Wings246

I first started hiring just over a year ago. It was something i had been thinking about for a while but never went through with. During the first week of November 2024 I was over stressed, over worked, under sexed, and wanted to treat myself to something nice. I dove into the deep end and hired 3 guys for a 6 hand massage for my very first hire. I didn't know about this forum or know anyone to ask how this worked at the time, so i was truly going in fully blind. I was terrified walking up to the AirBnB thinking "I'm either going to have the best time ever or this is fake and I'm about to get arrested/kidnapped/killed", luckily it was the former! I went a little crazy with it and saw those 3 guys 2 more times that same week before they left town 😆.

The gays all think 7 inches is average  while in reality, most men aren't bigger than 5" to 6" erect. So I would say socialigically, when shopping around the gay hookup sites and escort apps youre gonna have many guys afraid to say they are less than 7 inches.
I find that many, many men list 8 inches on their profile yet I upon meeting them, the question comes to mind...8 inches from WHERE ? Your asshole to the tip ? 🤔

It’s called a “starter dick” for those new to bottoming. 

Not to make light of the situation, but remember the Simon and Garfunkel song - 50 ways to leave your lover.  
 
In seriousness though, sounds like you may have caught some feelings here.  It happens, but remember this isn’t a reciprocal relationship.  It sucks, but you are ascribing more to the arrangement than is actually there.  You want to take the high road on this - “hey, it’s been fun. It’s best for us to take a break, and reset.”  
 
You can be respectful, but you have to be honest with yourself first. This sounds like you were trying to make a BFE into an actual arrangement. That’s a separate but adjacent world. You may have gotten lucky by finding an escort who values his independence more so than manipulating a steady income stream.  

I usually find the masseur’s hot cock in my hand does the trick. 

Thanks again everyone I'll let you know how I get on in January. I'll be going to Berlin and Alicante and somewhere in-between. It's gonna be a trip alone for my 40th birthday to kind of find myself lol cheesy I know xxx

Some care and some don't. I always give my age, height and weight so they aren't surprised. Do that and you should be fine.

I don't really feel strongly about that, only when it feels out of context, or the tone/intent feels demeaning or insulting. I've been called darling, champ, sir, daddy, son, bro, buddy, sweetie, big boy, sexy thing, my cute little meatball, papi, handsome, bitch, stud, mother fucker, hunk, sugar, pimp and much more. Never ended a relationship over any of it, again, unless it's meant to hurt of demean.

I don't think there's been a more widely covered topic here, but it's a hot one!   So I feel like it's worth re-weighing in.
Reasons I will never ask a client for a photo:
At no point do I ever want him to feel up for evaluation.  Like it or not, just like on any other app, this is the headspace you create when you send a photo.  You're an anonymous faceless person, then you send a photo revealing your face, then you wait for approval.  Yes, you're attractive enough to meet, or not you're not.  By that point you've already spiraled:  Is my provider into me?  Am I attractive enough for him?  You're already in that self-conscious worried headspace. This is exactly what you're meant to avoid when hiring a sex worker.  Discretion is one of the sacred promises of sex work.  If a prospective client doesn't want to put a photo of himself out into the world in a looking-for-sex context, that's what he's paying for.  That's his prerogative.  Is it that risky to send face photos to providers?  Probably not.  But that's the client's call.  He gets to decide what discretion means to him. Of course, lots of men who hire prefer to share photos in advance.  They want all parties to know who and what to expect, and that also makes complete sense.   But as the client, that's their choice to make.  For my own personal safety concerns, I require a cell phone number to meet, not a photo.  A phone number adds a level of safety for me.  A photo does not. 
All that said, I get why providers ask for photos.  Meeting a new client for the first time is always a source of at least some anxiety.  The services we provide are extraordinarily intimate, and you really never know who's going to open that door when you knock on it.  In fact, I had that moment just this weekend with a new client.  Sitting in a hotel lobby waiting for him, no idea his age, race, body type.  It can indeed be an unsettling moment!  But when you're a provider with a certain minimal level of experience, you know you can work with any age, race, or body type, and none of it truly matters.  
Everyone is entitled to ask for what they need to get the job done.  But pay attention to the ask!  It can be a larger indicator about the provider you're hiring.  

I totally agree.  The finale, as well as the entire series, is decent.  It is a bit too "positive" and politically correct for my taste though.  There are too many heart-warming and feel-good closures, so much so that I don't even know how the writer can continue with a season 2.  Did I miss something?  Are there any cliffhangers or loose ends?  Regardless, I'll probably watch S2 when it's released, which will likely be in 2026 or 2027.  Like I said previously, despite my encouragements, many of my friends drop off after the first few episodes, all complaining that the story is too slow and too quiet.  Nowadays, viewers need to be sucked in right from the get-go; otherwise, they'll move on to other options since there are so, so, so many alternatives on the streaming market.  I hope S2 won't repeat the same pitfalls.  I'll give the series a B/B+ rating overall.

