Preferred method - declining

[LaffingBear]

There have been many posts about communications, follow-up, texting, etc.

 

I'm curious if my attitude is same, or different from others'. So:

 

Clients: would you prefer an escort/masseur communicate "sorry, I dont care to see you." or some similar polite rejection? Or that he simply doesn't respond or stops communicating?

Escorts: what's your preference for rejecting a potential client, or a repeat? Politely tell them "no" or just don't respond/don't answer?

[tanman4u]

I'd much rather a polite rejection, maybe with a little white lie: "I'm tied up in school this week", "I'm recovering from the flu", etc., etc. I don't think I'd like to hear "I don't care to see you".

[bostonman]

I'd much rather a polite rejection, maybe with a little white lie: "I'm tied up in school this week", "I'm recovering from the flu", etc., etc. I don't think I'd like to hear "I don't care to see you".

 

Generally yes - but I think it's not a bad thing to hear or say that ultimately we're just not the right fit for each other, etc.

 

Plus, occasionally those "little white lies" are actually true lol. The first professional escort I hired had to postpone due to having thrown his back out. Sounded like an excuse but he really meant it - we set another date and did meet. And it was very worth the wait.

 

I think I've mentioned out here before that I had made an appointment with someone for the night after the election - and then called him back to reschedule because I just wasn't in the mood lol. He understood, and actually told me that if I wanted his company for free, he'd still come over and we could just sit and talk as friends. I was pretty amazed at the offer, and I did take him up on it. We had a nice time - and then the sex did happen at a later date.

 

But yeah - if it's not going to work out, on either side, I think gentle honesty is most often the best policy.

[+ bashful]

While a polite rejection is nice, if there is no response, I just consider the question asked, and answered. In my work life, I learned it was just as important to pay attention to what wasn't said, in fact, even more so, than what was said.

[LaffingBear]

Completely ignoring is the ultimate "I don't care to see you." No need to politely explain, because the irritating, "But, but, but, why?" ALWAYS follows. I would know. I (used?) to be "that guy".

Wow... we're all so different.

 

When politely rejected, I sting for a second, then move on. Never ever would "but but but", ask questions, etc.

 

When no response, I wonder if he got message. I texted, next I'll try email. In the limbo of not knowing, I might unknowingly be a pest. Particularly with follow-ups. And, that's been reinforced by the 10-15% of guys who respond days later, with a reason for the delay.

 

I prefer knowing for certain.

[Rudynate]

There have been many posts about communications, follow-up, texting, etc.

 

I'm curious if my attitude is same, or different from others'. So:

 

Clients: would you prefer an escort/masseur communicate "sorry, I dont care to see you." or some similar polite rejection? Or that he simply doesn't respond or stops communicating?

Escorts: what's your preference for rejecting a potential client, or a repeat? Politely tell them "no" or just don't respond/don't answer?

 

The sexual marketplace (paid and unpaid) has always been a rather heartless place. Having gotten used to that, if I reached out to a previous hire, and didn't hear back after a couple of tries, I would be philosophical about it, telling myself something like, "Oh well, nothing's forever." I appreciate, more and more, the importance of allowing people to save face, so I would admire the sensitivity of somebody who gave me a polite blow-off.

[BasketBaller]

Plus, occasionally those "little white lies" are actually true lol.

 

That's true on the client side, too. The very first time I was hiring, having agonized over the decision, I had to postpone because one of my kids was sick. I did reschedule right away and it ended up being a bonding experience, since the escort in question told me he understood because he has a daughter!

[+ azdr0710]

"Thanks very much for the inquiry, but I don't think we'd be a good match."

[jawjateck]

It does not matter why or how a guy chooses to avoid a meeting with me. Former companions discontinue seeing me or quit the biz for a variety of reasons. I don't overthink that either. Obviously, I stop seeing companions too, and I don't communicate the reason(s).

[+ purplekow]

If I am given a reasonably direct refusal, even if it is hurtful, I will move on with closure. When I get explanations or excuses which sound half baked and less than truthful, my nature is not to let it go until I feel as though I have gotten a reasonable answer. White lies only prolong the interaction. If someone says they have the flu, well I might call in a few days to see how they are doing. If they say, I have no interest in seeing me, well there seems little need to call.

No answer at all is not professional and if you have met the escort in the past, it is disrespectful.

[LaffingBear]

"Thanks very much for the inquiry, but I don't think we're a good match."

If only everyone did that.

 

I'm aware that people are very nervous and hesitant about delivering rejection messages. Even politely.

 

I'm not wired for little white lies. I never could tell someone "lets do lunch" if I had no intent of doing so. I can't lie and tell someone their cooking is delicious. Or that they look fantastic if I dont believe they do. I try to find other things to say. I'm not brutally honest with my opinions. But I can't play the harmless lie game.

 

And I can't choose the no response IS a response method.

[+ purplekow]

It does not matter why or how a guy chooses to avoid a meeting with me. Former companions discontinue seeing me or quit the biz for a variety of reasons. I don't overthink that either. Obviously, I stop seeing companions too, and I don't communicate the reason(s).

If I choose to change barbers, if my barber asks I would tell him why.

If my barber decides not to cut my hair, well I want to know why he is refusing my business.

The same with escorts. If they want to know why I have moved on, I tell them. If they are refusing my business, I think I am deserving of some type of explanation.

[tanman4u]

Well I'm not an escort (obviously) but I have a "canned" reply for A4A that says "thanks for the interest but I'm afraid we're not a match. I wish you well in the hunt and a great weekend/or rest of the week".

[+ purplekow]

If only everyone did that.

 

I'm aware that people are very nervous and hesitant about delivering rejection messages. Even politely.

