Mocha

Well here’s the thing: whether it’s common or not is the only question being posed. People are turning it into a “you should or shouldn’t you”, but the OP asked a very simple question...with no negative or positive feedback attached to it. Some of you haven’t even gotten the context of the question, no additional information. What if the escort is being asked to travel a long distance, to a small town (where’s theres few or no prospects of other appointments) and/or get a hotel to see the client? And I responded giving my perspective: yes it is common for me, but maybe for others it isn’t. And maybe for others it shouldn’t if a provider isn’t in the position where they can assure the visit taking place. As @MrMattBig said, it ultimately depends on the circumstances. If you don’t have to go out of your way, the new client is hosting at a hotel and has already provided the info/time which proves he’s there, or if you’re hosting in a place that’s already paid for, and there’s nothing/nobody you’ll be cancelling to do the appointment for...by all means maybe a deposit isn’t necessary. However I don’t feel those questions really matter. I tell new clients straight up all the time, it’s so that I know you’re serious....and 99% of the time I show up on the date. The times I didn’t, I either refunded the deposit or will go out of my way to be there and reschedule...which have sometimes meant staying in a city a couple days longer than planned. With Cash App, Venmo and PayPal being pretty much accessible with a click of a button, there’s no reason why nowadays anyone should be shocked by a deposit. Even if its $10, just to show you’re real. Uber does it, Lyft does it, all those little food ordering apps do it too. The more male escorts try to sell themselves (and others) short by not asking for chivalry, the less clients are going to give it. Everybody works differently, and most serious clients won’t “look for someone else”, but rather they’ll try to prove in some other way that they will be there as well. I’ve heard too many horror stories of escorts going places on their last $5 of gas, to some bogus clients. Get enough horror stories yourself, you learn real quick. ASAP. Excuse me but last night’s democratic debate has my debate gears revved up lol.

I’m going to concur but go a little off topic myself. I know the OP mentioned he’s generous...so somehow these guys are still “available” to being a RentMen. But no matter how many guys are posting on rentmen, and twitter, and various porn/escort sites...I still feel we are a minority. And the overall gay male community still looks down on us, or just don’t support it. Hence the thread about friends outside the business who just don’t understand. I can literally go weeks and months without ever crossing paths with another gay male sex worker. Unless I really look for it. Usually on platforms dedicated to gay male escorts. Sometimes I feel like we don’t even exist beyond the online realm. As prolific as we may seem on the web, and like every guy and his grandmother wants to sell dick or ass nowadays...go to any average gay bar or gay app...most of those guys are out here fucking and sucking for free, and they aren’t in any hurry to start paying or charging for it either. I did a 3 way with a guy the other night who just let me and the other top pummel the s**t out of his ass. I’m like damn, he could make a killing as a porn star or escort. But everytime we try to do a video he’s like “make sure my face isn’t in it”, and we’ve talked about escort work but he’s not into doing that. And no harm no foul, but it just goes to show. This work ain’t for everybody.

It is. Because it differentiates one from others who make cancel, forget or change plans at the time of booking. For providers like myself who receive many booking requests per day, it often helps to have a deposit arrangement set up, so serious clients aren’t getting their time held up by those who may not show. I usually only ask for them for incalls (where the client comes to me) because I’m often booking or extending hotel stays to host. But if when I’m traveling, I may ask regardless of if I host or travel. It’s pretty common. I have PayPal, cash app and Venmo for client’s convenience.

It was a joke, really. Unless 1 eye is really red because that facial or “cum on my chest” had other plans. True story ? Meaning they weren’t fired over it, or you had them fired over it? I should mention 1 more tidbit: again this shouldn’t apply if you’re just 1 or 2 person with 1 or 2 people. BUT.... I’ve had a couple clients relay me some advice in past. Don’t use the hotel’s WiFi if you can get signal on your phone instead. Also heard a story of someone who hosted sex parties (repeatedly, and probably soiled the extra linens that were being requested lol) at a hotel and eventually got “found out” by the hotel and they “seen his web browsing” somehow. I don’t know the specifics because it was someone who heard it from someone else...but it’s just all stuff to keep in mind. Moral of the story here is: If you/he are a guest, there should be no reason to feel uncomfortable. What you do in your hotel room is your business. But, unless you’re staying at a gay resort in Palm Springs or Wilton manors, you still have to look over your shoulder. And try to quickly dispose of condoms/wrappers in a discrete plastic bag/rolled up tissue paper. Again, if you’re a male it’s less of an issue than if you’re a woman. I can have a trash can full of condoms, but you can imagine if a woman is seen having the same thing it would raise a brow.

