DWnyc

The question is what are you seeking from the phone call especially if 5-7 mins - that’s a long time! - 7% of an hourly session! A provider would likely say I can answer whatever questions he has in a few texts and if there’s more he’s too much work! See the discussions constantly on here with providers complaining that even a couple of texts back and forth with potential clients drive them Nuts when added up over the day. While I’ve met a couple of providers who actually insist on a call before meeting (likely to “sound me out” for temperament) I’ve found most express a strong preference for text which has always made sense to me - for efficiency and discretion. Culturally I think we have moved away from calls to texts in most admin comms and I’d say good luck finding providers willing to invest the 5-7 mins you think it will take.

Not everyone has the luxury of time or budget for this level of diligence, though

Just as a caveat, there are plenty of providers with excellent reviews online and good anecdotal feedback here where I (and others I know) have experienced bad / potentially scary things. So take the precautions always, even when a provider seems totally legit, and remember there might be a very slippery slope from a provider’s good day to a bad one. Not maligning all or anywhere near most providers - but it just has to be a couple to ruin interaction for all of us.

The profile was gone when I clicked on reading the first post … now it seems to be back logged in 15 mins ago

Congrats on handling this well - for your safety foremost, and to minimize financial damage. I am frankly sick and tired of hearing providers complaining about clients wasting their time and why this means they need to charge deposits (with paper trail), or require electronic payments or photo for security etc - I would have even a tiny bit of sympathy if the legitimate concerns on the client side were acknowledged, just once. The worst I ever faced so far (touch wood) was leaving my wallet in someone’s apartment and texting him as soon as I left when I realized, and him letting me back into his apt but then demanding 1 hr $ for the “trouble” I caused him. When I said I don’t have the cash he replied “I just checked and you do”. I’m sure he photographed my drivers license while he was at it. I did get my wallet back and paid him what he asked and was glad to be done with him and leave as soon as I could. Apparently he had a track record of this type of stuff and disappeared from the site shortly after. The good news is there was no further damage - nothing on my credit card, no harassment to my address etc and I’m sure it will be the same for you. He would probably be easy to track down and he’s likely betting that a few instances of low volume extortion will pay off with larger / repeat scale becoming problematic.

Not unheard of for providers to suddenly express panic / fake disappointment at what might have been etc as the one hour mark approaches while getting ready to rush you out … with an option to extend at your choosing with a more leisurely and satisfying conclusion

Have you been on any dating sights lately?? 😊

I always thought asking to unlock photos was a sign of engagement. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything there from anyone that was so unique or titillating that I could be accused of just picture collecting. However some providers only reveal their face in there.

Hey guys this is an interesting and important discussion … let’s not get it shut down by the moderators so let’s keep it civil please!

“Condom fatigue” is also a big issue for heterosexuals now. Declining HIV rates generally a big factor, and PREP / ability to become undetectable have a big role in that. I wouldn’t buy stock in any of the major condom manufacturers any time soon.

I do wonder how many folks on prep for prevention or the drugs to maintain undetectable status can adhere to it all the time, especially when “partying” and so forth. Wish there was a test to see how effective the level of prep is in your body at any time.

Well, I assume you meant something on the lines of “I believe my HIV status is X, therefore I do not consider myself to be a public health hazard” And others could believe the same about themselves based on their interpretation of what they believe to be their HIV status

With due respect, can you not see how similar things could be said / sincerely believed by those on Prep (“I am hiv negative … not my problem, not theirs”) or undetectable (“I can’t transmit so …”) absolutely not saying anyone should knowingly lie about (what they believe to be) their status, however …

For a hookup - yes I agree. For a paid encounter with a provider I would expect the provider to have everything needed for what is mutually understood to be the experience. And yes the client should have back-up but failing that the hierarchy of responsibility is on the one who is paid. I wouldn’t go see my doctor, lawyer, dentist etc expecting to have the same field knowledge in my brain or equipment they need for the appointment in my backpack.

