Mocha

I just want to say: I most recently put a note on my profile that I won’t be giving any private gallery codes without payment. PERIOD. Someone in DC got a hissy fit and blocked me after I told him that, so I had to just go ahead and put it in my profile. Some of these guys contacting us on Rentmen act like big babies wearing diapers and need to be spanked lol. We have spoiled them rotten to a point where they pretty much think everything is free, up until they pay us. No. What the hell is the point of having a private gallery, if we are to just open them just because they request it? Do strippers just start taking off clothes just because a guy asks, or they waiting on tips? These cheap, spoiled suckers on the rentmen site have it twisted, and I have urged rentmen and other providers to stop giving them free passes. I used to have clients in and out of my door from Craigslist, and all they seen before meeting me was 1 picture of me wearing underwear, because Craigslist only allowed 1 photo and not nudes. These guys now are so entitled up their ass and seem to get mad when you ask for payment for nude pictures. If they don’t like it, there’s usually 25 other pics on my profile they can look at. If they want to act overly entitled, and not pay me for my ARTWORK, then they can wait to see me in person, or get the hell on. As for the rest, I would have had to cut him off from the jump. #1, he was asking for something in October. Too far in advance. He would of had to pay me $100 just to talk about that. #2 He started challenging your strength and demeanor. That’s disrespectful. And #3 his verbiage was condescending and rude, and 4 hours thru email on rentmen is too long.

Well I have an update: I’m still open to meeting friends and such when traveling. Over The Weekend, I went out to a bar in DC and met a guy who ended up picking me up and treating me out to the Legal Seafood Restaurant in DC for my birthday. It was a blast. What’s kinda scary is, had I never stepped out that night (and I was about to not too as I was kinda tired), I woulda never met him and ended up spending my birthday night in DC alone...because the bastard of a human being I’ve known for like 2 years, who told me he was going to plan something for my birthday, ended up completely flaking out on me the entire time. And the 2 clients I know in DC couldn’t meet, my other favorite client in Maryland passed away...so things were looking pretty frightening, before I was able to schedule in 2 clients in a day...and decided to take myself to a gay bar. That’s why I said in that other thread, don’t underestimate the gay bar. They’re still relevant and important nowadays. I can guarantee I wouldn’t of found anyone on Grindr to take me out on a date for my birthday. People on these apps are 9 out 10 just looking for cheap and free. They never spend money on shit. If you want to meet quality gays, you still have to go to the bars, and just have a good radar. They’re not going to pay for our “time”, but I’ve had a few show me some real good times.

P.S. I know Karma is an overused word. But for lack of better word, maybe I’ll just say don’t ignore “good judgement”. This is just something that’s dropped on my mind today, after having had 2 clients I met previously, tell me of their tales of woe regarding other escorts and/or freebie dates they picked up. Now, by no means am I pointing the finger or making fun of them. Getting a disappointing (or unsafe) experience is no laughing matter. However, I know there’s clients who would “never do that” and clients who “wouldn’t think twice” about doing that. “That” being, booking appointments with other guys, when you had another date already on layaway. 2 most recent scenarios: Client #1 and I were discussing scheduling an appointment in his city. I had met him before. This would have been round #2. This was being discussed for atleast a couple of weeks or so. He was having some things to get sorted before booking, and would follow back up. When I was ready to come to his town, he told me he couldn’t meet as he had already booked an appointment with another provider who was also in town. He never told me who it was, but it was a small town and wasn’t hard to figure out (I have to be nosy, you know). Couple days later, he tells me he wished he had cancelled that session because the guy couldn’t keep it up...and he was disappointed. Wow. I sympathized, but in my mind I was like...why the f**k would you book HIM, when we been talking all along about meeting up again, considering our last session was good enough for him to give me a 5 star review. I only live 3 hours away. Client #2, we were meeting for the 1st time. He cancelled his Saturday morning session with me. Fair enough, but then ignored my requests for cancellation fee, no response. The next day, he reached out to me...out of nowhere as if I never asked for anything. He said he could still do the session, but that he had “a friend” there with him. We ended up meeting and having a hot 3 way, and all was good. Or so I thought. Just the other day, he messages me talking about the guy stole his ID and credit card, and the guy said he was hanging with ME (I never exchanged any info or seen the guy again). I was like wait: I thought you said it was your friend, you just meet him that night? He says yes. Which goes to show, he tried to replace me with that guy, but when that guy wasn’t into him...he called me over. He should have just stuck with our plans to begin with, instead he picks up some random who was a complete user and junkie. I know some clients have legitimate reasons for having to call up a Plan B or whatever. But people need to understand, whether it’s karma or not...stick with the person who’s consistent and trying to make something happen. I put a lot of effort into keeping in contact with clients, it boggles me when they get distracted by someone else...and end up getting less than they bargained for. I’ve learned the same myself. I never cancel a client based on another client being more convenient or sounding more attractive. I don’t even cancel clients for offers with “friends” anymore either. I’ve done it before, and got burnt. If any doubt, it’s first come, first served. The person who’s consistent and you’ve been working with first, is the one to be scheduled.

