SouthOfTheBorder

yes, non-premium members can block users, among other privacy features. My sense is that if providers are blocking potential clients, then something happened to cause the block. I’ve blocked providers where there have been issues and I don’t want to mistakenly engage them again if they’ve substantially changed their profile or I just forgot the details. It’s not a big deal - just move on

if this is real (which is extremely doubtful in nyc), then yes…..it’s you causing the situation aggressive repetitive cruising as described doesn’t just happen if you really want it to stop vs being a topic to complain, perhaps wise to examine your own behavior. Or not

fyi - the political keyboard warriors are alive & well at "the other site" some of the more passive/aggressive are at war amongst themselves (surprise) definitely the right move to purge the toxic politics from here

exactly this similar to a house on fire while the residents argue about which tv channel to watch it’s not a right side or left side issue - it’s both sides, together with insidious systemic corruption. which is why the partisan arguments & polarization is so terribly misguided. But, that’s precisely what they want - a public largely distracted from the big picture and tearing each other down while the thieves are at work back to the original post re: SF - it’s very complicated and a complete understanding of SF history is required in context with extreme economic disparities exacerbated by the various tech booms. I suspect few are interested in these complex discussions, but rather 2d analysis to confirm what they already believe about the city

I would have agreed with your Winston quote 40 years ago. Now, that idea is sadly outdated. Our politicians & courts have been bought by corporations and the wealthy elites for their benefit only. There is no more “doing the right thing” - that’s exactly why the wealthiest country in the world has both of out control homelessness and escalating gun violence. And it’s going to get a lot worse. We now have an entire political movement wishing for the destruction of our own cities - we are at war with ourselves. Doing the destructive work no outside enemy could. I guess we can be proud of the America that once was. But, it’s long gone

we don’t need to reinvent the wheel here - wealthy civilized countries like Japan & Spain do not have these same homeless problems at same scale as US. Each of those countries has a tiny fraction of the American homeless….to the point where you have to look for it in their major cities. It’s like the gun problem in an America - other wealthy civilized countries just don’t have mass shootings every other day. Yet, most Americans are certain everything is better in the US. My only conclusion is they must not travel much.

Grindr is for people that have time to waste - on both sides of the potential hookup. and the “flakiness” is usually either something better came along or they just realized that you aren’t “partying” the apps are a cesspool. it’s that simple

Not sure I’d go so far to say “nightmare”, but absolutely headed in the wrong direction. this is not a comment cloaked to support partisan talking point: the US is the only “wealthy” country where life expectancy is falling. Or, going backwards. Yet, we spend more on healthcare as a percent of GDP than anywhere else. That pretty much says it all. Rampant homelessness is yet another marker of a country in decline & it didn’t happen overnight. Gun violence is similarly out-of-control and where the US is an outlier among its peer countries. It’s not a failure of one political party, but rather a slow motion collapse of a deeply corrupt system of government where everything and everyone is for sale. Otherwise known as late-stage capitalism. Ain’t it great ?

if you’re referencing online providers in Brazil - the going rate is about 300 reais per hour/$60 usd Brazil is a big country and there are more people with money than you think - especially in São Paulo. The “average” Brazilian would not be able to afford $60 per hour tho as you mention

is there a big difference between online behavior/etiquette vs IRL ? Are you aware of your own behavioral differences, if any ? I don’t participate in any social media, except for here. Previously had Twitter but deleted when Musk got involved and should have done it months before that. Aside from the time wasted, it just seemed so toxic - feels much better without that negative energy. I found some of my own behavior was different online and I didn’t much like it. Curious if others have noticed the same ?

I’ve been to São Paulo & Rio many times without incident. But, I have witnessed everything from home invasions to armed robbery in close proximity. For me, travel to Brazil requires a level of personal safety vigilance that can become annoying when trying to relax on vacation. There’s no place else like Brazil though and when things are going right, it’s just magical. So, there’s a trade-off that you make going there knowing what you’re getting into. São Paulo feels much safer to me as a visitor because tourists aren’t confined to a small geographic area as in Rio. SP is like visiting New York with much better hotels, restaurants, museums, etc.

I recently bought a new car, thus the example. I wouldn’t go into a dealership without an initial conversation w the sales person. And wouldn’t agree to an appointment and hope for the best - I’m not a Tesla customer so whatever their rules are, they don’t apply. And no, I wouldn’t wait more than 4-6 hours for anyone in a basic sales or service capacity to return my inquiry. We’re not talking about highly skilled surgeons or trial lawyers in these examples. In the provider context, I’m never looking for now - but frequently same day or within a day or two. A delay of more than 4-6 hours tells me the provider is busy and I should look elsewhere, whether or not that provider is someone I really want to see or not. I’ve found letting go of my expectations re; exact hires and being more open to what comes to me as relatively easy is usually a pleasant surprise. I view every interaction w provider as a decision point. How they handle inquires and timely response tells me volumes about what I can expect in-person.

