Overnights versus sleepovers...is it worth saving a little hotel money?

[Mocha]

Theres something I've been subtly falling into, and I'm starting to realize I need to either stop doing it or draw the lines a little clearer because I'm starting to feel taken advantage of.

 

The sleepover: when you meet a client, usually late at night and generally in a different area. They may book a 1 or 2 hour session, but offer a place to sleep for the night either in their bed or a separate room. So, since it's not an all night sexathon...collecting an entire overnight doesn't always seem reasonable.

 

Now, the gesture is nice and yeah it does save off cost of hotel where I get in at a late hour. But, a lot of these sleepovers end up inconveniencing me more: like today, I had to wake up at 7:30 eastern time, which was actually 6:30 am central time (time changes in the same state) because the client had to go to work by 8. So, I think only had about 4 hours of sleep last night.

 

And then, oftentimes if a client has to wake up that early, even if I plan to get a hotel the same day...I'm left waiting around all morning before I can check in. Waste of time. And at that time of day, I don't feel like exploring the town or seeing museums. I end up groggy and off kilter. I was considering staying an extra day in the town the client lives, but I just drove the 2.5 hours home instead of waiting around all morning.

 

The other thing, some clients seem to think you don't deserve extra money because they "saved us money". And I'm like no...don't make me feel like some bum who needs a place to crash. I hate that. They make me feel like I can't ask for any extra money, just because they let me stay over. And 99% of the time, I have to wake up at the ass crack of dawn, because they have to go to work the next day but don't mention it until you're already there.

 

So I'm just thinking it's time to just cut that out. Some of them aren't even paying half my overnight fee, even though I'm willing to do partial overnight type of visits. I don't mind if they're actually offering a place to stay or the client will be treating me out over the course of a day or 2. But the whole come in and leave the next morning stuff is draining to me.

[+ saminseattle]

And 99% of the time, I have to wake up at the ass crack of dawn, because they have to go to work the next day but don't mention it until you're already there.

 

Perhaps in the future you should ask about this ahead of time, and if you don’t like the proposed arrangement, don’t agree to it. Sometimes these things sound good in theory, but don’t work out well in practice. I guess it's a "live and learn" situation. In general, while I’m not an escort, if I were, I think I would be hesitant to agree to this sort of thing unless I already knew the client, knew the details of how it would work with my other plans, and was confident it would be a win-win for both parties.

[pubic_assistance]

Perhaps in the future you should ask about this ahead of time, and if you don’t like the proposed arrangement, don’t agree to it. Sometimes these things sound good in theory, but don’t work out well in practice. I guess it's a "live and learn" situation. In general, while I’m not an escort, if I were, I think I would be hesitant to agree to this sort of thing unless I already knew the client, knew the details of how it would work with my other plans, and was confident it would be a win-win for both parties.

I agree....you need to be more proactive about the specifics of an overnight. For example, I have hit it off with escorts who stayed overnight simply because they wanted to. Other times I have paid for an overnight because I am out of town on business and it can get lonely in a hotel room..so a little cuddle time is nice. There have been a few occasions where I was so intensely into someone that I paid them to fuck for hours, napping in between sessions..so yeah. I am SURE he was damn tired by the next morning. But he was also very well paid...so it's up to him how to arrange his schedule around a late night out. Although I do tend to buy somebody breakfast the next morning and not toss them out the door at the crack of dawn...but I'm a nice guy.

[Mocha]

Perhaps in the future you should ask about this ahead of time, and if you don’t like the proposed arrangement, don’t agree to it. Sometimes these things sound good in theory, but don’t work out well in practice. I guess it's a "live and learn" situation. In general, while I’m not an escort, if I were, I think I would be hesitant to agree to this sort of thing unless I already knew the client, knew the details of how it would work with my other plans, and was confident it would be a win-win for both parties.

 

I did ask him this ahead of time...but not quite before i got there. I asked him if he needed to be up ata certain time.

 

I figured how I could have addressed it better. I'm kinda irked at myself too. But i asked him all the questions. He was leaving out certain things and kept skirting around the money to talk about other stuff...which he seemed to have LOTS to talk about. But, when discussing rate, they will do something like only get the amount you originally state, and not have enough for overtime.

