Good question! I can only speak for myself of course, but there are a few answers here. The first thing is I genuinely love meeting new people as well as sex and physical connection; that’s what drew me to the work in the first place. It’s a great learning experience to be meeting guys of many different backgrounds and lifestyles rather than just living in the bubble in which I might otherwise find myself. In terms of initiating contact, it helps that I’m an empath and within a few minutes can generally discern the type of person he is inside. Everyone in this world has beautiful and interesting parts to his character, so I look for that and connect with it. Most people despite their flaws are good people who mean well and are trying their best. We’re never the villains in our own stories. Once I figure out the lense through which someone views the world, I can understand his behavior, even when we’re very different people. I also think about the fact he likely works really hard for the money he’s spending and how everyone deserves to feel seen, understood, and appreciated—especially those of who reach out to me. They deserve connection and compassion much more than the rest of you who have not, obviously. In terms of physical performance, just the act of being tuned in to someone mentally usually gets me aroused, but of course there are a variety of pharmacologic tools from pills to injectables as fall backs. During the encounter, I can say that it’s very easy to enjoy myself with clients. Hooking up from some dating app can have me deep in my head and focused on my insecurities and what the other guy is thinking, etc, which can make it hard to relax and be present; however, when I’m with a client, there’s something very validating and liberating in the knowledge that he finds value in my company and selected me from a catalog of gorgeous men, and that sense of being chosen usually makes me feel even more connected and appreciative of what we’re able to provide each other. I don’t mean financial or physical but the mutual feeling of acceptance and validation.
I can’t think of times I’ve actually been appalled by a client except for when related to certain behaviors. For example very early on when I started, I had a client ask for a lower rate to simply use some toys on me with no sex, which seemed reasonable at the time; however, without kissing or foreplay he began penetrating me with a dildo in such a rough and dispassionate way, I eventually told him I was uncomfortable, and he didn’t have to pay me anything if we could please stop. He replied “you know we have the ability to rate you on RentMen, right?” I let the session continue to preserve my five-star rating, but that was the moment I stopped considering discounts or other variables and basing the rate strictly on my time. Aside from threatening comments like that or refusal to pay agreed rates after a long session, it would be hard for me to find a client appalling, especially based solely on appearance. We’re all much more similar than we are different.
Anyway, this is only my experience, but hopefully it gives some insight into how we try to quickly connect with a new client and still create a meaningful encounter.