That’s nice of you to offer a place AND allow the provider to “provide” from there (assuming that’s what you mean). I’ve had many offers to share accommodations with clients, but it’s kinda a deal breaker when the condition is can’t host over...unless they’re either paying for the time or giving a little “cushion” money for everyday expenses otherwise. That said, I really don’t be in a rush to accept “offers” for sleepovers. I’ve had enough “you can stay over” offers to write a book about. I’m at the point where I just can’t trust sleepovers with guys. Been burnt way too many times. One minute they’re all welcoming, next minute they’re trying to throw someone out. I let these fuck mother fuckers know, I’m not the 1. I don’t “need” them for a place to stay. So don’t try to offer something, then pull it away once you get satisfied. One of my clients the other day was telling me about how he’s never been in a relationship with a guy because he said they’re not consistent. He’s only been involved with women. I don’t blame him. I might need to explore the heteroflexible lifestyle myself...

I’m in Washington DC, and just went out to a gay bar the other night and met someone who’s taking me on a date for my birthday this evening ?? lol. That’s not to brag, but here’s the thing with gay bars: you have to go with minimum expectations, but EXPECT to meet someone regardless. I usually always meet someone when I go to a gay bar, the issue is evaluating the quality of those people. That’s the main reason I cut down on going to bars, is you don’t always know who you’re getting outside of the bar. However, that’s where the low expectations, high hopes come into play. And just an overall good radar. I’ve kinda stopped trying to figure out gay bars, and whether it’s worth going...and just go or not go based on my mood. If I made money and have the money to spend, I’ll go. If not, I stay home. Some people get caught up in going out every night, wasting money and being caught up in drama. It’s not worth it. I go out when I’m out of town with friends, or if have the opportunity to go. It also depends heavily where you live. Gay bars in conservative market towns like Nashville, Kansas City, Tulsa, San Antonio, Madison, Wisconsin...basically middle America...it’s just not the same experience. Gays in those towns have a clique mentality. If you’re alone, you’re creepy. If you’re with someone, you’re still “up for grabs”. Yes...that’s how it works. I actually ended up having my first 3som with my best friend, because a guy was into both of us...and we both went to his hotel room lol. But cities like LA, DC, Miami, SF...all those areas tends to be more open minded to new comers and guys going out alone. The fact is: Grindr and company can’t ever replace a gay bar. I find the most consistent gay people are those I meet in bars and clubs and thru escorting. Not Grindr, not and not “by chance” at the grocery store or something (I’ve still yet to make any friends or fuck buddies via gym, grocery store, etc). But again, I do it in moderation. I’ll usually go out only 1 night on a weekend...unless it’s something specific going on. And also, people have to be honest with themselves and pick the right crowd. I don’t go to places where everybody is in their 20s. That’s the immature crowd. Find the place where the middle and older guys go. I tend to go to the 25-40s bars. I don’t do “18 and up” nights, and I don’t do “leather daddy nights” either. I tend to go to where I’m not going to feel out of place.

