Mocha

They really are, and it seems to come at certain times of the month/year. I’ve been on a miracle streak the past several weeks, all good clients, abundant tippers, almost too good to be true. But then this week (atleast in my current market) people have been right back to the usual bullshit and games like before. Exactly why I stay touring because some cities you can’t give them more than a week or 2, and it’s OVER. And when you’re used to things going well, along comes someone to remind how you just have to revert to being a bitch. I gave this mother fucker too much kindness: answering emails far longer than I should. Normally I’d cut them off right after I say, “call/text me to confirm”. But thinking all RENTMEN clients who email have a good heart, I ended up finding out once again why I don’t waste time engaging them. Anyhow, not to derail the topic. But perhaps the question of who pays for Uber may be more complex than it seems: https://medium.com/radical-urbanist/i-dont-use-uber-neither-should-you-4e1009d0a238 (PS, skip Uber and use LYFT if you are going to rideshare. I feel Lyft is so much easier and better. But in the long run, any app that ends in “errrr” might be bad for the ecosystem lol)

But if you order something from Amazon, unless you have Amazon Prime...who’s going to pay for the shipping? Then again, this is why I’ve kept with cars for the past 15 some years. The way these clients nowadays fuck around with bookings (one such nitwit today took 2 fucking hours just to give me his goddamn ROOM NUMBER to the Mariott he was staying at. Dumb ass was like, “i thought if I gave you my last name, they would just forward you to my room” I DONT HAVE YOUR ROOM NUMBER, BIMBO! Mariott policy says they won’t forward someone to a room with just a last name. Then he cancels because HE took 2 hours to give the room number, after I told him it would now be another hour before I could arrive because he couldn’t be bothered to give the info to me when I was asking for it 2 hours earlier. Fortunately I didn’t waste my gas going to see his stupid ass, but if I’d of booked a Uber there for all this run around...it would have been some trouble.

Ha, in that article in included rural Missouri as one of the places of the “study”. I just so happen to rotate between touring and rural Missouri myself, outside of Kansas City. The choice on Grindr are slim, usually 20-30 miles away, and a4a doesn’t even register the city. There’s hardly any black people here, but I have gone up to the local gym here and see regularly a few hot “straight” guys. I have taken the step to chat to a couple of them, but in the effort I’ve made so far...I haven’t gotten any action out here. Every time I make a conversation with a “straight” white guy out in public, they ALWAYS bring up their “girlfriend/wife”. One of my clients told me, they do it intentionally to build up a wall to say their off limits, even when I don’t even be intentionally trying to hit on them. I just be curious lol. However...when it comes down to it, it “could” happen, but I feel 2 factors come into play: they tend to be older and if any heteroflexible stuff is going down, it’s going to be between other white guys. On top of that, add in that they probably know each other thru organizations or whatever. The only time I have any success meeting another guy for sex is apps, bars, or ads. There’s only been a few times in life that I’ve met someone out in public outside of any gay establishment, and it’s turned into something (one was a Puerto Rican guy at the car wash...he had a wife and we ended up fucking for months. Eventually I moved, and down the line I heard they split). Sometimes I don’t know what to think. Sometimes I feel there’s a lot more heteroflexible men than we know. Other times I feel the MSM population is much smaller than i seems. In some cities, once you get outside of the gay neighborhood, all you see is guys pushing strollers, kids everywhere, and pretty much like gay people don’t even exist outside of the bedroom.

It’s annoying how some cards work on some sites and others don’t. Paypal won’t allow me to pay for an a4a ad. So sometimes I have to go to the store and then transfer the funds to my account. I can do cash app Visa on a4a, but not my AMEX prepaid. I can use AMEX prepaid for RentMen but not a4a because they don’t accept Amex. The issue is some forms of MasterCard and AMEX aren’t accepted on all sites. Visa is about the one that works the most, unless it’s a cash app.

