Kody S

Thank you and I love your honesty.  Greatly appreciated.  I share your frustration with the inconsistency while at the same time agreeing that there have been many excellent experiences along the way as well.  Something like massage that has so many forms and varieties and is so personal and involves touch and varied physical reactions even to that is bound to be a frustrating experience at some point. This forum is a marvel at helping to pair down significantly those experiences and hires that are likely to be disappointing. In my journey, I’ve run across those few who consistently give me a great value for the money.  I tend to stick with those and experiment less with the YMMV type.  The thrill of the unknown is getting more expensive and not as worth it.  

Thank you and I love your honesty.  Greatly appreciated.  I share your frustration with the inconsistency while at the same time agreeing that there have been many excellent experiences along the way as well.  Something like massage that has so many forms and varieties and is so personal and involves touch and varied physical reactions even to that is bound to be a frustrating experience at some point. This forum is a marvel at helping to pair down significantly those experiences and hires that are likely to be disappointing. In my journey, I’ve run across those few who consistently give me a great value for the money.  I tend to stick with those and experiment less with the YMMV type.  The thrill of the unknown is getting more expensive and not as worth it.  

Thank you and I love your honesty.  Greatly appreciated.  I share your frustration with the inconsistency while at the same time agreeing that there have been many excellent experiences along the way as well.  Something like massage that has so many forms and varieties and is so personal and involves touch and varied physical reactions even to that is bound to be a frustrating experience at some point. This forum is a marvel at helping to pair down significantly those experiences and hires that are likely to be disappointing. In my journey, I’ve run across those few who consistently give me a great value for the money.  I tend to stick with those and experiment less with the YMMV type.  The thrill of the unknown is getting more expensive and not as worth it.  

Thank you and I love your honesty.  Greatly appreciated.  I share your frustration with the inconsistency while at the same time agreeing that there have been many excellent experiences along the way as well.  Something like massage that has so many forms and varieties and is so personal and involves touch and varied physical reactions even to that is bound to be a frustrating experience at some point. This forum is a marvel at helping to pair down significantly those experiences and hires that are likely to be disappointing. In my journey, I’ve run across those few who consistently give me a great value for the money.  I tend to stick with those and experiment less with the YMMV type.  The thrill of the unknown is getting more expensive and not as worth it.  

Thank you and I love your honesty.  Greatly appreciated.  I share your frustration with the inconsistency while at the same time agreeing that there have been many excellent experiences along the way as well.  Something like massage that has so many forms and varieties and is so personal and involves touch and varied physical reactions even to that is bound to be a frustrating experience at some point. This forum is a marvel at helping to pair down significantly those experiences and hires that are likely to be disappointing. In my journey, I’ve run across those few who consistently give me a great value for the money.  I tend to stick with those and experiment less with the YMMV type.  The thrill of the unknown is getting more expensive and not as worth it.  

Not sure if this is best in “The Lounge” or here, since its mainly the masseurs.
 I’ve only discovered the world of RentMasseur in the past few years and the thrill of not knowing how far a massage or even how good of a massage it will be … the thrill of the “hunt” for me is waning. 
You get your rub and tugs, oiling you like it’s a bodybuilding competition and limits on you (but public and dm’ed reviews from other forum members say otherwise). I’m not complaining (that much), just venting (?).  I’m average…not that young nor that old, not ugly nor movie star material, some meat on my bones that probably could use some gym time but with good to great hygiene. It’s a service, paid with hard-earned cash, but the takeaways are so random.   I won’t be a hypocrite and say i’ve only gotten bad massages and basic extras - i think more than half of my RMasseur hires were the wonderful and legit massages with all the after-massage activities expected …… and much more (as compared to what a few forum members and I have shared regarding a masseur or two that we’ve seen).
I might just need to take a short break from this hobby.  Or maybe a feeling of entitlement (?) that “cash = massage” equals should be applied to all.  
I’m just curious on what others’ take on this. Just keep truckin’ and it’s the thrill of the unknown? 
 (There is also a sense of delusional infatuation with one or two masseurs for me but i’ve read well-established helpful forum posts about this topic. Thank you, search function)
 
(if i don’t make sense, my apologies)
 
 

Yes and I would say it can feel dehumanizing. Better not at all if it’s “mechanical.”

