soloyo215

I cannot agree more. When it comes to relationships, I have what I call "a resume". Before my husband of 22 years, I had several other relationships. All of them started what people seem to think it's the "right way", that is, meeting in a place/setting that doesn't involve cruising or sex, date and get to know a little bit before decide to have sex. Not rushing things, getting to know a little more about their world, family, friends, etc. All of that I did. Not a one of those relationships went anywhere. In fact, some of them were quite toxic and dysfunctional. I cannot agree more. With my now husband, I knew what his ass tastes like before learning his name. We fucked the hell of each other in a place that definitely deserves the title of "dirty place" because is was seedy and filthy. We paired up fucking every other guy who came to that filthy place, and took turns in some impromptu gangbang. We exchanged numbers, and I forgot about it, as I was living in NJ, and that encounter was in Philly. About a month later I decided to take another trip there and called him, and we agreed to meet at a cafe. That was our first date, and I had no idea that it was (I was more interested in tallking about what groups sex setting we were going to partake that day). The rest is... not exactly history, actually. We decided to date, but then I lost my job in NJ, then my car, then my apartment, and in the meantime I decided to apply for a job in Philly and got it, so within a month of "dating" I was already living with him, which is supposed to be another big "no no" in the gay dating advise world. We never had a honeymoon period because immediately serious problems started happening on both our individual lives. He lost his job, I lost my mom, he got really sick, then I got really sick, then his new job had different schedule and we never saw each other, we went from dating to family crisis. And there were times that love was not the reason why we stayed together. Need and staying together being the least bad option was what kept us together at times. And here we are, 22 years later and cannot live without each other. So yes, life is never an either/or thing. Possibilites always exist in unlikely places and settings.

Yes, didn't feel funny at the time, but it does now, especially knowing that he doesn't seem to be around anymore. Probably burned too many bridges behind him, who knows. About the money, I figure it's best to cut my loses and accept that not all of these experiences are going to be as expected. He should have not charged me at all (IMO), but that was part of his lack of professionalism.

Interesting topic. In my experience, and also witnessing the life of people I care about, friends and family, I have seen many times the issue of lack of intimate connection, and ways of dealing wit it, many times. Personally I have concluded that this is part of people's own journey in life, and I am no one to tell what (or if there) is a right way of dealing with our own desire for intimate connections. First, I've found that what that means for different people is not the same. Some men are quite happy with having casual affairs every now and then and living their lives by themselves. Others seem to have a strong need and starve for the care and attention of another man in an intimate way, and have taken care of it in ways that are healthy, and in ways that are unhealthy. One of my friends is in some kind of recovery program from sex addiction, which he defines as en excessive consumption of his own financial and emotional resources in the pursue of intimacy and excitement in the form of casual sexual encounters. He told me that he has "tried it all" in the sexual expression arena. His recovery program seems to be focused in looking for that connection in ways that are not harmful to him. I'm no mental health expert, so I cannot comment on how effective his approach is. He seems ok and he's still my friend, so I guess that whatever he's doing works for him. Early in my adult life as a gay man, I immediately started noticing the issue of disconnection between us. I remember thinking "How come that we are so many, we know each other, we are together, we live the same or similar experience, we suffer similar social oppresions and struggles and yet, it seems like we just fail to find each other?" Through the decades, I've seen many gay men expressing their loneliness and starve for intimate connections, but sadly, when you take a closer look, none of their actions, attitudes and beliefs lead to legitimately looking for it, or willingness to provide it to others. Some are more interested in physical attributes, social status, or in the ridiculous fantasy of getting intimacy from a heterosexual man (a person who by the very definition of who they are, doesn't like you and has no interest in intimacy with you). Some providers have offered me their friendship, and I have accepted it in some cases. One masseur actually hinted me that wanted to get to know me a little more (that's when I told him that I forgot to mention that I am married). My point is that even if there is a slight possibility that a provider might show some interest in something deeper, the reality and the possibility are minimal, and that is aside from the degree of comfort that a client might have with the provider continuing providing to other clients, had something deeper develops. Then there's the issue of what does such intimacy look to you. Does it involve love, sex, frienship, support, presence when you are in need, or a combination of any of the above? That is something that we define for our own selves, and then that's something that we decide where (or if) to look for it. I hope you find what you need and find it in a way that is healthy for your wellbeing and for your wallet.