I am fully aware that my I-don’t-know response is childish, unproductive, and toxic.  Thank you to @purplekow, @Simon Suraci, and @jackcali for your suggestions.  I will keep them in mind and be a more responsible person in the future.
Ironically though, it seems like all of the providers that I have met understand me way better than I understand myself.  They can deliver & perform miraculously without any explicit directions from me.  Regardless, I do see why I need to be more vocal.  Some of the ideas in this thread, albeit wild, are rather tantalizing.

I am fully aware that my I-don’t-know response is childish, unproductive, and toxic.  Thank you to @purplekow, @Simon Suraci, and @jackcali for your suggestions.  I will keep them in mind and be a more responsible person in the future.
Ironically though, it seems like all of the providers that I have met understand me way better than I understand myself.  They can deliver & perform miraculously without any explicit directions from me.  Regardless, I do see why I need to be more vocal.  Some of the ideas in this thread, albeit wild, are rather tantalizing.

I totally agree.  The finale, as well as the entire series, is decent.  It is a bit too "positive" and politically correct for my taste though.  There are too many heart-warming and feel-good closures, so much so that I don't even know how the writer can continue with a season 2.  Did I miss something?  Are there any cliffhangers or loose ends?  Regardless, I'll probably watch S2 when it's released, which will likely be in 2026 or 2027.  Like I said previously, despite my encouragements, many of my friends drop off after the first few episodes, all complaining that the story is too slow and too quiet.  Nowadays, viewers need to be sucked in right from the get-go; otherwise, they'll move on to other options since there are so, so, so many alternatives on the streaming market.  I hope S2 won't repeat the same pitfalls.  I'll give the series a B/B+ rating overall.

Nothing earth shattering about the finale but it was satisfying enough.

I am fully aware that my I-don’t-know response is childish, unproductive, and toxic.  Thank you to @purplekow, @Simon Suraci, and @jackcali for your suggestions.  I will keep them in mind and be a more responsible person in the future.
Ironically though, it seems like all of the providers that I have met understand me way better than I understand myself.  They can deliver & perform miraculously without any explicit directions from me.  Regardless, I do see why I need to be more vocal.  Some of the ideas in this thread, albeit wild, are rather tantalizing.

Absolutely!  I may be old-school, but that initial reply builds the foundation of first impression.  You probably won't be rude to the hiring manager or recruiter who contacts you to set up an appointment for a job interview, or will you?

I want you all here to know you can ask ME for anything. I won’t judge you.
I can 99% of the time spot the difference between a guy wanting to sext for free and a client simply asking respectfully for his specific needs and interests. Most of you here are in the latter camp.
This is part of the fun and benefit to hiring:
1) get exactly what you want, no fuss
2) explore things without judgement
3) discover new and exciting interests
4) feel safe, honest, open, and free
For those of you who don’t know what you want (or are too uncomfortable to ask), maybe ask the provider to try things and feel it out, go with the flow. But don’t have any expectations for your provider to be ready to bottom. That’s one of my pet peeves: a client that won’t tell me he wants to top until after the fact and I have to say no because I am not ready for it. But had he asked ahead, I could have accommodated him.
Likewise, who knows if he is ready to top when you’re only hiring massage but then requesting full service in the moment (for his appropriate fee) only to discover he just had multiple clients paying him to cum and he is not in a position to offer you optimal top service. Consider things like that. You may luck out, but asking for things ahead helps us make sure we can do what you want us to do. We can’t read minds, and we don’t want to disappoint you.
Similar commentary regarding other practical matters for requests taking more time, materials, preparation, gear, or setup to fulfill. Think about what your provider needs to know to fulfill your desires and ask for it ahead.
@Jamie21 this is so hot. I take a similar approach with some of my clients I sense want to go to these kinds of places with me. A positive reaction to a light spank, for instance, may be all I need to proceed.

What you want to do may change from visit to visit.  I think if you can't answer that question, you can probably answer what you do not want to do.  That will at least give the escort some guidance.  I do not want to bottom/ top.   I do not want scat or urine or a lot of pain.  I am not into leather.  That will give him some idea.  But I am sure you can think of some things you like:  kissing?  sexy underwear? nipple play?  having him show off?  Those are just examples which will help things go along.  And at that point you can add that you are open to other things as they arise and that you will let him know what is working for you and you hope he does the same.  
So essentially:  Baseline nos.  Baseline yeses.  Flexibility.  Willingness to try new things.    
It is unfair to expect the escort to guess what is going to work for you as he has lots of clients with lots of different preferences.  He will be much more relaxed if you give him some general directions and show that you are willing to try other things.  You may not realize that there are somethings you like which you wouldn't have thought to be the case.  
BTW, I like to ask the escort while we are together something like:  Where would you like me to put my mouth?   Would you like it if I pull your hair while we are kissing or if I  slap your ass?  

