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Raptor Attack

By Raptor Attack
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Raptor Attack Rookie

Raptor Attack

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Please forgive me if I make no sense, or come off as a complete imbecile. This is my first time posting on this site, although I've been around reading and lurking for a while.

 

I greatly admire the industry you're all involved in, and completely support the career choices that have been made. Obviously. I'm here on this site, after all. Lol.

 

My name is Orion, and I suppose this is also a little hello on my end. My questions are probably going to be very dumb, so just have patience with me. I'm a trans man, FTM, and was wondering what kind of market there is for that. Would anyone even be interested in me without having a penis? I mean, I'm sure there is one, but what is it like? I'm pre-op, but on hormones as of this moment. My body isn't great, although I'm working on changing that. I know my physical appearance probably has quite a correlation with how much money would be involved, but I guess before I would want to even know about that I would want to know if it's even possible for someone like me to become an escort. I'm not exactly a beautiful person, and I'm okay with that. (I'm actually a truck driver.) Just, curiosity is eating at me.

 

I apologize if this thread is out of place, or I've conveyed my question in an odd way.

 

Thank you for your time. ^_^

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Kevin Slater Grand Master

Kevin Slater

Posted
Posted (edited)

I think we have maybe four or five trans posters somewhat active on this board, perhaps outnumbering out cis-gendered females. I don't know if you'd find their experiences relevant to yours, but you could try looking at posts by @Cyd_StVincent [uSER=15773]@Boy w/ the Phoenix Tattoo[/uSER] and [uSER=12528]@FTM_Twink[/uSER] et al to see if there's anything for you to glean.

 

Here's one thread to get you started: https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/what-about-trans-men-sex-workers.127427/#post-1340660

 

Also, read some of my posts. Not that I have fuck all to say about trans sex work, I'm just a great read. :p

 

Kevin Slater

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Keith30309 Grand Master

+ Keith30309

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Welcome Raptor!

 

This is definitely the place to ask questions of that nature and, yes, there are several trans man escorts who are members of this Forum (@Cyd_StVincent, [uSER=12528]@FTM_Twink[/uSER], [uSER=15773]@Boy w/ the Phoenix Tattoo[/uSER] etc) and in general.

 

If you search the forums for Trans, FTM, etc, you’ll find several discussions that may be of interest.

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Tarte Gogo Grand Master

+ Tarte Gogo

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Posted (edited)

Welcome!

I have reviewed a session with [uSER=15773]@Boy w/ the Phoenix Tattoo[/uSER] earlier this year and it was very nice, so yes, no problem hiring trans people for me, sometimes.

Although, just like any other escort, they need to catch my eye.

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purplekow Grand Master

+ purplekow

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Ha ha I thought your third sentence was going to read "People on this forum post dumb questions all the time." ;)

Mr Powers is much too subtle than to go in the obvious direction, this opinion gleaned from reading his posts on the forum and sharing time with him in the pursuit of pleasure.

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rogerG Rising Star

rogerG

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I wouldn't concern myself with what others think of me or my questions. Someone on the internet is bound to be disagreeable at some point. You just ignore them. I tend to think there is no such thing as a dumb question. Just dumb and unkind people.

 

Don't think it's a good idea to judge your own looks, either. It's not easy to second guess the sexual turn-ons of others. Some of history's most talented seducers were not considered model types.

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Raptor Attack Rookie

Raptor Attack

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Everyone here has been really, really kind so far. Gods. You're all great. Please. I appreciate the compliments! I'm definitely going to look more into this industry and see if it would be a good fit for me. I'm not exactly very fit or really good at passing right now, especially because I'm pre-op (but on testosterone). I'm working on it though. Trying to, at least. I have ass for days. :confused: So I'm hesitant to put myself out there, but you guys give me a lot more confidence to explore more.

 

Maybe I can move onto more generalized questions anyone can answer.

