adventurous old guy

A few thoughts as a current Chicagoan. First, if I were hiring now LeoFireXL would be top of list. He's either new here or visiting. Great pics, and interesting comments in the reviews. I'm enjoying this hobby vicariously through the experiences of others now, so would love to hear more about him. Keep us posted.
 
As for Chicago in general, yes we're going though a messy, scary time of change. But there are good things coming out of it, one of them being deepening camaraderie between activists for gay rights and the protestors against racism. Gay activists have been paving the way for social change here for 50+ years. Growing the Pride parade from a fringe group to a celebrated city holiday. Developing Boystown from a neighborhood where the Guardian Angels used to have to patrol to keep us from getting beat up on our way home from bars to a place where lots of people want to live now because its so interesting, prosperous and welcoming. The first black mayor, Harold Washington, who broke the political machine, wouldn't have gotten elected but for support from the gay community. And now our mayor is a tough as nails black lesbian & former prosecutor who, though she's made some mistakes, relentlessly stands up to the a**hole in the White House, has kept our Covid rate steadily down, and is uniquely able to navigate the tensions between police and protestors, both of whom she vocally supports. Plus a huge drag on this progress for gays in Chicago has been continued homophobia in the black community, so Mayor Lightfoot is just the right person for the messy times now IMHO.
 
Finally, about the Boystown name change -- one of Chicago's deepest, most entrenched problems is the continued segregation of our neighborhoods. It affects quality of schools, access to healthcare and food, risk of getting shot in the streets, even average lifespan overall. Boystown isn't just a gay ghetto anymore, its an economic engine in the city. So maybe the name change is a sign of progress? I just wish they 'd have come up with something more clever than "Northhalsted," which sounds like the least common denominator of some committee process. But the tagline is going to be "Chicago's Proudest Neighborhood" -- that I like and captures the current spirit of the place and the history of gay influence in the city I think.
 
Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming. Someone please hire LeoFireXL -- preferably as a bottom -- and let us know how it goes!!!

Btw, another guy I can recommend in Chicago now is Mathianis: https://rentmen.eu/mathianis/#platinum Have seen him 3 times, two really strong performances, one not so much (think he'd been partying). He's built and beautiful.
 
Have also noticed that we have regular visitors now, maybe because Covid is relatively under control. They include AlexVolkov (https://rentmen.eu/AlexVolkovXXX) and Max Berg (https://rentmen.eu/Maxbergx). I'd do Max in a minute too. So, more reasons to like Chicago!, amidst the chaos!

A few thoughts as a current Chicagoan. First, if I were hiring now LeoFireXL would be top of list. He's either new here or visiting. Great pics, and interesting comments in the reviews. I'm enjoying this hobby vicariously through the experiences of others now, so would love to hear more about him. Keep us posted.
 
As for Chicago in general, yes we're going though a messy, scary time of change. But there are good things coming out of it, one of them being deepening camaraderie between activists for gay rights and the protestors against racism. Gay activists have been paving the way for social change here for 50+ years. Growing the Pride parade from a fringe group to a celebrated city holiday. Developing Boystown from a neighborhood where the Guardian Angels used to have to patrol to keep us from getting beat up on our way home from bars to a place where lots of people want to live now because its so interesting, prosperous and welcoming. The first black mayor, Harold Washington, who broke the political machine, wouldn't have gotten elected but for support from the gay community. And now our mayor is a tough as nails black lesbian & former prosecutor who, though she's made some mistakes, relentlessly stands up to the a**hole in the White House, has kept our Covid rate steadily down, and is uniquely able to navigate the tensions between police and protestors, both of whom she vocally supports. Plus a huge drag on this progress for gays in Chicago has been continued homophobia in the black community, so Mayor Lightfoot is just the right person for the messy times now IMHO.
 
