glutes

I am biased, the dog comes before the hooker.

An experience trying to hire this guy…
1. I broke my rule – no deposits.
2. I had trouble paying him the deposit which should've been a red flag.
3. He required a $300 deposit to talk on the phone.
4. His English is abysmal. Every other English word is interrupted from the next with "es como," which I looked up and in Spanish is the equivalent of the English filler word "like."
5. He told me the arrangement was that we would go on a trip. That had been the first thing I had floated with him months ago, but in the course of discussing things since then, the plan had changed. He also didn't want to hammer out any plans from the get-go until I paid the deposit. Another red flag I ignored.
6. When it was clear that he was having trouble communicating verbally with me, another voice came on the phone. I asked who it was but never got satisfaction. He wanted to switch to texting because he could communicate better that way. No argument there. He probalby runs things through a translator.
7. When we got to text, he insisted that the arrangement had changed and that he agreed because he wanted to have a good time. Which smacks of selfishness. I told him I wanted my $300 back (I had little hope I'd get it back, but it was worth a shot) but he said he was keeping it because the arrangement had changed. I did tell him that his priority to have a good time was misplaced; that his priority should be customer satisfaction. I also told him I’d be sharing this experience here. He never responded after that. Likely he blocked me.
 

So unless you want a quicky with little-to-no conversation, this isn't your guy. I don't know where the good reviews are coming from. Perhaps people who speak Spanish.

I am biased, the dog comes before the hooker.

I am biased, the dog comes before the hooker.

For $500, he better be doing some backflips and dancing in addition to massage. 
 
if people didn’t pay him, he would have to reduce his price. But market dictates - if he gets it, that’s what he’s worth. 

Unless he had to travel at least 2 hours to get to your home, $450 is an absurd price for a massage. Absolutely  bonkers. And then he shook you down for a tip. 

That is one to avoid. 

With all the shit going on in the world, here's a man and hound who will  give a uplift to your day!
 
https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/02/nyregion/dog-backpack-adopt.html?smid=url-share
 

Not yet. I remember my dad telling me, "Write a note, then sit on it for 24 hours before sending it".

I am biased, the dog comes before the hooker.

I took one for the team. He gave me an address in a seedy section of SOMA, but went anyway. Rang the bell at specified address, the gentleman who answered said there was no one named 'Serene' there.
Blessing in disguise, the apartment looked and smelled horrible.
Dodged a bullet methinks.

I am biased, the dog comes before the hooker.

With all the shit going on in the world, here's a man and hound who will  give a uplift to your day!
 
https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/02/nyregion/dog-backpack-adopt.html?smid=url-share
 

I am biased, the dog comes before the hooker.

I am biased, the dog comes before the hooker.

Not yet. I remember my dad telling me, "Write a note, then sit on it for 24 hours before sending it".

I am biased, the dog comes before the hooker.

I am biased, the dog comes before the hooker.

I am biased, the dog comes before the hooker.

I am biased, the dog comes before the hooker.

I took one for the team. He gave me an address in a seedy section of SOMA, but went anyway. Rang the bell at specified address, the gentleman who answered said there was no one named 'Serene' there.
Blessing in disguise, the apartment looked and smelled horrible.
Dodged a bullet methinks.

I am biased, the dog comes before the hooker.

I am biased, the dog comes before the hooker.

I am biased, the dog comes before the hooker.

I am biased, the dog comes before the hooker.

I am biased, the dog comes before the hooker.