Well that’s the thing: the person to be invited was not even a client, but just a friend I knew. But otherwise yeah, he did know what my profession was...and it wasn’t until after the fact that he discussed not wanting to have anyone over (he personally knew the person renting the air bnb out...but it didn’t have much to do with that, than it had to do with him and his insecurities about keeping tabs on people). But like was said above...that would have been a boundary to discuss before and not after the fact. We actually got into a little argument because I told him, it’s not like I just showed up with someone. He got mad simply because I was asking a questions. But regardless, that friendship is over now. However, he was one of the few “clients” I kept around as “friends”, but I’ve cautioned myself in the past to tread careful in those situations...because not all clients are “cool” like that. At the same time, for each of those 4 situations I spoke of, there’s been atleast a couple more examples of each...especially the fuck buddy and out of town “relationship” thing. I feel like too, the way things are: people nowadays have way too many options at their disposal. Most guys are “talking” to several people at once. One guy on twitter made post about how he was texting all 14 people he was dating, “hello”. It sounded amusing, but it’s sad the way people handle things. Everyone has a plan a, b, c, d, e, f...

As much as I enjoy this lifestyle, I been having 2nd thoughts about the authenticity of some of the connections I’ve been making. This year alone, I’ve met a lot of people but also had to let go of several people in my circles for various reasons: And they’ve all included those 4 I mentioned. I’ve had to let go of relationships, friends, fuck buddies and clients. Sometimes I wonder if the same opportunity of meeting people when traveling, also leaves the door open to many superficial connections. Some examples: I had met a guy in Las Vegas earlier this year, after meeting thru a mutual friend on Twitter. We spent a week together, and things were perfect. But two weeks after I left, things went south and we haven’t spoke since. A former client/friend of mine in Atlanta who I’ve known for a little over a year, moved back to Colorado in June. We were sharing an air bnb together for about a week. One night he got upset when I asked to bring someone over (he wasn’t hiring me nor was he wanting sex). I left and we haven’t talked since. I had a nice fuck buddy who lived 3.5 hours north of me, and we linked up twice. But after that, there wasn’t much effort on his part to keep things going. And being business in his town seems to come and go, I stopped going up there myself. Then I have a client in Phoenix I’ve known for years. We were making plans to meet again over the past couple of months, in between him helping family. Our last chat, he had called me but I couldn’t take his call. I texted that I would ring back later that night, and he said it would be fine. Didn’t answer the phone, and hasn’t returned any messages in 2 weeks. So I think to myself, what is going on? I don’t expect every connection to be life long, but it seems like few of them are real. I’ve been working harder on myself to just let people go, without accountability now. There was another guy in Kansas City I was getting to know (aka, fuck) on a “deeper” level. We made plans to hang out again the following week, but he gave me some lame excuse on the day before, about being sick and throwing up all day. I didn’t even question it, but the next day when he didn’t even let me know if we were on or off, I just scheduled some clients and left town. I remember former Michael Vincenzo and I had a phone conversation couple years ago. He told me how when he travels, he doesn’t meet up and play with other guys outside of clients, and I can see why. Maybe his reasons were different, but I can see how it can just lead to unfulfilled expectations and just an overall distraction.

To quote myself: I say because I have had guys who didn’t know a lick of English: where do you want me to ejaculate? Pulls out phone to translate: ¿donde quieres que eyacule?

I don’t think it’s necessarily a wealth thing. My client who owns a home in Michigan and the Florida Keys, talks vulgar leading up to our encounters. He even alludes to such jokes over dinner too, which initially annoyed me on our first overnight...but then I found it to be cute, letting people in our adjacent restaurant tables know how much “protein” Im giving him later.

Did you inquire as to why he was on his phone so much? If English was his second language, could it have been he was using it for translation?