what I have learned is that there are providers with multiple appointments, so they try not to wear themselves out too much. I personally go into an appointment with a provider with that as a premise, that I am most certainly not the one and only person that they are going to see that day. I am ok with them not coming if they don't want to, for as long as I have a good experience. Yes, the more the provide knows about what you'd like to experience, the better they can tell you if they can accommodate.

No, you are not squeamish. You do what you are comfortable doing in a service that you are paying for. I know that there's some fucking involved, but let's not forget that the massage part is supposed to be relaxing to start with. I had a horrible experience with people in the apartment of a masseur I once hired. It was not a roommate, they were visitors, and yes, the exact thing that we don't want to happen, happened, them walking around and interrupting, and it wasn't a pleasant experience at all. They were passing by as I was getting the massage, and apologies from the masseur didn not make any difference. The experience was very unprofessional (he did not say anything about other people in his NYC apartment beforehand) and I decided to cut it short. Gave him a bad review, he changed his profile, probably to avoid the bad review(s) and later disappeared from the sites. Your provider was quite professional when he told you ahead of time. You were very clear stating your discomfort with it, so I think the situation was handled properly and professionally on both parts. Of course, there's always the fantasy that the roommate is some hot guy who also gets naked and joins the massage/fucking when they see you, but what are the real chances of that? So no, IMO, you're not bveing a prude. It's supposed to be a private, intimate and relaxing experience without disruptions and worries about other people present. I'd be very thankful to the provider for being clear and upfroint about it. He's very professional.

I echo the others about relaxing and taking a breathe. I also agree about ignoring him. I imagine that by now the threatening messages have stopped. I wouldn't engage in conversation with him at all, but if for some reason you decided to do that, try to let him know that your intent was to have an encounter, but you had an emergency. Also make it clear that the threats are being documented. nAgain, I wouldn't try to reason with a person that is that volatile. Report the threat to the website RM. If they need evidence, you have it. Not a pleasant thing to go through, but high chances are that nothing else will happen other than empty threats that will get him in trouble. I'd also suggest that in the future, do disclose his name in this forum. You will be helping other prospective clients.

The question look a little general. I can only speak for myself, but I browse in websites that cater providers. In their profiles I get information about their physiques and things that they (at least claim) that they are into. When I decide to make contact, I inquire about the things that interest me, even if they state them in their profile because they can change their mind or might not be accurate about it. Also some things in the website are rather vague. I'd suggest to make sure that you know (and are comfortable asking about) what is important to you, what does it for you, and what you expect in a session. The more clear you are, the more information the provider has, and the better they can tell you if they can provide for you. Also don't be shy or embarassed to ask for what you like doing or having. For example, many clients care about penis size. I don't (within reason), that's not a deal breaker for me. Others care more about role (top, bottom, versatile, and the now made-up nonsensical "sideways"). Others like specific practices (kissing, fisting, I don't know, whatever). It has to come from you. I agree that reviews are not fully reliable. However, the way I use them is by reading them all, or as much as I can when they are too many, to identify themes that emerge, things that tend to be common in many or most of the reviews. That's what tells me something about the provider, not the specific words that the reviewers post. Best.

My two cents: Yes, be clear and direct, but please don't come across too pushy or creepy when doing so. Have a conversation about it, regardless of the communication format that you use. Most providers state their preferred method of communication in their profile, and if they prefer to change it when dealing with certain topics, they will tell you to call or talk in person.

