desertguy1954

Thank you to all of you showing empathy and humanity during this crisis. Definitely it is not time for judging and blacklisting anyone. Special thanks to @purplekow , who is not only fighting the novo-coronavirus in the trenches, but also coming here to show human empathy for everyone, and to confront the sex negativity of targeting only sex workers, when the people not following the guidelines for physical distancing are actually from all professional fields, and are doing it for many reasons besides fucking, like the good souls referenced before by [uSER=3916]@xafnndapp[/uSER] .
 
But talking about sex, this weekend closes my 4th week without hooking up. I am a slut and I am horny, and I may be weak and break my abstinence, but I am doing my best and so far successfully avoiding temptations. Shout out to me and to everyone who is working hard on doing the socially responsible thing.
 
If you are not following the isolation guidelines, I ask you please to reconsider whether you are a sex worker or not. If you are following the guidelines, and pointing and judging and labeling others because of their reaction to this specific crisis, I encourage you to review your attitude and your mindset.

To those who are hooking up, going to parties, attending religious services, attending celebrations, you may not believe you are going to get sick and if you are lucky you will not. However, someone will get sick and as shown in New Rochelle NY where more than 300 cases were linked to a single exposure, one person can cascade into dozens. Someone else will be caring for those people and some people may not get cared for because those reckless people increased the caseload.

Half of New Yorkers likely to get coronavirus, de Blasio says
03/25/2020
 

 
I'm posting that as an example of an apolitical success story.
 
A theme I've heard in lots of interviews with public health officials going back over a month is this: they know they have been successful when people accuse them of being hysterical, or flat out wrong. They make these projections to scare the shit out of the public. And to force the public to take imminent threats seriously. If it works, the imminent threat never materializes. At least not in the way people most feared.
 
When I first read that story on the 25th, I assumed the intention of public health officials was to scare the living shit of out of New Yorkers.
 
If that was the intention, it worked. You can now go back and look at the daily timeline of new cases. The typical timeline from infection to onset of symptoms is 4 to 7 days. Especially in this environment, I assume people are not rushing to emergency rooms the minute they start to sniffle. So it is too early to draw any conclusions. But there probably is some relationship between onset of symptoms, and testing positive.
 
So on March 25th there were 3,705 new cases in New York City, which was the peak so far. Five days later there were 2,369 new cases. There was a bump up the next day. But a week later there are 1,047 new cases. It is too early to tell. But hopefully it means that New Yorkers heard the warning, and heeded it.
 
I was grateful to the New York/New Jersey region after 9/11. In a sense, they took the hit for America (as did The Pentagon). They also set the tone for the response. The amount of grit and determination and community spirit was amazing. From the standpoint of body count, this is already way worse than 9/11.
 
I think New Yorkers are going to do that for America again. There are going to be other hot spots. Hopefully, none will be quite as horrific as New York. And, like in 1918, partly that is because America learned from what happened where the pandemic first struck.

I am a very passionate kisser, and a very voracious rimmer too. One of my favorite things is precisely deep kissing a guy I just avidly rimmed. Thinking that he is tasting his own ass in my mouth makes me very horny. Diff’rent strokes..

Woolworths is one of our two big supermarket chains.
[MEDIA=twitter]1244923425308594176[/MEDIA]

I don’t bottom very often....but I’d let that @Ace get Weird and Comical in me, virtually any day, WOOF. Have known him a decade- and honestly....that’s a household name of providers that should NEVER have to do a ‘show and tell’ just to get hired. The fact that he would; is because he knows he’d slam dunk any interview, any day. Guy steals the show EVERY year at Palm Springs from muscle guys, from power bottoms...he‘s just in a league of his own. There will never be another Ace!

