Mocha

Considering one of you are from New York, and the other from studio city, I’ll dedicate this one to both of you:

@hypothetically and @Gymowner...I suppose that all makes sense. I’ve just always been torn between west and east coast. DC has been a favorite city of mine, but San Francisco is also a favorite of mine. Unless @Kevin Slater can process some data, I just don’t know which city has more clients lol. I’m inclined to say the Washington DC area has more clients, but I find San Francisco is easier to reach clients. I feel like San Francisco guys have more respect for escorts than Washington DC guys (no offense to anyone in DC, but that’s just how it is). They plan in advance, and with detail. Why? I don’t know.

I’ve decided before I do the site, I’m going to 1st continue to cut down on the nonsense, like I’ve previously said before. I’ve already made clear on all of my ads at the start, to only contact me when they know they can schedule, and to be considerate of my time. The other thing I’m going to do, is stop responding to texts at the moment they send them. I find myself responding to texts when I’m not in the position to do so, or responding when they want to meet and I may be in the middle of other things. Then after I stop what I’m doing, they say they can’t make it, and piss me off. So...going forward, I’m only going to answer texts when I get ready to. If I sense they’re just being nosy or want some entertainment, I will just ignore them just like they do. Two can play that game. And a lot of times, these texts just be nonsense. Almost like they’re trying to check up on you. One client of mine texted me the other day, “are you back in town”. I wasn’t bothered, but I waited until the next day to return his message. I wasn’t in town until later that evening anyway, and he didn’t say anything to allude he even wanted a session. Lot of these texts just don’t have any sense of coordination in them, therefore I’m just going to stop responding to them right away. Unless someone sends be a specific message that talks specifically about making an appointment...I’m just going to respond when I am ready, in my comfort zone, and can talk to them. All the unnecessary, round the clock communication ended yesterday.

http://www.campchannel.com/art/map_region2.gif Based on the number of cities and general saturation/volume of clients. I’ve been in the Midwest, but considering making way back to living in the western part of the US. I’ve lived in 3 of the southern US states, 1 of the western and 1 of the midwestern. I’ve not done the northeast extensively, but I would imagine despite it’s smaller imprint on the map, it would have the largest concentration of clients. It’s also hard to tell if lots of escorts=lots of clients. Like New York generally has 300 or 400 advertising, but it doesn’t necessary mean the number of clients matches to create sustainability. There’s also some cities I’ve been to that regularly, never have more than 5 escorts advertising. Yet there’s always new clients on most every visit, even after several years. Here’s my viewpoint of each region: The South: Several cities to choose from, but generally the most conservative. How much a person expects for an hour outside of Florida and Texas, can be a challenge as rates can be lower. The Northeast: High concentrations of clients in the big player cities (New York, Boston, Washington DC...I also don’t consider DC as being a southern city, even though technically it is). However, generally comes with a higher costs and more competition. The Midwest: Solid base of clients, lots of potential in big key player cities. However, tends to be seasonal and many cities lie in the Rust belt (which can translate to no or low pay). Business can drop off in the colder winter months in many Midwest cities. The West: Lots of potential to stand out, less competition across the board. However, it can be conservative outside of the big key player cities. And generally once outside of the big cities, there’s not much potential for business. Many states in the west have become dead zones for biz, especially since Craigslist got dropped, considering that was big in the smaller markets: Idaho, Wyoming, Montana, northern Nevada...

I think it’s a great idea...a way to test the waters before taking a dip.

Either that or they’re getting laid too often, and they see MSMs as nothing more than just ordering pizza. There’s nothing wrong with meeting someone for sex in 5 minutes (in fact the closest client I’ve ever had was one who was just 2 floors above me in a Phoenix hotel, and another who was 3 floors above me in a Saint Louis Hotel.) Hell...over pride weekend, I took my friend’s roommate to my car and let him suck me off til I came lol. Parked right on the street! I couldn’t even wait to get to the hotel...the D was needing to be released! So by all means, I’m not afraid of spontaneity. Just don’t bullshit when time comes to do it.

I don't post links to my ad here, but a few select clients know me already.

