deleted this

[Cannon]

decided to delete this

[+ Topseed]

Live in the truth.

 

Talk to him as directly as you have written here.

 

Be prepared for the full range of responses; you don't get to write his part in this script.

[Becket]

Trying not to be my usual cynical self.........many of us here would gladly give a kidney for the situation in which you find yourself. You don't mention whether or not your relationship is escort/ client or two guys dating. If it is the latter perhaps this is not the right forum for dating advice. Since you did take the time to post an honest and thoughtful question perhaps you will find some help to guide you through whatever is next. I can't help but hear the words of Don Henley : "When you find somebody to love you better hang on tooth and nail...."

[BaronArtz]

Be honest with him and have a friendly conversation about what you think the issues are. You may be surprised to hear his side of things. Hopefully, you can both move forward. Good luck!

[+ José Soplanucas]

http://www.denverpost.com/ask-amy/

[YoungAD]

Be honest with him and have a friendly conversation about what you think the issues are. You may be surprised to hear his side of things. Hopefully, you can both move forward. Good luck!

 

Pretend he has a vagina.

[+ sync]

You have stated that you are "very attracted to him, love his body, and he's a really nice guy," and that after you were distancing yourself from the relationship, he lured you back into it by offering exclusivity and you went for it. Please understand that I have sympathy for your distress, but I'm thinking that it may be beneficial for you to take a look within yourself to try to understand why your libido is not responding to someone who checks so many of your boxes.

 

Whatever you decide, I wish you well going forward and hope you are able to maintain the friendship.

[MassageDrew]

Are you too concerned about pleasung him that you're failing to enjoy it yourself? Maybe you should take more control of the sex and tell him how he can pleasure you. Give him some sort of direction to work with. I'm sure he's more than willing to oblige.

[+ nycman]

The truth shall set you free!

 

It may also take you in directions you never dreamed.

 

Sit him down and be honest with him.

[Chad Constantine]

Is it just me but it seems like the only thing you cared and liked about him was his body. You go into great detail about his body but when it comes to his personality you say he is a really nice guy and that speaks volumes because you basically reduced a complex person into something no better than an inanimate object. You should just tell him the truth that he only stimulates you physically and not mentally and emotionally. You already made your decision you just now have to follow through with it

[+ nycman]

You go into great detail about his body but when it comes to his personality you say he is a really nice guy and that speaks volumes because you basically reduced a complex person into something no better than an inanimate object.

 

Yeah, nobody likes beautiful "nice" guys.

 

Tell him to call me. I'll teach him to treat you like a cum rag.

Then we'll all sit back and laugh. as you come begging for more

of this beautiful asshole's dick....

 

I'm being silly....but you all KNOW it's true.

[Mydavid]

This let me think of one of my friends. We have met each other for a very long time. We are very good friends. He cannot get hard now and cannot take pills either. I lost interest in having sex with him, but he still has a strong desire to me. I don't enjoy the moment of having sex with him, though I enjoy the time we do other things together. I don't know what I should do since I don't want to hurt him at all.

[LADoug1]

Communicating how he can better satisfy you sexually might be a good interim step.

[+ Eric Hassan]

Be honest and take 100% ownership. Don't blame him or criticize him. Avoid the temptation to over-explain or make things seem "less bad."

 

You might try something like "We've been hanging out for a year now and I really like you. I'm finding the sex isn't something I want anymore and I'm hoping that we can transition to being friends." Of course, you might want to tailor this to the situation and your dynamics. Just be simple, direct, admit how YOU feel without adding in any criticisms about him.

 

OR,

 

[+ HornyRetiree]

This let me think of one of my friends. We have met each other for a very long time. We are very good friends. He cannot get hard now and cannot take pills either. I lost interest in having sex with him, but he still has a strong desire to me. I don't enjoy the moment of having sex with him, though I enjoy the time we do other things together. I don't know what I should do since I don't want to hurt him at all.

 

Keep "Gifting" that time with him ! A Gift from you as age/circumstances change his penis function - He is obviously more than his penis to you and still enjoys touch and connection and I assume getting you off. IF he is a VERY GOOD friend -- you accept changing circumstances.

[rvwnsd]

@Cannon, you mentioned you don't get nearly the same level of pleasure as he does. Do you get that same level of pleasure with other guys? If you do, then have an honest conversation with him about how you feel. If there's something he can do to make the experience more pleasurable for you, perhaps he can do so. If the issue is chemistry, well, sounds like the sexual part of the relationship needs to go.

[Cannon]

You have stated that you are "very attracted to him, love his body, and he's a really nice guy," and that after you were distancing yourself from the relationship, he lured you back into it by offering exclusivity and you went for it. Please understand that I have sympathy for your distress, but I'm thinking that it may be beneficial for you to take a look within yourself to try to understand why your libido is not responding to someone who checks so many of your boxes.

 

Whatever you decide, I wish you well going forward and hope you are able to maintain the friendship.