This forum is going to be awfully quiet if you gentlemen choose to remain hard-headed. The inconsistencies in the news should be enough for one to stop hiring, tentatively. I couldn't forgive myself if I took a client to then find out he fell ill (and died) because I was asymptomatic. Or..if I was a client and a few days later was on a ventilator (or not, because they're running out) all because I just needed to get my rocks off. Imagine being that thirsty. It can wait. It's not the end. I just encourage everyone to take a time-out. Porn and a good lubricant are your friend. I don't trust my health in the hands of a client, regular or not.

So here's a piece of good news to savor while you are sheltering at home.
 
We are all escorts now. Every one of you gets to think just like the best escorts in the United States do. Congratulations!
 
I'm posting this partly in response to two things: the thread on whether escorts websites should voluntarily shut down, and the announcement of the cancellation of the Palm Springs pool party.
 
I don't want to weigh in directly on whether escort websites should voluntarily shut down. Other than to say that the question pretty much answers itself. I think we all know what the word voluntary means. It's a decision to be made by the people who run those websites.
 
The analogy of the restaurant on that thread was a good one. There are two decisions being made: one by the restaurant owner, and one by the customer. If customers don't come, restaurants won't stay open. That is what is happening to restaurants, cinemas, and escorts right now.
 
The AIDS analogy was a good one, too. @Benjamin_Nicholas didn't say it quite this way. But we didn't decide to permanently ban sex. In fact, even the hint of a suggestion that the problem was Gay sex caused a huge and very understandable negative reaction. It's very understandable that there would be a similar reaction when we're being told that going to a bar or going to a beach somehow causes a problem.
 
What we did do to contain AIDS is temporarily close bath houses, which later were safely reopened. We did massive public education about the need to change individual behavior until treatments or cures were found. That alone was arguably the single most important and effective thing to do. It probably saved millions of lives globally.
 
The key messages on AIDS are ones we all know. Use a rubber. Don't share needles. The fact that we all know these messages, and most of us practice them, is why they have been so successful. And why you are reading this, rather than in a grave. We can thank the scientists who figured it all out for that.
 
Having a sort of vaccine for AIDS also has changed the game. But that took a long time to develop. Hopefully it will take much less time to develop a vaccine for this virus. Until then, a lot of this comes down to individual responsibility. It's important to understand what keeps us safe, and observe those rules.
 
For that reason, we are all escorts now. For 18 years or so I lived with the knowledge that the next client I met could infect me with something nasty I didn't want to have, or share with others. Having sex with the wrong person in the wrong way could have killed me. COVID-19 means we are all escorts now. Thinking smart about this and acting responsibly as individuals is what is going to keep us alive. Any escort worth his reputation can tell you that.
 
Morals and money aligned perfectly. Even if I had no scruples about being sick and getting people sick, it was just not a very good business plan. The same applies to restaurants. Before this crisis, restaurants that had outbreaks of salmonella paid for their mistakes dearly, both in their reputation and their bottom line.
 
We're all now in the same situation. Forget about a kiss. The best knowledge on this virus is all it takes to infect someone you care about is to have dinner together.
 
There's another part of the escort ethic that applies. It basically just sucks. But it is particularly important right now, since we are not up to speed on testing and tracing yet. I hated having to call clients to say I had gonorrhea or scabies, and I might have infected them. But I did. And I also got a few calls from public health departments telling me that somebody unnamed had had sex with me and I should come get a test. That will be part of our future, if we want to beat this thing. Until the tracing protocols are set up, I know my plan. I plan to stay negative to COVID-19. And if I do turn positive, I'll tell anyone I think I likely exposed.
 
To be honest, I had a morally relative view of that. There were people I definitely called, because I'd had sex with them very recently. I knew that as much as it's a shitty call to get, they would hopefully end up appreciating the warning. The client that I met only once, and a week before I knew I had the clap, didn't get a call. I figured it was very unlikely I infected him. Maybe I rationalized, but I figured the cost of having him worry and have to get a shot he probably didn't need wasn't worth it. Once tracing protocols are set up, there will be clear recommended guidelines for this with COVID-19. Health professionals will follow them. For the time being, anyone unfortunate enough to be infected can choose whether to follow them voluntarily and inform the people you were close to.
 
