DMonDude

I don't do the thing of giving a friend the identity/address of who I'm seeing and where I'm going, but i absolutely should and would if i could. I just don't have anyone I can give the "if i don't text you by the morning, call the police" responsibility to that also wouldn't ask a million questions as to why and what precisely I'm doing, and i have no intention of telling anyone in my life about this hobby of mine. Like others have said though, I always meet providers at a hotel in the lobby and then bring them up to my room/go with them up to their room. Or i go to their apartment, i definitely have less control and am taking more risk in that scenario and i don't really have any risk mitigation for that. A hotel and meeting in the lobby is the next best thing i can think to do for in person vetting. I also usually stay at hotels where the lobby is fairly populated and well lit. I have no issues about being seen meeting a provider in the lobby, no one around knows what we're going to do or how i know them, so that's not something i worry about. So it ends up being a nice mostly neutral place to meet them at where if something feels off, enough people are around i know that they aren't going to try anything and i can say "actually something's not right, no you can't come up to the room, sorry" if i need to (have never needed to do that though).

With how much more common it is for some of us to do business via CashApp/Venmo and particularly Zelle, which requires your real name and is not screen name based, now. I tend to know an escorts real name, and they mine, right from the first meeting. But we almost never actually call each other by our real names. I usually offer them calling me by my nickname (John instead of Johnathon for example) and i tend to stick with whatever their escort name is. Some of the guys use their real name or a variation of their real name as their escort name though. I've noticed a lot of guys use their middle name as their escort first name. Some of the guys we kinda just stick to calling each other man/dude/bro and not really use names, kinda just happens naturally, we never make that a rule or anything.

This guy is based in NYC but he travels a good amount and I've seen him a couple times when he comes to my city. BenjaminMilliano - Male Escort, Gay massage - New York City | Rent.Men RENT.MEN BenjaminMilliano Gay Escort in New York City, New York, available for Modeling,Erotic Massage,Bodywork. | Find all the best Male Escorts at Rent.Men

@mike carey@MikeBiDude@Kevin Slater whoever else. Might as well just go ahead and lock the thread now.

You are so fucking obtuse about literally everything. Jesus christ.

Intense making out is not assault. If you are choosing to take it that way, that's you choosing to take that on yourself. Many here are very vocal about how much they require making out as part of service and have specifically said deep tongue and such. If that's part of the service they like to order, then that's not assault. I simply was clarifying that this guy doesn't do that. Again, if you read that as you being accused of assault, take that up with yourself dude. I didn't say that or put that on you.

When the fuck did i say that?

He does kiss but not make out though, which is a dealbreaker for some. Wasn't an issue for me personally, but if you want to jam your tongue down his throat on the first meet, then correct yeah that's not something he offers.

If anyone still "doesn't get" pup play, from my understanding based on what my friend who is into it told me. It's a gear thing of course, but it basically is just dom/sub play but specifically owner/pet themed. So one guy is the owner and the other guy in the pup mask is obviously the pup. It's about obedience, care giving, teaching the pup "tricks", praise kink play (sexualizing being a "good boy" and Pavlovian training), etc. The pup play community has a lot of crossover with the Furry community (which isn't always kink/sex focused).

I've learned over the course of doing this it's incredibly common to book multiple providers for 4 hand, 6 hand, or other group play. It's likely not a new request for them. Doesn't hurt to ask. The worst they can say is "no i don't do that".

Echoing what most others have said. Pro shot photos are fine, they don't detract from the profile, but yeah always still have some normal life selfies/photos too. Pro shot photos imply you take the work and other related work like modeling or porn or OnlyFans seriously but it's the normal life selfies/candid photos that are more what i use to get a sense of your vibe and true in person looks since most pro shot photoshoots are usually heavily airbrushed and edited and the model did 20 push ups/sit ups right before the photo was taken lol. Pro shot photos definitely are more attention grabbing for the main profile photo thumbnail though.

There was a best providers of 2025 thread a week or two ago and one of the provider profiles recommended there listed Cuddle Therapy. I've not tried him yet myself though. https://rentmasseur.com/MikeCMT

It definitely sucks he didn't do everything he said on the phone, but i personally wouldn't let that stop you from doing this. That'd be like trying a new restaurant and after not liking that places food or having a bad waiter, you swear off eating entirely. It's a bit of an overreaction. Sure, don't go back to that restaurant, but there are plenty of other restaurants that are good. As evidenced by your own prior experiences. This hobby, and anything really, has good and bad in it and is never perfect. So every now and then you're going to find a dud. It's kind of part of the game unfortunately.

Unless you're paying them to be your texting buddy, you're expecting too much in my opinion. The full experience to my knowledge has never included initial meetup setup texting. And they are not worried about missing out on your high roller experience. They have plenty of other clients. No one client is gods gift to providers. Also, you messaging dozens of providers yourself is not the same because your time looking for someone to hire isn't your money, the way their time fielding clients is their money.

I've seen it mentioned here that the app Mr Number is one of the apps/sites they use to review customers. General consensus I've seen here though is that they generally don't give us full reviews or even talk about us that much, other than "this guy is not safe/won't pay" type stuff. Just red alert level stuff to keep each other safe from potential dangerous situations.

From my understanding, that setting is exclusive to profile views. Private gallery requests always still send a notification i think.