The issue is, anybody can be judgmental. And in the gay scene, one can come across a lot of that. Even the ones who claim to “not judge” are the same ones who are quick to judge somebody based on who they do/don’t know, judge by the job they do, judge on someone’s ethnicity: If it really came down to that, I could say the WHOLE gay community are fuck ups, BUT...that’s generalizing and I wouldn’t want to follow the cynical lingo that some guys use when referring to gay culture. For the most part, I still consider clients as my friends. Not just because the money, but because most clients I meet are polar opposites of how guys in the Gay Bar’s, apps and similar situations are. I just don’t get to see all of them enough to abandoned the gay scene all together. I get BORED. So bored. I booked a hotel downtown just so I can go out last weekend, and I don’t even like the scene in this city. It’s so segregated (within the gay community) and all about “who you know”, which are the same people they’ve know forever. But, I try to make the best out it anyway I can. At the same time, I seem to be leaning more towards just meeting people as I go versus making “friends” with folks. I just don’t need anybody around me who’s just going to be in my ear, getting on my nerves and offering suggestions that aren’t conducive to staying in business. Goodbye!

It’s likely because RentMen owns both the .com and .eu. Being you’re accessing it from the US of ‘Merica, you’ll be transferred to .eu for reasons surrounding FOSTA.

I noticed you ?? one of my posts. Not sure why, but I just want to mention...people are changing the thread from the initial question (which contain very little information), and are now tweaking it to give ”exceptions”. The question was this: I recently arranged a session with a RM and after setting the date and time, the guy requested that I send a deposit to hold my place. Is this a common practice? Some people are saying they’ll never pay a deposit, others are saying what you’re saying, “not for a 1 hour session”. The whole point is not every situation is going to call for a deposit, but some do. To make a blanket statement to say so and so has hired for 20 years and never paid a deposit, is going beyond the initial topic of the questions. And let’s be real, the OP “asked an escort”. I’m not saying client opinions aren’t valuable, but I can bet if more escorts chimed in, the replies would be significantly different. Despite my advocating deposits, I generally only need to ask for them when a situation requires so. It’s like when a poster mentioned the guy who rents a dungeon. Well there’s sometimes I want/need to rent a hotel for various reasons. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve booked rooms and people have been like, “oops sorry, something came up.” Sometimes right as I was handing over my credit card. You’d almost think they were watching me secretly pay for it first, only to cancel. It only takes 1 button for a hotel to take money out of my account, but it takes a whole lot of excuses and 3-5 business days to get the money back if I ask to cancel. I had that happen in Jacksonville last year. Paid for a 2nd night when I was planning to just leave and go back to Orlando, the client ended up being full of shit...so I had to make up a story of why I needed to cancel the reservation I just made. I paid with my cash app card, and somehow they ended up DEDUCTING money from my balance instead of refunding it, in ADDITION to what I just paid. It took a whole week to clear it up. That’s the type of shit that makes me ask for deposits. And if someone passes up, that may just well save me some aggravation. So nowadays, unless I’m already in a hotel or already traveling to a city with clients set up...I will ask for a deposit to host. However...in the client’s favor, I understand you don’t always know who you’re dealing with. But in my case, I have 31 RentMen reviews, versus 1 or 2. I used to have written reviews on Men4Rent/Cruising for escorts...and even then I was asking for deposits if I deemed necessary. And every since I’ve started asking for deposits more (again, not talking $500 or even $100), something easy I can pay back if I can’t make it...I even been cutting down on having to ask for cancellation fees. I don’t have time to be chasing people down, cursing them out, getting all mad and high blood pressured. I rather just charge the cover at time of contact, and avoid all the extra stress.

Count your blessings honey, at least Ed Buck didn’t call you out there in LA! Plus with the supposed fears of Bubonic Plague due to the booming rat population from the homeless, due to the LA exorbitant cost of living, I think LA could be dead for ALOT of people lol. Jokes aside, I actually met a “celebrity” new client from LA over the weekend: 1,600 miles away. He wants me to come out there at some point. I said, I’m not quite in a hurry to lol. Because when I went back in April, I only went because I had a free place to stay for 4 days and some change to play with. My motto for LA is, if you want to meet a client from LA, you have to meet them outside of LA lol. Meet them in San Diego or Palm Springs if you must. Forget about them being able to find you there unless you just really planted there for awhile.

Lol, too late...already sent via FB messenger. BUT, I included both because I didn’t want to seem like I was ganging up on either, and I know whatever I tell my friend, he’s going to tell his partner. I know how relationships go especially if they live together lol. They ended up responding well. Couple of days later, My friend’s partner said: “You do you! I’m sorry I said things that were demeaning, unmotivating, and unhelpful”. My friend said he wished we’d of had that conversation earlier while I was there. ...but I pretty much went over why in a previous post. That’s true. But that’s why I don’t mix with a lot of people in the community. There’s still a lot of judgmental ness in the scene. They may say they don’t mind or they don’t judge off the bat, but they inevitably end up passing on some “ideas” about things that tend to rub me the wrong way. But these 2 friends in particular I know they come from a good place. After this, I’m sure they know now that it’s not a subject to bring up with me.

