Wolfer

Okay guys, so tomorrow I finally have my appointment at the hospital to get my anus thoroughly checked. Because even five weeks later, it's still burning, sore and painful. I have been having a lot of gut problems and pain these past few weeks and my doctor thinks the burning might be coming from my intestinal problems and not from a local problem. I'll know more tomorrow! I've started a very clean, high fibre diet to help my gut. Oh I do hope to be healed up soon... Last Saturday I was making out with a hot Portugese guy on the couch and I sat on his lap, straddling his legs with mine and internally I was yearning to ride his dick so hard.

I actually considered this when I was still in a relationship... But since I've been single I've come to the conclusion I want sexy time too I don't hire erotic masseurs for the same reason, when I get frisky, I want full-on sex, not just a handjob.

I'm less tall than you are (just over 6') and I've noticed that all escorts I've hired have always been shorter than me, sometimes by quite a bit. I always forget that I'm a bit taller than the average person in Belgium. It's almost become a desire to find a guy as tall or taller than me

And what if the client doesn't have a lot of self-confidence? Mind, I take extra care to never be self-deprecating and I accept (never refuse) every compliment without ever fishing for one. That doesn't take away, though, that I have almost zero sexual self-confidence and I subconsciously act like that, too. I don't carry myself very sexily nor take charge or know what to do.

Perfect recap of the situation Thanks so much for your kind thoughts

Thank you, guys, I'll keep you updated. Yeah, it's quite frustrating, the waiting times here at the hospital. When I had to go to the urologist it was slightly better, only had to wait two weeks! And it's same the at all the hospitals.

Looks like I won't be bottoming any time soon... The prescribed creams from the doctor made everything ten times worse. It's completely raw and inflamed now... I now have to go the hospital to get a full rectal exam so they can determine what's going on. My appointment is in five weeks...

HAHAHAAHAHAAAAAAHAHAAAAAA I love that song, I sent a video of me singing that same verse to a friend of mine yesterday. Have you seen the original song in its original movie musical scene? It's supposed to be serious, but looking at it from a modern perspective it is hilarious.

Ah, wow, this actually makes sense to me... Yes, the face is where we are the most personal. Bodies are interchangeable to a certain extent. But then to me involvement and intimacy are cornerstones of good escort services. Yeah, this one always reeked of bullshit to me. To me it just seems again like a way of self delusion to hide inner shame or guilt about behaviour or types of relationships they're not completely comfortable with having or doing. Ahah! So I was misinterpreting it! No, they don't need to go to the back of my throat. I think one escort did that and I didn't like it one bit. But stick their tongue completely in my mouth? Yes, please! You and I are not so different, Gman. I'm also not a fan of the spitting, as in I'm like "EW DON'T DO THAT". And until last week I thought I had not a single erogenous zone on my body until a beefy latino took charge of me and worked my ears, neck and back into ecstacy.

So maybe I'm understanding tonsil raping wrong? Granted, I also have very limited experience... So far I've only kissed with three escorts (and I've kissed maybe 5 or 6 people in total in my life). The first escort I didn't like the way he kissed. He did stick his tongue in my mouth but it didn't feel great. The second one, we just seem to devour each other. Our tongues are completely down each other's mouths and I absolutely love every second of it (I'm getting hard just thinking about it). The third one I love to kiss like that too, although he has an interesting way of kissing, he almost laps at your mouth with his tongue. I don't slobber, though. Hahaha, that's just messy. But I feel a bit... weird that I like kissing deep with tongue so much now.

I see, that makes sense. With a dick there are less surprises and you can be more in control. But different folks, different strokes, because I love it when I guy forces his tongue out and sticks it all the way down my throat. I'm curious to know whether the no kissing was only when he was turned off by the client or that he did not kiss in general with clients? I hope I don't come across expecting escorts to be machines... We are all humans and I fully respect an escort's limit. I just recognize we're not a good match and move on. I have my own limits on what I do and don't do and expect to have these respected also. That's interesting, do you have any particular reasons as to why not? Is it just something that doesn't interest you, like some people just aren't into rimming or handjobs?

Yeah, I've heard of this too. It makes equally no sense to me... It seems like an interesting sort of self delusion. But then we all delude ourselves in various ways about ourselves and how we act in the world, of course.