 

Um. Hm. What kind of skill sets would you recommend a beginner have? I've been a complete submissive bottom my entire life, and that's where I desire to stay. It's my comfort zone, honestly. Although is it more imperative that I also learn to become a good top and dom as well if I want to excel in this career field? Or could I make a decent amount of money just bottoming?

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José Soplanucas Grand Master

+ José Soplanucas

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Welcome to the forum, @Raptor Attack . Suggestive nick name, by the way. I am not an escort, so I apologize for jumping to answer your question.

I fully agree with the friends who advised you to contact the trans members, they are smart, honest, and super supportive.

You seem very concerned about your looks. You are right when you say your appearance is important and there is a correlation between it and your success in the industry. However, let me add some caveats.

  • Your appearance can change. You share you are working on it. Working out, hormones, surgery, there are many options to effect changes in the way you look.
  • You are trying to become a sex worker, not a model. When we are talking about sexual attraction, beauty becomes secondary to other skills and attributes. Of course if you look like Quasimodo you rather stay hidden in Notredame. But if you are just an average or a little ugly looking man, you still have very good chances if you have sex appeal. What sex appeal is depends on the eyes of the beholder (just as beauty). I find attractive confident, masculine, sensual, teasing, horny men, with very specific smells and even with little physical flaws (like a gap in between his tooth), and certain mannerisms in his speech, but my next door neighbor may like exactly the opposite. So rather than asking yourself whether or not you are beautiful, you should know whether or not you are attractive. Attractive and Beautiful are not the same, and you are not applying to work in a Beauty Industry.
  • I mentioned before your skills. Besides being attractive, they are the other key of your chances to succeed. Are you able to find attraction in most men, are you able to enjoy the sexual act with any men as though it was your choice, are you able to perform in the sack with any men as well and enjoying just as much as you would with your boyfriend? If you answer is yes, do not worry, you have what you need.

Again, welcome and good luck.

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Raptor Attack Rookie

Raptor Attack

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Welcome to the forum, @Raptor Attack . Suggestive nick name, by the way. I am not an escort, so I apologize for jumping to answer your question.

I fully agree with the friends who advised you to contact the trans members, they are smart, honest, and super supportive.

You seem very concerned about your looks. You are right when you say your appearance is important and there is a correlation between it and your success in the industry. However, let me add some caveats.

  • Your appearance can change. You share you are working on it. Working out, hormones, surgery, there are many options to effect changes in the way you look.
  • You are trying to become a sex worker, not a model. When we are talking about sexual attraction, beauty becomes secondary to other skills and attributes. Of course if you look like Quasimodo you rather stay hidden in Notredame. But if you are just an average or a little ugly looking man, you still have very good chances if you have sex appeal. What sex appeal is depends on the eyes of the beholder (just as beauty). I find attractive confident, masculine, sensual, teasing, horny men, with very specific smells and even with little physical flaws (like a gap in between his tooth), and certain mannerisms in his speech, but my next door neighbor may like exactly the opposite. So rather than asking yourself whether or not you are beautiful, you should know whether or not you are attractive. Attractive and Beautiful are not the same, and you are not applying to work in a Beauty Industry.
  • I mentioned before your skills. Besides being attractive, they are the other key of your chances to succeed. Are you able to find attraction in most men, are you able to enjoy the sexual act with any men as though it was your choice, are you able to perform in the sack with any men as well and enjoying just as much as you would with your boyfriend? If you answer is yes, do not worry, you have what you need.

Again, welcome and good luck.

This is very, very reassuring. Thank you so much for the time you put into this response. I'll take all of this to heart and mull over it. You're right. Absolutely right. It's hard to stay positive sometimes. Especially with being transgender, we get a lot of talking down to and, well. I'm sure you can assume all the nasty things people say to us. So I appreciate the small slap in the face with some reality and how things really are. ^_^

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Keith30309 Grand Master

+ Keith30309

Posted
Posted

To add on to @latbear4blk 's comments, I think that there are some elements of professionalism that bear some thought regardless of niche. Based on the contents of lots of reviews and discussions here, I think that a few things differentiate good companions from great ones.