 

Atleast i can say the session was enjoyable. And it's not that it wasn't generous amount. Hell, most of these guys getting it in for zeroes. But, it was more involved than he bargained for. But that's the thing, sometimes the sessions are so enjoyable that the business part isn't emphasized enough.

 

And @pubic_assistance, no I didn't even get breakfast lol. Some of these guys feel since they paid, that they don't have to. But it just further reinforces why I want to start putting things in writing...no prices, but just a general expectation.

 

The difference is, it's usually always the A4A guys that I tend to run into this with. I'm going to have to start directly referring them to my site and make sure they FULLY understand. It's not optional. I'm not just going to take whatever they want to give me, hidden in some tightly rolled wad.

[marylander1940]

Theres something I've been subtly falling into, and I'm starting to realize I need to either stop doing it or draw the lines a little clearer because I'm starting to feel taken advantage of.

 

The sleepover: when you meet a client, usually late at night and generally in a different area. They may book a 1 or 2 hour session, but offer a place to sleep for the night either in their bed or a separate room. So, since it's not an all night sexathon...collecting an entire overnight doesn't always seem reasonable.

 

Now, the gesture is nice and yeah it does save off cost of hotel where I get in at a late hour. But, a lot of these sleepovers end up inconveniencing me more: like today, I had to wake up at 7:30 eastern time, which was actually 6:30 am central time (time changes in the same state) because the client had to go to work by 8. So, I think only had about 4 hours of sleep last night.

 

And then, oftentimes if a client has to wake up that early, even if I plan to get a hotel the same day...I'm left waiting around all morning before I can check in. Waste of time. And at that time of day, I don't feel like exploring the town or seeing museums. I end up groggy and off kilter. I was considering staying an extra day in the town the client lives, but I just drove the 2.5 hours home instead of waiting around all morning.

 

The other thing, some clients seem to think you don't deserve extra money because they "saved us money". And I'm like no...don't make me feel like some bum who needs a place to crash. I hate that. They make me feel like I can't ask for any extra money, just because they let me stay over. And 99% of the time, I have to wake up at the ass crack of dawn, because they have to go to work the next day but don't mention it until you're already there.

 

So I'm just thinking it's time to just cut that out. Some of them aren't even paying half my overnight fee, even though I'm willing to do partial overnight type of visits. I don't mind if they're actually offering a place to stay or the client will be treating me out over the course of a day or 2. But the whole come in and leave the next morning stuff is draining to me.

 

Be grateful that day you had a client for 1 or 2 hours that day, get your money and make up your mind about what you want to do next: sleep over, go home late at night, or get a $50 motel nearby in that area, sleep all you want and maybe get another client that night or morning.

[marylander1940]

Perhaps in the future you should ask about this ahead of time, and if you don’t like the proposed arrangement, don’t agree to it. Sometimes these things sound good in theory, but don’t work out well in practice. I guess it's a "live and learn" situation. In general, while I’m not an escort, if I were, I think I would be hesitant to agree to this sort of thing unless I already knew the client, knew the details of how it would work with my other plans, and was confident it would be a win-win for both parties.

 

Outcalls to new clients close or a few hours away happen all the time to escorts and is up to them to decide if they want to do it or not, and the conditions of the arrangement.

 

Btw it's a live and learn situation, I agree with you on that.

[pubic_assistance]

 

And @pubic_assistance, no I didn't even get breakfast lol. Some of these guys feel since they paid, that they don't have to.

That is something I always find offensive in the escort industry: Client's who seem to forget you are dealing with a HUMAN BEING with FEELINGS ! How can you spend the night with someone at not offer to buy them breakfast ? Does no one have any class anymore ?

[+ glennnn]

That is something I always find offensive in the escort industry: Client's who seem to forget you are dealing with a HUMAN BEING with FEELINGS ! How can you spend the night with someone at not offer to buy them breakfast ? Does no one have any class anymore ?

 

 

I really think most of us still do, but not being an escort, I couldn't say. I know that I treasure my escorts and try to show it with a meal when timely, a great review, a nice tip, a follow up email and respect.

[+ purplekow]

That is something I always find offensive in the escort industry: Client's who seem to forget you are dealing with a HUMAN BEING with FEELINGS ! How can you spend the night with someone at not offer to buy them breakfast ? Does no one have any class anymore ?

