Rudynate

Guilty.

It's OK for straight folks to have sexual attractions to people that they hire like personal trainers, but, as a gay man, something that you're supposed to deny and apologize for. Classic case of internalized homophobia, my friend.

And yet he has mostly five-star reviews. Maybe he really delivers.

Let it go. Even if you had hired him mostly because you were attracted to him, what's wrong with that? I don't hire trainers solely on their looks, but it's an important consideration. Getting fit with a great looking trainer is very enjoyable. And when they're also really good, it's a winning combination. People are going to talk and you can't stop them, so don't worry about it.

I think you need to get out more.

I really enjoyed Downton Abbey, but it always made me think, "There's more to life than changing your clothes all day."

And the butler was dressed black-tie (tuxedo, black bow ties) as opposed to white-tie (white bow tie, white waistcoat and tailcoat.) White-tie is the most formal evening dress

The thing that I like about formal daytime dress is that hasn't been rendered cliche through overuse and overexposure. Because it has fallen out of use, when you see it, it retains its special aura. When my partner and I got married, we thought we would like to dress that way, but when we checked into the cost we had difficulty finding a place that could provide such an outfit and it turned out it would cost hundreds of dollars for each of us. Practicality won out. Guys in tuxedos look like wine stewards in high-end restaurants. One of the surest ways for an escort's profile to turn me off is if he has a pic of himself in a tuxedo holding a champagne flute. It says, "I am a total ass."

Generalizations, pushed to their limit, nearly always break down. Nonetheless, even with their limitations, they are useful descriptive tools. The problem with colognes/perfumes/toilet waters is that it isn't just a question fashion and style and personal preference. As someone noted upthread, many find it to be presumptious and an impermissible invasion of their personal space. And there are health issues. Men's fragrances aren't a problem typically, because of their subtlety and because the wearers don't necessarily want to use so much that their fragrance precedes them as they enter a room, but when I'm in close proximity to a woman who has doused herself, I start sneezing, and that's a common complaint. It isn't just out of PC that strong fragrances aren't permitted in most workplaces - there are genuine health issues and employers find them an unacceptable distraction.

I grew up in the northeast and I have spent nearly my entire adult life in the western US. In the late 80s, I spent a couple years in Rochester, where I grew up. I was surprised to notice that it was common among gay guys to use fragrance of some sort. I did also notice that they tended to have a disconcerting preoccupation with designer labels.

It's even considered uncool and unprofessional for a woman to show up for work with a lot of fragrance on.

Perhaps it hasn't come up because that is formal daytime dress, seen only at pushy weddings. A top hat and morning coat used to be obligatory for presidential inaugurations, but the last time I remember seeing it was for Kennedy's inauguration.

In some locales, wearing fragrance is considered sort of yesterday and unsophisticated. For example, here in San Francisco, of somebody wearing cologne, people might say, "He wears COLOGNE," the subtext being "OMG, that's so out of it!" It's considered sort of fussy and something out of the heartland.

A friend of mine really did have to go to the ER to have a dildo retrieved from his ass.

No, I don't own one and I never would. If I had an occasion to dress up, I would wear a dark suit, white shirt and dark tie. Since tuxedos have become such a common uniform in the hospitality industry, a nice suit actually seems dressier to me.

The Turk Street Y was rooms-only. There was a little corridor that connected it to the Golden Gate Y, which also had rooms, pool, gymnasium and workout facilities. I must be dating myself. Whenever I mention the Turk Street Y, nobody seems to remember it.

The Turk Street Y was pretty active too. I used to stay there when I visited SF.

I don't always think on my feet.

Speech and language have enormous power, more than many people appreciate. Common words, like "patient," are loaded with implied meaning that has the power to shape ones experience without a person even realizing it.

It went exactly like that.

Beautiful.

I'm enthralled with dangerous-looking guys- bikers, guys with jailhouse tatts, laborers. I've never acted on it but I came close once. I hired a laborer to trim the trees and he was pretty hot. I could just tell that he wanted to have sex. He asked to come in and use the bathroom and I followed him into the bathroom. We dropped trou and he had a big uncut dick, but I saw that his shorts were full of skid marks and it grossed me out, so I backed out.

I've found differences between an A4A rate and a RM rate. I contact the guy through the site with the lower quoted rate.

I almost always do incalls, occasionally I host at a hotel. At a hotel, I always leave the cash out in sight. Incalls are interesting. I have the cash ready in my pocket and I have a tip ready, separate from the payment, but then we usually get into it pretty quickly after I arrive, so I forget about putting the cash out. When we're wrapping up, I leave it out in plain sight. One of my quirks is that I don't like to just leave the cash by the bed. I like to leave it someplace nice. So if there's a desk or a nice plate on a dresser where he leaves his change and his keys, I leave it there. Its never been a problem. I have, on occasion, handed him the cash directly, but its weird, so I would rather not.

Most of these guys are products. I'm more more interested in people, although I do have a thing for Brian Bonds and Boomer Banks.