Sensual massages and LTRs

[+ 7829V]

Just wondering how many of you guys are in LTRs and your partner knows that you enjoy sensual massages? Do you have clear boundaries on what’s allowed? Is your relationship open or only sensual massages are allowed? 

I met a guy and maybe (big maybe) it could become something more serious. So I just want to get a feeling on how other couples handle massages while in a relationship… assuming is a “monogamous” one… or you stop getting massages all together?

I know each relationship is different and everyone could set their own rules… I just want to hear other experiences. Thanks.

[jeezifonly]

Sensual massage is sensual massage. “Something more serious” with someone who provides sensual massage is not just sensual massage, it’s …something more serious. 

I keep my pastime to myself, because I am clear about the limits of the exchange from my POV. Bodywork (like spa-level) with maybe a HE. Small talk, no full names, no plans for coffee…

Single or married, just know what you’re looking for in the hire. 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

A fireman fuck buddy of mine is married.  When the fireman needs a massage, he goes to a franchise/chain massage business for the cheap price and decent massage, then texts me when he's on his way home to see if he can stop by my house to finish him off before he goes home to his husband.  I'm almost always happy to oblige.  It's quite a nice arrangement for all involved. 

Edited September 15, 2022 by Vegas_nw1982

[Tallguy38]

my BF and I have been together for about 2 years.   He knew I liked massages sometimes with a HE.   for me its mostly about the "will it/won't it happen" thing that excites me.   He has no interest.  We told each other that we would always tell the other one if something happened and I agreed to that.   One time I got a massage from a man that I was not into at all, and it was very unexpected considering the place/establishment, but he finished me off.   I get hard very easily and can cum no matter what.  so this dude jacks me off and I was very surprised by it.  I was gonna take it to the grave but he asked me a few weeks later, "I feel like you hooked up with someone or got a dirty massage recently" and I told him yes, "sorry I lied, I was embarrassed and shocked it happened, wasn't expecting it, didnt feel the need to tell".        that didnt go over well hahah.     regardless, we set a new rule that those interactions don't need to be disclosed.  I will still tell him sometimes if it happens but it feels like a little too much.   Its something I like to do, it takes an hour, i like to cum a lot, and its not like I'm done for the day if someone jacks me off.  so I dont feel the need to tell him everytime.    It works for us but it took some arguments and trust discussions to get there.    

[Rockey]

If you want a serious relationship with him, don’t fuck around with anyone else.  Wait it out then fuck around. Couples don’t fuck each other after some years together and then it’s okay to get it elsewhere. If you don’t want to pair up, then go for it. Your friend may or may not be okay with it, but since you really didn’t want a soulmate; you won’t care if he bolts. 

[guyfouryou]

First 10 year LTR 100% monogamous, even 'mentally' monogamous meaning I wouldn't even 'look' at another man. And I didn't. Unless you count porn, I was entirely faithful. I would shut down any "temptation" right away. Totally ruined that relationship. With my current partner, completely open from the moment we started dating.

You make the rules (and they can change over time) and there's right or wrong unless it damages your relationship (meaning what you both have AGREED to abide by). 

I'm so happy I don't have to live by the incredibly restrictive and completely bogus "straight script" that so many m/f couples have to.

[TorontoDrew]

On 9/14/2022 at 9:21 PM, Vegas_nw1982 said:

A fireman fuck buddy of mine is married.  When the fireman needs a massage, he goes to a franchise/chain massage business for the cheap price and decent massage, then texts me when he's on his way home to see if he can stop by my house to finish him off before he goes home to his husband.  I'm almost always happy to oblige.  It's quite a nice arrangement for all involved. 

Lucky you

[pubic_assistance]

Maybe my experience is too different but maybe in the end we are all the same.
Both my wife and I are bisexual. We married as friends, not "lovers".  We decided to share a life together and raise children, but that didn't mean we don't still have strong physical urges to be with other people, especially indulging in a same sex partner.  I think all relationships whether they be hetero or homosexual, are based primarily on TRUST. That means whatever your boundaries might be in an open relationship, they need to be AGREED upon and respected honestly.

For US....a physical relationship with a professional, is one that doesn't include any romantic interludes. So, an erotic massage that's paid-for is viewed as a no-risk encounter. My wife on the other-hand has her Lesbian friends who she spends time, and occasionally that time becomes intimate. So in the end, I am the one who worries more about infidelity than my wife. It is very much that intimacy of an ongoing outside-relationship that leaves one wondering at what point the boredom of your day to day might draw your partner to the excitement of a new lover. 

My advice is to avoid the gray-area of romantic intimacy with more than one person. It always feels threatening to your partner and risks confusing your own heart.