First, welcome to the forum. I can only provide (and maybe) some insights based on my own experiences, but by now you might know that different people experience different things. I didn't struggle with feelings afterwards when I decided to finally hire because I did not hire until I was sure that I was not going to have feelings of regret, shame, embarassment or anything negative that can impact my wellbeing. (Probably like you are doing now) I decided that it was more workable for me if I worked on those feelings and their source first. I rarely take actions that I am not 100% sure I can take without consequences. What I found in my case were the typical twisted notions of sex within a client/provider setting coming from my Christian upbrining, which were quite hypocritical and inappropriate. Something else that I found was that I was already paying and had paid for sex many, many times before in other ways: Going to bath houses Going to peepshows Going to adult movie places Paying for drinks at a bar to a guy I'm interested in Going to sex parties None, not a one of those things are free, and the purpose of all of them is sex. So yes, I have been paying for sex for quite some time. Then there's the convenience factor. Some of the service that I have looked for in providers have to do with my overal mental and physical wellbeing; it's noit just sexual pleasure alone. Others look for a deeper connection in the form of a "boyfriend experience". Like you, I am married and I have no interest in having any committed relationship with another person. My husband does not/cannot provide everything there is for me to have in terms of physical or sexual contact (no need to get into details on that). I also found that something that helped was the use of sensual and erotic massages since it is meant to be a relaxing, "put you at ease" experience with sensual/sexual elements. I'm not a provider, so I will not comment on the question that you have to them. I defer to expertise on that. I hope this helps. Again, welcome to the forum.

Personally, I think that though we don't have a formal place where we, clients get reviewed, it's best to look at who really is at the disadvantage. They are not Uber drivers, nor technical support technicians. They provide a service that is illegal if practiced certain way, with no legal protections and with a high level of risk. They expose themselves to people who they don't know. So, considering that, I don't see any imbalance in the entire scheme of things. Crimes and nasty things can come from both sides, but I really believe that the providers are the ones at a higher risk.

Yes, I have seen a range in everything, including age, bosy type. However, in my experience "masculine" means different things to different people, so I guess you'd have to judge the masculinity of the provider for yourself. The place that I mentioned that looks like they are going to rob me does have some types that might fit in that description. Good to know about the Hamam. Their ad says that they also cater women, and I had the hunch that it didn't look too quality. Thanks. I'm going back to PVR soon in the spring, so I'll keep that in mind.

I have mixed feeling about this topic. On one hand, I always wonder what my Mr. Number says about me, if anything at all. On the other hand, I have no reasons to believe that there might be anything negative said about me. I am for real, responsible, clean, a good tipper, respectful and punctual, so for all practical purposes I shouldn't need to worry about bad things said about me. The only less than ideal experiences I've had have been on the provider side's, mostly shady practices, like unprofessional behavior, inadequate facilities and being recorded without my permission. Overall, if one is a good client, one should expect to have a good reputation.

Very interesting to look at, especially the first one.

I don't have stories, but my body can't tolerate pineaple and grape tomatoes. I love both, but my body reacts to them negatively. Also my lips react to eggplant.

This topic has come up several times. My policy is that no matter how vague or clear the ad is, I always ask, and I always ask because some of those ads that are "clear" are also inaccurate and false. Specificity does not mean truthful. Since I always ask, I ge the information I need and have expectations. The Rentmasseur website has the option for providers to specify if they provide erotic massages, but they themselves decide what that means or how far they go. Also, some providers have basic information, but in the communication via text or call, they have also added that they offer additional services for additional charges. In addition, that communication has been provided in the session when/if things heat up a little. Finally, another way of getting a clue of how far a masseur could go is by checking if the provider also has an ad in rentmen or similar sites. At first look might be confusing, as it was to me when I first started, but then I realize that some providers are more discrete in how they offer their services. There's never going to be a clear cut, very specific description of what's going to happen in a given session.

Hard to tell. I think that the answer is no different from the same question asked to any providers from any other nations. I know some who are gay for pay, and the entire range of sexual orientations. The question is, will that make a difference to you? Or do you think that they might deliver their service differently if they are not attracted to men? I inquire because I have seen many discussions around the sexual orientation of providers, and they seem to be two types (in my appreciation only, this is not some research study, just my observation, take it for what it is): (1) quality of the service provided based on the level of interest/investment and (2) some gay guys find it more exciting knowing (or thinking) that they are being treated by a straight guy (stemming from the premise that straight means better and more desirable). Just curious to know how do you think their sexual orientation will impact you as a client.

