asking the escort if they are okay with your race.

[Rudynate]

Yet another occasion where we think alike. I always give a description of myself, including a mention that I am 6'4", as some guys are either uncomfortable with being significantly shorter .

 

That's too bad. Standing next to a man whose taller than me is one best feelings there is.

[rvwnsd]

That's too bad. Standing next to a man whose taller than me is one best feelings there is.

Interestingly, guys who are 5'11 and under, in my experience, do not have an issue. It is guys who are 6'0" to 6'2" who seem to find it a problem.

[Rudynate]

Interestingly, guys who are 5'11 and under, in my experience, do not have an issue. It is guys who are 6'0" to 6'2" who seem to find it a problem.

 

 

That is interesting. At 5'10", I confess to being a tall men's groupie. But I also love guys shorter than me with fireplug builds.

[pubic_assistance]

I think simply providing your stats. Age/build/race is enough. "Asking if" is allowing yourself to suffer the effect of racism over and over. YOU are a human being requesting time from a person who is supposed to be skilled in CUSTOMER SERVICE. You shouldn't just assume it's alright to be prejudiced. State your stats and fact and ask if they have time for you. If the answer is no, you can walk away assuming they are busy rather than humiliating yourself over and over being reminded that some people in this world are still assholes.

[sincitymix]

Actually all of the responses are racist in the sense that they're based on stereotypes. Descendants of Africans live in England too. Has no one ever heard of South Africa and other English colonies, Jamaica or Bermuda and the Caribbean sugar plantations that underpinned British wealth? And "I was not expecting a black person, you sounded really nice over the phone is straight up racist in equating "nice" with "white."

that's the funny thing about phones. it is so hard to judge what race someone is. Last job, coworker was from the south, so she had a heavy southern accent. the guy she was talking with kept asking what race she was, cause she sounded black.. and he didn't want to talk to no darkies (his word). He finally asked to be transferred to someone else. She transferred him, the woman next to her got the transfer. The guy had no objections to the new lady he was speaking with, even thanked her for her service at the end of the call.

Can you guess what race/races each of the 2 women were?

[sincitymix]

Re: those comments, any reasonably traveled person would not Actually believe those things. Growing up in Florida, kids would tease other kids who Were transplants from California...saying they talked "white" or proper. No, it's just people out west tend to speak without accents and dialects. It doesn't make them any less or more ethnic.

 

White or black, half the time i can't understand what anyone it's saying in Tennessee. But in salt lake city, i can understand just fine.

 

That said, i think escorts have some privilege to know who they're meeting.

 

Its also a Socio-Economic thing, or at least a perceived one. A nice lady who i see frequently at my work, told me her cousin got beat up by a group of black boys.. it was because he was talking educated and proper, and they did not like it at all, and considered him a tool of the white man and a sell out.

[MasterMaxRR]

Hi Lab12,

 

This is indeed a provocative question, but I applaud the cojones it takes to ask it.

 

Hoo boy. How to answer that without admitting racial bias is still prevalent in the country I love when so many of my ancestors died defending this very issue in the civil war. I have served my country to defend our freedoms and liberties, so I take ANY sort of oppression very seriously and quite to heart. Truth is, I can't. It saddens me deeply that some escorts or clients would judge based on race, but I also acknowledge that there are some that simply have no desire to do anything sexual with an ethnicity or culture that isn't their own preference. And as an escort and client, I have to respect those preferences whether it truly is just a sexual preference (fine) or based on out of date ideas that some races are superior to others (not fine). At the same time (and allow me to express this as a HYPOTHETICAL scenario), if I only liked black men in bed, that doesn't mean I disrespect anyone who is not black or am racist against white people. My biggest pet peeve is when people that express this type of sexual preference and get slammed for being racist, it makes absolutely no sense to me. It's like saying I disrespect women and am a misogynist just because I don't want to sleep with one. Ridiculous really.... I'll stop there since it is very easy to get me riled up on this subject. A wise man knows when he's made his point and realizes further arguing will only deepen the divisiveness on such a sensitive topic.

 

To answer your question more directly, in my experience, it is just easier emotionally to get the stats presented and out of the way, that way at least there won't be the lead up to a very disappointing and hurtful rejection based on nothing more than a person having a deep chocolate tan or having a snow white complexion. Better to be told no, I don't take black people as clients since if they're that offended by the concept of bi racial "mingling", chances are I or you want nothing to do with the racist bastards anyway. Sorry racist people, I just don't like you! I respect your beliefs, but I am G8DDA%$NED if I'm going let you think I agree with you after nearly getting killed defending those same freedoms that you take so lightly.

