ApexNomad

Absolutely!

At the end of the day, if you’re comfortable paying out and settling for that, that’s your choice. But from the outside looking in, you deserve a lot more for what you’re putting in. Gratitude and attentiveness don’t cost a dime, and they should never feel like too much to expect. The provider sounds very careful with his words, apologetic on the surface, but always spinning it just enough so the blame shifts back to you “adjusting your expectations” instead of him stepping up. That’s not appreciation, that’s deflection. You’re a top paying client at this point! Not a 2 hour appointment. This is a different level. I’ve done many of these to know. For the level of generosity you showed: business class flights, a Beverly Hills suite, and top dollar rates, the bare minimum should’ve been making you feel valued from start to finish with no excuses. I don’t know what you communicated beyond what you’ve shared here, but honestly, the whole exchange feels off. If you felt that high connection in New York, I understand wanting to chase it, but looking at what you invested versus what you got back, it’s clear he’s the one who came out ahead.

I really think you’re right to pause and reflect here. To be blunt, it does feel like there was some taking advantage and definitely a lack of appreciation. You flew him business class, put him up in a Beverly Hills suite for four days, that’s not just generous, that’s extraordinary. Was there ever a conversation about whether you’d see him during the rest of that trip? Because my guess is he structured those extra days at your expense so he could line up other clients. That’s a hard pill to swallow when you were the one footing the bill. What really strikes me is the level of care you showed: the airfare, the accommodations, the effort. That’s the kind of generosity that deserves to be matched with attentiveness, effort, and respect on his part. Instead, you got a dismissive comment in the morning and a make-up session only after you voiced disappointment. Honestly, the follow-up was the bare minimum given what you invested. I’ve seen guys give so much more for a lot less. Communication is absolutely key going forward, but the bigger point here is you have every right to expect not just the physical time, but the energy, attentiveness, and appreciation that reflects what you put in. Anything less is just taking.

First off, thanks for sharing your experience. I’m sorry it didn’t unfold the way you’d hoped. Honestly, for me it’s the attitude that stings more than anything else. $4K is no small amount, and on top of that you flew him out and presumably covered dinner too. Sure, expectations could have been clarified upfront, but this was your first overnight, that alone takes things up a level. You deserved to feel special and appreciated the whole time, not like you were just paying for someone to sleep beside you. “Good luck getting it up”? Absolutely not. Where’s the incentive to spend that kind of money again if he isn’t making your fantasies a priority? Making YOU a priority! It’s nice that he checked in after, but at the end of the day, you paid a lot for more than being shut down.

Bummer.

Some men bring flowers, I bring discretion and stamina. Why cry over your ex when you can hire an upgrade? Champagne, candlelight, or cash app: I’m romantic in every currency.

I’m sorry you had that experience. Given how well you got along, is it possible it wasn’t really about you, but perhaps something else was going on? I’ve mentioned this before, but once I met with a provider and it was clear early on nothing was going to happen. He’d just been having a tough few weeks, so we ended up at the hotel bar talking for hours. Really nice guy. He insisted we meet again the next night, which we did and he was amazing.

I wasn’t blown away by the twist in Barbarian at all. If anything, the story just got sillier as it went on. The first half was easily the strongest and most interesting.

I didn’t come from money either. My parents worked extremely hard just to keep us afloat, and I learned early that nothing was going to be handed to me. I worked multiple jobs, put myself through school, and eventually earned my law degree. That gave me my first real financial footing. I had no social life in the beginning of my career. I sacrificed a lot early with the hope I wouldn’t have to later on. There were no guarantees. Spent several years paying off student loan debt. From there, I was careful but bold. I invested in several start ups. Some tanked, others did very well. I picked up some real estate along the way, and, most importantly, surrounded myself with smart, driven people who pushed me to think bigger. Over the decades, those choices compounded. It wasn’t inheritance. It was consistency, discipline, and knowing that the long game always beats the quick win.

Pedro Pascal was originally set to play Josh Brolin’s part. He had to drop out due to scheduling issues.

Sarah Jessica Parker Says “I Don’t Really Care” About ‘And Just Like That’s Hate Watchers DEADLINE.COM As 'And Just Like That...' ends, Sarah Jessica Parker recently addressed the show's "hate watchers," who have been...

I see this as two things. First, it probes the arbitrariness of modesty rules: a nipple is biologically the same structure across bodies, yet society assigns different meanings depending on gender identity. Second, that shows the real issue isn’t anatomy, but how cultural systems code some bodies as neutral and others as sexual (and I think that has deepened over generations). As a cis gay man, I notice this in myself too. Society coded male nipples as neutral, yet I’m drawn to them, which makes me realize how much desire and cultural norms interact in complicated ways. Interesting discussion, Simon.

I appreciate you sharing this. There’s definitely a correlation between the two you described. A friend of mine who no longer escorts actually started for the money. He needed it, and work was hard to come by. He never considered it before, and had no idea if he’d be “good at it” until he tried. What he discovered over 20 plus years was that his real strength was a caregiving impulse. He had a strong pleaser streak and genuinely enjoyed helping others feel good, less lonely, and more confident. In the end, those deeper motivations, along with the sense of control and autonomy, were what kept him going.

Some more taglines. I have too much time on my hands folks. I don’t clock in, I check you out. I turn clients into regulars, and regulars into bankruptcies. I don’t do freebies, but I do do husbands. Love may be blind, but my rates have 20/20 vision. 🤷‍♂️

That’s Latin for “we don’t do happy endings.“

I like your profile!

Happy Birthday. @purplekow 🎂🎉 Here’s to many more! Have a wonderful day!

You can shut me up anytime, Jamie. 😉😘

You’re referencing the old English idiom, “like water off a duck’s back.” Ironically, I think your earlier post showed the opposite… no? LOL

A few more I thought of this morning over coffee. 😂 Business or pleasure? Honey, why not both? I may work by the hour, but I’m unforgettable for a lifetime. I don’t chase clients… I replace them. I don’t need a sugar daddy… I am the whole bakery

You’ll have to explain your mantra to us.

If I was a provider: Your pleasure is my business expense. As a client: Why settle for Mr. Right when I can hire Mr. Right Now? 🤷‍♂️😂

I’m newer to the forum myself, and I personally couldn’t care less if you post a topic that’s been discussed before. As you pointed out, others will sometimes chime in about that. My comment about the “hazmat suit” was just a lighthearted joke. Based on similar threads I’ve read, I thought this one might spark some lively discussion, like others that have ended up closed. The moderators will decide what’s appropriate here, not me. If my joke came across as annoyance, I’m sorry, that couldn’t be further from the truth.

If you run a search on these topics (COVID, vaccines, etc.), you will find similar threads with interesting discussions.

Did he mention anything when you met him? Did you have to say anything further?