Finally, about the Boystown name change -- one of Chicago's deepest, most entrenched problems is the continued segregation of our neighborhoods. It affects quality of schools, access to healthcare and food, risk of getting shot in the streets, even average lifespan overall. Boystown isn't just a gay ghetto anymore, its an economic engine in the city. So maybe the name change is a sign of progress? I just wish they 'd have come up with something more clever than "Northhalsted," which sounds like the least common denominator of some committee process. But the tagline is going to be "Chicago's Proudest Neighborhood" -- that I like and captures the current spirit of the place and the history of gay influence in the city I think.
 
Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming. Someone please hire LeoFireXL -- preferably as a bottom -- and let us know how it goes!!!

This thread prompted me to remember that I've been pursuing this hobby for almost 20 years. First time for me was late 2000. I had to be in Philly for my birthday, and my partner set up a date through Premier for me as a birthday gift. Hunky, sweet "Guido" type -- no disrespect intended -- hot, fun, naughty experience, but also a mindfuck. I remember performing poorly professionally the next day because I was so thrown out of my comfort zone and/or sense of reality by the experience the night before.

Let me help you understand the "leap": When there is no excuse proffered, however lame (my sister is dying, I broke my leg on the way over....) and the person is leading you on (I am just around the corner....be there in ten minutes...I am in the lobby) and then doesn't show up and ghosts you, it suggests significant animus/anger. So, the logical person says to himself, "did I do anything to cause offense? Did I insult or haggle or annoy?" So then you look through the correspondence for any spot where things could have been misinterpreted, and it all appears pretty straightforward: inquiry, agreement on services and price, agreement on location and time. Nothing to indicate that one of the parties is evidently angry enough to lie and manipulate the other. Even if the guy just changed his mind and didn't feel up to it, why the charade with the pending arrival? To me, this speaks of some form of emotional immaturity/instability, that may or may not be connected to substance abuse.
 
If you have a more plausible explanation, I am all ears. And I am happy to post the email chain from the most recent incident if it would help.

In making that comment I am trying to understand behavior that is disrespectful and causes distress. When he didn't show, my first thought was "OMG, something bad must have happened to him." That worry intensified when he didn't respond to two texts asking if he was OK. He was back online the next day so whatever happened he survived and made the decision not to return the texts of someone worried about him.
 
So I respectfully disagree -- there are not "tons of reasons" that explain treating people badly, more like three or four. In wondering why people do such things, I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt that it might be a behavioral health or substance use issue. Because the alternative is that he's a rude jerk or, just maybe, too ashamed of an isolated episode of disrespectful behavior to have the wherewithal to text an apology. Bottom line, It's not a "flying leap" at all to think there is something else going on with people who abruptly cut off all communication. At least, that's what I think.

OMG, tons of stuff on Adam. Took a lot of heat for being an assertively vocal conservative Republican. Hired him twice, first time was just great. Second time he watched the clock, just went through the motions. All of this was years ago.
 
More here from the Way Back Machine: https://m4m-forum.org/threads/adamadonis.107115/

I absolutely agree with what you stated.
 
Personally, I have given serious thought of pulling back from this forum. I won't make my grand exit and swear to never post again. LOL!!!
I'll post from time to time and answer questions from people if asked directly, but I think I won't volunteer info/opinion anymore after today.

Checking out Phoenix. Experience anyone?
 
https://rentmen.eu/Max_marciano/

aog... let me ask you, did your friend ever fall in love with a man? did he ever get jealous when he saw this other man talking with another guy? did his palms get sweaty, his heart race when the other guy approached him? did he ever date or marry another man? conversely did your friend ever fall in love with a woman? did he ever get jealous when he saw the other woman talking with another guy? did his palms get sweaty, his heart race when the woman approached him? did he ever date or marry a woman? this would be, imho, the true definition of bi sexual or bisexuality. if he put his pants on on a friday night, goes to a gay bar and pick up a hot young gay to fuck, then on saturday does the same thing in a straight bar to fuck a woman, he would be bisexed. if at the same time just dated women with emotional involvement towards them, then he would be a bisexed heterosexual. as ive stated, if he got paid to have sex with men and never did the "deed" or emotionally fell for another guy and his motivation was to get "paid to get laid", then he is a sexually functioning heterosexual. think straight men doing gay porn. i am seeing a boy toy now that totally fits this description. your statement above makes your friend, in my eyes, a bisexed heterosexual. He freely had sex with both men and women but his emotions and lifestyle were only tie to women.
 