So all the lessons we learned from AIDS, and all the best practices of the best escorts, apply to this situation. Getting out of this situation as quickly as possible, and as healthy as possible, depends on one thing more than any other: individuals making responsible decisions based on really good information. That's one very good reason why a website like this one is particularly important right now, actually. The bureaucratic jargon is "harm prevention". Escorts know a lot about living - and living well - in a "harm prevention" community.
 
That said, I think we now all realize that we need massive and pro-active government leadership. Back in the scariest days of AIDS it was government organizations like the CDC, or local health departments, that were hammering the public about the need to use rubbers, and not share needles. Right now we are being instructed by the same organizations, and in some cases the same leaders. We are being told to shelter at home, or not have gatherings of 10 or more, depending on where we live.
 
Dr. Fauci, who is my personal AIDS hero, has been very clear pretty much since this started that we all need to hunker down. The sooner we do that, the sooner we can unhunker, and focus on humping again.
 
These are the same people who told us to use rubbers and not share needles. They kept me alive as an escort. I'm counting on them to do it again.
 
Not to sound scary, but reports coming in from Italy suggest that a lot of people in their 30's are ending up in ICU units. Worse, they are getting the respirators that 70 year olds need as a matter of life and death. This virus could come in waves and mutate, just like the Spanish flu did. So it's not 100 % clear that the virus in Italy is exactly the same as the one that has been contained in China. Or that this is mostly a serious personal health risk for 70 year olds, but not 30 year olds.
 
For that reason, I applaud @Oliver's decision. I was observing the discussion happening there without commenting, since I didn't feel like it was any of my business. It is actually probably a good model for decision making. This is a once in a century crisis, hopefully. And it changes by the day. In the midst of that, informed and responsible people can mostly be counted on to make informed and responsible decisions, I think.
 
And speaking of Italy. They are proving that they are all escorts now, too. Buona salute, amico mio!
 

Why should they shut down? The information is out there and it is not just the escort who should make safe decisions. It is also clients that are looking and seeking services. The escort does though have the right to say at this time I am taking a break like everyone else. We are adults and should be able to make the right decisions.

Why should they shut down? The information is out there and it is not just the escort who should make safe decisions. It is also clients that are looking and seeking services. The escort does though have the right to say at this time I am taking a break like everyone else. We are adults and should be able to make the right decisions.

I think the shutting down of sites would just create MORE panic and confusion, as we feel that more things are being taken away. I still enjoy "windowshopping" on RM, even if I'm hesitating doing any hiring right now. (Also, I'm needing to think about very careful spending at the moment - trying not to spend on too many luxuries lol). I'd rather that the sites stay open, if only mainly as a way to have a feeling of online status quo. I'm not aware of any dating/meeting sites that have stopped either. I hope they don't.
 
Any site that closes will make it seem as if it's closing for good. Like when we lost Rentboy, the Craigslist personals, etc. That was for a different reason, but it will feel the same.

Why should they shut down? The information is out there and it is not just the escort who should make safe decisions. It is also clients that are looking and seeking services. The escort does though have the right to say at this time I am taking a break like everyone else. We are adults and should be able to make the right decisions.

Why should they shut down? The information is out there and it is not just the escort who should make safe decisions. It is also clients that are looking and seeking services. The escort does though have the right to say at this time I am taking a break like everyone else. We are adults and should be able to make the right decisions.

Did everyone see the pictures of American airports trying to screen people coming back from Europe? The airports were filled to capacity with people packed together like sardines. Do much for social distancing. This is insane!
 
Everyone is practicing social distancing here around Seattle. Not that hard since people here have been practicing social distancing for years. It's called the Seattle Chill.

This reminds me of a favorite quote...
 

