A Question for the Fathers. Oh, the Sons, too!

[BasketBaller]

In the thread about what we'll all be doing in 10 or 20 years, several guys mentioned hiring top escorts, or their sons, or both.

 

Now this is a slightly delicate question, and I don't want to be misunderstood. I've mostly hired guys about my age, although I had several sessions with a younger escort early on. I prefer guys close in age to me still, but I can't deny that a hot young man is something special. BUT. I have a 19 year-old, son, and 17 year-old twins. They have friends I've known since they were all little. I feel protective of all of them.

 

Which makes my question potentially creepy, even if I don't intend it that way. As my boys get older, how do I deal with finding their friends and classmates attractive? I would never act on it but i don't really feel comfortable even thinking it. I suppose this is no different than a straight father of daughters finding their friends attractive.

 

This was inspired by an experience I had last week at a baseball game here in DC. There was a guy sitting near us I found hot. I wasn't ogling him, I just thought he was masculine and handsome, and yes, sexy. I came back from getting food to find my older boy talking to him-- they go to the same college. This kid was a year older, but still, I had been admiring one of my son's schoolmates.

 

I realize that that young escort I hired years ago was hardly any older then than my son is now. Is it creepy to be attracted to a guy whose father I could be?

 

Just to repeat, I am NOT planning on hitting on my sons' buddies! Just wondering about how to feel about admiring them and others close in age.

[BabyBoomer]

Look but don't touch.

 

~ Boomer ~

[BasketBaller]

Look but don't touch.

 

~ Boomer ~

 

Absolutely don't touch.� Unsure if it's okay to look!�

[+ José Soplanucas]

That is one of the reasons masturbatory fantasies and role playing exist for.

[MikeyGMin]

Absolutely don't touch.� Unsure if it's okay to look!�

 

You're still youngish, and maybe you'll be one of the rare guys who continues to be attracted to men their own age, but you probably better get used to being attracted to men your grown sons' age. If you are lucky enough to live to a ripe age and stay sexually active...it won't be long before they are younger than your sons. We're talking adult sons here of course. I don't even think it's creepy. Just a fact of life.

 

Edit: BTW, I meant that in a light-hearted way. Not as a lecture.

[+ nycman]

Watch "American Beauty"......

 

Then hire a young stud and get it out of your system!

[LivingnLA]

My oldest is in college and our middle is just now in high school. I've been surrounded by attractive sensitive and built young men and women for quite a few years now. I do find myself looking very discreetly sometimes--especially at the beach--but it still weirds me out sometimes when I stop and think about it. It's one of the very few things in my life I don't deeply process. I understand the biological drivers, the psychological issues, etc. For me, what's sometimes very challenging is how physical these younsters can be. Hugs instead of handshakes make it awkward for me sometimes.

 

Have you ever been caught looking? Or ever had one of them crush on you? Talk about awkward.

[BasketBaller]

M

 

Have you ever been caught looking? Or ever had one of them crush on you? Talk about awkward.

 

No, I don't think anyone's ever caught me looking. And if anyone has had a crush on me he's kept it to himself!

[LivingnLA]

No, I don't think anyone's ever caught me looking. And if anyone has had a crush on me he's kept it to himself!

 

Very lucky. I was caught once looking at one of daughter's best friend's older sister at a pool party. She was visiting from college, my wife asked me if I missed college--with a knowing look--and I said no because my college crush was with me.

[BasketBaller]

I had a bit of an excuse when I coached my sons' team. I HAD to "look" at the guys during practice and games! But I religiously stayed out of the locker room. I just wasn't going to be that guy.

[Kippy]

Ask your question from a str8 POV-- how many fathers look twice at their daughters' female friends? Previous advice is good-- look, never touch but also don't dwell.

[+ glennnn]

I purposely only hire escorts well beyond my son's age (32) to avoid this problem. On the other hand I can look with admiration at a 30 year old stranger and not be creeped out. "look, y if you must, but don't touch any man your kid's age" is my mantra.

[Kippy]

I suppose if it's a question of hiring a comparison to the produce section of the grocery store is apt-- one will usually buy the freshest looking product and pass on that past the expiration/freshness date.

 

Peace,

 

Kipp

[instudiocity]

Chances are someone your children know is gay.

Chances are one of those young gay people could be into daddys.

Chances are you will see said young man in near your gay haunts.

 

Now what you gonna do?

[+ purplekow]

Your children are always your children. Other people's children become adults. What happens between two consenting adults is up to them. So, look guilt free. If the situation arises and both parties are willing, touch guilt free.

I believe you have not come out to your children at this point, so you mentioning your attraction is not an option. Once your children are aware, I would keep my attraction to their friends to myself, unless it progresses to a point that it absolutely has to be addressed.

There should not be any guilt on your part, but drama, well that will happen if prudence is not used.

[TruHart1]

I have to admit that I have seen a few ads with escorts who reminded me in some way of my adult nephews (I have three!) and although I may find them attractive, I won't let myself move forward with those escorts because I believe I would not be able to get past the resemblance! Other young men of my nephews' age (between 22 and 29) with no resemblance, don't make me feel the same in any way and I've certainly hired a few. Still, I tend to find men between 35 and 55 the most attractive for their maturity in bed and outside of the bedroom, too!