Well again, obviously that’s an exorbitant amount and doesn’t speak for all asking a deposit. And that’s the point I was making about this whole thread...nobody is talking how much is being asked. There’s a difference between $50 and a $500. The point is to weed out flakes and/or prioritize the time arrangements of “confirmed” clients over “inquiries”. Not to make a down payment.

What you’re saying does cover a lot of basis and perspective, and there stands some truth. However, there just needs to be more input from the 3rd party before making a confirmed assessment on this person’s character and overall validity of collecting deposits. One thing that seems to be missing on the counts of those against deposits, is the amount being requested. Are we talking half the rate, the whole rate, or something that’s not much than the cost of an Uber which is $10-20. Last year I had a lil 22 year old kid send me $20 deposit via Apple Pay to come to his place. Reason being it was late in the evening, and he was clear across town. Shipping and handing. On the other hand, I ask for deposit whenever I’m in my home location city and someone requests that I host. Why? Because for me to host, I have to leave the place where I stay for free, to get a room. I don’t mind it: But what I do mind is doing it and the person requesting it flakes out. And in some cities, they flake out as a sport/hobby. Kansas City is notorious for that. “I can’t host, need to come to you”. Then conveniently bail 10 to 30 minutes prior because after all, it’s not their address being given out...so they don’t have anyone to answer to. After going thru that several times earlier this year, I decided to stop hosting. But then, one loses the clients they could have gotten by hosting. So I found the only way to compromise, is to request a small deposit from every person who requests me to host in this area. That way I don’t be wasting my time and money for someone who doesn’t plan to come. If you look at many escort ads, you’ll occasionally see “I DO NOT HOST”. And it’s probably for that same reasons, but I feel one can still host and still make sure a person shows up, by having the person requesting to host make a deposit. I’m doing exactly that today. I have an incall appointment today, and booked a hotel yesterday to host it. But the only reason I did it, is because the person sent a nominal deposit to at least let me know I’m not working with the “sorry I can’t make it today, something came up” brigade.

Just remember: when people are coming across RentMen, they are likely browsing more X rated material. You can be low key, but it’s not OkCupid or ChristianMingle. All good points for sure. Although, I always say there’s an exception to every rule. Couple of things you mentioned don’t always apply, but of course things change overtime and have to be updated (for example, talking to someone by phone before meeting. I can generally get around that because it’s easy to be able to verify someone before I even open the door or leave the house). And nowadays, the ones who call on the phone seem to be more prone to wasting our time than those who text. Especially the ones who call over and over. Like some idiot from Michigan called me several times between 7 and 730 am. Fortunately, I’ve learned to press the silent ring/send to voicemail button in my sleep. But I’m curious what’s your input in this thread about deposits which is currently running: https://m4m-forum.org/threads/escort-requesting-a-deposit.152148/

I have an update to this thread: I recently ported out the number I was using for my phone thru a VOIP for the past couple years, and moved it to regular service. Reason being, I was having occasional reports of clients not receiving my messages, and when I would send long messages, they would be sent in multiple messages. I had a client send me a picture of how my messages were coming in, with 4 messages for 1 message being sent, and the 3rd one showing up missing. Once I noticed that, I immediately begin the switching process. Took me about 3-4 days to get the number ported out of the VOIP, but I carried a spare phone anyway in case the service ever went out of business. I was glad to be able to keep the same number though. Also as of late, I’ve not come across a client with a VOIP number in awhile. At some point, they may be classified as private numbers like @Kevin Slater as mentioned: don’t answer.

There’s only 4 things that really matter when it comes down to an ad: 1) Your description 2) Your Pics 3) Your Reviews 4) Visibility/The city you’re in Once you put those together, the rest will fall into place. The pics are most important. Before I started escorting, I started doing modeling. But once I realized modeling by itself is not necessarily a money maker, that’s when I used it to jump start entry in the biz. Make a profile on model mayhem and find some photographers with credentials, before looking on Grindr. Really sit down and write your ad, maybe look at other ads to get your creative juices flowing, just don’t copy someone’s ad/style word for word. See if client would be willing to write review. Personally, trying to start out nowadays is harder than it was 10 years ago. I used to have a steady flow of clients with just 1 picture on Craigslist. Nowadays, everyone expects to see more. Having 4 G rated photos on a platform like RentMen where people can see any and everything, is simply not going to stand out. And of course, location location location. In a place like LA, even 5 star, established escorts could find it hard to generate enough traffic. Most of the clients I meet from LA, tend to be visiting a city that’s NOT LA lol. It’s not going to be an instant hit, and it takes time.