So I know every escort has his own limits and preferences and such, with even mutual oral and fucking not being guaranteed and such. I'm curious where the limit on no kissing comes from? I'm a person that can't even fathom thinking about sex without kissing. It's like the most essential thing to me... I was talking to a regular of mine about this. I was telling him about an escort I'd seen that said he would kiss and then didn't. For the regular he said it was purely related to hygiene: if a client is clean (like I am, minty fresh!) he kisses, otherwhise he does not. He said escorts sell their dick and ass, not their mouth. Also, a dick can smell a bit but isn't necessarily as gross as a filthy mouth (paraphrasing him here). So nothing to do with intimacy and such. I just saw "Pretty Woman" and I liked the (fantasy) explanation she gave: it's to protect herself from falling in love with her clients because kissing is too intimate and real feelings might get mixed up. Nice sentimental drivel there, but I doubt this would be a reason in the real world... To me... You know... Well... Ugh, what I mean is... What's the difference between sticking a dick or tongue in your mouth? That's what I don't get. To me it's all one blur of sexual activity anyway. But then again, I can't fathom having sex without a blowjob or a good fucking either, so I'm not being hypocritical in making kissing essential. See, you could say: "Stop trying to figure things out, Wolfer". But I'm a Gemini rising, and we have a visceral need to figure things out. And figuring things out and understanding them make me all warm, fuzzy and tingly inside. Do you kiss with clients or not? If not, why not? If you do, is there a reason you do do? (obscure 30-Rock reference there) Another similar enigma I've recently come across: two escorts offering their services as a duo, so that means they do a threesome with a client BUT it states clearly in their ad: "We're only friends. What this means is we don't fuck each other. We can play but not suck or fuck each other." What's up with that? If you're comfortable enough to get naked and have sex (with another person) in front of each other, and find each other hot enough to "play" with each other and get turned on by that... what's the difference about just, you know, going for it all the way with each other? That limit almost seems arbitrary and reminds me of this SNL sketch: (If you don't wanna watch it, basically an actress is auditioning and has absolutely NO limits on what she'll do in front of the camera except wear a costume or clothes of any kind).

Oooh boy, look's like some dormant issues are cropping up. Well, opportunities for self-growth are certainly commencing! A selection of my inner dialogue about bottoming: "Why are bottoms seen as lesser than?" "Why do people assume I'm a bottom? Because I'm not masculine enough? I'm not enough of a man?" "Why are tops supposed to be the "real man" in the equation, what the fuck is up with that?" "Why is it assumed that guys with small (read: average) dicks should be the bottoms? Guys with average dicks can't fuck or what?" I oppose these thoughts with: "I choose to let a guy fuck me because I like getting railed and love the intimacy of having him inside me. I am in control." "It takes a real man to take it like a man from another man." Uh yeah... Hmmm. Self development opportunities abound.

You guys, you guys, ooooh my gosh. So I went back to the beefy latino. Mmmm hmm. The things he does to me just make me act like such a bottom. He just pushes all the right buttons with me. Must've been funny, me saying I'm a top and then lie there moaning and groaning with my ass up in the air and him dry humping me, hahahaha. Phwuah, once I'm all healed up I think I might take the plunge... I mean, let him plunge into me. I'm scared, exhilirated and excited.

So I finally took the plunge and went on Grindr last week. I am thirty and scruffy and I get a LOT of messages from really young guys (think 18-20) and not just to chat either... I was actually taken aback by this, especially with the age difference. Thirty isn't that old of course, but still, the difference between 18 and 30 is that of adolescence and fully grown-up.

Okay, I'm back from the doctor. It's something that's easily healed, apparently the connecting (or dividing?) tissue between my colon and my rectum got a little chaffed and inflamed because I had the runs a couple of weeks ago. I just have to put ointment on it twice a day and shove a pill up my butthole every night (that is actually bottom great training, right there) and everything will be completely healed up within a couple of days! YAY! I AM SO READY TO STICK THINGS UP MY BUTT! ANY TAKERS???? (I mean GIVERS HAHAHAHA).