 

Some of the common sense things that are mentioned in reviews:

  1. Clear timely communications in scheduling and confirming meetings and setting expectations (be it text, email, voice, etc). What is obvious to you may include unstated assumptions your client doesn't know
     
  2. Being on time and ready when you meet (I've arrived at apartments at the same time as an unshowered companion carrying grocery bags.) For incalls, maintain a reasonably neat, clean, relaxing environment. (I love dogs but not in the bed with me, stepping over piles of dirty laundry on the floor sucks, cigarette smoke makes me sneeze and my wallet pucker, I'm not fond of thrash-metal turned up to '10', etc)
     
  3. Have whatever supplies that may be needed for a likely meeting (I've been asked to go to the drug store more times than I prefer); include fresh towels, bottled water and whatever else a reasonable person might find pleasant.
     
  4. For an incall make your client aware of any location-specific things that would be helpful: Parking, building security procedures, roommates I may meet, large dogs I may encounter, very clear directions for finding your apartment if in a complex. I recently spend 30 minutes dealing with a building security staff explaining who I was and why I was there when visiting a companion while he was oblivious sitting in his apartment; I almost walked away.
     
  5. Be 'present' mentally and focused on the client for your time together. (Everyone has stories of escorts texting and phoning during meets or focused on lots of things other than the person they are with.)
  6. Being 'mentally present' includes both you and your client agreeing in advance to abstain from any chemicals unless otherwise agreed to in advance. (Again, lots of stories about meth'ed-out tweakers and scary high clients).
  7. Get a sense in the middle of your time of your client's enjoyment of your company thusfar. I hear of lots of instances of a client describing a poor experience and the companion had no idea things went badly. Ask "are things going as you expected". Conversely, it's not fair for a client to remain mute about dissatisfaction while face-to-face and later submit a negative review/comments.
     
  8. Have the safer-sex discussion in advance (most recently, thank you @JudasKane, @IronMaus and @Eric Hassan!)
  9. Send a brief 'thank you' text after. The lack of this completely mystifies me... if I've just left $600 on your kitchen counter then it would make allot of sense to take 20 seconds and send me a 'it was nice meeting you' text message

 

I'm sure other clients have their own suggestions.

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Eric Hassan Mentor

+ Eric Hassan

Posted
Posted
Please forgive me if I make no sense, or come off as a complete imbecile. This is my first time posting on this site, although I've been around reading and lurking for a while.

 

I greatly admire the industry you're all involved in, and completely support the career choices that have been made. Obviously. I'm here on this site, after all. Lol.

 

My name is Orion, and I suppose this is also a little hello on my end. My questions are probably going to be very dumb, so just have patience with me. I'm a trans man, FTM, and was wondering what kind of market there is for that. Would anyone even be interested in me without having a penis? I mean, I'm sure there is one, but what is it like? I'm pre-op, but on hormones as of this moment. My body isn't great, although I'm working on changing that. I know my physical appearance probably has quite a correlation with how much money would be involved, but I guess before I would want to even know about that I would want to know if it's even possible for someone like me to become an escort. I'm not exactly a beautiful person, and I'm okay with that. (I'm actually a truck driver.) Just, curiosity is eating at me.

 

I apologize if this thread is out of place, or I've conveyed my question in an odd way.

 

Thank you for your time. ^_^

 

Welcome to the forum, Orion!

 

I second what @latbear4blk and @Keith30309 have to say. I also want to add a few things:

 

1. Your body is great. It's fair to say there are things that you would like to change and to work on making those changes. You might be tempted - hell, we're all tempted - to compare our bodies to other people and especially to generally accepted beauty standards. But, remember that just because people think something is true doesn't make it so. A lot of people believed the world was flat. And a lot of people think 6 pack abs or big muscles are what's "beautiful." It's all just made up shit that enough people agree with but that doesn't mean you have to agree. It's not bad, it's just helpful to remember that reality is nothing more than enough people agreeing to it, but it doesn't mean everyone agrees, and it doesn't mean you have to agree, either.