Research, training, or checking out competition: I don’t think it’s necessary to hire another escort for any of those things. If an escort does choose to hire another escort, I would imagine it would be for the same reasons as any other. I’ll just say this: I’m on the same note with @hypothetically. I don’t really have anything against hiring or being hired by another escort but I just keep my encounters and conversations mainly with guys who aren’t in the industry. The only time I engage a lot of escorts at one time, is at Palm Springs and Twitter. And even then, I keep it cute and simple. But I can’t see myself hiring another escort. All of my ride or die male friends I’ve know for months and years, are guys who aren’t in the industry. For whatever reason, the times I’ve crossed paths with other escorts, whether thru mutual clients or chance meetings out and about, but they’ve always seemed intimidated. But if more ethnic escorts networked like I hear some of the other guys do, there wouldn’t be any need for intimidation. I was recently propositioned by someone to make a video, though I don’t think he was offering money. I didn’t really think us making a video and posting it on Rentmen would do much justice, so I eventually slipped away from the idea.

I just noticed you joined in 2006! I’m closing in on 10 years next year...trying sooo hard not to get voted off ?

“Was” designed. The body is designed to be totally naked as well, but that was way back in 6,000 B.C. Things have changed. You can do all sorts with your ass nowadays. Just ask whoever makes these: On a serious note: anal fissures are no laughing matter, and should be addressed with care. I know for me, I can’t be a bottom back to back or for sustained periods because I’m prone to fissures. No bleeding...but microscopic internal tears that hurt like hell. So, I’ve resolved to be 95% Top...but the rush of getting fucked is different than the rush of fucking, so once in awhile I’ll partake.

You mean guys weren’t being literal when they said, “get up in my guts?”

I have a regular client I see about once every year or so. He does exactly that. Talks super vulgar and about the fantasy. However, on our 1st meet...he was like the most polite ever, never mentioned anything. I play along with it because he always hires me for overnights, and I don’t mind a little building here and there. It’s kinda sexy, and kinda annoying. Only thing, our appointment could be weeks and months away... I will say 1 thing though: before Grindr, before gay.com, and even before Adam...there was megaphone and megamates phone chat. I would actually phone sex with guys long before I met. Some guys, I never ended up meeting. Other guys I carried on relationships where we could only meet once in awhile, but phone sex kept us going. So I get it...it’s not to be annoying, but a way of courting. The issue is, texting/email has made it so much more impersonal, especially if it’s not invited. I’m perfectly fine with being compared to Oceanaire, Ruth Chris, and J Alexander. By all means lol.

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Makes sense, I just had to clarify. I still though, don’t like when sex is compared to food (people have likened looking for sex to pizza, McDonald’s, etc.) it’s not the same. It’ll never be the same. Also like you said, phone talk and in person talk is also not the same.

That’s not the point I was making. It deflects my agreement with @hypothetically when you add “unlike” to what I was referring to. I know escorting is similar to some businesses, but I’m also saying it differs because we deal with a different type of clientele. You just said it, it would be rude to be rude to any of those other industries. At the same time, it’s not the same because those phrases you used would be grounds for sexual harassment, arrest or a lawsuit. In our business, that’s just talk. You can’t compare apples and oranges is what I’m saying. Meaning: @rogerG can’t say we are to deal with clients like any other business, because it’s not behavior like any other business. Just because we sell sex doesn’t mean we should be okay with sexual harassment. You don’t go showing your pictures of sex to your local sex store boutique clerk, do you?

Well see, I don’t even let people have those discussions with me. Everything is on auto until they pass the screening. If they send me dick and ass pic, my assistant will be asking all the necessary info (including the initial explicit conversation fee lol).

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I’m just going to jump in here real quick, but I’m on tour ? so I can’t stay too long. Customers for escorts are not the same as customers for the “service industry”. It takes a backbone and a lot of boundaries to make it here. I was just going to say the other day, since when did the escort industry become so puritanical? People trying to morally judge so much on this forum, but at the end of the day...we are viewed by the “general public” no better whether we never charge a cancellation fee or “blackmail” ? a client, or if we hand out cookies and lemonade while collecting our donations. It’s kind of like police officers (polar opposites, I know). Their “customers” are the general public. But because of the business their in, most interactions involve them being a dick in some shape or fashion, even when they’re pretending to be nice...even though their goal for collecting payment is in the form of a ticket or getting a charge. So at the end of the day, don’t judge someone on how they handle things. The same escorts talking smack, are likely also facilitating someone’s husband/partner to cheat on their spouse (obviously not our fault but still, it’s about the principle) So all the “holier than thou” attitude needs to stop around here.