 

I offer to make breakfast when an escort is staying over. However, if it were ever the case that the escort were staying only so as to avoid a drive home, with no other activity and he was staying in the guest room, it would be nice if he offered to pick up the breakfast bill. After all, he is no longer on the clock and it is a way to thank the host for permitting you to stay. It is likely that I would decline graciously but the offer would be appreciated. It is not just escorts who are human beings and they are not the only ones working for a living and deserving of respect.

 

When I stay at someone's home, I usually bring a gift, but failing that, I offer to buy breakfast or wash the breakfast dishes and possibly send a gift or note within the next few days. If you are being paid for an overnight, you are not there as a guest but as part of your employ, but if you are staying for your convenience, then you are a guest and ought to act as you would in any other guest situation.

[LADoug1]

I really think most of us still do, but not being an escort, I couldn't say. I know that I treasure my escorts and try to show it with a meal when timely, a great review, a nice tip, a follow up email and respect.

I would change that to "some of us do".

[ProfessorB]

That is something I always find offensive in the escort industry: Client's who seem to forget you are dealing with a HUMAN BEING with FEELINGS ! How can you spend the night with someone at not offer to buy them breakfast ? Does no one have any class anymore ?

 

This is quite true. Breakfast is part of waking up with someone.

[Mocha]

I offer to make breakfast when an escort is staying over. However, if it were ever the case that the escort were staying only so as to avoid a drive home, with no other activity and he was staying in the guest room, it would be nice if he offered to pick up the breakfast bill. After all, he is no longer on the clock and it is a way to thank the host for permitting you to stay. It is likely that I would decline graciously but the offer would be appreciated. It is not just escorts who are human beings and they are not the only ones working for a living and deserving of respect.

 

When I stay at someone's home, I usually bring a gift, but failing that, I offer to buy breakfast or wash the breakfast dishes and possibly send a gift or note within the next few days. If you are being paid for an overnight, you are not there as a guest but as part of your employ, but if you are staying for your convenience, then you are a guest and ought to act as you would in any other guest situation.

 

Hmmm...see that's where it gets slippery. Because then the tables turn and one goes from being an escort to a "guest" to a housekeeper to scum. In a matter of hours.

 

It's confusing because yes, there is convenience, but it only seems that way. The part that isn't taken into consideration is the hours of driving, the commute, sometimes traversing slow and ridiculous traffic roads (on more than 1 occasion, it has taken 3 hours to drive 50 miles on a stretch of highway).

 

The way I see it, if I drive 200, 300...maybe even 500 miles, it's going to end up getting late in the day. Getting a hotel and seeing a client for an outcall when you know you can't take on more than 1 seems counterproductive. Even for an incall. If they can host, why go through the trouble? And yeah, most times the clients place is more comfortable than a $50 hotel. But, that's not looking at the actual retail price. Yeah it may seem like the escort is just lounging around looking cute, but...If I drive 569 miles=8.5 hours/2 time zones, some down time is expected...on the clock.

 

Again, not to say every stay over feels like I'm being shorted. I've gladly stayed the night for a 1 hour's fee at some places. But, with a separate room, jacuzzi and meal. As long as I get ample sleep I'm fine. But, I'm starting to feel like waking me up to get out at dawn is worth $1,000 in itself. And lord don't let it be winter and cold outside. Worse than feeding gremlins after midnight.

[MscleLovr]

Maybe I'm missing something but I'm not sure about this being a "slippery" area, Mocha. You just have to be precise about what you're offering and about what is expected of you.

 

If I hired an escort and he asked to sleep over, I'd probably refuse if it was the first time I'd met him. If we had played before, I might well agree. I would never pay more than the agreed fee for his visit. And as the escort becomes an overnight guest, I'd expect him to express appreciation.

 

If it was a (non-working) guy I dated, and I felt comfortable with him and I knew that he lived a long way out in the suburbs, I'd ask if he wanted to sleep over. I know that sleeping over is usual in dating guys aged 20-something.

 

In both cases, I would ask the guy what time he wanted to be woken and I'd state when I expected to be awake. If I had to leave early, I'd be explicit that the guy would have to depart at the same time.

In both cases, tho I always enjoy being woken by being sucked off to completion, I'd have no expectations for the morning.