I typically craft my initial reply to address everything in the client’s initial text that I can answer. I usually start by pasting a stock response and then modifying to personalize, answering anything else the client brought up. How we reply definitely matters and I believe makes a difference in my business.
I try to answer the what, where, when, and how much questions so the client has all the basic information to make a decision. I also make an effort to be friendly, but this doesn’t always translate easily in text form. Tone varies, but I avoid mirroring the gruff, sometimes rude messages I receive. I try not to take it personally.
By putting in a lot of effort responding thoughtfully to tons of messages that never go anywhere, I pick up the good clients along the way and keep them as reliable regulars requiring less maintenance. The bad ones drop off once they make themselves known. It takes work up front, including lots of annoying exchanges and dealing with rude people. However, I will never win those good clients over if I just reply with a rate. It’s like mining for gold. Lots of long, patient sediment sifting. I can’t complain to the gold flecks about all the dirt I had to pan out to find them. Every once in a while I even find a nugget.
It’s work doing the work, but it’s also work getting the work. When you do enough of both, your schedule fills up and you reap the rewards. The strategy I like best is to make yourself so busy with good regulars that you don’t have to deal with the bad apples. They can’t occupy space in your schedule or your mind! It takes years of patience to get there.
People on these forums are, on average, better clients than who we deal with on a daily basis. Anyone spending time asking questions about the best way to craft a message to a provider is going to be levels of magnitude better to work with than the guys we sometimes complain about.
Providers mention the rude, unserious, flaky, or people outright taking advantage of us all the time, but most of you here are not those people. It’s unfortunate you have to be the recipients of so much disdain when you represent fewer of the reasons for us feeling our frustrations. You are here reading and listening when the people that most need to hear it would never take the time nor give the bandwidth to hear it out, much less take it to heart.
The times I post about bad actor clients I relent later, thinking this is the wrong audience. With few exceptions, my COM clients are great men. I’m sorry you guys have to bear the brunt of so many providers venting about things a lot of you here you either don’t do, or correct when you learn from collective wisdom here how to better conduct yourselves. Thank you for being the best clients.

Yes, twice.
First, I sought the services of a provider after my college boyfriend committed suicide. I lost my virginity to this provider. He knew it was my first time but didn’t know the story about my boyfriend. I can’t overstate how amazing this man was and the gift he gave me. Of course, I “fell in love” with him, thinking this older man was the solution to all my problems. I wanted to see him again, but he had the wherewithal and wisdom to say no. Instead, he gave me the greatest thing he could have ever given me—his friendship. Not just as an acquaintance, but a real, true friendship. This man helped me in ways I can’t describe, taught me things, and truly cared for me. He was right.
The second time was with a provider who quickly became a regular. It started as a comedy of errors—wrong hotel, giggles during sex, missed cues, shared laughs, and unexpected common interests. From the moment he walked in, this man made me feel at ease in seconds. He was insanely charming, funny, kind, and smart. Our sessions always went over—2 hours turned into several, several turned into overnights. He always looked uncomfortable taking my money. I’d leave it in an envelope on the stand, and he’d leave without taking it. I’d run out to hand it to him. Many times, he denied his fee, which left me feeling at odds and completely confused. When he refused his fee, I insisted it was his tip. I never had this problem before and wasn’t sure how to handle it.
One day, almost a year in and countless, deep conversations and personal stories later, he asked if I wanted to see a movie or have dinner if I wasn’t busy. I looked at him stunned. When I didn’t respond, he rattled off in his very funny, yet serious way other alternatives if I didn’t want to do that, like go on a museum tour, hop on the Staten Island Ferry and view the Statue of Liberty, or get a caricature drawing in Central Park. I laughed. I should have taken that opening to really understand what this was, but when he then said, “Let’s go, it’ll be fun. We’ll go as friends,” I thought, okay, friends. I said yes.
We ended up doing the caricature drawing in Central Park, followed by dinner. We went back to his apartment. We had sex, and when I say it was different, it was so different. When it was over, he looked at me. My heart was pounding. I knew in that moment I was in love with this man, but I didn’t say it out loud. I couldn’t speak. He didn’t say anything either. He just rested his forehead against mine, and we held each other in silence.
After that night, I made the fatal error once more of not speaking to him and asking what this was and expressing to him how I felt. Instead, I said my firm was having a summer retreat, and I’d like to bring him as my plus one. And that I’d pay him. He said I didn’t have to pay him, but I insisted. He agreed.
We went. It was the usual, obnoxious affair. Everyone was more interested in him than anything else. He was amazing. Charming as fuck. We separated a few times. I got pulled into different directions. He kept his eyes glued to me the entire time. I walked back up to him and said something I wish I could take back. I realized it the moment the words came out of my mouth. I said, “You fit right in. I knew you would. A lot of money to be made here. See anyone that catches your eye?”
He turned and looked at me like I punched him in the face. He was silent for a long time. He said, “Yeah, a few.”
When we got back to the hotel, I immediately apologized and said I never meant to hurt him. He was a proud man, deeply proud—his family had instilled that in him. His pride wasn’t just about self-respect—it was about being someone you could count on, someone who stood tall. I had wounded that pride, and I could see it in the way he held himself in that moment. I insulted him. And I hurt him. 
He said for someone so smart, I could be incredibly clueless. I apologized again. I told him I didn’t understand what was happening and didn’t want to lose this. He grabbed his bag, left the envelope I had given him on the bed, and right before he left, I’ll never forget it - he looked me in the eye and said: “I lied. There was one. Only one.”
Many lessons were drawn from that experience—about myself, my almost methodical business stance on these transactions.