 

I'm not wired for little white lies. I never could tell someone "lets do lunch" if I had no intent of doing so. I can't lie and tell someone their cooking is delicious. Or that they look fantastic if I dont believe they do. I try to find other things to say. I'm not brutally honest with my opinions. But I can't play the harmless lie game.

 

And I can't choose the no response IS a response method.

 

 

Man that certainly is a baby.

Who would have though you would look like that in that dress.

Man, that is quite the haircut.

I do not think I have ever heard that song sung in just that way.

 

Polite, non committal and open to interpretation by the listener. Not my style but there is certainly an art to the evasive non-committal comment.

[tanman4u]

If I choose to change barbers, if my barber asks I would tell him why.

If my barber decides not to cut my hair, well I want to know why he is refusing my business.

The same with escorts. If they want to know why I have moved on, I tell them. If they are refusing my business, I think I am deserving of some type of explanation.

 

If I had a regular escort that I had decided to stop seeing then yes I would feel like he wouldn't be out of line for asking why. Same thing if he suddenly stopped wanting to see me. But my hirings are exclusively when traveling so I'm nobody's regular. I would rather a potential hire come up with a little lie so I'm left feeling OK rather than hearing something like "you're way to old/out of shape/etc" I don't need to hear that from anyone.

[LaffingBear]

If I had a regular escort that I had decided to stop seeing then yes I would feel like he wouldn't be out of line for asking why. Same thing if he suddenly stopped wanting to see me. But my hirings are exclusively when traveling so I'm nobody's regular. I would rather a potential hire come up with a little lie so I'm left feeling OK rather than hearing something like "you're way to old/out of shape/etc" I don't need to hear that from anyone.

How about

 

"Sorry, I dont think I can make it"

 

So at least youre not waiting on some reply.

[+ José Soplanucas]

Silence is fine, no need for explanations. He does not know me, I am not important enough to invest time on an explanation. I do not know him, he is not important enough to give a second thought to the issue.

[LaffingBear]

Silence is fine, no need for explanations. He does not know me, I am not important enough to invest time on an explanation. I do not know him, he is not important enough to give a second thought to the issue.

I repeat.... wow, we're all very different.

 

I dont seek explanations... just acknowledgment.

 

If an escort just never responded to my inquiries... I wouldn't actively initiate a review. But if there was an info request here, I'd share that his communications were inconsiderate, non-responsive.

 

If he sent a polite, declining reply, I'd say nothing.

 

Doesn't no reply at all encourage clients to contact multiple, potential hires? Don't escorts hate that?... they responded in 90 minutes, but because I'd been conditioned to interpret no-response as NO, I increased my chances by contacting several, and scheduling the first responder?

[+ Funguy]

I have never encountered a rejection, only a not available at that time (or date) and a different time/date was chosen. I really don't know how i would feel with an outright rejection because i am of the philosophy that: sorry you feel that way, but since i've never met you I don't know whether or not we'd ... (fill in the blank).

 

On the other hand, a non-reply to an email or text or voice mail is the ultimate rejection and is simply rude. Doesn't matter if it is escorting, other business, personal/friend, etc. If you don't want to meet or whatever the situation, just say you are busy but do not leave somebody hanging (esp. by his balls)!

[MikeyGMin]

"Thanks very much for the inquiry, but I don't think we'd be a good match."

Ouch. I would much rather be annoyed at him for not responding then left wondering what was wrong with me. The kindest thing he can do for me is let me believe he is a flake.

[+ nycman]

I prefer some type of communication so I can move on.

 

I suspect most just of the silence route however.

[Deadlift1]

A popular escort comes to a city for a few days of business and quickly books up. After arriving he still receives requests for services. He doesn't decline the additional requests in case one of his bookings drops out. Those additional potential customers become waitlisted and if nothing opens up they never hear back from the escort.

 

In most cases he doesnt have the time to stroke an elderly Daddys reviewer. Then the bitchy queen thinks the escort doesnt deserve his business if he cant communicate. Bitchy queen then badmouths him to his friends on Daddys review. But how should I know. I have never been turned down or ignored by an escort.

[+ azdr0710]

Ouch. I would much rather be annoyed at him for not responding then left wondering what was wrong with me. The kindest thing he can do for me is let me believe he is a flake.

 

yes, I vacillated over posting this type reply because it certainly does leave open the question of who created the mismatch (and if there really even is a mismatch!)....the ol' "It's not you. It's me." saw.....I'd perpetually wonder if I said or did something......it is hoped this reply is offered AFTER some back-and-forth that makes the mismatch evident in the first place

[SuperJunior]

There have been many posts about communications, follow-up, texting, etc.

 

I'm curious if my attitude is same, or different from others'. So:

 

Clients: would you prefer an escort/masseur communicate "sorry, I dont care to see you." or some similar polite rejection? Or that he simply doesn't respond or stops communicating?

Escorts: what's your preference for rejecting a potential client, or a repeat? Politely tell them "no" or just don't respond/don't answer?

 

What about the reverse? Are escorts never rejected? What if a client needs to communicate that he's really more into hairy hulks rather than trim twinks?

[LaffingBear]

What about the reverse? Are escorts never rejected? What if a client needs to communicate that he's really more into hairy hulks rather than trim thinks?

Same exact situation to me.

 

I dont feel an obligation to tag ads saying no thanks.

 

But if I replied to an escort ad... and additional or more recent pictures, or communications about actions, preferences, or limits, resulted in my losing interest.....

 

Id absolutely feel an obligation to say. "Hey, thanks, but I dont think its going to work out"

 

And, I do always follow up.... I never just disappear.