To be more explicit...umm,...sexually its frustrating. I get 4 strokes in...then he needs a break, another 4 strokes in he needs a break....another 4 strokes in...he needs a break....he's not great at taking my dick no matter the osition. he likes me to be dominant...which i enjoy sometimes but not all the time...he is actually new new to being submissive, and really enjoys that with me for some reason

@Cannon, you mentioned you don't get nearly the same level of pleasure as he does. Do you get that same level of pleasure with other guys? If you do, then have an honest conversation with him about how you feel. If there's something he can do to make the experience more pleasurable for you, perhaps he can do so. If the issue is chemistry, well, sounds like the sexual part of the relationship needs to go.

 

thank u

[Cannon]

Is it just me but it seems like the only thing you cared and liked about him was his body. You go into great detail about his body but when it comes to his personality you say he is a really nice guy and that speaks volumes because you basically reduced a complex person into something no better than an inanimate object. You should just tell him the truth that he only stimulates you physically and not mentally and emotionally. You already made your decision you just now have to follow through with it

 

No no no, the reason I went into detail about his body is because I was just basically trying to convey that it's crazy how he's got this amazing body.... but doesn't seem to know what to do with it

But I love nice guys and I detest jerks. In any event I don't see myself in a relationship with him and I'm not enjoying the sex so I just don't see the point in continuing to sex but I would like to hopefully salvage the friendship

[Cannon]

@Cannon, you mentioned you don't get nearly the same level of pleasure as he does. Do you get that same level of pleasure with other guys? If you do, then have an honest conversation with him about how you feel. If there's something he can do to make the experience more pleasurable for you, perhaps he can do so. If the issue is chemistry, well, sounds like the sexual part of the relationship needs to go.

Yes

[rvwnsd]

Break it off with him as soon as possible, as in TODAY. Lingering only makes it worse for the both of you. Have him read what you typed, as all of the advice that follows can be therapeutic for him. The truth hurts.

I don't advise reading the commentary to him, as it probably will do absolutely no good and will make you look like an asshole.

 

Yes I have had much more pleasure from other guys. MUCH!!!! I'm versatile. But I've been topping him. He sucks dick well, he's not great at getting fucked though. I don't know if he's a good top...I can only finger him for so long though

So, here's the question: would you be able to enjoy sex with him if he did something different? Is the issue that he does not like getting fucked or has a hard time taking a dick up his ass? The first might be changeable, but the second sounds like it won't change. A frank talk about what isn't working for you might be in order but it might not.

[big-n-tall]

So my question is... you like the guy... think he's hot... but the sex is lacking... have you talked to him about it? Does he even know how you feel? You see, he may think you are happy with the sexual situation (because he seems happy with the situation). Most people can't read minds. Lol! If you're not confident enough to tell him directly, then how about suggesting things during intimate play until you get him to do more stuff you like.

 

Honestly, I'm going to go against the grain here, if you find all these physical positives about the guy, but aren't making an effort to alter something you can change (i.e. what you do sexually)... then I have no sympathy for your situation.

 

Man up and either let the, admittedly great, guy find someone more attuned to him or try to fix something you can fix.

[Rudynate]

I had a similar situation many years ago. He was just an amazing physical specimen: blue eyes, red hair, nice looking, powerful athletic build, smart, accomplished, but he liked to lay there on his stomach, completely passive, while I fucked him. Initially, of course, I really liked this, but it quickly became boring. I was pretty young at the time and the idea of trying to improve the situation didn't occur to me. I just thought, "Oh well, he's lousy sex."

[Cannon]

I had a similar situation many years ago. He was just an amazing physical specimen: blue eyes, red hair, nice looking, powerful athletic build, smart, accomplished, but he liked to lay there on his stomach, completely passive, while I fucked him. Initially, of course, I really liked this, but it quickly became boring. I was pretty young at the time and the idea of trying to improve the situation didn't occur to me. I just thought, "Oh well, he's lousy sex."

 

Yes!!! U understand what I'm saying!!!

[gallahadesquire]

Have you told him what you like? I was whole hog ready to rim someone who told me, "No, please, just keep doing what you're doing. It's what I like best!"

 

SCORE!

 

Especially if he pushes so many of your buttons. Are you a closet sapiophile? Does his brain do nothing for you?

[+ purplekow]

I would suggest there is a good chance you are not gay. There is a guy with a hot body who enjoys sex with you and with whom you enjoy spending time, hmmm not gay. More seriously, if you are in an exclusive relationship, talk to him about opening it up again. Bring in a third or tell him you are going to see other men and it is fine with you if he does too. Sex is a part of an ongoing relationship and the younger you are the more important part of the relationship it is. As you age, sex with a partner becomes familiar and comfortable and less frequent. What becomes important are things such as consideration, forgiveness, kindness. So if this man does not have those things now, and the sex is not working, it is time to jump ship and swim for shore. This is a voyage to nowhere.