Wolfer

I've given this some thought and have talked to bottoms about this... How can you know for yourself what you are? I did this to get more clarity about myself (I had a while where I was trying to become vers, documented on these forums by the way, hahaha). What I noticed is that bottoms told me they get completely sexually satisfied and fulfilled when bottoming and when topping it gives them almost no pleasure at all. Their first thought when they are turned on is "fuck me". When a bottom told me that I realized I really am a top: because I have all the same feelings, just in reverse. Topping a guy is so completely wholly satisfying to me while the times I've bottomed it was never as pleasurable and certainly not satisfying. When I get turned on my first thought is "I wanna fuck him". (Well, "I wanna wreck that ass," to be more precise. And also "I wanna throw him against the wall, rough him up a little". ) To me that's how you define a "true" one way or the other: what gives you utter complete sexual satisfaction and your kneejerk thoughts when you see a guy. I feel like true vers guys get to have their cake and eat it too. Another thing that's been said to me when I say I don't enjoy bottoming is that I should train more. Believe me, I did, until I started talking to bottoms who said they didn't enjoy topping. I then realized that, yes, it could be that I just don't have the wiring in my brain to enjoy bottoming and that's okay.

Aaah, gotcha! Thanks for the clarification!

That's awesome, thanks for that suggestion! I'll be keeping that in mind when I go back to the US! I would never ask that... Because that would imply (to me anyway) they'd only bottom because of the money and not any pleasure they'd get from it, which is a turn-off for me. The question "Do you bottom?" I only put in when the guy advertises as vers/top, to get an idea of how open they are to bottoming. When he advertises as vers I just state I'm a top and when he advertises as a bottom... Well, never found one till now.

I apologize if that's what you got from that, see the bolded statement from my previous post below... To me there's no difference between a truly vers guy or a true bottom because they'll have the same type of genuine gushing pleasure when getting fucked.

I ask this because I do most of my hiring in Belgium, where it is legal, so my pre-hiring chats are very straightforward, along the lines of: "Hey! I saw your profile on Rentmen. I may be interested in a date. Do you kiss with tongue? (This is very important for me). Do you bottom? (I'm a top) Can you host? What's the price? I am available this afternoon or tomorrow evening after 8pm. Thanks!" From what I can surmise from the forums is that this type of straightforward questioning in the US might be a problem? So any tips on how I can best approach this? I ask because in the past I've had some dissapointing experiences because I didn't communicate clearly enough beforehand.

Yup, I'm in the same boat. I don't like the idea of an escort that is a top in his personal life to bottom for me because, having had a boyfriend who was a real total bottom, I can see and feel the difference. Bottoms (or true vers guys) just have that particular switch in their brain that just... I can't describe it but I've begun to call it "bottom energy", because I've noticed it with all the true bottoms I've been with. It's very noticeable, it's like they get flooded with pleasure when they're getting fucked. This also drives me wild, seeing a guy lose it like that. The escorts I initially hired (and this was before I had any experience with real bottoms) were tops in their personal lifes but advertised as vers. But this is actually a turn-off for me as I get pleasure from giving pleasure. The thought of someone "grinning and bearing" it... Nope. I actually also know a guy who advertises as a vers/top but is a bottom most of the time in his personal life. Seems that advertising as a top just brings in more bussines.

How 's the selection of (muscular) latino bottoms there? From reading on the forums I get the impression it's harder to find guys that bottom? How do you check by the way, do you just ask? I'm thinking of going to Barcelona and have Thermas Sauna be on my bucket list. I've never been to a sauna before, so any advice would be nice, thanks!

Do it! Seriously, make that flaxseed lube. It is perfectly fine to use with condoms and it also contains some nutrients (or minerals or whatever they're called) that actually hydrate and heal mucuos membranes (which your anus is). Many commercial lubes have irritating agents (mostly the preservatives) that will irritate your butthole. You can store the flaxseed lube for up to a week (is what I've read) in the fridge. I would always have a slight burning feeling for days after using regular lube and using flaxseed lube I don't have it at all. Coconut oil is also a GREAT lube but you can't use it with a condom as it will deteriorate the condom's material and make it likely to rip. But if you're in a position to use it, it's amaaaaaazing as a lube.

I recently heard that Barcelona was amazing. Great beaches, hot guys all around. Has been recommended by a couple of friends vacation wise. Sexy time I have no input. HAVE FUUUUN!!

I even found a video saying how to make it: I use a lot more flax seeds. The last batch I made wasn't thick enough. I prefer it to really get thick as it slides a lot better.

Any thoughts or tips about this or how I can prevent/handle this? I do know I've been a little constipated lately and so there was a lot "backed up" so to speak... I'm taking magnesium now, which is helping a lot.

Sure! It's super easy, only there's a bit of clean-up and you have to use it the same day or the day after at the latest since it has no preservatives. You put white flaxseed into a pot, cover the whole base with a layer of flaxseed. Then add water till all the flaxseed is just floating above the base and then put it on a medium heat. Let the water lightly boil for a short while (it gets sticky really quick) until the water thickens, then take the pot off the heat. Now you scoop out any foam that's formed with a spoon and next you seperate the flaxsees from the liquid. The liquid is what's gonna be used as the lube. You put the flaxseed on a cheesecloth (or even better: a butter muslin). And then squeeze the liquid from the seeds (careful the seeds will be hot!) into a container and tadaa, you've got completely natural, super hydrating and healing lube (it has omega 6 fatty acids in it that particularly bond well with mucous membrames of our bodies!). You'll need to experiment somewhat with the heat, amount of water and how much flaxseed you use. My experience is that it gets too thick very quickly, it's best to keep it a bit more on the liquid side 'cause if it's too thick it'll be hard to seperate the liquid from the seeds. It does have a particular smell, but not a bad one. It smells like homemade cooking.

