SouthOfTheBorder

for every one person that is responsible & contacts their partners for potential STI exposure - there’s probably 10 more that don’t. It’s statistically impossible for people to be routinely engaging in unprotected sex w multiple partners and not be exposed to STIs. Indeed, the numbers show gonorrhea surging. Many don’t know they have anything & are asymptomatic- but still very capable of transmission. testing, while absolutely worthwhile gives a false sense of security as it’s outdated the minute the test is done. theres a certain level of collective denial going on among gay men, disguised as “sex-positivity” & selective information uptake to justify doing what they want to do anyway. get educated, make your choices & live with the consequences. it’s that simple

staying in a 4-star hotel hardly qualifies anyone as rich. equating a billionaire like Epstein to a middle class Western tourist who thinks they’re relatively rich in a poor African country doesn’t make sense. Thats exactly the mindset that gets people in serious trouble abroad - thinking the local laws or customs don’t apply. the second delusion is typically the tourist thinks nobody knows what they’re doing, when it’s obvious to all and the locals have seen it dozens of times before fyi - the seriously rich aren’t going to Africa for sex-tourism

the Florida real-estate situation is deteriorating quickly. Doesnt matter if you attribute the insurance crisis to climate change or litigation - it’s happening, and it’s affecting home prices seems to be far worse for condo owners as they really aren’t in control of their own properties - they are controlled by HOAs. The HOAs are under new legal requirements to keep reserves at levels to deal with catastrophes and double-digit increases for HOA insurance costs. Then personal homeowners insurance that may be required by any mortgage holder which is also increasing double digits. All combined it’s a nightmare scenario. Lots of older people with paid off condos are getting priced out of their units as they can no longer afford HOA fees & assessments- and nobody wants to buy those units either as the numbers don’t make any sense. Single family homes under same pressure if a bank has a mortgage - insurance must be in place. The Florida legislature doesn’t appear capable of any effective litigation/insurance reform as they’re too busy on other things - and it may not be fixable at all if litigation is not the core problem. https://apple.news/AsxX77qsnQQydRDuIKGYU0w

you have a exponentially higher probability of getting shot in any American shopping mall (or road rage, or an elementary school, or a church/synagogue) vs terrorism at LGBTQIA+ event in the US. might be more consequential in other countries

most of my friends are early 60s & late 50s - I’ve never heard the conversation about younger gays being unappreciative or anything similar. Or, the work & pain speech. I don’t know anyone who thinks they’re owed something by the younger generations - it’s not even a thought

it’s not interesting from a soap opera POV. It is interesting, historically as the beginning of the end of the British monarchy

so, one of the most famous women in the world suddenly goes missing & hasn’t been seen for almost 5 months - and, the typically invasive British media seems completely uninterested for whatever reason the official story is she was in hospital for a “planned abdominal surgery”, yet none of the usual public well-wishes by other royals on social media or visits to the hospital. and, the children haven’t been seen either speculation that she’s dead, in a coma or there is a pending divorce are among the rumors. meanwhile, Camilla appears publicly with Williams rumoured mistress. Keep in mind nothing those people do is by accident & everything has meaning

doubtful “the activists” have anything to do with it - lack of funds more likely

lol - thought that sounded familiar

I’m really happy to be early 60s. I think men of our generation got to experience so much. It was fun when gay bars/clubs used to be more subversive & underground. We appreciate the freedoms we have now because we know what it was like before. We appreciate our good health because we saw so many whose lives were cut short by AIDs/HIV epidemic. And most of all - we knew how to socialize in real life without the constant distractions of phones & toxic social media. It was a time when having a friend really meant something - not the hundreds of “friends” people have on FB. When I find myself in environments with much younger people, I often wonder if I’d like to be 30ish again - the answer is NO.