Most of the requests I get for 3 ways are either the client looking to have a 3rd, or the scenario in which the client says "I'm with another escort". Or, I walk in and there just happens to be another guy there. But I will say, I get what you're saying. I once had a situation where the client said he was inviting 2 other escorts over in a gang bang type scene. I was hesitant initially, and made sure I got the right info. But on walking in, the action was already going on. It turned out hot and fun regardless, but when you have 2 other tops plus a bottom...it becomes a game of trying to figure out where to insert the D at that point. The ones that don't usually work are the ones who are like, "do you have any buddies you can bring", or "i'm looking to see if i can find 1 or 2 other guys". One guy bullshitted me in Denver like that, but then never ended up getting back to me. I wasn't mad though because I wasn't expecting him to actually do it. He didn't even get to the first step of contacting me by phone.

I think he meant that it's just become the norm, regardless of being acceptable. Which is has been. Ghosting is generally a defense mechanism people use to avoid confrontation or any sort of situation where it's going to involve them being "real" or show any side of them that they don't portray.

Gack, what a lame, sorry excuse for an analogy! Don't compare my time and effort to set up a session with a client, to window shopping in a store! You might as well say a client can walk into my hotel or apartment without notice and touch and feel on me, and walk out and call that window shopping! No sex took place, so that's okay right? SMH. You seem to be confused with trying on shirts for escort work! lol. I had a retail friend try to say the same thing to me. There's a difference between going to a place of business where people are clocked into work, and getting paid regardless, versus contacting someone PRIVATELY ON THE PHONE to make an arrangement....then have that person not respond. After that person made you stop what you're doing, check their schedule, risk getting into an accident or ticket while driving...only for the fucking fucktard to stop responding. And then...that same person contacts again 2 months later like it never happened, and does the same thing again! But I shouldn't post their information though because, that same person might have some intent to hire me. Unbelievable. If you want to compare window shopping to ANYTHING we do, it would be when people look at our ads. Go ahead, knock yourself out looking at my ad. Jerk off to my pictures everyday if you want. But don't contact my phone and have me stopping what I'm doing, making concessions to schedule, and then pussyfoot out of the arrangement by being an inconsiderate, sorry excuse for a man by playing games or not responding. Because that's just going to wind them up on the piece of **** list. How about instead we compare it to calling pizza hut/China 1 and the person on the other end putting the phone down when the polite lady asks to place your order? Or going thru the whole process to cook the order, only to see a text saying "sorry, something came up". How about we compare it to calling 911, and then going ghost? How about we compare it to calling your nephew, brother, or other family member to make plans, and then flaking out on them? Bet people would be a little more serious about that, wouldn't they? 1. No I don't expect every single inquiry to turn into booking. If you've ever read my posts, I've explained before that I don't take multiple clients a day or around the clock. 2. You seem to insinuate that it's something I'm doing wrong. Versus putting any sort of responsibility on the ones doing it. I have reached out to other escorts many times, it's not something I'm unwilling to do. At the same time, I have come to understand that it's not always worth it because over the years of reaching out to guys in the business, I have been met with varying degrees of advice. Some people give good advice, other don't even bother to respond. Or they give advice laced with kryptonite. Or they respond initially, but then stop responding after 1 or 2 messages (@latbear4blk referred me to someone to ask advice from, I contacted this negro in a polite, professional manner, he replied one time saying he was with a client, and didn't even bother to return any of my other messages. I'm like see, that's exactly why I don't reach out to other providers at the advice of clients. I usually accurately sense who I can go to for advice. Guys who we resemble each other, hate me lol. I don't know why clients think that there's this bond between providers that exists. There isn't. That's why I don't have many real life sex worker friends, because some carry so much animosity. You call it negativity, I call it doing what is already going on in the escort business: reviewing/rating. What's so negative about that? Is it negative because a provider wants to do the same thing that clients have been able to do for a long time now? 3. You are trying to control me by using scare tactics that just won't work. By saying destructive to my business, you seem to think that the message forum is the ONLY PLACE in which there is to reach out to clients and make an impression. Don't trick yourself. People have been using the same tired line of not posting on the forum, "be safe, don't say anything that's going to make anyone butthurt." Please. I've gotten over that long time ago. That's the reason why some guys come here, post a few times, and then disappear. People are soooooo afraid of destroying their precious business and possibly...omg, saying the wrong thing and the whole country never hiring them again. Like after I posted this message, I'd already seen 2 additional clients + another favorite from the forum is booking me again. That's not being arrogant, but I'm just saying: Don't get your panties in knot. This isn't about clients, this is about people who contact sex workers for attention purposes, and not with any intent to book. That is two different things. It's like you have independent escort, and then trafficked human being. They're both doing the same thing, but one is good, the other is bad. Make sense?