Brazil is a huge country with a rather large population of 214.3 million, 105.7 million of which are male. There are areas of extreme poverty in that country, about 28% of the population lives in extreme poverty, and many of the providers also support their families with what they make. That is particularly true with transgender providers. sometimes they are the primary source of income in the family (even though there are instances where the family doesn't allow them in the house). Venezuela is going through terrible times. 94% of Venezuelans lived in poverty, and by 2021 almost twenty percent of Venezuelans (5.4 million) had left their country, not necessarily legally. Half of their population is male in that country. In Colombia, with a male population of 25 million, crime rates remain very high. Illegal armed groups and other criminal groups are heavily involved in the drugs trade and serious crime including kidnapping. Additionally, there's extreme corruption in their government, so many people who live in poverty have little to no opportunities available for progressing, unless they get involved in the established system that is entangled with the drug trade. If you have seen shows like Narcos in Netflix, you see all those nameless extras that get killed in drug trade-related shootings? Those are the ones who live in poverty and have little opportunities to do something else. Poverty, crime, social and political instability are factors that make many people who would otherwise choose a different profession, to become this type of provider. I remember seeing a documentary in the early 2000s about male prostitution in Brazil. They showed areas where there are many street providers looking for ways to survive. Just survival. We, in USA and other rich countries tend to forget what life is like when there aren't opportunities available and you have loved ones to support, or when the situation is so dangerous that you have tio manage to survive by any means possible. Sometimes I ask myself similar questions, then I remember that I live in a country where people can start a march over something that they just don't like hearing about. BTW, it's not just the USA, I also saw providers from Colombia, Brazil and Venezuela in Spain and in Mexico.

Hybernating? (sorry, I had to).

I agree with nycman. Don't take it personally, and what I saw in the thread about you is certainly not trash talk. It's just the experiences that people have had with reaching out to you. In my opinion, none of that "talk" will hurt you. On the other hand, coming here in the defensive to confront people might hurt your business. Feel free to read the 411 on others, and you will see how we talk about providers who should be avoided. Welcome to the forum and best wishes.

Normally text, but a few providers have asked if we can continue talking over the phone. Never inquire about what's their preferred method. I'll keep that in mind for the future.

Personally I have not seen comments that have little regard for providers, but I might have missed them. In fact, I have seen quite the opposite, good, open, honest and respectful discussion about the many aspects around the entire industry. Also, and I can only speak for my own experiences, I am a respectful person, period. Providers or non-providers, they should be treated with consideration and respect. There have been discussions about clients being in conditions that are less than ideal. I myself posted that I went to see a masseur while being sick, but even under those circumstances I had a talk with the provider and he was the one who decided how he wanted to proceed. Street hustlers who just walk around or use hookup apps might have a different reality, but the vast majority, if not all of the providers who post here have a well established system for advertising, communicating and screening clients. Those are the type of discussions that I have read of here. So far my providers have been good, and the oned that I don't want to see again are for behaviors or practices that I don't agree with, not because of being drunk or high on drugs. Without playing savior, any decent human being will provide emergency help to whoever needs it (I would).

Maybe before or after the session, but during a session I don't think is useful to voice a complain, as it can create more stress instead of relaxation. But yes, though I personally don't let the masseur know after a session cut short, I give a less than stellar review and never use him again. After all, it's supposed to be a relaxing experience.

He doesn't look effeminate to me. Also, nothing wrong with making him gay. People have made him white, so...

At age three. My oldest sister was ironing yellow shorts for me, for my mom to take a picture of us. She placed the shorts on the bed and told me not to touch them. I did. I think that the memory has remained sinc I still have the picture that was taken afterwards. I also remember at 4 when I first was able to read my name (I learned to read at 4).

My two cents. Try to find out if there are other venues for then to advertise in Asia where they are. RM is not that popular in all countries, as there are other websites and means of advertising, especially in Asian countries where there seems to be an entire economy around this type of service. Try finding local info online and see if there are other websites.