I'm in the waiting room now, I'll keep you guys updated. And aaaw, shucks, so nice that you think of me. Interesting. Yeah, I still haven't found a lube I really like. The Durex one is the nicest I've tested so far. What's an FF bottom?

Well, I'm off to the doctor tomorrow! My anus is still sore and burning from my personal playsession four days ago. I'm sure it's not supposed to be like that? I can't imagine bottoms having to deal with pain for a week after one fuck session... Bottoms, feel free to weigh in. Thanks!

Yep, mine is made from that black rubber as well. Maybe I could try a condom on my finger first, without penetrating, to see if it actually is the condom that burns. I'm gonna go see a doctor first, because there has been (GRAPHIC WARNING) a bit of blood after wiping.

This, I've noticed the exact same thing. Though I seem to have it too with condoms I don't know if my mind is changing the memory in hindsight, but I seem to remember having (much) less of a burning sensation the few times I had sex without a condom with my ex-husband.

Thanks for pointing that out. A friend of mine had hemorrhoids and I asked him how he got them and he said that apparently it was because he was pooping a lot. To the doctor it is! I don't have AnalEaze but some relaxation spray. But is it safe to use these? Don't they just make you numb to pain that would otherwhise let you know your body can't accomodate what you're trying to put into it?

I like that idea. Just playing with myself just felt so technical it wasn't really conducive to feeling any pleasure.

Oh, I do douche with just lukewarm water. The soap is only used to clean the outer part of the anus. Yep, the lube started burning me, just like the body-wash soap. I do have extremely sensitive skin. My anus generally tends to be a bit sore because... (TMI coming!) Well, see, I'm vegan so I have a very good transit which leads to sometimes multiple number two's a day. Wiping with toilet paper this many times irritates it (to the point of actually breaking the skin). Maybe if I use baby wipes this will help? There are some weeks that it's better and my anus has a chance to heal. Fabio. But you'll have to come to Belgium, though. http://www.planetromeo.com/FABIOLATINO69

Oh no, not another thread about bottoming! Ah, but I've done my research... poured hours over the various threads and posts on the forum here, dating all the way back the beginning of the previous decade. So this is more of a sharing of experience and also some request for talking about how and what I felt and how I can move forward. So I've never really enjoyed bottoming up until now. When I was with my ex-husband, I bottomed a few times but we naturally evolved to him being the bottom and me being the top. We were also each other's first and only until we seperated after thirteen years. Since then I've topped exclusively with the guys I've been with and I absolutely love it. I get rock hard, love to ease myself into a guy while being attentive to his needs. BUT! AH! Something happened yesterday! I was having amazing blow-your-socks off sex with a beefy latino until suddenly he flips me onto my stomach, lays himself on top of me and starts to work my neck, back and ass in such ways I was in pure ecstasy. Before I knew it I had my ass up in the air and a desire to get fucked by him took hold of me. I ultimately didn't, because I hadn't douched and also hadn't bottomed in a couple of years. But it had opened me up (pun intended) to become versatile and try bottoming. So try I did! Having read all the wonderful threads here on the advice to prepare yourself I did just that: I douched, put on some hot porn, lubed up my ass, played with myself, took out a tiny (about 3") dildo and started working myself. First thing: my anus burned. But it already started burning when I used the lube, long before I put anything up there. It also burns when I use soap. This is such a mood killer. When I was gently pushing the dildo in, the burning sensation intensified. So while the idea of getting fucked was a turn-on, almost all of the physical sensations were a mood killer, especially the burning. I've read that the burning sensation might be because the muscles are being forced, but that doesn't explain the burning already starting when just putting lube on it. I'm not a quitter so I pushed the dildo in completely and it flopped back out again a couple of times. But I kept at it and I'm certain I hit my prostrate because I immediately came uncontrollably while my whole body was awash with ecstasy, even after cumming physically the ecstasy remained until I pulled the dildo out. That moment did override any of the physical discomfort. So in conclusion: I was a bit dissappointed that the discomfort was so big. But I'm willing to try it again. But there has to be something that I can do about the burning, because it completely, totally destroys the mood. Pain is a complete and utter turn-off for me. I also hit a wall with just the 3" dildo. So what can be done about that? Work my way up to bigger?