Some masseurs will not want to provide their full service for a first time client. Could be for reasons of confidentiality if providing a sexual service is illegal or just to see what the client is like, and for the client to be comfortable with the masseur. This is a two way thing. So at the first visit it’s a ‘standard’ service and then extra things can be introduced at later appointments. 
I say to clients after their first session ‘if you enjoyed it and want to come back you’re welcome to tell me what you liked and what wasn’t so good and what you’d like differently next time’. Then they feel comfortable to ask when booking a subsequent session.  
I think having a sensual massage is very intimate and personal so you have to feel comfortable and trust your masseur before you can relax and allow him to go further. 
 

This has happened to me before and it’s a pain. I always communicate via email first and then text as has been suggested in the thread. 

Maybe my experience is too different but maybe in the end we are all the same.
Both my wife and I are bisexual. We married as friends, not "lovers".  We decided to share a life together and raise children, but that didn't mean we don't still have strong physical urges to be with other people, especially indulging in a same sex partner.  I think all relationships whether they be hetero or homosexual, are based primarily on TRUST. That means whatever your boundaries might be in an open relationship, they need to be AGREED upon and respected honestly.
For US....a physical relationship with a professional, is one that doesn't include any romantic interludes. So, an erotic massage that's paid-for is viewed as a no-risk encounter. My wife on the other-hand has her Lesbian friends who she spends time, and occasionally that time becomes intimate. So in the end, I am the one who worries more about infidelity than my wife. It is very much that intimacy of an ongoing outside-relationship that leaves one wondering at what point the boredom of your day to day might draw your partner to the excitement of a new lover. 
My advice is to avoid the gray-area of romantic intimacy with more than one person. It always feels threatening to your partner and risks confusing your own heart.
 

Yes and I would say it can feel dehumanizing. Better not at all if it’s “mechanical.”

My favorite masseur is priced $220 (he actually just went down to $200 upon me checking) for 90 and is certified and all the perks are in the price . I recently tried another "certified" masseur from RM with similar pricing. Because I booked through a professional site versus RM, he charged a little less ($185- this site shares what the going rate is, and he's above it, but still comparable by what's in the area). After the massage, I shared that I saw his RM ad before. He said oh would've been the same massage just a little more interactive ($250 price on RM). I laughed because the massage was underwhelming (C- at best), and he mentioned he puts nudes up to get appointments and tease but doesn't play or engage. So even at that $250 (60 mins) price point he's fine with taking a gamble and getting what he can. In turn, he's often advertising many places because he doesn't have many repeats. I say this to say, I'll always pay what someone is worth by way of their skill level. I just haven't met a certified therapist at that price point. The times I've paid that much, it's usually with tip factored in OR I knew I was getting more than a massage at some point. I never challenge someone on their price. I just look at pictures, reviews, check the forum, and decide if I want to pay it. If not, I move on. 

Don’t overlook though that whilst a masseur might charge $200 for an hour he’s doing more work outside that hour that isn’t directly compensated.
There’s all the time spent talking with potential clients. There’s time spent on personal hygiene and trying to keep fit (it is after all physical work and clients do like fit masseurs generally), there’s time updating social media and advertising, cleaning studio and washing towels etc. There’s also overheads like oil, room rental, travel costs, taxes, insurance. So what looks like to you is income of $200 an hour is really $120 for 3 hours. 

Then there’s all the time wasted because clients book but then don’t show up, like happened to me yesterday. I saw the signs but gave him the benefit of doubt and booked him in. Sure enough…he first says he’s running late then it just goes silent.
The rates we charge reflect the value we assign to our services. If a clients budget aligns with that then we’ll get bookings. Obviously there will be people who aren’t prepared to pay that price. It’s only a problem to me if no one is prepared to pay. But that’s not the case, I get clients booking, and returning, so I’m fine with my price. If I didn’t get any clients then my choice is reduce the price or leave the market. 