...and in reference to the video. It’s not because he’s “predisposed” to breaking his dick. It just means he probably got a big ole dick lol. The bigger something is, the more likely it is to snap. It’s like titanic: Now we know where “Rodman” comes from.

That’s so true. But see...this is exactly why I will occasionally stay at a red roof inn or similar “doors on the outside” hotel. Despite the fact that both escorts and clients alike tend to have their biases about them. When I was in DC last month, my busiest hotel was a doors on the outside hotel off the loop. I had 1 client who almost cancelled and I had to literally coach and coax him to just come to the hotel...because he felt it was too “out in the open” and he didn’t feel comfortable. Fortunately he came thru, and it turned out spectacular. But it goes to show, people feel this false sense of safety/discretion in an interior corridor hotel...but it’s much more discrete to spend 5 seconds walking from your car to the door versus walking thru a crowded hotel where there’s company happy hours, etc. going on and all 500 people get to watch you do the walk of shame back to the parking garage lol.

...I can’t with that video!!!!! That’s why I don’t practice rough sex or acrobatics. ...that said, when I was in school I used to get teased for “looking like” Dennis Rodman because of my natural hair color. Overtime though, mine got darker. And of course once he started changing it to various colors, it went so far away from being red.

That’s a tragedy...just in all sort of ways.

Let me just be clear early, before someone comes along and derails the whole entire thread and sends it off course. I’m not saying a client can’t or shouldn’t ask if an escort/masseur is in a certain city. I’m saying the ones who’s very 1st text message is nothing more than any variation of these. With no additional info asked or provided. 1. Are you in... 2. Hey (insert name of escort), are you in? 3. R U in (insert name of city) 4. U in (insert name of city) 5. U in (insert name of city) now? 6. Hi, (insert name of city)? 7. (Insert name of escort, no city). I’m being funny right now, but I’m not making this stuff up. I been doing this travel thing since 2009, sometimes I still feel like every trip involves a new strategy. It just boggles me how I put an ad in a city and almost right away people start hitting me up. I don’t mind being contacted right away, but contact me with some damn class. People act like they contacting a Grindr ad. I even had a repeat client hit me up few months ago the day I put my ad back in town. “U in KC?” he says. Sure enough, the meeting never happened because he was half assed about confirming the session, and I ended up telling him to kick rocks. I made a mistake yesterday by contacting about 8 people who I missed between 4 cities last week, to rule out any error. It’s like why bother. These people have nothing better to do than to contact traveling escorts with the fantasy of meeting, but never end up doing it. Like why the are you even hitting me up, if you’re not invested in meeting as planned. And their responses when I try to get a resolve doesn’t appear to be fond of the biz. Then some get miffed, talking sideways, saying I’m trying to scam or rob them because I ask to be reimbursed for their flaking out, despite me taking time to return their text in often inconvenient times (driving to a client, snuggled in bed, out with friends, etc.) Nobody called you. You called me. They wouldn’t say Uber or Lyft is scamming them when they contact a driver to show up because they charge or authorize their credit card right away, before the driver even gets there. Some don’t understand the concept that we are On the CLOCK the moment they text us. I don’t get paid to bullshit round the clock and answer vague text messages on the premise of “it’s just an inquiry”. As if you get to text Uber, “hey, how clean are your wheels? How long you been driving? Can you drive fast to the destination? How big is your stick? What’s your drivers license number? I went to about 9 different cities over the past month and even though I’m eternally grateful for all the wonderful clients who did show up (even making some new friends on Venmo lol), it just still blows me how many messages from people there are who don’t follow thru. It’s like every city I go to there’s always 1 person or 2 who’s got to try to waste time. Short of automatically sending the link to make a deposit on their very 1st text, it gets exhaustive. It’s one thing to chat with a provider about a future meet over email or something. That’s not an issue. But it’s quite different when someone texts my number with a sense of urgency, but then can’t be bothered to have the decency to give a response midstream.