while “timely” is a flexible concept - almost all successful people I know in either sales or service oriented businesses are focused on almost immediate response. if I call a salesperson at a car dealership to buy a new vehicle - I’m not going to wait 4 hours plus for a response. In context, I’m calling to spend money and put income into the salespersons pocket. I can just as easily go to the next person who understands the value of a client inquiry. btw - I managed a large fortune 50 sales team and I’ve seen it all in terms of excuses & justifications for poor client communications. I used to get calls from prospective clients ready to spend money & telling me the salesperson hasn’t called them back after several hours. Truly amazing to me then & I would immediately assign to another person who would at least acknowledge the inquiry and schedule time to get back to prospect. the lesson; some people are just clueless and can be their own worst enemy the best always rise to the top with no complaints - they just keep moving and making money. in a market with many choices available, isn’t it easier if I select those who make it easy for me ? I am, after all looking for a pleasant overall experience, which includes the inquiry & scheduling process. And I find that those who deliver a seamless/easy inquiry & scheduling tend to be the best actual in-person experience too. It’s all connected

dealbreakers from client perspective, any reference to PNP in the ad any visual clues re: PNP - there’s a look any visual clues to a disorganized environment any mention of “anything goes” or similar risky behavior no reviews or unacceptable ratio of neg reviews (more than 10% NO) more than 4-6 hours time to respond to inquiry pressure to book immediately deposits younger than 26 hubris providers soliciting on hookup apps - not professional

not sure if this is intentional trolling, or just ignorance ? perhaps a combination of both - pretty common these days

that’s a ridiculous premise.

he is a real legit massage therapist who allows touch & admiration. the massage is excellent, although I found him a bit removed compared to others offering erotic services. i got the impression his thing is younger guys for whatever that’s worth that said, well worth the money if a skilled therapeutic massage by a very sexy hung guy is the objective

this a situation where the providers appear to have established the norm of “same day appointments only” seems like many providers have experienced client flakes and now majority of profiles have some sort of language about same day only - at least that’s my current sense of the industry at large based on regular browsing rentm. yes, there are a few providers that say they want notice - yet, the norm has been clearly laid out that same day is the accepted practice. my own preference is to plan ahead, but I have been burned too by flaking providers and then no last minute replacement. So, I’m of the mind to go along with same day norms as it just seems to minimize complications. I have no problem scheduling future dates w providers where I have relationships. The 2-3 providers I’ve known long term don’t have any sort of prerequisites to schedule: I think they’ve been in the business long enough to vet potential clients on initial contacts and work towards maintaining the valuable repeat clients with whatever it takes. Those guys make my interactions with them effortless, which is the entire idea in a service based business.

My other ppv is those who want to take group photos when dining out & then they post it to social media somewhere. It’s a really tricky situation because to object to a photograph can really sour the mood at the table. I do not understand why this has become accepted behavior ? the bright spot is it seems to becoming less of a thing as perceptions around social media are changing I don’t participate in social media and thats intentional. I don’t like to get on a soapbox about it, but at the same time I do value my privacy. Anything on social media is the opposite of having any sort of privacy. Why would I want anyone to know where I had dinner & with who ?

agree. Within a specific industry w established norms, there is only so much someone can do re; changing those established norms to suit the providers wishes. Deposits, as an example, are not accepted norm. And while a provider may have dozens of valid reasons for deposits, it doesn’t change the fact that most clients will simply move on to someone that doesn’t require a deposit. I’ve hired literally hundreds of providers over 30 years and never paid a deposit. Ive never flaked on a provider, so maybe I’m an outlier. I’m not suggesting a providers reasons for deposits are invalid - just that it likely turns a lot of prospective clients off that may very well be good clients. Reducing the potential pool of clients certainly comes with an opportunity cost.

when viewed in total; offerings, cost, safety & access - the clear winner for me is BCN. Literally something for everyone at decent prices w relative safety. Termas isn’t perfect, but closest thing to a Brazilian sauna outside of Brasil NYC & Miami crazy expensive compare to other cities. Rio & SP - amazing but safety is an issue. Madrid lacks paid sauna scene. Berlin - cliche, although if kink is the desire it makes sense No experience in Brussels. Not a fan of Amsterdam

unfortunately this is a sign of the times. I really don’t care if people are on their phones in a restaurant- as along as they aren’t taking pictures, or otherwise disrupting any other guest dining experience. And, it doesn’t really work if they are so distracted to cause problems for staff. When dining out w others, I do not carry my phone. Extremely rude imo - why bother with other people if you can’t actually be present ? I would go for a total phone ban in museums and Broadway shows. I’ve been behind people texting nonstop through a performance. Again - why bother if you can’t be present ?

correct - the political industrial complex doesn’t give a shit about ideology, right/wrong, conservative /liberal. It’s all about money and how they can monetize the people that remain engaged in the discourse. The more outraged & angry, the more likely to engage with their monetized media offerings. It’s like crack for those addicted….just keep them using at all costs and with no solutions. And when they get people to the point of self-righteous indignation, well..,then you are totally captured. how does that feel ?

I continue to be fascinated by those addicted to political discussions Best thing I ever did was turn off the news and disengage from all things political. It’s all a scam and you are the targets.

agree. the assumption seems to be that an inquiry about rate is somehow binding for a subsequent immediate hire. given rates are all over the place these days, an inquiry is essential to know if we’re even in the ballpark my process to hire a new provider never happens in the moment and that’s intentional. typically the tone & type of response from a provider tells me a lot more about their disposition and professionalism than I can see in an ad. if someone seems bothered, then my gut tells me they won’t be great experience in person and that’s a no. there are plenty of charming professionals that will welcome a legitimate question about rates & other necessary details