i remember a few years ago talking to jaxton wheeler at an adonis party they had at share nightclub in las vegas. he said he never (up to that point) ever had sex with a guy outside of being paid in some way....porn shoot or escorting. and he is about as hot as there is in his scenes fucking the guys making it as real as possible. hell, you can even see he enjoys the sex. jaxton in my eyes is just a sexually functioning heterosexual.
 
does this all fit on the sexual scale of society? i sure think so. in fact i believe it clarifies and in many cases allows a guy to be more sexually "free thinking". he now doesnt have to put a stigma or negative connotation on re-labeling his sexuality. if he thought "what the hell im down to try something new at least once", feel at the end of the day when he put his pants back on that he is still heterosexual and not feel that now he has to embrace re-defining himself or his emotions (thats the big thing for breeders), then he would be much more inclined and aggressive to "try it out". i actually had two guys years ago, on separate occasions, say "lets go" after this exact discussion. many may disagree. many may say "this is too labeling. sex is just fluid". i feel on the contrary. we label everything in our lives. people understand labels. people are comfortable with labels. funny how the new term coined is "pan sexual". its just a round about way of not trying to label oneself. that i "love what or whom i want". thing is that "being pan sexual" is a label in itself! its trying to clarify "who we are".
 
just my observations of life and thoughts from years of asking questions.

Crap, I should have caught that reference! Too fun!

Muscle and bottom. Best combo

I saw him too. Very good experience. Previous discussion here: https://m4m-forum.org/threads/411-on-a-super-hott-latinon-in-dc.149693/#post-1822004

Nice! My first experience with an escort was a birthday present, probably the most unique one I ever received!!

I’ve encountered this frequently ?

I almost never share that I hire or pay strippers unless I have a rare friend or acquaintance that does as well. I've found the Gay "Community" to be far too judgmental and hypocritical when it comes to this subject. It does carry a stigma. Plus my father taught me "a gentleman shouldn't kiss and tells. private matters should stay private". So I tend to be discreet.

I talk about hiring only with you guys ?, escorts, and my partner (15 years together), who is very understanding ? and also hires occasionally, a lot less than I do, actually ??‍♂️
 
Although I am openly gay to family, friends, and co-workers, this hobby does carry a stigma and it is difficult to share.

I discuss hiring with one friend, someone I hung out with at the stripper boy bar; he also hires escorts and like me, has taken some of the boys from the bar home. I have another couple of good friends who wouldn't be shocked to hear it (one of them said once "I've paid for sex, and I've been paid for it"), but I think they'd let it slip to others, so I've never told them.

Thanks for that line! I think I will use it if anyone ever asks me directly (because it's true).

Very timely thread for me, here's why:
 
I share only here and with my husband, who gave me permission and encouragement to play when away in the olden days, i.e. until March 2020 when I traveled a lot for work. He's a wonderful man, whose attitude about this was basically, don't cheat on me where we live (Chicago), but go have fun when you're away, be safe, learn something new, bring it home and show me! Now I'm stranded at home, and really miss the thrill of new partners, or as my husband teasingly calls them, "brief sharing experiences." Lol, he's a wit.
 