 

*Whew* That felt good. I normally don't take such a one sided view of things, but in this, I MUST. Sorry if it makes other people feel uncomfortable, but I can do no less. Bring the FLAMES!

 

Love and Light to ALL races, genders, religious affiliations, sexualities, and just plain weirdo's with nothing but peace and love in their hearts.

Hateful people of ALL races, genders, religious affiliations, sexualities and whatnot can kiss my ass.

Master Max

[JayNY]

Just be honest with the escort, most professional escorts have no issues with race.

[DonaldTramp]

http://www.realitytea.com/2013/07/29/real-housewives-of-new-jersey-recap-6/

[marylander1940]

I’m not calling Ryan Rose a racist, I want to make that clear. But if he is screening by race there’s a chance I wouldn’t be able to hire him back when I was interested in doing so. I honestly don’t know for sure that that would be the case. I don’t know what race he’s screening against. It could be black guys, Asian guys, or Middle Eastern guys.

 

Now, where does preferences end and racism being is something I don’t think everyone is going to agree on.

 

Sometimes when these boys ask for ethnicity they want to picture whom they are going to meet!

 

I worry I’m going to take this thread drastically off topic. But, that’s kind of what my issue with racial preferences is. It’s basically saying that everyone of a certain race looks the same. I can say I’m a white guy in my 30s. That describes both Chris Hemsworth and Josh Gad.

 

Gentlemen, I'm using your posts to bump this other thread.

 

Now yinz (and others) can keep talking about this important subject.

 

A frequent poster once said with pride: "I will never date, nor have sex with men of color".

 

Many ads have displayed on their text: No blacks, no Asians, no foreigners, etc. Personally I think that's a bad choice for a business yet it's a very personal/intimate business and some escorts might have save potential clients from a bad experience because they just couldn't show passion with them.

[MartyB]

Hi Lab12,

 

This is indeed a provocative question, but I applaud the cojones it takes to ask it.

 

Hoo boy. How to answer that without admitting racial bias is still prevalent in the country I love when so many of my ancestors died defending this very issue in the civil war. I have served my country to defend our freedoms and liberties, so I take ANY sort of oppression very seriously and quite to heart. Truth is, I can't. It saddens me deeply that some escorts or clients would judge based on race, but I also acknowledge that there are some that simply have no desire to do anything sexual with an ethnicity or culture that isn't their own preference. And as an escort and client, I have to respect those preferences whether it truly is just a sexual preference (fine) or based on out of date ideas that some races are superior to others (not fine). At the same time (and allow me to express this as a HYPOTHETICAL scenario), if I only liked black men in bed, that doesn't mean I disrespect anyone who is not black or am racist against white people. My biggest pet peeve is when people that express this type of sexual preference and get slammed for being racist, it makes absolutely no sense to me. It's like saying I disrespect women and am a misogynist just because I don't want to sleep with one. Ridiculous really.... I'll stop there since it is very easy to get me riled up on this subject. A wise man knows when he's made his point and realizes further arguing will only deepen the divisiveness on such a sensitive topic.

 

To answer your question more directly, in my experience, it is just easier emotionally to get the stats presented and out of the way, that way at least there won't be the lead up to a very disappointing and hurtful rejection based on nothing more than a person having a deep chocolate tan or having a snow white complexion. Better to be told no, I don't take black people as clients since if they're that offended by the concept of bi racial "mingling", chances are I or you want nothing to do with the racist bastards anyway. Sorry racist people, I just don't like you! I respect your beliefs, but I am G8DDA%$NED if I'm going let you think I agree with you after nearly getting killed defending those same freedoms that you take so lightly.

 

*Whew* That felt good. I normally don't take such a one sided view of things, but in this, I MUST. Sorry if it makes other people feel uncomfortable, but I can do no less. Bring the FLAMES!

 

Love and Light to ALL races, genders, religious affiliations, sexualities, and just plain weirdo's with nothing but peace and love in their hearts.

Hateful people of ALL races, genders, religious affiliations, sexualities and whatnot can kiss my ass.