 

TruHart1

[whipped guy]

A number of years ago a friend told me about a youngish escort who moved to NYC from Germany. He said that he was exactly my type as being German he was into the S&M scene. When I checked him out the guy had an uncanny resemblance to my godchild... So much so that I knew that I could never in a million years go there.

 

As an aside the last that I heard about the guy he had moved back to Germany and for some reason experienced one of those infamous "erections lasting more than four hours". Possibly from an overdose/overreaction to viagra or something similar?!?! He ended up in the ER with his father and as I recall something had to be injected into his penis to resolve the problem. After having such an exierience he retired from the business.

[+ Truereview]

Ah, the old but persistent topic of attraction! Biology, Nature, & Chemistry are a trio of tricky beasts.

 

@BasketBaller, try this for awkward: I was 21, fell for one of my clients in his mid-40s with kids my own age, and his wife understood her husband's (my client's) disposition - that he was not straight, nor bi, but that he was, indeed, gay. His wife was very open-minded --considering the circumstances, but his children made it really uncomfortable for both of us. Neither he nor I were good at secrets. Our brief affair lasted just a couple of years bc he died from a heart condition (I still think he died from a broken heart). I once asked him why he had chosen to pursue a man who was just as young as his own adult children. He said something that has stayed with me: Attraction, my dear True, is something you can try control. Love is an untamable beast to which you just need to surrender. When I went to his funeral, his wife made a point of coming up to me, embracing me, and saying something to the effect that she was so thankful someone had made him happy. Both good & sad to hear. My heart is still bruised from that loss.

 

Despite the impact this has had on me, I still cherish my time with this man. Moral of the story? Take away away whatever you want from it. Here is what I took away: Don't beat myself up too hard for Attraction, instead save my energy for when it counts cuz Love may come knocking - and she is the trickiest beast of all.

[Reluctant Daddy]

I've always been attracted to men in their early 20's. It's their beauty, maybe even a yearning to be in touch with my long lost youth. Now that I'm more than twice their age, some people find it a bit creepy.

[mattr]

I find the Daddy/Son roleplay thing a bit creepy..... not because of the age difference but because of the incestuous aspect to it. Age differences are not a big deal to me although I can't see myself being attracted to someone younger than late 20's. I like at least a bit of maturity in my companions.

[Reluctant Daddy]

I find the Daddy/Son roleplay thing a bit creepy

 

I never viewed it as a daddy/son thing or as roleplay......crap, does that make it even creepier?

[+ Just Sayin]

I usually prefer to hire guys who are middle-aged, but there aren't that many of those guys around; most are in their late 20s or 30s; whenever I hire someone in my son's age range, I do note the comparison to his age; and over the years, there have been quite a few of his friends that I've found attractive; I think I would just go and enjoy the natural attraction! life is indeed too short!

[BasketBaller]

I believe you have not come out to your children at this point, so you mentioning your attraction is not an option. Once your children are aware, I would keep my attraction to their friends to myself, unless it progresses to a point that it absolutely has to be addressed.

 

Yes, while I think they suspect, I'm not out to my kids. I intend to have the talk with them once they're all in college. And will definitely keep any attraction to their friends to myself!

[beachboy]

Hey fella. If a guy's attractive you cant help but look- that's nature. Heck my manager @ work is young, fit & hot & he could have me over his desk any time he likes! In reality it's not going to happen so I hire a fit young escort to do the deed instead. When I'm with him I'm not thinking about anyone else, just completely immersed in him & what's going down. At work I'm friendly but not overly friendly but my thoughts? XXX rated!!

[beachboy]

Ah, the old but persistent topic of attraction! Biology, Nature, & Chemistry are a trio of tricky beasts.

 

@BasketBaller, try this for awkward: I was 21, fell for one of my clients in his mid-40s with kids my own age, and his wife understood her husband's (my client's) disposition - that he was not straight, nor bi, but that he was, indeed, gay. His wife was very open-minded --considering the circumstances, but his children made it really uncomfortable for both of us. Neither he nor I were good at secrets. Our brief affair lasted just a couple of years bc he died from a heart condition (I still think he died from a broken heart). I once asked him why he had chosen to pursue a man who was just as young as his own adult children. He said something that has stayed with me: Attraction, my dear True, is something you can try control. Love is an untamable beast to which you just need to surrender. When I went to his funeral, his wife made a point of coming up to me, embracing me, and saying something to the effect that she was so thankful someone had made him happy. Both good & sad to hear. My heart is still bruised from that loss.

 

Despite the impact this has had on me, I still cherish my time with this man. Moral of the story? Take away away whatever you want from it. Here is what I took away: Don't beat myself up too hard for Attraction, instead save my energy for when it counts cuz Love may come knocking - and she is the trickiest beast of all.

Hey True. So sorry for your loss fella. I'm sure a lovely guy like you will love again when the time is right. Hugs