I was referencing bars for the most part, where older guys are more visible. Agree, Spain is probably best example in Europe where older gay guys are out in force - and that seems to attract older guys from all over. I’ve noticed this in Paris & other European cities too - not the same degree as Spain tho. There is a sugar-daddy element at work for sure the same as other places. But, it feels like that is only a small part - it’s more about open acceptance of older men. No experience clubbing in recent years. It’s too late & too loud for me these days. Plus, nothing good really happens after midnight imo.

go on RM and filter by age - there are huge drops in 40+ and even more drop at 50+ and very few at 60+. out of the hundreds of providers on RM - there are 30 guys 60yrs and over….a relatively small percentage. if there was a preference for older, then there would be more older. seems like this conversation is confusing preferences for hiring vs other preferences- big difference btw - the ageism experienced in the US does not happen in the same way in other places. In Latin America & Europe, older gay men are much more visible & mix more frequently in bars/clubs without disapproval or stigma. It seems to be the worst in the US, followed by other English speaking countries - UK, Canada & Australia. I think it has something to do with other cultures more general respect for elders.

go spend two hours at Johnson’s Ft Lauderdale and observe - almost all the “older” guys are drinking - and not just a little. Then walk through Wilton Manors and observe the thirty+ bars all packed & everybody drinking. It’s noticeable. there may be some regional differences in alcohol consumption among certain groups - in S Florida, the culture is drinking.

for many gay men of a certain age - we were never supposed to live long enough to worry about “looking like an old queer” aging is a blessing, not a curse perspective

disagree & who cares ? I get turned on by guys who have sex for money. I think most are into it for whatever reason. For those that may not be into it - doesn’t matter if they deliver. recently had a straight guy who had to watch straight porn in a session: super turn-on for me & I loved it. his performance was exceptional & he wanted to keep going when I was ready to stop. worrying about whether or not someone is “into-it” defeats the entire point. it’s a financial transaction for a service. making it more is a sure way to disappointment

In Ft Lauderdale, they don’t require women to be accompanied by men - there is no chance the Ft L location would be overrun by women at any time due to the loyal local gay clientele & gay tourists. Tampa & Chicago would be totally different in terms of client demographics & women could overwhelm those clubs without a policy. And then it would be something else entirely. the owner is trying to duplicate the success of Ft L - but the unique factors that make it successful just don’t exist anywhere else. Plus, the available talent pool of dancers in Miami/Ft Lauderdale with constant new arrivals is unique there too.

not anymore. the times of year when the weather was beautiful (December - April) now routinely get storms, heat & high humidity. It seems like July/August There are the occasional perfect days, but not months of beautiful weather. plus, the traffic in S Florida is about the worst in the entire country. the regular flooding of certain areas now makes it worse https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0u0yXNkEUg

the same, but different Lauren Sanchez - 2024, White House State Dinner for Japan

legit massages - 1x week. full-service providers about 1x month. when traveling - then could me much more depending on destination

thanks for reminding me why I don’t use the hookup apps. it seems like for the hours & hours guys spend on those apps - they are relatively few good outcomes. and yet, everyone is up to give it another shot, expecting something different ?

@Simon Suraci thank you for this candid post. my sense has always been sex w established providers is safer in all respects vs random guys in the wild. the reasons nobody wants to discuss STIs in personal terms are very complicated - there’s the general shame one feels for having contracted an STI, potential shaming from healthcare providers, potential stigma by others and then there’s just not wanting to ruin the fantasy that is largely driven by unrealistic porn that almost everyone consumes these days. I’m lucky - I live in a big city with easy access to non-judgmental healthcare, but yet I still feel like I failed or did something wrong when contracted an STI in the past. I don’t have much sex compared to the average person in a big city & don’t participate in the apps - I practice safer sex w condoms most of the time. And yet - it has happened to me. And if it’s happening to me, then it’s happening to many others as well. They just don’t talk about it. Now, when hiring providers - the first in-person conversation is about sexual health and how we can proceed. It’s not sexy, but it’s honest and can build trust immediately. Trust & honesty = better sex. Uncomfortable conversations are frequently the most necessary conversations.