You are 100% correct.  I think the issue is that its hard to find one UNDER 180-200 these days.
I'm seeing  MORE and MORE of 200+ as the norm.  This has been happening over the last year or so.  YES covid and inflation is part of it, but it can't be all of it.  Yes   people's rent etc are going up.  But to charge $50+ more is insane.  Lets say an average masseur does very conservative 10 a week, that's $500 or $2k a month (again i'm being super conservative, that number is likely MUCH higher).
Just like the masseurs are being charged more for things, so are the clients (my utilities, gas, food etc) is also skyrocketing.
Also I see many ads justifying there cost with amenities - table, etc etc. But when they are traveling MOST of them don't have these amenities, so why still charge? 
Sorry to rant about this.  While Jaimie is correct, its just harder and harder for one to find a decent massage at a decent price.  
Thanks for listening

Of course. For me, the issue is about value and how providers seem to be leveraging the morass of 'extras.'  If you're advertising an erotic massage, that (at one time) included something more i.e. nude, touch, h/e, tonsil massage, etc.  In some instances, the $250/hr guys are negotiating these extras while you're on the table and things get very pricey.  I'll pay for value but I don't like sneaky, particularly when I'm there for relaxation.

This is a very helpful conversation about price. I am grateful for this site and everyone’s perspective.  I recognize that prices for everything have gone up significantly and that people are needing “touch” just to say sane.  We are made to need touch and covid and now MP are warring against that.  I have received a superb massage for sometime for around $150/90min (before tip) from private well trained masseurs who are extremely health conscious and take all the precautions with clean sheets and towels and you name it.  If those providers go up in price, I will pay the increase.  But others who charge higher than $180 for so much less, I can’t risk that.  I will pay for good quality and value but not for something that doesn’t help my own quality of life. I think individual experience with masseurs and hiring and one’s own needs helps sort through where the risk lines are.

That’s something I do. There’s a reason for why I sometimes do it. Allow me to explain.
If you’re jerking him off and it’s not working, maybe he’s not fully hard or something, then it could be down to your technique. I’ve jerked off hundreds of guys (probably into 4 figures lol) and it’s surprising how many different techniques there are. Not just technique on his cock but also whether he likes his balls held, his hole stroked etc to get him going.
So if I’ve tried a few things and none of them are working (which is unusual but it does happen), and maybe time is pressing, then I say to him “show me how you wank, I love watching”. Most guys will take you up and quickly go to their favourite technique. I let him do it a bit, observe the technique…is he a fast or slow guy? is it more head or shaft? does his spare hand go to a nipple? Then I intervene again and take over for him, copying his style. Now I know exactly what to do to get him to that ‘almost there’ point and I can mix things up and go to his preferred technique when needed.
It’s kind of sneaky but it’s one of the things you learn through experience. And of course it’s better than saying “oh fuck this you do it while I make myself a cup of tea” isn’t it? 
 

I've posted this before:
Buy a sling.  Not every client has to use it, but some will love it, and book you because of it. Rubber sheets are a provider's friend. Install a shower douche.  Again, some clients will book you simply because you provide that. Learn at least a few basic massage techniques. You can save a ton of money by buying the gallon jug o' lube and decanting into smaller bottles. Offer them a damn shower afterwards.  Duh. Don't bother with blocked phone calls. Seriously. He's a time waster. Same for texts that come through from an email address.
  Hear a voice on the phone before heading over or giving your address. Subsequent booking can be made via text.
  It's not a bad idea to call the hotel and get patched through to the room before heading over, especially if something strikes you as 'off'. The likelihood of a future booking actually happening is inversely proportional to the number of texts, calls and emails beforehand.
  Keep note of the numbers that flake on you, for they'll do it again in six months. And that same guy has done it to me, and every other escort. Be leery of drunk. They often pass out before you get there, or after.
  He may be having a great time and want to extend the session. Mazel tov. But he may be thinking with his little head and not have the funds. Settle up occasionally.
  Every client starts as a first timer. But first timers also often lose their nerve, and you lose your time and effort. Don't front the money for a first time session (hotel, travel, etc.) and rarely for repeat sessions.
  Don't drive two hours without a deposit (e.g. Venmo or Amazon e-gift card). Key words that indicate this is going nowhere: Engineer, Nigeria, "your city".
  Don't discount your first session because he's going to see you weekly. Future sessions may be negotiable, initial bookings are always full fare. Make some friends in the biz. They've seen it all before and can offer guidance.
  Trust your gut. A few bucks isn't worth your health, safety, or freedom. Most guys you'll meet will be wonderful and pleasant. Some will be odd ducks, and even that can be fun or at least entertaining. A few are bad eggs, but those guys are extremely prolific in wasting your time.
Kevin Slater