 

2. Your physical appearance will have an impact on your business, but the bigger impact is going to be made by the kind of person you are. Here's a personal anecdote: I have a beard and I shave my balls. I have had people tell me that I should grow my beard much longer and I have had guys say they won't hire me unless I shave my beard off. I've had guys request that I shave my whole crotch area smooth and others lament the fact I don't have a full bush and hairy balls. I've also had guys tell me that they wouldn't have hired me based on my looks, but when they read my blog or my posts on here, they chose to hire me. You could drive yourself nuts trying to perfect a look that will garner approval from everyone and it's still not gonna happen. Who you are matters way more than what you look like. Some will find you attractive, some will not. Your looks will attract some people to hire you - but it's what you share about yourself, the professional behaviour you demonstrate, and how you make people feel that will have people come back to you, or consider you beyond your looks.

 

3. I've personally met and spent time with [uSER=12528]@FTM_Twink[/uSER] and [uSER=15773]@Boy w/ the Phoenix Tattoo[/uSER] and advise you, as other have, to message them and say hello. I also advise you to participate in these forums with all of us. There are many different voices here and there's a lot of value in participating in this community.

 

4. You ARE beautiful. Not because I said so. Not because anyone says so. Just because you are.

 

If there's anything I can do, please feel free to message me. Otherwise, peruse the forums, join in some conversations, and have fun!

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Cyd_StVincent Enthusiast

Cyd_StVincent

Posted
Posted

Hey! Sorry I just got your message. I am going to share some thoughts here because I'm sure there might be other lurkers and it could be useful for posterities sake. I think people have shared really good general advice and support here, which I would absolutely agree with. I'm going to go into the specificities of things that may or may not be relevant to your situation. In my tone I want to be encouraging but also realistic, so hopefully that comes across :)

 

I've been an FTM escort for what I imagine is longer than most on here, I transitioned on the job as it were in 2010. When I was earlier on in my transition the market for gay men interested in a man with a gender ambiguous body wasn't very big and so I worked as a woman until hormones made it too awkward to do that, and I got top surgery soon after. Now, times have changed. I think as a whole cis gay men are much more interested in people with different types of bodies, including trans bodies, now. Now, I'm not going to make any assumptions about what you look like (although your headshot is super cute) but since you said you don't always pass, I'm going to give advice kind of in response to that

 

How you want to advertise yourself has totally to do with the following things:

The amount of clients you want to see

The cultural literacy in the region you live in (do people know what trans is?)

What your body looks like and how you present yourself

Your comfort with how you like your body touched, referred to, safe sex practices

 

Cis women, including butchy tomboy gender weirdo cis women generally see more clients than trans guys, at a higher rate and with more ability to navigate boundaries. If it is not the situation that you can either pass as female or you don't want to, marketing will be more difficult - but as you've seen from the friendliness you've received here there will absolutely be gay and bi men who are excited to hire you, but the pool will be smaller and the rate you can charge might be lower as well. If you are doing sex work to try it out or to have side money to support yourself through transition thats totally fine though - there are free or cheaper sites you can advertise on (hourboy, craigslist dating, backpage) and you can put up an ad and wait for the perfect person to come to you. I do feel like rentmen is also the site that has brought me the best, most trans competent, clients although it costs more.

 

I honestly suggest to people new to the sex industry that they try different types of work before going to escorting, especially trans people. There are a lot of power dynamics that arise during sessions, especially when you are new and anxious about doing well - and while some people will be kind to you others may take advantage of any nervousness about maintaining boundaries. Getting used to the practice of engaging with strangers sexually for pay through something that inherently restricts physical connection can be a good way to learn how to communicate firmly and welcomingly.

