Simon Suraci

What I hear is the client asking an escort for typical escort services, and the escort saying he is uncomfortable providing said escort services because it violates his personal code of ethics. That is why I find this question so puzzling. I’ll let this be my last post on the matter too.

@ICTJOCK you do you, whatever you are comfortable doing. I am an escort. That kind of thing is escorting. It find it acceptable for me to escort. Maybe we are confusing “sex work” with “escorting”. Oftentimes we use these terms and their respective nouns interchangeably, but they aren’t the same, at least not traditionally. An escort can also be a sex worker (and frequently is). Some sex workers are not escorts in the traditional sense of offering companionship services like accompanying their clients to events and doing activities together in public. Escorts are comfortable being whoever their clients want them to be in public. That aspect of the job delivers value to the client because not everyone will be comfortable with it or do it successfully. I might suggest you are a sex worker, and not an escort, at least not in the traditional sense of the term escort. And that’s ok. You don’t have to be both. Other members please do chime in if you disagree, particularly on the underlined point. I find the differences in thought about this topic fascinating.

Whether the client presents you as a casual date or an intimate, what the client is asking for here is truly traditional escort service. I am puzzled that an escort would be uncomfortable…escorting. That’s the beauty of hiring. Get whatever fantasy you want. Sometimes that fantasy is being at a party feeling like a million bucks because you have a guy you like on your arm, or you on his. All it takes is a little role play and tact. Lots of “Yes-and”. Not so different in that respect than role play you might do naked in a bedroom. It’s on the client to prepare a backstory and details to help keep the narrative consistent. If anything goes south on account of these finer points, the client needs to take responsibility for it. Usually he is introducing you to acquaintances rather than close friends or family, so it’s unlikely you will get the third degree interrogation you might expect from people closer to the client. As far as ethics…I would question whether deceiving others in this scene is any different than facilitating someone cheating on their spouse. In that case, we may as well hire private investigators to screen out all would-be married/attached Johns. Then we would be out of a job because the PI costs so much, and so few legitimately single guys would be left in the pool to hire us. It’s a slippery slope. Let the client make their own ethical decisions. We can’t make those on behalf of our clients, just like we can’t be responsible for their health or how they spend their money. At the end of the day, they will hire someone to fulfill their fantasy. Whether you choose to benefit financially by engaging them is your decision. Passing them by doesn’t change their actions. It just changes who they hire. We can’t be a client’s moral compass.

I have pretty much the same experience as @Jamie21 above. After a few rounds of nonsense, perhaps over months or years, I call them out directly and it makes the problem go away for good.

Will you be accepting gifts?

One rather enthusiastic client reviewed me several times. 4x in the screencap below plus two more at later dates. What can I say? He was really happy with my service! So far I have received no other duplicate reviews. One recent client was very kind to post the same review across multiple platforms. You all are right to have your fraud detectors on high alert, but once in a while a legit client leaves multiple genuine reviews. It’s not always fraud.

Me: guilty as charged… Now please get out the handcuffs.

But would you have hired him in the first place had you seen more current photos? The world may never know…

That’s horrible providers respond to you this way. Pervasive ignorance around disabilities makes life much harder. I see clients with disabilities, both physical and neurodivergent. One of my regulars has cerebral palsy. Another is on the autism spectrum. One has parkinson’s disease. Some others use a wheelchair, cane, or other assistive devices for various conditions. My studio is not 100% accessible by California standards, but I chose it in part because it has accessibility features. Everyone benefits because it makes things easier to use, whether you have a disability or not. My architect background informs so much of what I do! I like my disabled clients and want them to feel comfortable and welcome. Any provider worth your time will do the same. Disabled clients want escort services and massages the same as everyone else. I see accommodating them no differently than accommodating other needs and preferences. I help them on and off the table, transferring to the shower, and getting dressed. Many times they don’t want help with things like getting dressed, as this is a way for them to maintain their autonomy. In that case I allow more time for them to do what they need to do, and remain patient while a client does tasks a little slower than others. Andrew Gurza puts out a lot of interesting content around being gay and disabled. He talks frankly about sexuality and openly about hiring. Anyone interested in these topics might check out his podcast Disability After Dark. Disabilities manifest in so many different ways. You don’t always know by looking at someone that they are disabled. My partner, for instance, suffers from many chronic conditions. I won’t get into it all of the medical specifics here, but basically he has physical limitations, like he can’t sit, stand, walk, or drive for long periods. No step ladders or anything requiring balance or significant coordination. No heavy lifting. He works half time from home because that’s the most he is able to do. He spends a lot of his time recovering from physical exertion, even from basic daily life activities when he pushes himself too hard. You would never tell by meeting him for a few minutes or passing by him in a grocery store. He started using a cane recently, so maybe you would see that, but he is embarrassed to use it outside our home. He’s only 43 years old. We need more compassion and understanding toward one another. This work requires empathy, respect, and adaptability. We serve everyone. Online we focus so much on how different we are on the surface. At the end of the day, we’re all just people. People with people needs. I may not be saving the world, but approaching this work the way I do gives me a strong sense of purpose. Good providers will not shun clients with disabilities. Try to shake off cruel commentary as best you can. Keep looking. We exist, and we care.

