dcguy20

SDT?
But yeah, this topic has been well-worn here and realistically, legalization isn't happening anytime soon.
I know people who have gotten HIV from Grindr trade.  Getting a disease takes no talent...  Just the idiocy of not protecting yourself.
It takes two to tango.  If you're going to fuck raw, know what PrEP is and use it.
Otherwise, either don't fuck raw in the first place or don't complain when things turn out badly for you.
Take responsibility for your own health at all times.

I was supposed to see him a couple of months ago in DC, but he canceled his trip at the last moment. He reached out to apologize. 

BFE is different for everyone, so it's key to talk about what expectations are (if there are any).
I'm currently in a two-week BFE on a small ship through Canada.  The key is to make sure things feel natural, in-the-moment and easy.  It's not just about sex.  It's about an entire experience starting from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep.
A good escort is going to see verbal and non-verbal cues. 

I agree with this. I generally do provide a time or a window especially when I'm traveling. And if the provider isn't available, I move on. 
But if a provider says they're wide open and then declines one or two times you offer, that's a wrap for me. 

We should discuss the definition of urgent. A traveling straight boy thats been on rentmen for less than a week? Darling, that isnt urgent - that is barely a low priority and the very definition of “don’t do it”. 😁

I recently reached out to 2 providers in DC that I hadn't seen since 2018. I had seen both of them several times. I reintroduced myself, but didn't receive a response. Followed up with each of them a week or so later, and still no response. Nothing I can do about it, but have since removed them from my contacts. 

Someone I've seen 2-3 times per year, told me of his increased rates prior to my last appointment. 

Someone I've seen 2-3 times per year, told me of his increased rates prior to my last appointment. 

Someone I've seen 2-3 times per year, told me of his increased rates prior to my last appointment. 

Someone I've seen 2-3 times per year, told me of his increased rates prior to my last appointment. 

Someone I've seen 2-3 times per year, told me of his increased rates prior to my last appointment. 

Someone I've seen 2-3 times per year, told me of his increased rates prior to my last appointment. 

I saw it. I left during intermission. I'm a huge Audra fan, but even that couldn't get me to stay. 

In most walks of life, if the other person doesn't bring it up, you shouldn't either.

I don't think that's standard, for escorts to ask. However, I personally send them something if I have to cut at the last minute.
I recall an escort who went off on me because he couldn't find his way around the city and complained about the cold, and said I should pay him money since he claimed he tried but couldn't visit me. But with that attitude, all he got from me was a block.

Easy there with the judgement.

I validate your points here. Some clients have particular preferences, but most of them don’t. My suggestion: take the initiative to tell your masseur about your preferences upfront. If not in your booking process then shortly after you arrive. The pros will adjust on a dime, at least for any item over which they have control. We can’t read your mind though. Communicate. Don’t like my music? Just say so and I’ll change it!
Aside on lighting. I have two skylights in my studio. I have no option to dim the light from those during the day. I otherwise have only dim mood lighting and I turn on my dimmable recessed ceiling lights to a medium to low level before the massage to make it easy to see and move around, dress/undress and again after the client has had a chance to slowly adjust after their massage. I keep the dimmable lights off during the massage, leaving only a couple table lamps with dark color shades and mood lights. It’s particularly nice at night.
In my experience, the vast majority of clients don’t like making a lot of decisions upon arrival. When I ask too many questions, they tend to get annoyed, antsy, or indecisive. A lot of them have NO preference for any of the items I might mention. They enjoy some brief small talk to connect as they undress and then quickly want to get on the table and feel totally relaxed and ready to enjoy some good therapy. Sometimes I slow them down with a big hug first. I could ask a dozen questions like:
Which room scent do you prefer?
How much pressure?
How much light?
What music do you enjoy?
How is the volume level?
Can I adjust the headrest for you?
Would you like a bolster?
How about a pillow?
Would you like me to be more conversational, or quiet?
Do you have any injuries, sensitivities, or areas you want me to avoid?
Are you ok with your feet being massaged? What about your head? (These are the most common requests to avoid on the body)
Blah, blah, blah…but I don’t. The inquisition could go on and on. And you know what? The default preselected options I already provide for all these items works really well for 95% of everyone seeing me. They either like it as-is, or have no preference anyway. So I just saved some time and client frustration for the 95% by preselecting everything. I don’t even have to ask. The other 5% who have very particular preferences tell me at the beginning, or somewhere along the way, and I adjust. Sometimes it’s after the fact and I just shake my head and say they should have said something. Then I add it to my notes so I will have everything adjusted ahead of time for their next visit.
Much of my approach is about reading the client along the way. For example, if the client seems uncomfortable with the headrest, I will ask about it and offer to adjust. The client sniffles repeatedly, so I offer tissues which I keep close right under the table plus a small trash can. The client responds physically to my pressure in a way that prompts me to ask if the pressure is ok. The client is sensitive when I touch around his underarms or feet or whatever so I ask if he wants me to avoid it. I ask if it’s ok to touch them in an erotic way. I notice a limited range of motion when I bend the knee and ask if it’s ok to continue. I notice the client goes quiet so I stop asking him questions and chatting. The client expresses pleasure when I touch him in a certain way, or a certain area; verbally, with their breath intensity and pace, moans, and the like. Conversely the client winces or tenses up and I ask them about it to make sure they are comfortable and see what I need to change, if anything. I could go on…
Basically I read my clients to prompt my questions and maybe that leads to one or two questions rather than a dozen for every client every time before we start. It saves us both time and energy up top. I like to ask just two general questions of every client:
1) Is there anything about your body I should know before we start?
2) (about 10 mins into the session) How is everything feeling?
The rest comes up by reading the client. 

The use of baby oil, which is why I now always ask what they'll be using. 
Club music or vocals. I'd rather hear nothing.

The use of baby oil, which is why I now always ask what they'll be using. 
Club music or vocals. I'd rather hear nothing.

The use of baby oil, which is why I now always ask what they'll be using. 
Club music or vocals. I'd rather hear nothing.

The use of baby oil, which is why I now always ask what they'll be using. 
Club music or vocals. I'd rather hear nothing.

Yes to #3! I saw a great masseur a couple of times, but his house was cluttered and messy -- his living space and the massage space. By the second time I saw him, he had moved in with his boyfriend -- and their upstairs bathroom -- the only one upstairs -- didn't have a door. That was a bridge too far for me. Plus he changed my appointment for the first massage (turns out he wanted to go to breakfast with his BF), then kept me waiting for about 15 minutes on the second session (I was on time). If you're not respectful of my time, I will not see you again.

I am punctual by nature. I was chided by a masseur when it took me 2 minutes to get from the lobby of his building to his apartment. He was absolutely serious. Needless to say, I no longer see him. I used to see him regularly. 

I am punctual by nature. I was chided by a masseur when it took me 2 minutes to get from the lobby of his building to his apartment. He was absolutely serious. Needless to say, I no longer see him. I used to see him regularly. 

Whenever I see a provider state “Negative” instead of “Negative on PReP,” that’s a clear indication to me that while he may have tested negative at some point in his life, he is not on PReP. I also assume, just to be somewhat sensible and realistic about it, that all providers may be positive and not necessarily honest about it, and I base my actions and behavior on the most clear headed thinking I can muster. My two cents.