First time impending: a jangle of nerves with a jumble of questions here

[Despardo]

Update: I have received a lot of great advice and counsel here and in private PMs, and for that I want to say thank you. I truly appreciate everyone's input and caring enough to take time to help a stranger. I am a nervous person by nature, and I'm self aware enough to realize what my hangups are and that it's my responsibility to breathe, relax, and focus on positive thoughts about myself. No one else can do that for me.

 

After spending all day yesterday with my stomach literally in knots at times wondering what to do, I finally mustered the courage last night to text (have I told you how much I loathe texting?) the guy. I was upfront about my disappointment in his unwillingness to talk with me before meeting. Then I laid out all the things I'm interested in for the session tomorrow. I figured he'd text me back this morning (and was secretly hoping he'd understand how a brief phone call might allay some of my nerves). Well, all morning long I waited and no text. I had literally decided 15 minutes ago that this wasn't worth the stress in the pit of my stomach and decided to cancel. I kid you not, I picked up the phone to text that I had decided not to go through with the appointment when a text came through from him. Serendipity? A sign that I am meant to go through with this? Who knows. Not sure I believe in such things. But the long and the short of it is that his text was very encouraging. He sent me several pics that align with my professed fetishes, AND he offered to phone me this evening. So it is on for tomorrow.

Oh thank god! If you had cancelled after all of this, it would have been such an anticlimax.

[BabyBoomer]

Oh thank god! If you had cancelled after all of this, it would have been such an anticlimax.

 

It's not tomorrow yet.

 

~Boomer~

[Deadlift1]

well what happened

[youngboldone]

We met yesterday afternoon. I was so nervous I thought everyone on the street could hear my heart pounding as I walked to the hotel. I took several deep breaths in the elevator and resolved that I was going to have fun. He was great at reassuring me from the start. Kept checking in with me to make sure I was okay and enjoying myself. Not sure how much detail I can go into here. I am still processing it to be honest. I got the sense he wasn't all that turned on by me (I'm 44 with a fit runner's build). I know the extent of my enjoyment was mitigated by how much I was able to let go of my insecurities and anxieties.

[youngboldone]

I keep coming back to "chemistry". It wasn't really there. There wasn't a spark or an electric current feeling. Though I'm wondering how much of that is an unrealistic expectation. How much chemistry can you have with someone you've never met before? Mulling this around in my head.

[Rudynate]

I keep coming back to "chemistry". It wasn't really there. There wasn't a spark or an electric current feeling. Though I'm wondering how much of that is an unrealistic expectation. How much chemistry can you have with someone you've never met before? Mulling this around in my head.

 

Sometimes it's there, sometimes it's not.

[+ azdr0710]

there's a chance he may ?? be a bit jaded from years of all this escort work and that may be why you think he didn't seem into you (despite you being younger and in good shape!)......but it also sounds like he knew the deal and tried to help you out.....

 

don't take it too seriously at all......and I'd wait several weeks before trying another meet......as you said, "process" this and think about what it meant for you and how you felt.....did it work for you?....did you get what you wanted?

 

I'm glad you decided ahead of time to have fun and to not agonize over it.....very, very important.......

 

as always, stick with well-established guys with good reviews here in the forum/daddysreviews in the future......be honest and communicate ahead of time

[youngboldone]

It's odd that you phrase it that way, azdr0710 - "jaded". I was trying to pinpoint what felt "off" at times during our encounter, and at times I did get the sense that it was "work" for him - going through the motions but not really enjoying himself. I hope I'm not making it sound worse than it was. I truly enjoyed meeting him. He's a very easy guy to converse with and very well traveled and well read. I just didn't feel that we truly managed to connect, though as I've said I'm wondering how much of that to attribute to my own esteem issues and general lack of experience in the bedroom. I felt I was quite eager and GGG in most respects yesterday. I'm trying not to overanalyze and just see it for what it was, a learning experience and a pleasant couple of hours. What does it say, though, that I found myself looking at the clock at least 4 times during the two hours?

[Populist Fury]

lmao. That's why you only hire for an hour first to see if there's chemistry or not.

 

Don't let this first encounter get you down tho, there are plenty of better, much more beautiful & passionate guys out there to choose from for your next hire.

[+ azdr0710]

What does it say, though, that I found myself looking at the clock at least 4 times during the two hours?

 

I look at the clock a lot at meets. I want to make sure I don't run out of time before I get all I want!

[+ kov78]

Let him know you have thought about role-play but are unsure as to whether you want a role-play scene.

 

I had messaged with a provider and honestly i would never had talked about fantasy stuff on my own. at Least i would not have brought it up. But he was SO easy to talk to and he brought things up in regards to what I'd like to do. After he opened the door I couldn't believe the stuff that i was talking about lol. Nothing crazy but in my mind just private stuff i would not have thought about bringing up to a stranger. I'm SO glad the topic was breached because it made things so much better in the end. You don't need to bring up specifics, right off, but I really think now that if you don't crack the door a little bit, you're truly going to miss out on what could be an amazing experience.

[+ purplekow]

First Congratulations, another cherry popped to dust.

Second You may not want to meet him again, but do you want to meet anyone else. If you want to do that, and can afford it, get right back into the saddle and hire again. Think of this as shampoo...apply, rinse, repeat. The

repeat part is very important. It gets rid of the lingering bits that you really do not want and leaves you

refreshed and ready to face the world.

Third You mention that you felt your expectations may have interfered in your ability to fully enjoy yourself. The

longer you wait, the longer time you have to get inside your head again.

 

Different perspective from others, but I think in this case, more will be more.

[youngboldone]

Thanks, purplekow. The cherry still hasn't officially been popped because things didn't progress quite to that point, if you get my drift. I would still prefer to save that for my husband provided he ever decides to show physical interest in me again. But that's probably a subject for an entirely new thread. I know there was quite a bit of guilt feeling going on my head that I was even doing this, but after 5 years of unwanted celibacy, I truly was going out of my mind. Unfortunately, I don't have the means to make this a regular thing, so it will be months if not a year before I have the ability to do this again. All the more reason why the next time I hope to see Tristan Baldwin or Mike Gaite or someone else who has a sterling reputation for being able to guide newbies like me and truly connect with you. I didn't feel that connection was truly there yesterday. I very much felt like it was "work" on his part. And I am not a bad looking guy by any means. I know some of it was on me and not fully being able to let down my walls, but a lot of it was on him. It was apparent he wasn't into me.

[TruthBTold]

I have found that it doesn't take too long to meet a person that you have a certain "chemistry" with. "Chemistry" does not necessarily mean (I don't think) that I want to marry him. All it means is that I can talk to him with a certain ease and we can touch each other with a certain ease. The ease might totally be there on the first meeting or it might to develop more and more the more dates you have. You keep seeing him and developing that hot escort relationship or you see someone else to start the process. Do not let "do not feel that he was all that turned on by me" be the standard.

[Deadlift1]

I hope you get treatment for your anxiety.

[+ azdr0710]

I hope you get treatment for your anxiety.

 

always the grumpy reply.....an utterly useless post

[Deadlift1]

It wasnt grumpy and I hope he does. Anxiety such as that can be paralyzing preventing people from enjoying life.

[Deadlift1]

always the grumpy reply.....an utterly useless post

obviously as always you havent read all of the posts

[rvwnsd]

always the grumpy reply.....an utterly useless post

It isn't grumpiness, @azdr0710. It is an affliction discovered by the famous Polish physician, Fikcyjny Lekarz, called "Być dupkiem." In most cases, if you just ignore it (and that means NO SCRATCHING), it will go away by itself.