GHart

When I was a young and somewhat innocent gayling, there was an interesting and often unpredictable street scene on a street I’m reasonably sure no longer even exists. 
 
I haven’t lived in DC in pretty close to half a century (Yikes. I’m fucking old.) but the street I’m talking about is (was!) Half Street SE. It was home to one of my favorite dance clubs at the time, The Other Side. If I’m not mistaken, The Follies was across the street. (Some of you sharper men might confirm that or correct me as the case may be.)
 
But to the point of another poster on this thread, I don’t believe it’s solely due to my age that I miss the socializing that use to happen on the streets of so many cities. The apps will never replace that. Well, not successfully, at any rate. 

When I was a young and somewhat innocent gayling, there was an interesting and often unpredictable street scene on a street I’m reasonably sure no longer even exists. 
 
I haven’t lived in DC in pretty close to half a century (Yikes. I’m fucking old.) but the street I’m talking about is (was!) Half Street SE. It was home to one of my favorite dance clubs at the time, The Other Side. If I’m not mistaken, The Follies was across the street. (Some of you sharper men might confirm that or correct me as the case may be.)
 
But to the point of another poster on this thread, I don’t believe it’s solely due to my age that I miss the socializing that use to happen on the streets of so many cities. The apps will never replace that. Well, not successfully, at any rate. 

I think there is a misunderstanding here. Expecting a tip is fine, asking for one is not fine. Imagine if your waiter in a restaurant or your hairdresser verbally asked you “How much will you tip?”
But this is especially a problem since asking for tip in exchange for extra services would get the place closed, and forbidden to do business, if the client is an undercover policeman. This has happened to Time Square Men Spa very recently, another spa which is only 10 blocks from HK men spa. And it will happen again. 

@NJF that’s all well and good. More power to those with the luxury of time and money to enjoy leisure on work trips. If I had that luxury, I would much rather choose a place I personally want to visit (versus where is good for business) and take a real vacation. No planning my time or accommodations around clients. Just rest, relaxation, and enjoying new experiences.
My approach is work hard, play hard. I hustle on work trips. I relax on vacation. Trying to do both at the same time makes both goals less achievable. At least for me. More power to those who mix both. I can’t.

It won’t.
Even the world most advanced AI has no fucking clue what he’s trying to say.

There’s a difference between setting expectations and micromanaging execution. If I book a provider and say I want a boyfriend experience or a dominant top, that’s me setting expectations. In my opinion, it’s not my job to tell him how to get and maintain an erection. With what I’m paying, I would hope he knows how to cross the finish line.
How would I even know if a provider needs Trimix or Viagra? And if I start insisting they take it, does that mean I’m responsible for providing or paying for it? That doesn’t make sense. If they need something to perform, that’s for them to figure out—not for me to manage or finance.

No it's not, wise ass.  If you tell the top he needs to use Trimix before he arrives, or STRONGLY recommend he does, you're guaranteed to get the erection your hole desires and not have to be haggling with him at the door.

Actually you should name names….
What if this is this guy’s shtick? He knows he’s a catfish, he knows the client is going to be uninterested, and he knows the client is going to feel guilty and pay him…
Imagine making $300 + per hour  to turn people OFF? 
 
That dude is brilliant!! 

Respectfully, I don’t think a client should have to tell a provider how to do his job. Once I’ve communicated what I hope to get from the experience—whether it’s a boyfriend experience, a hard fuck, or something else—it’s on the provider to handle the rest. I’m a bottom, so I make sure I’m fully clean and prepped—that’s my responsibility. I don’t expect a provider to tell me that, just like I wouldn’t expect to have to tell a top that he needs Viagra or Trimix. How would I even know? That’s on him to manage.
Beyond that, even asking could be insulting or set the wrong tone before we’ve even met. I don’t want to start things off by implying I doubt his ability to perform. If a provider needs something to stay hard, that’s his responsibility to figure out—not mine.