That’s a separate issue from assessing a providers professionalism on whether or not - for a premium product they are offering - they have taken care of the basics I’d be fine if a provider texted as I was on my way (or he was on his way) and said “this is really embarrassing , but I’m out of lube and don’t have time to go get more before you get here … could you bring some / do you have some?” - at least it would mean they had thought through the experience they were responsible for.

I have mixed feelings about this - it has happened to me frequently though perhaps not on this scale. on the one hand we are donating for providers time - regardless of what goes on. but there’s an element of liberty taking if choose to extend time (separate from if extra time is needed because of client choice or approval) I try to clarify why we are going over whenever it happens and nip it in the bud when it’s clear there is expectation of extra $. happily there have been many occasions where we have gone over because the provider said something like “I have nothing else, let’s keep going” or “I’m enjoying this as well” or most graciously “we lost time because I did xyz so let me make it up to you” - but I don’t expect it to be the norm

He’s definitely not the only one among providers I’ve come across (not necessarily engaged). And I’ve likely missed others - it’s not an easy question to ask, while some handle it very professionally in tone (even then who knows if it’s accurate or they’re telling the truth) others can get extremely annoyed, convey they feel insulted etc. The misrepresentation can’t be justified … but maybe there’s warped logic for them in their interpretation of “equivalence” of their actual status to that they list … in terms of public health implications. And there’s the obvious point that they may lose some business based on people using that as a selection criteria. (And I’m not singling out providers here - I think it occurs frequently in online hookup profiles as well).

I’ve learnt the painful way (being publicly shamed and losing a friend who was insulted by my ignorance) that I needed to get familiar with the science of undetectable status. As with prep, It can take some getting used to if you’re from the generation that was told condoms are the only barrier between you and potential death. Anyone active not familiar with what undetectable means should read and research, don’t just rely on us here. But remember, relying on someone just relaying their status (undetectable or on prep) should not be sufficient even if it is 100% accurate as of the date they received results (and I’ve come across many who’ve lied for whatever reason).

As I’ve related elsewhere I’ve frequently had providers refuse to meet because of a conversation on playing safe before confirming (even though their profile says they offer it), or trying to get me to change my mind once we do meet even if they’ve agreed. I carry my own because I’ve lost count of how many providers don’t have them but have every other exotic product, toy, etc you can think of. I sometimes get a bit of satisfaction quashing that brief glint of “I don’t have any, damn, we’ll have to go ahead without them”.

Did he charge for 1 hour or 3?

Unless there is collective action (eg unions) or enforcement of pricing controls (the point about providers not being willing to accept certain prices) this will be a very free market - much more so than most things we purchase. And there may well be shocks that further disrupt pricing (eg legalization - see price of weed). I think one area affecting pricing that we haven’t discussed much supply. What happens if more providers come on-stream (layoffs, the need to supplement incomes as costs increase etc) - or quit the field (perhaps as they can’t make it work with the prices). That will also affect pricing locally as well as nationally.

Maybe this is why some US providers get irritated when someone asks them rates and they say “it’s all on my profile …” they think it’s there but isn’t visible to everyone

And if the clients, at some point in time, can’t or won’t pay those prices … market forces suggest those rates should come down. It’s not what the escorts, established or otherwise, set, it’s what the market tolerates. This is the US, not USSR And of course this means the prices should go up in the opposite scenario.

Yes, and keeping an eye on the daily layoff lists (Google, Facebkkk. Zoom etc) the clients are facing the same pressures

I don’t see last minute slashing or rates or even discounts as a sign of not being professional or running counter to inflation. In many ways the opposite. Analogy is the gourmet restaurant at the end of the day selling things at markdown rather than throwing them away (which they might have done in the past in less inflationary times) $150/hour, last minute, your rate goes back to whatever it was when people ask and jn the morning … is better than zero