No, no, no lol. see this is why I don’t do he said, she said stuff lol. You took something I said and mixed it up. It wasn’t my friend. It was a guy friend I know who’s ex partner (who’s also an ex-escort) had went thru. It had nothing to do with a client sending a friend’s and family form, and an escort using it. That particular situation was more along the lines of the ex-escort having access to an employee code, and likely making fake documents to show he was an employee, when he wasn’t. But...I’m not going to gossip because I don’t even know who the ex-escort was, never met him. It was simply something I said to relate to another topic, but I have no personal knowledge of it myself. That’s why I’m not even naming the hotel chain or the city...

Then perhaps you should sign up then! A typical Gold Ad on Rentmen is $79.95. Show us how you can handle all 750 guys that will text you in a given month, and try to be perfectly into each one ?

I figured out that there’s only 3 main things hotels will “get you” for (even more than skid marks on the bed, which is why out of courtesy I now carry my own top sheets lol): 1. Smoking/Damage 2. Not paying/Checking out when due. 3. Pets Because of #3, I had to give up traveling with pets despite some hotel chains allowing it. And I got tired of reading, “and if you don’t notify us of a pet, a $150 cleaning fee applies”. Occasionally there will be a hotel that doesn’t allow guests who aren’t checked in. Had that happen once in Mesa, Arizona. I was so annoyed. I had to come down and let him in, and listen to “we normally don’t allow guests in rooms”. Definitely won’t stay there again on my next trip to Phoenix.

If it helps you any, I have had 2 clients who are employees of such chains. And they gladly give me their friends n family discount. In that regard, there really should be no obvious signs. Even if they did, what are they going to do? Have pictures printed of every escort posted on RentMen and holler out, “HEY, Stop right there! You are a sex worker, You need to leave!” Is that the kind of attention Marriott wants? I doubt it. I just had a hotel clerk the other week leave me a cute little crush note and his phone number...asking me to dinner. I was like that’s so sweet, but I reached out to him on my personal phone and not my working line (so he can’t go snooping around later). And after that, I booked another night at the hotel when he was not working that day...and took in a client. What if he found out I was an escort later, and? What is he going to do? Nothing. Unless the hotel specifically says no guests are allowed, you’re well within your right to being whoever you want to bring to his/your hotel room. For all they know, you’re reimbursing me for my hotel cost and for traveling all this way to see you. That’s what people are supposed to do lol. I understand being paranoid, but sometimes you just have to think rationally about circumstances. Sex trafficking is different than a single man or 2 being seen together in a hotel.

I don’t know the exact situation about the hotel incidents. It didn’t come directly from the person, but from a 3rd party, and now I’m a 4th party. So the exact situation leading up to is likely to be unknown. I’m not “young” like 19 or 20 and new, but I still do better now than I did when I started at 19 and 20. Like I’ve said before, 30-40 is that sweetspot age where you’re young enough to be a boy, but old enough to be a daddy lol.

Unfortunately “the idea of hiring an escort really turns me on” doesn’t really say much about what you’re actually looking for. What is it about hiring an escort that you are looking to get, that you can’t get from elsewhere? (if you claim you’re not that ugly, which of course is not a checkpoint to indicate someone should hire an escort). People wrongly think only repulsive types hire escorts. It’s just not true. Are you introducing yourself when you contact these guys? Are you including some details about your wants and expectations? Are you only going after the pictures, or are you reaching out to guys who seem compatible to you and your desires?

.

That’s exactly what I told them later. But when I tell them these things in person, people always have a “but WHY?” You could do this and that and then apply for this and that loan...I’m like dude, you’re telling me something at a time when I’m trying to first figure out how I’m going to make it thru 2 to 3 weeks in Kansas City off tour, because I have $900 car repair bill...knowing the last time I was in Kansas City off tour I went 3 whole weeks with not a single client, despite over a dozen bullshit messages. Just like I’ve already had to put up with over the past 2 days. Please, give me 1 more thing to stress about ??‍♂️ At that point, nothing I say matters because without them knowing my STORY, all they can see is me having sex for money because it’s all I can do for myself. That’s why I had to sit down and really put it in writing ✍? that I won’t be having any further discussions about career changes unless I need them to give me an opinion. Well, if that works for you that’s fine. However, you choose to have 1 foot in, 1 foot out. So you’re not going to understand someone who’s in it Full scale. I have clients all over the country as well, I realize if I only did this as a side gig, I wouldn’t be able reach the same following or see all the places I’ve seen over time. I can understand keeping things to yourself to an extent, but it comes a point where transparency is better than keeping a low profile. With these friends, I’ve known them for 4 years, and in that length of time...it’s hard to keep it on the low. In some situations, not telling people tends to strain relationships moreso than telling. So I tend to opt towards telling confidential friends, but once I start seeing these friends being frivolous with my information and then trying to poke fun...I am QUICK to cut someone off. I dealt with that in the 1st half of my escort career, I’m less tolerant of it in my 30s.