I was just at Pride in Denver, and I've heard that's supposed to be the largest one in the U.S. (it is massive, but I don't know if large refers to length of parade, or span of the total festivities across town). However, I feel the Milwaukee Pride is the largest one I've seen. They hold it at the fairgrounds and it's complete with a little sky tram. Except it's contained within the area of the fairgrounds, and overall it's more of a carnival than an open street/capitol grounds parade like Denver. I know for me, I couldn't get anyone booked for the whole weekend of Pride. Later that night, I seen a bunch of replies on a4a that didn't go anywhere. I had people contacting me Monday after the Sunday pride, those didn't go thru either. It wasn't until about 4 days after Pride, that I finally had booked in a client. Is Pride good or bad for business? I'm inclined to say it's neither "good" or "bad" for business....but don't expect to be busy. Too many distractions, too much drinking and drug use, too many other options for sex. Pride (the years I attend) are usually for me to show off, connect with friends, and have fun. I don't even expect it as any business opportunity. I've also been in town during D.C. Black gay pride, I was running out there. Seems all of my clients go out of town that weekend, and you're pretty much just left to your own devices if you're trying to work around that time lol.

Well...that’s the thing too. If we’re going to want respect, then escorts need to start first. I don’t know who flaked 1st, the chicken or the egg. I don’t know if more escorts have flaked on clients or the other way around. We have to set an example. At the same time, people who contact us don’t need to tar us with the same brush either. I recently had a mofo do exactly what you mentioned: but he would text me, asks if I’m available, then not return messages. He did it twice. I look him up, he’s an actual lawyer, with his phone number and photo on a law firm website. Sometimes I wonder if these people are being coerced to do these things on the behalf of someone. What lawyer in their right mind is going to contact a sex worker twice, and then stop responding twice. Not after I give rates, just after saying “thanks for your response. How can I help you, I am available today” That’s just so elementary. And these people are going to keep doing it, until someone calls them out on it. Apparently the guys he’s done it to, haven’t trained his ass. He learned from me though...I don’t play that.

-Access would likely be open. -Yes -Maybe, depends if they fix the issue -I would let other escorts post. It would be moderated before being posted. This isn’t a new idea. There’s one called rate my customer (google it).

I agree...I should be on meds dealing with this shit. sex workers that want clients who contact...wait, no...PEOPLE (again this isn’t about clients, it’s about PEOPLE who contact sex workers: 2 separate entities who aren’t always mutually exclusive) to take responsibility and have consideration, needs to get on meds. My point exactly. And people wonder why nothing is getting done to legalize/decriminalize. Because we’re crazy, and need help, meds, etc. when we ask for a little grain of respect and change.

I had a client doctor once tell me the same thing. I also did meet a client whom had one of the mentioned complications. However, he did mention it was due to other ailments, not just simply from getting older. As for the question:

Never that. I’m already getting the word out in other ways. I’m trying to figure out some ways to avoid having to make the site, because I’m trying to focus on getting my X tube account together instead. I’m considering the alternative solutions: either getting rid of or only responding to texts once a day, or being more persistent on giving new clients a 1 strike only rule. Meaning if they contact me, and stop responding 1 time...block and don’t allow them to contact again. I had 2 people do exactly that. Both of them contacted me today, and did it AGAIN. They contact me with 1 or 2 messages, I respond back with atleast 2 texts, and then get no reply. A week or a month later, they come back around and contact me like nothing ever happened, and don’t respond back AGAIN. So that rules out any sort of reasoning for them doing it the first time, if they come around and do it a 2nd time. Some guys are honest and will say their wife/partner, etc walked in. Fair enough. But all the silent treatment nonsense is different. People like that have some sort of complex, and at that point they don’t deserve discretion. That’s not a client, that’s a SCAM ARTIST. And they need to be reported and made to answer. They mess with our time for sport, just to mess us up. They’re not clients. They’re criminals. These people troll the Rentmen sites looking for attention from us, with no intention of making anything happen. And I pay for a service which helps me track down these sorry excuses for a client. They think they can dog me out, and leave me looking empty handed. Then they find out the hard way, that I’m not the 1 for it. I like the ones who try to threaten to sue me and call the police and blah blah blah. For what? Don’t they remember they contacted me first and went out their way to fabricate a meeting? A genuine client shouldn’t have to worry about any of that, because that’s not how normal clients operates.