 

Sometimes trans guys approach me with the assumption that once you open up shop the crowds come rushing in. Unfortunately that isn't true. As a trans guy whose pretty well established in the porn industry, with regulars, living in NYC it still takes me continuous work and marketing to find the clientele I need to have it be my only, comfortable form of income. Don't quit your day job until you really have a groove, sex work can be amazing fun and wonderful but when you are doing it because you are dead ass broke it is much less likely to be any of those things.

 

For trans people sex work can be a landmine of both validation and insecurity. Doing sex work through transition gave me some really deeply healing experiences and relationships that made me as confident as I am today. I also fretted over other people getting more clients, felt (and feel) jealous when I look at other peoples bodies, had clients say some really wacky shit that haunted me for a long time. It is important to develop a habit of validating yourself and approving of your body outside of the sex industry, because if you exist only at its whims its gonna hurt.

 

Good luck and if you have any specific questions please let me know. This forum is a great place to learn and make relationships with some solid people, I'm glad you are here.

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VictorPowers Mentor

+ VictorPowers

Posted
Posted
Welcome to the forum, Orion!

 

I second what @latbear4blk and @Keith30309 have to say. I also want to add a few things:

 

Your physical appearance will have an impact on your business, but the bigger impact is going to be made by the kind of person you are.

Otherwise, peruse the forums, join in some conversations, and have fun!

 

SO TRUE!

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Guy Fawkes Grand Master

Guy Fawkes

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Google: site:daddysreviews.com transman

 

Please forgive me if I make no sense, or come off as a complete imbecile. This is my first time posting on this site, although I've been around reading and lurking for a while.

 

I greatly admire the industry you're all involved in, and completely support the career choices that have been made. Obviously. I'm here on this site, after all. Lol.

 

My name is Orion, and I suppose this is also a little hello on my end. My questions are probably going to be very dumb, so just have patience with me. I'm a trans man, FTM, and was wondering what kind of market there is for that. Would anyone even be interested in me without having a penis? I mean, I'm sure there is one, but what is it like? I'm pre-op, but on hormones as of this moment. My body isn't great, although I'm working on changing that. I know my physical appearance probably has quite a correlation with how much money would be involved, but I guess before I would want to even know about that I would want to know if it's even possible for someone like me to become an escort. I'm not exactly a beautiful person, and I'm okay with that. (I'm actually a truck driver.) Just, curiosity is eating at me.

 

I apologize if this thread is out of place, or I've conveyed my question in an odd way.

 

Thank you for your time. ^_^

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Raptor Attack Rookie

Raptor Attack

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Wow. This got a lot of responses while I was gone. As usual, thank you so much for all the input that has been given.

 

My biggest concern now is I guess getting started. Where would be the best place for me to go to offer my time and companionship in exchange for money? I know a fair bit of the websites, but I figured I'd ask you guys for some good ones. Also, does the business do well in college towns usually?

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AndreFuture Community Regular

AndreFuture

Posted
Posted

Hey @Raptor Attack ,

 

 

A lot of great info already posted here, so I'll try not to be too repetitive. I'll preface by saying that my experience isn't necessarily reflective of the industry (after all, I'm a Black, skinny, kinda femme, pre-op, trans guy), but I hope it will help you get a better sense of what you might expect.

 

Does anyone want trans guys?

Reception has generally been positive for me. In one sense, it's been very affirming because I, too, feared no one would be interested in me because chiseled, cis masculine bodies are what's idealized. As cliché as it is, there's literally someone for everyone and you'll find guys who are attracted to you and what you have to offer. I’m also on hormones but no surgery—some guys are attracted to that or at least curious. Your attractiveness will greatly increase based on how you see yourself, too, so think about what parts of yourself you love most and highlight that.

 

 

Learn your market.