In both cases, I'd certainly offer the guy breakfast and an espresso before he left.

[pubic_assistance]

Hmmm...see that's where it gets slippery. Because then the tables turn and one goes from being an escort to a "guest" to a housekeeper to scum. In a matter of hours.

I agree. An escort is doing YOU a favor, not the other way around. I am always sure to treat any professional escort as the most important person in the room from the minute they cross my threshold to the moment they leave. I want them to walk away thinking: "WOW what a great guy. I hope he calls me again".

[MikeBiDude]

Hmmm...see that's where it gets slippery. Because then the tables turn and one goes from being an escort to a "guest" to a housekeeper to scum. In a matter of hours.

 

It's confusing because yes, there is convenience, but it only seems that way. The part that isn't taken into consideration is the hours of driving, the commute, sometimes traversing slow and ridiculous traffic roads (on more than 1 occasion, it has taken 3 hours to drive 50 miles on a stretch of highway).

 

The way I see it, if I drive 200, 300...maybe even 500 miles, it's going to end up getting late in the day. Getting a hotel and seeing a client for an outcall when you know you can't take on more than 1 seems counterproductive. Even for an incall. If they can host, why go through the trouble? And yeah, most times the clients place is more comfortable than a $50 hotel. But, that's not looking at the actual retail price. Yeah it may seem like the escort is just lounging around looking cute, but...If I drive 569 miles=8.5 hours/2 time zones, some down time is expected...on the clock.

 

Again, not to say every stay over feels like I'm being shorted. I've gladly stayed the night for a 1 hour's fee at some places. But, with a separate room, jacuzzi and meal. As long as I get ample sleep I'm fine. But, I'm starting to feel like waking me up to get out at dawn is worth $1,000 in itself. And lord don't let it be winter and cold outside. Worse than feeding gremlins after midnight.

Hmmm...see that's where it gets slippery. Because then the tables turn and one goes from being an escort to a "guest" to a housekeeper to scum. In a matter of hours.

And that's why an hourly (or preset time frame) visit is what it is, and an overnight is what it is.

 

You (and clients) are blurring the lines of your arrangement. So, yes it will get slippery. Personally if I hire for a couple hours I have my reasons and I want to move on when we are done "thank you good bye see you soon!".

[MiamiLooker]

I offer to make breakfast when an escort is staying over. However, if it were ever the case that the escort were staying only so as to avoid a drive home, with no other activity and he was staying in the guest room, it would be nice if he offered to pick up the breakfast bill. After all, he is no longer on the clock and it is a way to thank the host for permitting you to stay. It is likely that I would decline graciously but the offer would be appreciated. It is not just escorts who are human beings and they are not the only ones working for a living and deserving of respect.

 

When I stay at someone's home, I usually bring a gift, but failing that, I offer to buy breakfast or wash the breakfast dishes and possibly send a gift or note within the next few days. If you are being paid for an overnight, you are not there as a guest but as part of your employ, but if you are staying for your convenience, then you are a guest and ought to act as you would in any other guest situation.

 

Hmmmm….treating an escort as an adult rather than a needy child to be fawned over. Is that respectful? That’s certainly a novel concept on the forum. Can it be taken seriously, when you’ve probably never bought an escort a house or even a car?

[robberbaron4u]

I offer the use of a private bedroom for his use as, for me, the night is for sleep not play. And, yes, an "American" breakfast is inclusive in the offer. I do expect decent behavior from any overnight guest, Emily Post's 1922 edition of Etiquette being my handbook.

[rvwnsd]

...If I hired an escort and he asked to sleep over, I'd probably refuse if it was the first time I'd met him. If we had played before, I might well agree. I would never pay more than the agreed fee for his visit. And as the escort becomes an overnight guest, I'd expect him to express appreciation....

 

And that's why an hourly (or preset time frame) visit is what it is, and an overnight is what it is.

 

You (and clients) are blurring the lines of your arrangement. So, yes it will get slippery. Personally if I hire for a couple hours I have my reasons and I want to move on when we are done "thank you good bye see you soon!".

 

To be fair to Mocha, he said the client offered to let him stay the night.

 

...They may book a 1 or 2 hour session, but offer a place to sleep for the night either in their bed or a separate room....