Reason I gave a sad face is because you assume that “all escorts see multiple clients per day. By using “medical help” and “keep hard” in the same sentence implies that we can’t just stay up on our own and/or are cumming each time for these multiple clients per day. To answer your question, do escorts take it? I’m sure some do. Hell, I’ll admit I keep some on standby. But do I use it everyday or every week? No. That’s what Maca Root, Zinc, Horny Goat Weed, Exercise and Porn is for. And trust me: having an Uncut dick is not fit for having sex “multiple times a day, everyday”. If anyone out there is suffering from phimosis, try having your dick sucked for 4 hours straight, back to back ?

Well since this this thread, I did take up on going to Denver Pride fest (which is entertaining becoming more of a day to express nudity and “hedonism” more than gay pride) but I like it regardless. I wasn’t feeling “proud” of how things been going in the gay community, but at the same time I wasn’t going to let people ruin my pride spirit. Fortunately I just went with 2 guys who I didn’t know too well...but they were non-drama and fun and everything turned out well. At the very least I can say, my drama radar is getting better, and I just steered clear of meeting any new people. Mainly just reconnected with past gay friends I’ve not seen in years

I appreciate the suggestions, but the problem with quotes like that, is it tends to place the blame on the person, versus addressing the issues. It also insinuates that people should turn their backs on those who aren’t bubbling with happiness. So: if that quote is correct, if I want a White boyfriend, then does that mean I can only attract who I am? Does that mean I have to “resemble” people in order to fit in, and be like them? Surely it can be related to attitude and not physical. But, when you have to add “but” or change up the meaning, it becomes something different than what it reads. It’s also judgmental. You (or whoever makes those quotes), don’t know what someone has gone thru. I can’t name how many times I’ve been in a perfectly good mood, good attitude, good state of mind, and along comes someone who wants to create animosity and negativity. And majority of them exist within the gay community, I just let go another gay friend over the weekend. He was a former client, but fell on hard times recently. We recently reconnected on a platonic, short term level. He was cool when we met up again last week, but this week he was constantly snappy, moody, and just giving me attitude. After 2 days, we had to just go our separate ways.

Oh wow, good one lol. I do ask for the deposit in some scenarios, but on some occasions people have said they don’t want to pay upfront. So I don’t like to ask for them for all sessions. Especially the ones who contact from Adam and RentMasseur. They are the least likely to want to leave a deposit. I asked for a cancellation fee today from someone, and got quite a nasty message back via RentMasseur from him, including being called psycho and disease ridden. I’m wondering if I should print it out and take it over to his place of employment, and see what they think about that. But in reality, I really don’t have time for this crap. I’m not out here to fight and wrestle with clients. And I also get tired of people contacting me, and when I try to get them to meet, it turns into a “oh that’s too far/too late/too much money” I had one guy today, 1st he said the location I was going to host would be too far today, then he says tomorrow won’t work for him, when I suggested being able to host at a hotel closer to him. I told him, “If you don’t want to compromise on location/time, I can’t help you. I’m not in the business to revolve around what works for you”. I know it sounded harsh, but people got it fucked up to think they can text me, and then boss me around and say no, no, no...when THEY CALLED ME. I don’t know why these dudes think when they contact me, I’m going to be nearby, in a hotel, available, and waiting for them. You’d think having a car would be such an advantage in this business. But in some cities, you lose regardless because people can’t host, and expect you to already have a place to host them...when they can’t even be bothered to confirm or show up to begin with. Meanwhile, hotels during the summer are running $120+ a night in many cities. And here I am sitting in a hotel right now, and all the 20 people who contacted are nowhere to be found. I just don’t know what to do. Either turn off texts, or create a gripe site. I’m even just considering setting a time to answer texts/calls at 2 times of the day, and that’s it. Because these round the clock texts with no money or bookings coming out of it is pushing me to the verge of burnout and depression. Something has to give, because I refuse to suffer much longer dealing with this nonsense.

Well, it’s just going to have to be that way. Right now, no one else is taking the initiative. I’ve had conversations with websites over and again, offering suggestions that could help cut down on things. They’re not taking the suggestions, and it’s getting worse, not better. Maybe the fear is what people need to change how they associate with providers. Being nice, sexy and professional on its own isn’t working. They’re not listening to that. Just the other day: I had a client call and claim he wanted to book that night in Denver (as I said before, quickly becoming the #1 worst area for bullshit clients, 2nd only to Atlanta for worst), asked if I can host and if not he would get a hotel. Never called back, never returned messages. Just a complete gamer. And what happens to him? Nothing. Because nobody won’t do nothing. There’s no Credit Karma, Experian, or Equifax to report his f-ing ass to. So what do I have to do?