And I’ve been escorting for a long time. Yes I choose to travel because I am busier and do better for myself than staying in 1 city waiting for clients who never show. I’ve done that before. I lived in 5 states as an escort, and now temporarily in Kansas while I’m preparing for a move elsewhere. Elsewhere that’s proven to be better than this bullshit ridden KC market. Where everytime I come here, I have to deal with people’s games and nonsense back to back. Like they can’t read PRO AD MASSEUR on adam4adam, and don’t follow rules on RentMen. There have been times where if I didn’t have a tour planned and remained in the city I was in, it would have not been good. I made that mistake in Orlando last year. I was posted up for about 4 months straight only working the Tampa-Orlando market, and my finances suffered. Once I left, I started seeing better money. So now, I make sure before I even come back off tour, I have my next trip already laid out. I’m usually floating off the money I make on tour to make it thru the 2 or 3 week break I take. I’m not making 5,000 a month like I just did traveling, sitting around the same boring city watching paint dry. So that’s why I travel.

Thanks, certainly reverberates what I had to pretty much do. I think this has been the 1st time these particular friends have seen me get “angry” so to speak lol. Or at the least, defend my position without backing down. Like I said, one of them stated he wished I would have said it in person. But, I’ve gotten away from bickering with friends in person. I do it here, because nobody knows each other and I can walk away at anytime and forget it. But people just don’t seem to hear it unless you write it down. Especially in group conversations, people are so quick to distract from the subject, chime in, talk about somebody else’s issues, etc. I can never get my point across. Or things get too heated, and then it creates bad vibes. That’s why whenever I have a serious issue with someone, or want to let go a friendship, I’ll text/email or mail a letter (if it’s a business...considering most gays stopped writing letters to each other once texting and email came out lol). But like you say, I know they come from a helpful position, but the problem is it was coming from THEIR idea of helpful. And that’s what rubbed me wrong. If someone is going to give advice, give it as it relates to what it’s congruent to what I’m doing. Even though we have so much in common and get along so well, there’s no way in hell I could do their early morning work/hustle bustle lifestyle. And in reality, I didn’t even need the advice. I was in their state seeing clients, was traveling for the prior 4 weeks and was well supported when I was there (which is why I made it clear to @OliverSaks, I wasn’t complaining). So why do I need to sit and listen to somebody tell me I should look into getting a “job”. I felt offended. Regardless of the apology and clarification on both parts, our friendship probably won’t be the same. It just reminds me of a guy who I invited over to dinner years ago when I had my condo, and going to tell me I’m lazy for doing this. It just brings back the hurt and the feeling, of how can someone see you doing good for yourself, making it month after month, year after year, and still have the nerve to say you should make something of yourself. I feel like once someone crosses that line of making me feel that way, I just can’t risk it happening it again and let them know they won’t have 1 more time to criticize me.

You can keep your Xany bars. I’ve seen too many gay men get hooked on that stuff already. I think I’ll take medical advice from a doctor who doesn’t use bullying and the word “fucking” while prescribing the damn medication, but thank-you very much. Your tone is more like a mad scientist, or the Michael Jackson doctor. I prefer non-prescription alternatives to relaxing:

No, YOU stop. Like I said, I don’t have to justify anything. I’m just sharing my point of view, to someone who ASKED about it. Do you want the truth or the lie? Do you want to only hear: “no it’s not normal”...then find out otherwise that it is? I’ve already told y’all I have receipts. So what the hell do I need to prove, to myself? Lol. If you want to learn about different ways people operate, this would be a good place to do it. If you only want to hear about what you want to hear, then by all means...ignore the facts.

That’s the spirit! No harm, no foul. Perhaps we can have a sticky bear hug sometime ?

I don’t want to derail anyone’s thread, but since I’m being addressed, I’ll address: So you’re basically suggesting I take a controlled substance (bars) that I don’t have a prescription for? Have you not heard, WWJD? What would JW Mariott do? Certainly don’t think they would condone such usage. ...the paragraph below that could have easily been said without all the drama and sass, princess.