But before Grindr was Craigslist...

Meh. I guess it’s a personal decision. I just know all of my last dozen clients have all been transparent. @rogerG , Everybody’s sex life is private. Nobody is walking around with “SLUT” on their forehead, unless you’re into NastyPig branded accessories, which is nothing wrong with that either. @down_to_business , it doesn’t matter if you’re meeting an escort for 1 hour or 5 seconds. Again, speaking of the Craigslist killer. It was just 1 hour, in a hotel room. Both of you sound like honest to goodness clients, and I’m not denying your sense of security and privacy. But non of what y’all are saying validates using a phantom number. My last dozen or so clients have used fully identifiable numbers. One was even a stylist for a FAMOUS musician. A musician who I just seen at a music store who was listed under “best selling artist of all time”. I’ve also met an Oscar winner client as well, all identifiable numbers. So....what you trying to tell me?? In my experience, 65% of the time a client is using a burner number, is often on some bullshit. Those be the ones who contact, make an appointment, and flake. Or it’s some weirdo who books, and then blocks escorts halfway thru the booking process (people do that shit too) And then they try to hide behind the guise of “being private”. Or they’re the type who will try to walk out without paying...thinking the escort will never find them. The other 35% of those are clients who live overseas and come to the states on occasion, and have a valid reason to. Or they are extremely high/low profile, and the wife handles EVERYTHING, and she probably already knows anyway. Unless it’s those 2, I just can’t see the reason.

I’m not saying that clients privacy doesn’t matter. I’M saying it’s usually NOT FOR THE SAME REASONS. And yes, I’m well aware that nowadays in M4M situations, it seems like the client is usually the victim moreso than the provider...and I’ve heard stories of clients getting swindled than the other way around. BUT, there’s more evidence that we need to be a bit more savvy about our safety, than that of the client. And a client concealing their identity, should be cause for atleast 0.001 gram of suspicion. And we’re just going to not put emphasis on the fact that these stories are older and more focused on women victims. 1. https://www.lifedeathprizes.com/real-life-crime/killers-who-targeted-prostitutes-63688 2.https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.usatoday.com/amp/17726177 3.https://unsolved.com/gallery/prostitute-serial-killer/ 4.https://www.bustle.com/articles/194623-why-do-serial-killers-target-sex-workers-the-killing-season-explores-this-tragic-type-of-crime That’s just 4 articles. Should I post more? Sure, why not. How about the Boston Craigslist killer: https://the-line-up.com/the-craigslist-killer-a-charming-medical-student-turned-murderer

Not so much fucked up, but continually repressed and in denial of their sexuality (hence that one article about the priest “sucking” demons out of men. People here go to church and try to act all holier than thou, but yeah are anything but. Living in Nashville I seen a lot of it 1st hand. They’d be all on Facebook taking church photos, but on Saturday night they be out like you never knew. Like, how does one invite me out for a date, then I see him making out with another guy out the side of my eye, and then he goes home with me later? Oh...and you also sleep around with my friend, but yet your Facebook says, you graduated with a “bachelor of Christian studies”. And that’s where the issue lies. So many people live double lives, and try to hide. In the process, they mistreat people along the way because they are fed in church that anyone living such a lifestyle, should not be “fellowshipped with”. It’s one thing to want to protect your privacy. We as escorts may not use our personal number, because it’s publicly accessible. I don’t even need to explain why that is a bigger issue than a client giving out a number to 1 or 2 providers. And @down_to_business, you can’t compare escorts privacy to client’s privacy. Let’s be sensible here. Before the internet (and even during the Internet), the safety of someone selling sex was a lot more at risk than someone buying sex. That’s why there’s organizations like SWOP in nearly every major city.