Master Max

As a client if I'm looking at hiring a black/Hispanic/Asian/Mediterranean/Middle Eastern escort and I'm providing information about myself I do let them know I'm white besides other vital data. I don't see that as racist. Do I have a preference in an escort I'm trying to hire or have hired I choose the hottest sexiest man I can find no matter what race they are...This is about fun, sex and hot times.

[MichBoyBlake]

Forgive me but I looked at the initial question and didn't read through the 3 pages of responses since I just wanted to throw out a quick answer. Unless you're hiring someone in an area that's extremely racially divided and would make sense for clients to openly put it out on their ads that they don't have any qualms with race, I would definitely assume that a lack of mentioning race at all in their ad would signal that they have no qualms with race. I've actually never even thought about writing in my ad that I don't really care about a client's age or race or anything like that, because it's just not even something I think about in terms of potential clients. I can't speak for hiring, but if I ever hookup in my personal life, the idea of someone not being "attracted" to a certain race is a complete pass and turn-off for me, even though generally that isn't my race since I'm pretty white.

 

I'll try not to start this up but I bet if I went through this and read everyone's comments I'd find this same observation pretty quickly. How many times do you really see guys with a "racial preference" that excludes white guys, as opposed to any other race...? I think most of the time when people have a "racial preference" it's not necessarily outright, angry cross-burning racism.. but it's certainly a level of like, subconscious, ingrained, institutionalized racism. To be completely honest when I was a young teenager, I used to think I didn't find black or hispanic men attractive at all, but still well before my 20s I started to wonder why I felt that way and let myself push that boundary a bit more, and I very quickly learned it wasn't at all a lack of attraction towards certain races, it was just weird institutionalized racism in my subconscious that without challenging it a bit, would barely let me even look at black or hispanic men in a physically attractive/sexual way. Once I realized that I challenged myself A LOT and got over it rreaalll quick because I'm personally not at all ok with living my life like that, and now I don't have any issues with finding any races unattractive because honestly no one really does, it's seriously an entirely socialized and institutionalized thing that sticks into the back of your head until you acknowledge it and ask yourself if you're really comfortable with having that preference or not.

 

Also just as a quick end note I'll add in that I also have an aversion to, especially in porn, terms like 'BBC' or whatever. Like on the other end of having a 'racial preference', it's also totally ingrained, institutionalized racism to fetishize race. On some level, if a provider were to advertise themselves in a way that fetishized their own race, I could understand them doing it in the sense of the niche they want to fill and they image they want to project, but I still do think providers advertising themselves that way is kinda problematic... but it's part of a much, much larger problem and if someone advertises themselves as like

"the asian sensation straight from the silk road" or whatever I think that's horrible but also it's not really solely that provider's responsibility to outwardly try to fix the problem if playing to it is something they actually want to do.

 

TL; DR: I don't think people with racial preferences are necessarily full-blown racist, although some certainly are... they're just too comfortable with ignoring and not doing anything to challenge that 'preference' that they seem to have.

 

 

EDIT: IF ANY of the random tagline things that I put in quotes and came up with on-the-fly are like taglines that anyone on this forum or any escort uses... I'M SO SORRY I PROMISE I'm not coming for ANYONE I was just coming up with a couple of dumb things on-the-fly to make a point. This is like the South Park disclaimer only unlike South Park I really was not at all trying to imitate or throw any shade.

[MichBoyBlake]

As a client if I'm looking at hiring a black/Hispanic/Asian/Mediterranean/Middle Eastern escort and I'm providing information about myself I do let them know I'm white besides other vital data. I don't see that as racist. Do I have a preference in an escort I'm trying to hire or have hired I choose the hottest sexiest man I can find no matter what race they are...This is about fun, sex and hot times.

 

I think clients do get a little more acceptable wiggle room. It's pretty much impossible for racism or prejudice to be completely nullified, especially in the US.. but globally too. It's probably always going to be a part of the human condition. IMO the most important thing is to be able to look into your own head and not just recognize these things, but be fully conscious and aware of them and why your brain sees things the way it does.

 

That being said... this is a freelance or contracting or w/e type of thing. Unless it's some out-of-the-ordinary arrangement, it's really not quite the same as an employer interviewing an employee and then passing on their application simply because of their race. In fact it's quite the opposite really, given that the way this tends to work isn't providers applying to clients, but providers airing their 'resume' so-to-speak, and clients making most of the initial contacts. So I think clients are certainly allowed to have different things they want and preferences, even if they're a bit picky.. but clients also don't ever really need to explain these preferences. BUT on the same end providers are totally allowed to at a certain point be like, "we've been chatting for too long and I've been answering too many questions at this point to figure out if I'm EXACTLY what your imagination is looking for... at this point I need you to schedule something if you want to continue talking".