 

If I offered an escort (or anyone else) a place to sleep because it was too late to drive I would explain in advance my morning schedule (e.g. up at 7:00, out the door by 8:00 or what not) and would offer him whatever I make myself for breakfast. It only seems fair, as he will be on my schedule which could or could not mesh with his own.

[Mocha]

Obviously you guys are thoughtful and considerate. So that's always nice. And yes, again...breakfast.

 

Now...I will say I've done sleepovers where the guys cooked breakfast the next day, that's always nice. Even if it's a bit early, the breakfast part can help me come into the day. But, when I have to bust out to McDonald's or Burger King, I'm a little grouchy.

 

I think in the situation I originally mentioned, being that it was so close to home but yet far enough to where I couldn't immediately turn around and go home...that's where it felt a bit more inconvenient.

 

But...let me clear, this shouldn't stop anyone from offering a place to stay without paying the overnight fee. There's nothing worse than paying a full nights hotel fee, for just a few hours. I have arrived at STUPID hours of the morning, only to be stuck still paying for a full night hotel. A couple of times I've arrived at midnight, 4 am and once even 7 am...to a hotel. So, if a client offers their place, I'm grateful...

 

The issue is, finding out when it's appropriate to do it. I don't want to be cutting myself short of overnights everytime under the guise of a sleepover. But I'm also aware $900 for 1 hour of fun and then sleep before having to go to work early the next morning doesn't always fit the bill either.

[rvwnsd]

...So, if a client offers their place, I'm grateful...

 

The issue is, finding out when it's appropriate to do it. I don't want to be cutting myself short of overnights everytime under the guise of a sleepover. But I'm also aware $900 for 1 hour of fun and then sleep before having to go to work early the next morning doesn't always fit the bill either.

 

Very well-said.

[LADoug1]

Theres something I've been subtly falling into, and I'm starting to realize I need to either stop doing it or draw the lines a little clearer because I'm starting to feel taken advantage of.

 

The sleepover: when you meet a client, usually late at night and generally in a different area. They may book a 1 or 2 hour session, but offer a place to sleep for the night either in their bed or a separate room. So, since it's not an all night sexathon...collecting an entire overnight doesn't always seem reasonable.

 

Now, the gesture is nice and yeah it does save off cost of hotel where I get in at a late hour. But, a lot of these sleepovers end up inconveniencing me more: like today, I had to wake up at 7:30 eastern time, which was actually 6:30 am central time (time changes in the same state) because the client had to go to work by 8. So, I think only had about 4 hours of sleep last night.

 

And then, oftentimes if a client has to wake up that early, even if I plan to get a hotel the same day...I'm left waiting around all morning before I can check in. Waste of time. And at that time of day, I don't feel like exploring the town or seeing museums. I end up groggy and off kilter. I was considering staying an extra day in the town the client lives, but I just drove the 2.5 hours home instead of waiting around all morning.

 

The other thing, some clients seem to think you don't deserve extra money because they "saved us money". And I'm like no...don't make me feel like some bum who needs a place to crash. I hate that. They make me feel like I can't ask for any extra money, just because they let me stay over. And 99% of the time, I have to wake up at the ass crack of dawn, because they have to go to work the next day but don't mention it until you're already there.

 

So I'm just thinking it's time to just cut that out. Some of them aren't even paying half my overnight fee, even though I'm willing to do partial overnight type of visits. I don't mind if they're actually offering a place to stay or the client will be treating me out over the course of a day or 2. But the whole come in and leave the next morning stuff is draining to me.

Not to seem harsh but why are your posts usually about what's best for you rather than what's best for clients?

[+ DickyF]

When you say sleepover, are you staying in the same bed? If you're staying in a separate bedroom as a favor from the client I'm not sure why that requires breakfast.

 

I had a regular who stopped over in DC on his way to NYC. After our session around 11 pm he was going to drive to NY. I suggested he stay over in my guest room instead which he accepted. I gave him some coffee in the morning but I eat breakfast at work so I was not going to make it for him. Bottom line if he were unhappy with staying over than he should have hit the road. That's just being an adult.

[MiamiLooker]

http://img.picturequotes.com/2/497/496274/a-complaining-tongue-reveals-an-ungrateful-heart-quote-1.jpg