Update: after I wrote this thread I decided to just send them both a (long as hell lol) Facebook messenger group chat similar to what I posted here (but in a more informative way without trying to make them feel bad about it, and since they are a couple, I felt it was best to include both of them). The partner did apologize and admitted his position wasn’t effective. My friend said he wish I’d of told him then in person, but said everything is cool but he needs to take it all in. I told him I really didn’t feel like dissing his advice and explaining all of that in person, and plus I wasn’t even offended right then and there. It’s the afterthought that got me thinking. Plus it was our last day together, I didn’t want to leave off on a bad note. But I sent it the very next night, so it didn’t seem like I was stewing, but didn’t send it the same night I left as it would have seemed like I was too afraid to say it in person. I slept on it, made sure it wasn’t just a passing thought, and delivered it. I had various alternatives. Escorting was never on my mind as something I wanted to do. I always thought I wanted to ride thru college doing call center type jobs. But then I realized how toxic those places tend to be, and left that line of work entirely after about 4 years. Most of the comments are coming from people’s fear and “not being able to see themselves doing it” and their wanting me to live the conventional lifestyle they are. And it’s nothing about me wanting to live some outlandish hippie lifestyle. I just choose to make my coin the way I make it. But I’m not trying to keep up with the latest iPhone/new car/city living trends, and work myself to death to maintain it. And that’s fine, you won’t see me over here suggesting anyone to get into escorting or becoming a business owner. Whenever some of my friends have described their unemployment/layoff situations...I never invite them to do what I’m doing in order to get back on their feet. Laid off from work? They cut your hours? You got fired? “You should TOTALLY become an escort. Stop waiting around for someone to give you a paycheck and get out there and sell YOURSELF!” Doesn’t sound so great when it’s reversed huh?

.

That’s all true, but I’ve heard from time to time before on sites like Adam: “Thanks, but I’m going to stick to my regular guy who does my massage for $60, AND he fucks me afterwards”. Or any variation of that, generally along those lines. Im tempted to follow up, “that’s fine, my regular client who pays me $300 will be happy to see me”. So sometimes, clients get to feel the sting of rejection from the other end too. Shoe on the other foot, so to speak. It’s a dick move on both sides (using someone else’s prices or payment in a passive aggressive manner in an attempt to express their anger for being unable to get someone to submit to their requests), but it’s not assumed that everyone advertising or looking is morally literate.

But talking about making thousands, I just added up all of what I made on my latest 30 day tour. I was shocked at the number to be much higher than I felt. But when I add up, subtract and divide what I spent on hotels, not including little things here and there...it’s almost as if I only had a little over $100 a day. The numbers show I should be in a much better position than where I am now. But hard to do when such a big chunk goes to hotels. A friend of mine told me of his X who was an escort and somehow was able to rig the employee discount of a particular hotel chain to his benefit. He ended up doing some jail time for that, but I’m like shit...that’s awesome, I don’t blame him. It’s like when you hear about music artists, they may be making multi-million$...but after they pay everyone, tour/stylist/band/etc , they may only have hundreds left lol. Fortunately, I take it in stride considering I’ve still accomplished a lot this year.