There are several qualities that I want a top to have. Patience, at least at first, the ability to read my reactions and respond to them, imagination (I like variety in positions and rhythm), and stamina (I, ahem, like long sessions or more than one round). Size matters some but it's far more important that he knows what to do with it. And I prefer guys who get super hard.
 
I'm not interested in him being dominant, but if he's got what it takes and is making my eyes roll back, I go more or less into a trance so he'll be making the decisions from that point on.

I think it depends on the bottom. The top has to read that. For me I enjoy playing with a top as if he were a bottom but then having him turn the tables and make me the bottom and enjoy it. He certainly can please himself at the same time (in fact that is preferable) but that feeling of being overpowered is what I like.

I hope that you do meet him for coffee or a drink. You will find him to be a great guy. Even in just meeting him, you will have his full attention for you time together. I don't think you can go wrong.

First it's important that the client and escort communicate about any potential issues before the appointment. With that said it's my job as an escort to make sure the client enjoys his time. If he wants to top me then making that happen is important. I have had customers that are really big and the way I handle it is 1)lots of lube, 2)control the situation and by that I mean if there is an easier way for me to bottom for someone bigger then I'll let them know the position (typically I like missionary so I he or I can stroke some while he is inside me). If anything is hurting or he is going to fast I will communicate and make sure he is aware. Some guys go in to fast and taking it slow is key with bigger guys.
 
Overall controlling the situation is key and communication,
 
Keenan

Perfect message....
"Hi, saw your ad on RM. I am into (xyz) and am available to meet up (state when you are looking/availability). I am in (general location) and able to (whether you can host travel or both).
If this sounds like a good fit for you, let me know your rates for (length of time you are looking for).
Love your ad and looking forward to hopefully meeting you!"

Just wanted to add an update to this post. ACE, me and 2 others are going on the RSVP cruise in just a few days. I have been blown away by how much ACE (Las Vegas/Palm Springs) knows about what happens on a "gay" cruise. We did the Atlantis Med Cruise in 2009 so it been awhile since I have been on one. He has been on "top" of everything: dinner reservations, shore excursions, party costumes and everything in between. I am very lucky to have ACE as my escort and my friends are as well for he doesn't exclude anyone in the planning stage. It has been a pleasure and privlage to plan this vacation with a true professional!! I let you know what a fabulous time we had after we get back.

If someone charges 250 for an hour and I've had a really good time, I usually leave 300, which is what I've imposed on myself as a threshold for hiring (of course, there are exceptions). If I hire someone at 300 and I've had an exceptionally good time, I leave 350.

Agree 100%. When "not clicking" occurs, I do not give a negative review. It doesn't feel fair to negatively rate a guy because there was no chemistry.

I would say to NOT force taking it if it hurts! While we as gay men think of our anus as a sex organ it was not designed for that so you possibly risk serious injury. I tried bottoming for a while, no luck and gave up. A couple of years later, decided I wanted to try again, so hired Mike Austin in Chicago. While hung like a horse, I decided to go for it as 1.) he was highly rated as a provider so I knew he had great skills/knowledge so comforting for a beginner and 2.) Hung so had to learn how to work with bottoms. I told him it was my first time and he got me well prepared and watched me the entire time. Painless and pleasurable. Sorry if TMI, but what I am trying to convey is that a good hung top will work with you to make sure it is pleasant and if not, wait until you've worked your way up with hung providers who will help first.

I'll take Dane any time I can.
Yes, 53 and prime! Experienced, very easy on the eyes - all parts of him, wonderful conversation and can talk as dirty as anyone - if you want.
If anyone has a chance to spend an hour, a day, a weekend with Dane, grab it and run.
Of course, this is just MY opinion.
 
TB is another diamond not to be overlooked. Believe me, I could NOT call him DADDY if my life depended on it. Sonny maybe! He has all the right credentials to fit what is needed.
 
Lance Navarro is another to consider - a true lover. Everything that's needed for an hour (way too short), a day, a weekend, a week. Leathers AND a motorcycle to boot.