It’s hard to tell who’s using texting apps initially. That’s the other thing I’ve been considering. For awhile I’ve been accepting and encouraging to answering texts, but I may need to revert back to not accepting them anymore. It’s making me too accessible to them, and despite me responding to each text professionally and with full details on my rates along with allowing them to introduce themselves, appointments still don’t get made, people still drop off, etc.

Alright, I’ve come to decision. Next topic... I changed my mind, I want to keep the topic going. So in a nutshell: these are the top 3 problematic types when it comes down to making what I would call “fake” requests. It doesn’t have lead to actually going to a destination, or sitting around waiting for a client in a hotel and they not show up. It could be as simple as someone texting a provider for an appointment, getting details, discussing an arrangement, and then failing to confirm on the day/time agreed. Additionally, these types will 99% of the time come around and book the escort again at a later time, only to flake out on the provider again. This eliminates any potential of something emergency coming up, this is the work of a fake-pretend client who likes to wind escorts up and waste their time. 1. The texter who contacts to make an appointment, then doesn’t respond after 1 or 2 messages. Couple months later, the person contacts again, likely asking the same questions: are you in (insert city) as if you’ve never spoken before and they didn’t just go radio silent. 2. The ones who go thru the process of making an appointment, but then find all reasons they can’t make it work, usually by saying “that won’t work for me”. These types will wind you up for several minutes/hours sometimes (especially the adam4adam types). Or, they text out the blue in effort to be “bossy” by implying nothing you do will work for them (as if them contacting as implies we exist for the sole reason of dropping everything just for them). 3. Obviously, the ones who have an appointment, and then flat out don’t show up to the address given or location sent. Right now, I’ve already got a reporting avenue going, but now it’s time to take it to the next level. Hopefully it’ll help deter the bullshitters (because let’s face it, they do it because it’s entertainment to them and gives them an ego boost) and help others avoid them.

Exactly. Now, despite me ragging on Dallas before...I can say I really did miss some of my running buddy friends out there. Even now, I still have 1 friend remaining there: older white guy, and he was my photographer the whole time I was there. He’s also not into the “scene” so to speak. But otherwise, some of the other interactions I’ve had have been borderline “toxic”. The latest choice words I’ve been called by other gay men (and I’m not even referring to the some of the mean girls of the forum lol): Fuck you Physcho (spelled as such) Maybe you should shoot yourself (came from a guy who sleeps with a gun next to his bed). Granted, I did “let them have it”, so I may have egged them on. But only after they crossed me, and I was just letting them know I wasn’t going to tolerate it. These were both guys who I had hung out with several times (though not for long, not even a month), and even trusted with personal thoughts. It just goes to show how quickly some can switch and change up. But then I think about how is it that I have clients I’ve known for 2, 4, 6 years...and still communicate and schedule sessions today. Even when it seemed like they drift off for awhile, they come back around. I have a Las Vegas trip coming up with a client who I went to Las Vegas with back in 2015, and met a few times. Yet, these guys I’m meeting off apps and clubs aren’t even around for a month. Two weeks. Occasionally I’ll have someone stick around for a few months, but even one of my latest running buddy friends, began to get on my nerves with the smallest things (like telling me I need get my car serviced in Orlando instead of wasting gas going all the way to Tampa). So I cut him off too. Part of me is wondering if perhaps I need to deal with gay interactions differently. I think I’m taking them too seriously. If I don’t abandon the gay scene, the next best bet is to just deal with gay guys on a 1 or 2 time basis only (unless they are clients, of course). Because it pretty much seems that after I meet someone once or twice, they start changing up and getting complacent. In dating, they don’t want to put the effort to make anything work, you ask them for a little bit of clarity, they get all chicken shit and avoidant. With friendships, they start seeing me as a competitor or do things to try to knock down my self esteem. Like fuck, why do I need that? Lol. As prejudice as it may seem: I find of all races, the Latino guys seem to be the most consistent across the board. Not all, but many. They’re not out to sabotage like some of the other guys. If they aren’t feeling you, they’ll usually just slip away respectfully (though I wish some of them were more open about their feelings). But the Black and White gays (maybe it’s more of American thing), they can just be straight up trifling lol.