Anyway, don't want to cheat but am pondering renegotiating the terms of engagement. Yet there's Covid, and my husband and I both work in healthcare, which means we're at enhanced risk for catching and spreading, and really shouldn't play with others now. And just to add spice to the stew, a former employee, who infiltrated my email 15 years ago when she realized I was going to fire her, found things there about this hobby of mine, and tried to use it as leverage in an employment discrimination case, which failed because, duh, I'm gay and never hit on her or, more precisely, never responded when she hit on me. She just raised her ugly head -- and by ugly, I mean chronically unhappy, probably alcoholic and arguably sociopathic -- and again threatened to expose my interest in this hobby! Not worried much about that because I work for myself, but all in all wondering if the universe is trying to tell me to retire, move with my husband to a country that's actually managing Covid risk, and have a lot of sex there while we still can get it up!!!
 
Bottom line, I could use some perspective from others, and maybe will get some here, lol?

Really enjoying this thread, and MidwestCoastal's post in particular. As a hardwired top, my pleasure as a client also is optimized "physically and mentally" when I can see that the provider is enjoying the experience. It can be tricky setting expectations with someone new over text. I totally agree that one should try, but there's variation in communication styles and comfort among providers about discussing specifics. I try to set the tone by texting the potential date to tell me what he really enjoys and what he really doesn't, because my goal is to make sure we both enjoy ourselves, and then see what he says. Another approach that has worked well for me, even though its old school, is to suggest an actual pre-meeting phone conversation. Another basic approach is just to reserve time at the beginning of a session to break the ice and get to know somebody a bit, exploring again what they like and what they don't. I usually text about an hour before the appt that I'm going to have a glass of wine when we meet and ask if I can order them something.
 
And then you just have to be resilient and play it by ear. One person who ended up being a great (and repeat) hire for me became worried by the specifics I was teeing up in our texts that I was law enforcement. Also, he didn't want to do a phone call, I think because his English language skills were very basic. For our first date, he asked that I meet him outside my hotel to check me out in person because of that concern. I did that, passed that test, and we chatted a bit upstairs too, but language was still a challenge. This guy is almost always hired as a top, and we just had to try things to figure out our own win/win. All that took time, and when we started to go over the planned time I reminded him of that. He grinned and said "yes, but we were much time talking, besides I'm not ready to go." Ding ding ding, mental payoff as well as physical lol!
 
When I look back, I honestly can say that I've learned a lot from these conversations about what my partner enjoys that has made me a better top. Plus, I'm with Midwest Coastal again in saying that I love talking about sex, and its totally interesting to me how what someone likes varies so much from man to man.

Say what now? Like how to create chemistry? Feel free to PM me, but overall I find there is one huge factor in getting 'sexual chemistry' - getting to know one another - physically and mentally.
 
I only tend to hire providers who, once we get through the basics and 'administrative' discussions, spend 10-30 text exchanges discussing what I like about sex. I also get more into a provider that can share openly 'what gets him off' because for me, as a sub bottom, pleasing a top gets me off mentally as well as physically. (Side note - I LOVE talking about sex, but find many providers don't, maybe because they think of it as a 'time waster'; totally valid point, but you may be losing out on a long term regular client.)
 
As a recent example, when getting fucked doggie or on my stomach, I've noticed a.... feeling.... that if I can zero in on, I may be able to shoot a load without touching myself..... A regular fuck bud and I have started exploring that. Its all about communication and setting up expectations.... If I get that feeling, I want to pursue it with focus, even it means the fucking only lasts 10 minutes.....but we also edge for 30 minutes before we start fucking. Again, we communicated.
 
Chemistry is not a mystery. Like any science, it just takes study, but that means investing time, and possibly money to pursue your desired areas of study!

Now in Chicago, with another new variation on his handle...
 
https://rentmen.eu/SexxySteven/#platinum

Very like my experience, which was 3 years ago. Seems like his modus operandi is still the same.
 

I agree that being an escort is probably hard. And the corollary is that guys who aren't able to deliver on what they think they can should maybe move on to a different business field.

There's been a lot of discussion here, quite mixed. Here's the most recent thread:
 
https://m4m-forum.org/threads/theguysteven.154119/#post-1936844