this sounds accurate - plus, consumer tastes are changing. due to Instagram & other social media platforms, RL type restaurants are no longer in fashion because they’re too mass market - the 40 & under crowd want an “experience” & something precious now ……that isn’t gonna happen at RL. Combine all that with foolish money-losing (desperate) promotions and the writing is on the wall. you can’t make money when people are only coming to all you can eat whatever - probably very little high margin alcohol sold also bc the clientele just won’t pay.

agree - the question was to providers because the job depends on being healthy. my assumption was providers would be more likely to engage in safer practices & mitigation than the average city person on the apps.

some Thermas tips 1. go early - before it gets crowded. Thermas is big and spread across 3 floors - it can be disorienting to arrive when filed with providers & clients. Plus - it’s competitive & the locals/regulars will always go for their favorites who are usually the most in-demand. Arriving when it’s crowded puts you at a disadvantage. I like to arrive at opening about 3p and watch as providers/ clients arrive. 2. get familiar with the layout - because it is confusing. I’d recommend a complete walk-through of the entire place at least once to take note of spa facilities & bar (first floor), all showers (first & second floors). And the one private bathroom on first floor with a douche - the key to that bathroom is at reception and depending on the attendant, they may require you buy an attachment or if you have your own, then a tip to get the key. Return the key asap as there may be others waiting. 3. there will always be guys hanging around the reception area & watching the clients locker room. the game is to snag clients in that area & before they can see the other providers. don’t fall for it. 4. like anywhere else - be cautious if anyone offers you anything to ingest. last time I was there, a provider offered candy between sessions - upon inspection it was potent edible marijuana. there are a couple guys there routinely selling things - I’d avoid them & whatever they have. they are obvious & likely will make an approach at some point. 5. the free cabins are fine for 30 minutes & the staff cleans continuously- but that doesn’t mean you’ll always get a fresh cabin. If you want to make sure it’s clean - then private rooms. Again - getting there early ensures access to private rooms - when it’s crowded you may wait and sometimes they don’t open up at all. 6. you dont need ID to get in - leave passports & valuables in your hotel safe. I carry a set amount of cash, one credit card & phone. I don’t leave those items in the locker - I carry them with me in a small pack at all times. you need cash for the guys - everything else can be on credit card. 7. bring your own condoms & lube. the condoms provided are the most basic & the lube is almost nonexistent. the guys appreciate good quality condoms & it makes a big difference. I like to bring my own antibacterial soap along too - just to be extra careful between sessions. availability of soap in the showers is not a sure thing. 8. if smoking bothers you - avoid the area on the second floor where smokers congregate. for people who smoke, it’s ideal place to engage the guys in a more relaxed environment. 9. don’t be afraid to say no. you will be approached many times by guys who may not be your type. there’s not pressure per se, but they are direct and don’t want to waste time. they are used to no & it’s just part of the environment. polite & firm gets the message across. 10. you will pay for everything at the end & check your final bill carefully. if buying drinks for providers, make sure you are clear at that time what you’re offering. an offer for a drink can easily turn into a full meal - and that’s fine if that is what you’re offering. if spending a few hours there, the charges can add up quickly. 11. don’t be afraid to tell the provider exactly what you want - they’re professionals and have seen it all, several times. no reason to be embarrassed. If there is a language barrier - use google translate or show them a video of the type of scene you want. a video is easiest way to get the clear message across & I’ve seen several clients do it.

a very sad story - although it feels like pieces are missing. the comment that the killing looked like a “crime of passion” is somewhat out of context in the story and then the dispute about whether the victim knew the killer well. It’s as if they are suggesting the killer & victim were involved, which what the husband would want people to think this could happen in many other places - but, it happened in Rio and if the victim wasn’t a high-profile/wealthy American it would hardly be newsworthy. Desperate people do desperate things - for money.