I'll have to agree that was quite a bonkers scene. 

It's YOUR job to make it sexy, not for the clients to make it sexy for you.  Getting into the mind frame to make it sexy is what separates the men from the boys. 
 
This is your choice. One of the joys for me about sex work is that I get to set my schedule. This has to be balanced with saying No to clients who want to see me at 2am.  You can set out 'open hours' like any other service does - we cannot be available 24hrs a day 7 days a week. We all need to make the choice at times - would we prefer see the client, or would we prefer 'getting things done'?  
But if you want to make money, and you want to be busy, you must be flexible and have an understanding that YOUR schedule needs flexibility to ensure you can get as many bookings as possible.  
Welcome back to the forum - yes you are. But the way you have been writing in this new profile is a sign that you are doing better with these challenges.
It's true that there are a lot of guys out there that use Rentmen profiles to jerk off to and use us as 'interactive porn'. Some of the clients here on this site for eg, rate, reach out, comment about us, look up and critique our profiles when they have not hired for YEARS and have no intention in doing so. Lots of people will contact you with no intention to meet up and get off on just the thought of it. 
But there are also a lot of people who reach out with intention but also trepidation, and if your sales and marketing skills or bedside manner is not accommodating enough- you wont land the sale.  It's a tough balance to weigh up being open enough for these people and closed enough for the tire kickers who are jerking us around to not drain you. 

There's a lot of truth to this. Now that we're in our 50s, my husband and I can't go on the apps without being besieged by guys in their 20s. For the most part, we're not into guys in their 20s. They tend to be flighty, unskilled in sex, emotionally immature, and often - especially providers - far more enamored with their appearance than is warranted. 
I agree with those who say providers listing "Daddies" as part of their "Into" is clever marketing. That said, "Daddies" are a subgroup within the gay sexual marketplace like "twinks," "muscle guys," "bears," or "otters." In my experience, it's somewhat less about age and more about a combination of aesthetics and personality. 
I have always been attracted to older men; even now I see men in their 60s and 70s who are really attractive. 

Season 3.  That NameGame dance with Jessica Lange, wow.

From a provider’s perspective, listing “daddy” as his “into” is a smart marketing strategy because it can easily be assumed that most clients are middle-aged to advance-aged (therefore, daddies).  So he’s preaching to the right audience by saying that he’s interested in the right targets.  Plus, common logic dictates that daddies usually fall into the “wealthier” category.  Whether or not wealthier people are more generous is never a guarantee, but I bet it doesn’t hurt to appeal to those who tend to have more $$$.
From a client’s perspective (I can only speak for myself), I do have a penchant for daddies as well — daddies not necessarily in terms of age, but mental and emotional maturity.  I have always been drawn to boys/men who are slightly older than me ever since I was a child.  Although some may consider me a daddy (age-wise), I crave for that feeling of security and protection — that I can let go of everything, drop the pretense and façade, unleash my inner child, and depend on that other person to take care of me, if just for a few moments in my life.  Contrary to common (mis)assumptions, I don’t have daddy issues. In fact, my late father was a very loving, caring figure who had never been absent from my life.  Thus, Freudian theories probably won’t be able to explain my personal desires.