Escorting is a business like any other, and successful business usually thrive on more than luck. Definitely research your market and “competition” (to borrow a business term, because we don’t compete against each other), learn who is already out there, and what you can provide that is different or not yet available. Being trans gives you some leverage in that regard because you’ll automatically stand out from the multitude of cis guys who embody the idealized frat boy or gym rat look. The point is, think about how you’ll market yourself.

 

Starting out can happen in may ways, and factors such as your location, profile photos, rates, and income need will affect how you proceed. I had a full-time job when I started, and was based in a major metro. Because this wasn’t my main source of income and I had limited hours, I didn’t have or take on a lot of clients.

 

 

Places to advertise.

I started with a free trial at Rentmen and got my first client there. I read a lot about escorting, mostly from women, and learned things to be careful about, red flags to watch out for, etc., and went to my first appointment with a guy who was also new to hiring and didn’t know what to expect. I’ve also advertised on Backpage, Craigslist (CL), and Adam4Adam (A4A). I got a few clients on CL and A4A. Since CL is free, you’ll get a lot more time wasters and perhaps some unsavory characters who look very poorly upon sex workers, so screening will be especially important. A4A is also free, but you can’t mark yourself as a “service provider” without a paid account, so you’ll get a lot of guys looking to hook up, even if you use coded language suggesting you’re there for business. I’d suggest trying a A4A Pro ad for a short period and seeing what response you get. Some platforms are more popular in certain places than others (e.g., I think men4rentnow is popular in small towns in the US), so I’d suggest trying them all out (at least the free ones).

 

I’ve learned that a good portion of my clients are bi-curious if not straight, so I’m starting to consider other traditional (aka “straight” or “not gay”) escort platforms like Slixa, Eros, and P411 to see if I can expand my client base.

 

 

Photos.

I also only had a crappy digital camera to take pictures—I can’t stress enough how important good photos are. If you have a photographer friend who could help or can negotiate a reduced rate in exchange for photo credit, getting professional photos is highly recommended. I know I’m giving advise I have yet to take…I’m in a transition period right now, but plan to take some new photos within the net month or so.

 

 

 

Rates.

As @Cyd_StVincent said, women can way charge more for their services (I’ve seen many ask for $600 per hour or more), whereas most M4M escorts hover around $200-300. Again, there’s no hard rule: I know a male escort who is open to all genders who asks for $600. I would resist the temptation to underprice yourself as some guys read that as a red flag.

 

 

Handling safety, LEOs, client expectations.

Turns out, protocol in the M4M world and straight world is very different. I’ve read about women providers setting alarm clocks and kicking clients out right away, counting money in the bathroom (or in front of the client), and other tactics that the guys on here would balk at. Where you advertise and how you market yourself might affect how clients expect to interact with you, but at the end of the day, your safety comes first and you can decide how to handle clients in a way that makes you feel safe. Develop some screening methods based on the type of clients you have (it seems this is another place where M4M and women providers differ as well in the type and level of screening).

 

 

Develop a network of peers.

Related to safety is your social circle/peer network. Find out who are also sex workers in your area and see if you can meet up with them for coffee or lunch or whatever. Even if they’re not local, knowing other escorts is really helpful, especially if you’re not out in your civilian life as an escort. Knowing fellow providers is invaluable for getting tips on screening, advertising, LEO raid warnings, etc. I’ve connected with lots of great sex workers through this forum and on Twitter and most are happy to help each other stay safe. You’ve obviously started doing this by posting here, so keep it up!

 

Reading other providers’ experiences and participating in places such as Daddy’s will help you learn some common things to watch out regarding LEOs, bad clients, and safety concerns. There’s too many to even list here, but a fundamental one you should always remember is “if it’s too good to be true, it probably is.” Also, if you’re unsure, don’t do it. The worst is you lose a client if you go with your gut a decline an appointment.

 

 

Conclusion.

There’s so much to learn, and even with experience, no one is an “expert.” Connecting with others, being open to learning, keeping your wits about you, and developing as many safety nets as you can afford will take you a long way. Feel free to follow me on Twitter @AndreFutureFTM :)

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