Walk up and ask HIM.  Even if 99 say No, 1 will say Yes.  Don't wait to be pursued.  The Constitution guarantees every citizen the right to Pursuit of Happiness, but you must do the pursuing!
This used to happen to me, too.  Men on apps would be begging to come over and have sex with me.  I finally decided to make my standard reply: "I'll be at XX bar tomorrow night at 10pm, if you want to meet me there".  9 out of 10 flaked.  But 1 showed up... And that's a date.  Have the will power to keep your legs closed until after meeting him in public first.  The 1 out of 10, or 1 out of 100, who show up is what is it is.  In the meantime, you're out of the house and off your telephone enjoying the wonderful city in which you live.

You asked for perspective. I gave it — based entirely on the words you’ve chosen to share across multiple threads.  I took the time to read all your posts. Every thread. Every analogy. Every rationalization. That’s more than most people — including, apparently, the multiple therapists you’ve cycled through — have managed to get through to you.  You may not like the reflection, but don’t confuse that with me lacking empathy. I simply stopped co-signing the story you keep telling yourself.
Privilege doesn’t guarantee connection — but denying its role entirely isn’t self-awareness, it’s avoidance. And calling disagreement “lack of empathy” is just a convenient way to dodge anything that makes you uncomfortable.
I’m double your age. I’ve lived long enough to know the difference between real confusion and performative helplessness. You say you want intimacy, but you treat it like something you’re owed — a reward for doing the “right things,” instead of something you build by showing up without a script.
You talk about being emotionally ready, but what you really want is emotional certainty — the kind you think you can buy, control, or talk your way into. You intellectualize your loneliness, compare yourself to others, and twist analogies to sound reflective, when really, you’re just spinning in place.
Let’s be clear: you didn’t come here for conversation. You came for validation. And when you didn’t get it, you called it judgment.
At a certain point, this stops being a request for advice and starts being a waste of everyone else’s time. Including yours.

Tried to book him. He asked me to text him a picture of myself. “Oh, I’m sorry.” I replied. “I’m not interested in dating you. I wanted to hire you to give me a massage.” 

Yes, implying PrEP is for bottoms only is totally irresponsible. Get educated.

I'm always cautious about asking for a masseuse. 

The news this morning clarified that it was not a sex worker but a “troubled woman” he had counseled.

I usually don't set any desires forth with a massage, except in answer to a direct question. I like to see where the masseur will go without any expression of desire from me.

Only thing getting burned out is my bank account!

Then you certainly won't like what I have done in a hotel elevator 🛗 

I actually like his profile pics. But I’m weirded out by what he’s written in the About Me section: 
 
”I am mid forties I have a very good rate and am available for travel in NYC , I have a dad bod athletic build work out and I am open to a regular thing I need the call before Dec 17 Thanks”
 
What does he mean by “I need the call…”?
 
And he says “a very good rate,” but under Rates it says (of course) Ask. 
 
Luckily, Dec 17 has come and gone. 😅 

I’m so confused. I didnt post any links or mention his appearance. Chiseled or not.  Find it hard to reconcile your suggested age of 60 with the pictures - looks like a regular “40-something” guy. 
If that is “60”, I look forward to it. Havent met the guy so cant speak to actual appearance and witholding judgement.
The comment (“this link leads you to some old, bald guy who looks like a trailer trash meth-head”)  makes you sound like a 19 year old sorority girl gossiping.

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Has anyone here had any experience with this provider? Would like to know whatever you’re willing to share. Feel free to send a private message if you prefer. 
 
Thank you!

These are all great. I would add having a consistent look across their photos. Having a beard in one, and being clean shaven in another, or blond hair in one and brunette in another, etc, are all turn-offs that make me stop and wonder which is one is most accurate.

None of which happened in UPPER Manhattan, so your point is still idiotic. And none of those things compare to how dangerous NYC was when I was growing up there in the 1970s and 1980s. Those were the good ol' days!

I still don't understand why.