Long overdue update! SO! My ass is in pristine condition, I have gotten the all get-go from the proctologist. The only thing of note is that my sphincter muscle of my anus is apparently stronger than average. Which I don't think tops will mind too much! I do need to consciously train relaxation of my pelvic floor and anus muscles. Which a very lovely physical therapist actually taught me how to do in the hospital. All good things! And I also met a bottom guy who makes his own lube (cause he has sensitive skin like I have) and I've been making my own lube and sticking things up there and the lube is like heaven! It's silky smooth and actually hydrates your tissues (you can even use it on your face! ) There's one thing that bothered me: I douched completely before personal play-time. The water came out crystal clear. But right after play-time was done I had to go and do quite a big number two almost right after... There was only about an hour or two between the douching and the toilet break. I was a bit surprised 'cause I'd read that you can stay clean for at least a while if you douche, but maybe not if there's a new "shipment" just ready to go right before you douche? Thoughts on this?

Okay guys, so tomorrow I finally have my appointment at the hospital to get my anus thoroughly checked. Because even five weeks later, it's still burning, sore and painful. I have been having a lot of gut problems and pain these past few weeks and my doctor thinks the burning might be coming from my intestinal problems and not from a local problem. I'll know more tomorrow! I've started a very clean, high fibre diet to help my gut. Oh I do hope to be healed up soon... Last Saturday I was making out with a hot Portugese guy on the couch and I sat on his lap, straddling his legs with mine and internally I was yearning to ride his dick so hard.

I actually considered this when I was still in a relationship... But since I've been single I've come to the conclusion I want sexy time too I don't hire erotic masseurs for the same reason, when I get frisky, I want full-on sex, not just a handjob.

I'm less tall than you are (just over 6') and I've noticed that all escorts I've hired have always been shorter than me, sometimes by quite a bit. I always forget that I'm a bit taller than the average person in Belgium. It's almost become a desire to find a guy as tall or taller than me

And what if the client doesn't have a lot of self-confidence? Mind, I take extra care to never be self-deprecating and I accept (never refuse) every compliment without ever fishing for one. That doesn't take away, though, that I have almost zero sexual self-confidence and I subconsciously act like that, too. I don't carry myself very sexily nor take charge or know what to do.

Perfect recap of the situation Thanks so much for your kind thoughts

Thank you, guys, I'll keep you updated. Yeah, it's quite frustrating, the waiting times here at the hospital. When I had to go to the urologist it was slightly better, only had to wait two weeks! And it's same the at all the hospitals.

Looks like I won't be bottoming any time soon... The prescribed creams from the doctor made everything ten times worse. It's completely raw and inflamed now... I now have to go the hospital to get a full rectal exam so they can determine what's going on. My appointment is in five weeks...

HAHAHAAHAHAAAAAAHAHAAAAAA I love that song, I sent a video of me singing that same verse to a friend of mine yesterday. Have you seen the original song in its original movie musical scene? It's supposed to be serious, but looking at it from a modern perspective it is hilarious.

Ah, wow, this actually makes sense to me... Yes, the face is where we are the most personal. Bodies are interchangeable to a certain extent. But then to me involvement and intimacy are cornerstones of good escort services. Yeah, this one always reeked of bullshit to me. To me it just seems again like a way of self delusion to hide inner shame or guilt about behaviour or types of relationships they're not completely comfortable with having or doing. Ahah! So I was misinterpreting it! No, they don't need to go to the back of my throat. I think one escort did that and I didn't like it one bit. But stick their tongue completely in my mouth? Yes, please! You and I are not so different, Gman. I'm also not a fan of the spitting, as in I'm like "EW DON'T DO THAT". And until last week I thought I had not a single erogenous zone on my body until a beefy latino took charge of me and worked my ears, neck and back into ecstacy.

So maybe I'm understanding tonsil raping wrong? Granted, I also have very limited experience... So far I've only kissed with three escorts (and I've kissed maybe 5 or 6 people in total in my life). The first escort I didn't like the way he kissed. He did stick his tongue in my mouth but it didn't feel great. The second one, we just seem to devour each other. Our tongues are completely down each other's mouths and I absolutely love every second of it (I'm getting hard just thinking about it). The third one I love to kiss like that too, although he has an interesting way of kissing, he almost laps at your mouth with his tongue. I don't slobber, though. Hahaha, that's just messy. But I feel a bit... weird that I like kissing deep with tongue so much now.

I see, that makes sense. With a dick there are less surprises and you can be more in control. But different folks, different strokes, because I love it when I guy forces his tongue out and sticks it all the way down my throat. I'm curious to know whether the no kissing was only when he was turned off by the client or that he did not kiss in general with clients? I hope I don't come across expecting escorts to be machines... We are all humans and I fully respect an escort's limit. I just recognize we're not a good match and move on. I have my own limits on what I do and don't do and expect to have these respected also. That's interesting, do you have any particular reasons as to why not? Is it just something that doesn't interest you, like some people just aren't into rimming or handjobs?

Yeah, I've heard of this too. It makes equally no sense to me... It seems like an interesting sort of self delusion. But then we all delude ourselves in various ways about ourselves and how we act in the world, of course.