When I’m not out meeting clients, most every guy I hookup with has the “attributes” to become a RentMan. I don’t introduce them to the site nor say, “this is what I do, we should work together” except on occasional circumstances. The times I did and it resulted in a meeting, it interfered with whatever tailored connection I could have had with the client. But most of the times, the guys have no interest in becoming an escort, even though they could very well be one. I actually gave a guy some money in DC because he was like 21, and his ass was so good...after he left I said hey, come back...let me give you some money. He wasn’t expecting that, and of course I never told him I’m a hooker either. Though we did talk about our doing porn experiences. I know you’re saying your situation is different because you’re an older guy, who sounds like with very younger guys. So I can see why you’d suggest it. Personally it’s not my place to tell what you should or shouldn’t recommend to someone. People are going to do what they do regardless. But, if you really don’t want to feel responsible for an unintended outcome (you didn’t clarify whether you’re paying these guys cash or not) perhaps they may only see you “professionally” after awhile, or maybe being in the business doesn’t turn out to be healthy for them, you may have to live with the partial responsibility. At the same time, I can’t help but feel slightly skeptical about the story. If he was living in his car and making thousands, then that would insinuate he had to have been doing only outcalls. And in a flooded market like Dallas, I just can’t see that making up the bulk of appointments. On most of my visits to Dallas, people could only come to me (they couldn’t host). And I’m pretty sure hotels take up anywhere from 20-40% of what I get when traveling. I’d be in a much better position if I didn’t have to cough up for hotels when I do. Not being a hater, but I just don’t always buy into these “I started advertising on RentMen and struck it rich” stories. I feel if someone is going to tell a story, share the whole picture. Based on all the stories we hear on the forum about clients flaking and even long time escorts preparing the leave the business, transparency is key. Was his rates lower than the expected RentMen rates? Are these guys perhaps under-cutting other providers by charging much lower prices (e.g. $100 for full service). Then you say he was “working” (as an escort or as an employee elsewhere?), so maybe his other job may have catapulted him being able to get a furnished apartment, not so much the escort part. I say if you do introduce non-advertising escorts to RentMen, make sure it’s not with the intent to suggest guys a chance to under-cut the market.

I had a 3 way last night with 2 non-penniless straight-ish guys last night lol. At the end, one of the guys said, I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend, so let’s keep this between us.... Then he said something about wanting to have a 3 way live in relationship. I was like bro...you should think about moving to Utah lol Not taking sides, but I can attest I am one of the ones he dropped more than 200 for, and there was no haggling on his behalf. However, being familiar with Latin Culture, “bargaining” is not as looked down upon than it is here in the states. Different cultural norms shouldn’t be classed as “haggling”.

Well during the time I was there, I stayed far north. Like almost to Milwaukee lol. Earlier this year I did stay close to Jackhammer, but even then. In a car, it’s kinda hard to really tell what’s “far” in a city like Chicago that just spans and spans. I think cities like Chicago and LA, (and maybe even Charlotte) it’s not required to be in the central areas to catch some clients. Obviously there’s going to be people who won’t want to travel more than 2 miles outside of their neighborhood, but in a place as expansive and dense as Chicago (and the Bay Area), you can pretty much pick up a client anywhere you choose to be. I can save money and stay in Mateo and work the SFO crowd, or spend a little extra and work the Castro/Folsom crowd. Only difference to me is whether I feel like being in the city or the suburbs. But I feel business in the center of cities are drying up because you’re competing with other providers, phone apps, and all the available gay resources that are generally available in the city (Midtown spa, Steamworks, “the clubs”, etc.) So for me, it rarely seems to be required to get a higher priced hotel downtown, when most of the biz seems to be on the outskirts. At least for me in most cities. Even my latest trip to DC, I only met 1 actual DC resident, the rest were from Maryland and NOVA. But in some cities, the traffic is so bad and the suburbs so conservative, you almost have to stay close to or in downtown to see anyone (Denver, Philadelphia, Boston)

As someone who usually does the solo route, but have had travel buddies here and there, I think it could work to an extent. Perhaps someone who has experience traveling in pairs could chime in. In my experience, I’ve traveled with non-escorts to cities and split expenses. I’ve bumped into a couple flight attendants along the way (wish I knew more because they get their rooms free lol) Maybe that’s something you could look into. I think it could work except the sharing a hotel room part would have to be assessed. Are y’all going to work together, or is one going to leave the room and come back? What if 1 king bed is the only option? I personally prefer always king beds and not many hotels have 2 king beds lol. Me personally, I think I would do it only with the intent of keeping it as independent as possible, but perhaps “available to work with...” Maybe do the commute part of the travel together, eat out together, do videos etc. At the same time, I understand travel is far too unpredictable. Ive stayed in cities longer and shorter than planned, skipped cities, had alternate endings in cities...I wouldn’t want to hold someone up. What I generally do when I go to cities, is meet someone outside of the business and befriend them. They usually keep me company (without being in direct competition) and can direct me to the local haunts in the area. I feel working with another escort (especially one you don’t necessarily know too well) and traveling together, may really take careful consideration.