 

What I'm trying to get at isn't that clients have a responsibility to hire equal-opportunity necessarily, but I think in general ALL people should make an effort to be a bit insightful, look into their own thoughts, and be fully aware and conscious of where their preferences come from, and really having a personal understanding about that in a way that you can make conscious notes of it when confronted by it at all, rather than just have gut reactions.

 

As a last note though, I will admit that if a client were to contact me and for whatever reason feel the need to tell me that they 'aren't really attracted to X race' even when that's not at all relevant to our 1-on-1 conversation, which I've surprisingly had happen before, it wouldn't necessarily stop me from hiring that client, but it would significantly lower the amount I'm willing to chat and try to work with the client before confirming an actual booking. But that's largely just because on a personal level people with those sort of preferences bother me a fair amount, even if I'm fully aware that it's not conscious racism... if it weren't a client and someone in my personal life, I'd be much quicker to just cut off contact, but obviously part of this, at least for me, is being willing to work with clients a fair amount past what would normally make me just cut contact with someone.

 

EDIT: some spelling/grammar

[AJ Doyle]

I know this is a controversial topic, but how do you go about asking the rather unfortunate question 'are you okay with my race?'

 

Is it safe to assume that if an escort has not established any racial boundaries in their advertisement then it is unlikely that they will have a problem with a client's race?

 

I am asking because I have been in a very uncomfortable situation with regards to my race with an escort and I'd really love to avoid that unfortunate encounter.

I agree with others on disclosing that info upfront. Not to make the escort comfortable, but to avoid an awkward situation for yourself. Or to avoid wasting your valuable time. And no you can't assume just cause their ad doesn't say they have racial hangups that they don't have them. Now if they say they are open to all types then yeah it's a safer bet. But most guys that have racial hangups probably are NOT going to put it in their ad. In my case I once had a client not tell me his race. I got there and he had this nervous look on his face that could have been avoided by just telling me beforehand. The whole time he waited for me to arrive he had to wonder... Of course I was okay with his race and we had a great time together. But not everyone is open, so save yourself the trouble.

[Cannon]

 

TL; DR: I don't think people with racial preferences are necessarily full-blown racist, although some certainly are... they're just too comfortable with ignoring and not doing anything to challenge that 'preference'

 

Racism is racism. Period. There are no degrees or levels to it. The idea of there being levels to racism is as much a lie as the entire construct of race which was made up by racist whites to devalue & dehumanize Blacks, and other indegenous people.

Edited May 29, 2018 by Cannon

[Cannon]

I think you should disclose it not to make anyone feel more comfortable but just as a casual matter of fact. I think it's good to describe yourself just so that no one is caught off guard or surprised. There is no shame in your ethnicity or color regardless of what that might be. I flew to meet a client once, who sent me a picture of a guy that was of a totally different body type AND ethnicity/color. (I don't use the term race unless I'm emphasizing the only race there actually is, which is the human race) it was unnecessary for him to do this because I don't care what ethnicity or color you are.

When I got off the plane it was only awkward for a moment because of the "bait and switch", but I addressed it and then we had THEEE best time that I have EVERRRR had with ANYONE! If someone has an issue with your ethnicity, color, age, then that is their issue. Don't make it yours!

Edited May 27, 2018 by Cannon

[Rudynate]

I don't use the term race unless I'm emphasizing the only race there actually is, which is the human race

 

I'm so glad you said that. I also avoid, as much as possible, using the word "race." I was doing some deep thinking about rooting out unconscious racism and I realized that it is built into our culture by the very notion of "race" and the language that is used to talk about it. This lead to the realization that to get rid of racism, you have to get rid of "race". And the only way to do that is person by person. That's when I stopped using the word. To me it's as objectionable a word as any of the epithets that are used against people of color.

[MichBoyBlake]

If someone has an issue with your ethnicity, color, age, then that is their issue. Don't make it yours!

 

AMEN

[Kris Parkes]

A client deserves to have the great experience he or she desires. IF the client feels something might prevent realization of that great experience, he/she should not hesitate to make mention of it, no matter what it is (race, weight, height, pimples on butt, missing a limb, etc...), If the scort's reply is not satisfactory, then keep looking.