It wouldn’t be any more run with scammers than it is now. I’ve heard of clients being robbed and walked out on, money in hand...right in front of their face. How hard is it to collect money upfront, and then say, “I’ll be right back, I’ve got to run down to my car”? If you see that a provider is a professional porn star, has a website, has good reviews, a number that is connected to his profiles across various sites and is known in the business...how can you compare that to a Nigerian Scammer who is using completely falsified information, and is generally more sending you a check for a cash value, versus just asking for a deposit via Venmo, PayPal or cash app, which will generally include the provider’s photo and/or working name. Even on PayPal...I have a picture of myself but I don’t use my working name there. Let’s just all stop for a minute, and come back to earth. It’s one thing to not want to pay upfront to a complete stranger, but it’s not necessarily the same when you have an escort with credentials and receipts.

I’ve known clients to go to Walmart and send me deposits via moneygram. There was really never a question about deposits, until guys began coming along and fucking things up by not showing up. But even still, those with a good rep shouldn’t have an issue. But like I said, it doesn’t matter whether it’s common or if I’m the only person in the world who does it. Everybody is different. In my case, if I feel it’s necessary to ask I will. Like just today...I already had one person in Kansas City attempt to book an in-call today, before I could even get to the deposit part...his profile is deleted. In cities/websites where majority of the people contacting escorts aren’t likely to be serious, it would behoove one to make sure and get a deposit before making any plans.

Because many clients already have Venmo, PayPal and Cash App accounts as it is. And many are willing to do so. Of course there’s some who don’t. I try to work with everyone to give the best assurance on both sides. Well, then why have I had so many people send me deposits over time? Obviously I’m not the only escort in the world asking for them. But again, it’s all down to preference. I’ve had some escorts tell me personally they don’t want to accept deposits for out of town visits, because it obligates them to be there to meet the demands of the deposit. And as I said too: I don’t take a deposit for every appointment, only those that may involve extra preparation on my part...or to gauge the seriousness of a client. Sometimes I’ll even ask a deposit just to size someone up. One guy wanted to come with all these fantasies, but wanted me to host for it. Okay chump, well make a deposit and show me you’re going to show up. He just kept talking, but I didn’t see any deposit.

Thanks for explaining that. Unfortunately I can’t comment on the person’s specific requirements for asking for a deposit because I don’t know the extent of it. In my case, if someone doesn’t feel comfortable paying a deposit, I’m still willing to work something out. Even if they do, it’s usually something nominal. In your situation, it sounded like he was perhaps wanting you to be the “anchor” client to go to that city versus actually going there. But then again I don’t know. I can’t speculate on what someone else needs a deposit for, I can only express my own. Again, could be true but that’s speculation. We don’t know for sure. But to answer your second line, all of that may very well be true and an escort can understand all of those concepts, but it still doesn’t negate an individual person’s reasons to ask for a deposit. It’s like hotels: many hotels ask to hold money for a deposit, many don’t. Here’s another example for me: This year, I been taking a break from touring every 2 to 4 weeks, and I go “home”. Home means I’m not in a hotel everyday, home means I reside with other people, not to mention home is on an acreage of land an hour south of the metro city. Over the course of many years stopping in Kansas City (I would regularly drive between Denver and the east/south), I have gotten many people asking me to host...the nights I was in a hotel, people wouldn’t even show up. Now that it’s been my base, people still ask me to host...and I’ve had people cancel/no show just as I’m booking the hotel. So now, if someone wants me to host in Kansas City or any city where I already have a place to lay my head, but have to host a sexual encounter elsewhere, I have them confirm by leaving a small deposit. Otherwise I’d be running around booking rooms for every person who asks me to host, and be wasting my time if they only intend to cancel or go ghost before I even get there.

Explaining yourself isn’t your best asset is it, huh? YOU said to ask you how many Marriott employees you’ve had fire, so we asked. Don’t get fierce just because you asked us to ask you a question, and I asked it. That said, I was hoping you said 0 because a couple of my clients are Mariott employees, and it never crossed my mind to have them fired. But perhaps you were just referring to other staff or employees, which you didn’t specify. Hence what I said above. I’m sure we probably agree on a lot more than expected. Just gotta get to know me, bro