Thank all of you for sharing these experiences and perspectives.  I recently hired a RentMasseur masseur who delivered as advertised $180 for 60min. The massage was average (not bad), with the extras appropriate to the overall cost.  I texted a short note of appreciation after the session not expecting a response.  He the texted back thanking me for the note and saying that he offered “full service” if I wanted to come again later in the week.  We were both traveling, it wasn’t possible, and I didn’t want to spend any more $$. A couple of months later, I was in that masseur’s city and texted for availability and asked what the full service option was.  He texted back that it was $500 and all that came with it, clearly an escort deal which I was not interested in and too rich for me.  I politely texted thank you but the price was too high for me.  He then came down considerably, which was nice, but it just felt a bit awkward and not quite “au fait” with what the reduced price included, and after all that I didn’t even know what I wanted anymore, so I declined.  But better this than the upsell on the table which I cannot abide. 

Thank all of you for sharing these experiences and perspectives.  I recently hired a RentMasseur masseur who delivered as advertised $180 for 60min. The massage was average (not bad), with the extras appropriate to the overall cost.  I texted a short note of appreciation after the session not expecting a response.  He the texted back thanking me for the note and saying that he offered “full service” if I wanted to come again later in the week.  We were both traveling, it wasn’t possible, and I didn’t want to spend any more $$. A couple of months later, I was in that masseur’s city and texted for availability and asked what the full service option was.  He texted back that it was $500 and all that came with it, clearly an escort deal which I was not interested in and too rich for me.  I politely texted thank you but the price was too high for me.  He then came down considerably, which was nice, but it just felt a bit awkward and not quite “au fait” with what the reduced price included, and after all that I didn’t even know what I wanted anymore, so I declined.  But better this than the upsell on the table which I cannot abide. 

I concur. Just had a session with him. Misha provides a strong massage with lots of interaction. Very good looking with an amazing physique, he reminds me of a cuter John Cena. He has a very calm demeanor that makes it easy for me to be open to his positive energy.
Definitely worth a repeat.

This is why I have a registered massage therapist for my massage needs and then see an escort for the rest.

"How to bring up more with your masseur?" - Simple... agree to parameters upfront and you - the client - learn the difference between a "masseur" and a "sex worker". 
This is a subject that, frankly, pisses me and a lot of other actual escorts / sex workers off, as the grey areas some masseurs work in really make life difficult for everyone.
I'm a sex worker / escort. I'm happy to offer (self taught) massage as part of my bookings. I charge standard male sex worker rates for my sessions... and obviously I am open to all pre-agreed sex acts during those sessions. However, I have lost count how many enquiries I've had by men who balk at my rates and say "I know a masseur who'd do that for £40!" 
1. More fool that masseur for doing the work of a sex worker and but not getting paid their worth, just because they want to avoid the label of being a "sex worker". 
2. Masseurs might except the request to give a happy-finish or more for an extra on-the-spot tip, but there is no ethical obligation to actually do it. If they aren't attracted to the client, they could make take offence at the offer and you feel awful for simply requesting it.  How much they bend their ethical code of professional conduct on occasions should never be at the expense of misleading a client and shaming them for expecting a more sexual service. 
If you want a professional massage, see a masseur. If you want sex and intimate contact, don't be cheap and expect a masseur do bend their rules for you for a little extra pocket money.... See an sex worker who will be happy to set comfortable parameters for everyone up-front, and get exactly what you pay for (with the option for more) with no risk of rejection, judgement or shaming. 
And masseurs... please... either just be sex workers or stay in your lane. I promise you'll still get more regular work than we do. 

That is a good point. He actually has let me touch him and pulls down his shorts at the end. I think I just need to stick with the fact that he is comfortable where is and not push it. 
Tbh his massage is probably an 8.5 out of 10 on the technical side which is why I keep going back. In my market it is very difficult to find more than a 7 consistently. 
We have a lot of pass through people and I have found some wonderful 9s and 10s but a whole lot of 5s and below as well ha. 

If he hasn’t got naked or pulled his shorts down by now then I seriously doubt he will be willing to do so now, even if you ask him. It seems to make him uncomfortable so I’d suggest that even if he did consent it would make for an awkward session. Maybe just enjoy his massage for what it is and keep the naked massage with him as a fantasy.