Overnights are different for everyone. You, the client, communicate what you want and what you expect. Your provider will propose a fee, a timeframe, and you go from there to land on a mutually agreeable arrangement. Typical overnights are around 12 hours, sometimes a bit less, sometimes a bit more. Baseline: 9pm-9am. Maybe start earlier or end later. You negotiate and agree on expectations ahead of time in terms of duration, activities in bed, activities outside of bed, how much (if any) sleep you expect to get, sleeping arrangements, and the fee. You might start early evening with dinner, maybe cocktails, or whatever relaxation activity floats your boat. See a movie, visit an art show, go to the beach, dance at a club, play video games, go shopping, whatever the client wants based on his interests. A lot of times it looks like a traditional nice dinner date. You talk, you flirt, you connect. Some of my clients like me to give them a massage, body scrub, and manscaping in addition to, or instead of, meals or other going out activities. It can look however you want. Then the really fun part. Usually one or more rounds of sexual activities you like, often going into the wee hours. It could last from 2-4 hours, maybe more, depending on a few factors. You might break these romps up with snacks, laying in one another’s arms, talking, watching a show, or what have you. For some of you kinky bitches, these can be pretty long, drawn out, and elaborate sessions. Maybe others join (arranged ahead), but usually just 1:1. Then some sleep. Perhaps only a few hours. Maybe 6-8 if the client is satisfied with plenty of action the night before and the morning after. You might like to sleep cuddled up with your provider. Or in an adjacent hotel bed, or in completely separate rooms at your home, or whatever works best for you both. Some clients want and expect their provider to stay up all night. That’s ok too, but please do communicate your expectations up front. Most of us can’t go for 5-10 hours at a time just having sex, and not everyone will be good company staying up that late. There’s a natural limit. Drugs are another matter, however. If you want to party, be sure to find a compatible provider and be upfront with your expectations. After some nap time, you might wake up to your man initiating another round of sex. Morning wood is raging. Things happen. Then coffee/tea, breakfast, more chatter, showering, and getting dressed. Maybe you skip breakfast and go out for brunch. Pay your provider, and he’s on his way!

He advertises with a pro profile on A4A, although does not indicate massage, more like RentMen services. Lists his age there as 37, also: Bi, Vers, HIV-, BB, on PreP. He’s also an EmScuplt tech (a type of body contouring).

I offer to schedule free phone and video consultations for clients seriously considering hiring me. I try to make it clear that we’re not having phone sex or a nude jerk-off cam show on the house. These calls are useful and efficient for me to get a feel for what the client wants and mostly for the client to verify I’m a good fit for their needs. Consultations inspire confidence and mutual trust. As long as the client is respectful toward me and the boundaries of this type of call, everything works out pretty well. I don’t particularly care what the client sounds like or looks like, but it’s nice to establish some rapports. Chemistry and mutual understanding matter more.

Brant mentioned he is on these apps. PM me if you have questions about him.

I know Brant. We now offer 4-hand massage services together, we’ve traded massages and I hired him years ago for massage as well. PM me for any questions.

A few of my clients prefer me sweaty and musky. Some really get off on sniffing my pits. It’s not that uncommon or weird to me. I accommodate as best I can. The more notice the better.

I stayed for a few days at Island House last year, working trip, massage only. I was busy the entire time. Thing is, the trip cost so much between flights and lodging that I essentially broke even and wasted a few days neither vacationing nor turning much of a profit. The main pool and bar were fun to hang around though! Live and learn.

If anyone tries the Holy Services, please do let me know how it goes. Let’s hope if there is a priest involved, that it’s only consensual role play.

Yes

lol you picked the perfect Angelica Huston meme to tempt me, but… I won’t name names. I don’t want to be another target for his crazy. If he comes up in a thread, I may share privately to warn a client considering hiring him.

I know of one provider who’s been around for a couple decades with several hundred 5-star reviews on RentMen. The length of time makes sense why he would have gathered so many, but when I inquired here on CoM about him, I learned in private messages that he is known to badger his clients into leaving positive reviews, and he harasses or even threatens them until they leave one (or remove a bad one). Presumably he gets RM to remove the bad ones anyway, perhaps anything less than 5-stars. Nothing surprising here, but you would never be able to tell on the surface if he’s just really well regarded in the industry or if he is taking extreme measures to manufacture and maintain his reputation. It will catch up to him eventually. It always does. Ask here for references and verifications both publicly and privately. What may not show up in public reviews will likely surface here. Reviews are just the tip of the iceberg. For every one good review, I have dozens of client appointments that went really well and in person the clients sing my praises, but you will never see their feedback in a review.

^YES. This. It’s really helpful to post info to your profile. It shows you are serious. You don’t need to post a photo or stats but those are nice and do give a sense that you are more serious. The basics of what you’re looking for are the most helpful. You may want different things at different times, with different providers, so that only goes so far. Be clear about what you want when you contact your provider. Post your “intos” if you tend to have the same or similar range of interests in most of your encounters. For example, your kinks or fetishes, or kissing is really important to you, you like longer sessions with a dinner date, or you want to be dominated, or you are a strict bareback top, or what have you. The more you share, the more we get a sense of what you want, and we use that info to better serve you.

lol I have gags too. I like it when my clients express their pleasure verbally. Moaning, groaning, whimpering, begging, shouting. It’s all good. My place is very private and I have no concerns about my neighbors. That’s one of many reasons I choose to rent a detached house for my studio space. I get more turned on knowing my client is thoroughly enjoying himself, by whatever signals he sends me, and it becomes a feedback loop. I believe we all enjoy our physical sensations more when we express ourselves verbally. Not just in sex, but especially in sex.

^I love this. It’s my go-to approach unless the client indicates he wants something different, either verbally or non-verbally. I’m constantly reading his needs. And no, it’s not too much to expect or ask.