Nah, definitely not part of the interest. Not for me at least. Tattoos are art pieces to admire. Tattoos aren't scary, long as you aren't subconsciously associating them with being something only gang members get. This is one of my favorite tatted guys though (DarrenJakke on Instagram):

Agreed! In addition to that, i even like it on young guys, it gives them a certain added manliness and it gives them another thing on themselves to take care of and make stylistic choices with that help determine my attraction to them. I just like the way facial hair adds shape and texture to a face. It's a positive and negative space thing for me. Like having a painting of a landscape and the sky is blue with no clouds. You add a couple clouds in to break up the monotony of all that blue and it's more pleasing to my eye. Facial hair does that to the male face for me. I'm personally pretty picky with clean shaven/smooth faced guys 😆

I've been in this scenario before. I basically was just very upfront and direct about what i wanted, what i wanted to try, roughly how much i wanted to be pushed past my limit, and things i knew were absolutely off limits. That way they know your baseline, where you want to go, that they know they're allowed to push a little past that, but know where the hard line is and to absolutely cannot cross it under any circumstance till you explicitly say otherwise. This lets you feel safe to dip your toe into discomfort to find pleasure, but not be so scared of falling into the deep end before you know how to swim that you don't even stick your toe in the pool.

All that makes total sense to me for when you're looking for where a provider has been as well as for just noticing when there may be a provider you have anecdotes to share on an existing thread. But i thought the main point of the city in title request and most of the debate in thread was more specifically for people looking for info on providers currently in their city to hire in the present and very near future. That's the only time when not having the city in title at all or having incorrect city in title is the biggest issue really. Any provider could be anywhere in a distant enough future, so that's not really what i thought we were talking about here.

It's not really a negative view of the escort, it's just a principle i have in general. I don't deal with people who do things like that in any kind of business or personal relationships. Whatever they have to offer isn't worth the feeling of feeling conned or the feeling that i can't trust them. Active trickery isn't the same as a situation simply just not living up to the hype. With the added information though. If the providers ad was on an old outdated site they don't update/didn't have access to anymore, then yeah that's a somewhat different story. Though, if when you contacted him and you said something like "hey i found you on (insert old website that predates RentBoy here)" and he didn't then tell you "oh cool, those photos are super old though and i don't look like that anymore" and didn't ask if you're ok with not knowing what he currently looked like. Then, he did indeed knowingly catfish you (and it's fine if you're forgiving of that, but you shouldn't wave away that it happened if that's what he did). Making the best of it doesn't make it ok.

You're more tolerant than i. Glad he ended up becoming a friend of yours and you had a good time with him. But to me personally, someone actively catfishing you is not the same as beer goggles or what the escorts do when they engage with a client they aren't attracted to. I personally can never go through with hookups/meets with guys who use fake/decades old photos because it rewards the behavior of active/purposeful deceit. Being drunk and hooking up with someone you usually wouldn't when sober is still a choice you made on your own seeing them as they were in that moment. Your judgement of them may be off due to being drunk but it's still your own judgement of an approximation of what they actually look like in person. An escort is doing so as well to an extent because they are being compensated. The client isn't tricking the escort or being misleading about their looks, the client pays partially so that that their looks don't have to be a deciding factor and the escort is agreeing to that deal. Someone using fake or highly inaccurate photos to get you to a location to engage with them under pre-meditated false pretense is a very very different thing. It would destroy any sense of trust or safety i would need with that person to engage in the encounter with them because to me if they weren't who they say they are than it's that much more likely that their motivations for being there may not be what they said either, which would create the feeling of being in danger. The worst that could happen is not just bad sex. To me, someone who feels the need to deceive in that way is likely to be there to cause me some sort of physical harm. So that's just a situation i couldn't go through with personally.

Especially do not set up a meet with him via text and "surprise" him with it being you in person. That would be incredibly creepy. Despite your intent for it to not be tricking him, that's exactly what that would be and would be very very weird for you to do. What @savantsav suggested isn't a bad idea and is the only way i think it'd be ok to reach out again (otherwise i'd say yeah just move on). But i do think if you do it you need to be upfront in the initial text. Remind him who you are and what happened, apologize, and suggest you'd like to continue to hire him but that if you do have to cancel last minute (because stuff happens sometimes) you will give a deposit/cancellation fee. Then the ball is in his court to ignore or accept.

Weren't you the one who suggested people could just be thoughtful 🤔. That goes both ways, and now is not coming from your way. It's absolutely relevant. You just are being obtuse because @DFdub pointed out that even some of your own Deli posts have, what is now, the incorrect city in the title. Having an incorrect city in the title makes the post title just as useless to CoM browsers with your use case for browsing as the city not being there in the title at all is. You're ignoring the fact that even other people who use the forum the way you do may be annoyed by finding a provider post that even if only a few days or weeks old but is still on the front page of the Deli would show what would now be an incorrect location for that provider. Causing them the same annoyance that posts that have no city title cause you.

It's not really about being thoughtful and even if it was, banking on people's thoughtfulness isn't a solution. People forget. Sometimes new people join and just don't know. Sometimes people make a post without doing a scan of what's already here. Many who use RM/CoM in the way where the city in the title doesn't benefit them will generally make posts without it in the title because the thought literally doesn't even occur to them to put it. You can't really be thoughtful about something that never crossed your mind as a thought to begin with if it has no logical relation to what you're doing. Before this thread popped back up, i never thought to make posts with the city in the title because with the way i use these sites it wasn't needed because i always already knew the city the provider was in from RM, and i and others who use the forum that way thought that's what everyone else was also doing too. Now that we know that's not the case from this thread, i would put the city in title moving forward for you all, but others still may not for the reasons I've said. Even with this thread still being on the front page of the Deli, new threads have popped up that don't have the city in the title. Which is why i suggested the possible solutions i have, they are what would actually work (other than people just changing how they use the forum so they come here already knowing a provider of interests location) knowing that the honor system and thoughtfulness isn't enough. Albeit not being very efficient because like you pointed out, no one here actually wants or has the time to be the post title police. And mods understandably don't seem to want to make city in title be a true requirement because that puts extra work of removing posts without it on their plate. Not really sure what other options there are.