asking the escort if they are okay with your race.

[Lab12]

I know this is a controversial topic, but how do you go about asking the rather unfortunate question 'are you okay with my race?'

 

Is it safe to assume that if an escort has not established any racial boundaries in their advertisement then it is unlikely that they will have a problem with a client's race?

 

I am asking because I have been in a very uncomfortable situation with regards to my race with an escort and I'd really love to avoid that unfortunate encounter.

[+ Travis69]

I would mention it before the appointment just so you aren't worrying about it before the door opens. Many mention their race, weight, age to make sure there will not be a problem. It is sad that you have to do it but reality is many escorts or masseurs have certain hangups about race, weight or age.

[down_to_business]

Unfortunately, I have learned that ask an escort means you need to ask the specific escort that you intend to hire. It appears no one answer fits all situations for any question. We all have differing opinions on the topic, but unfortunately, you never really know how the escort is going to react to anything until the meeting.

 

Some would say disclose it, others will say the most professional escorts can perform professionally with any and all types. Sometimes you can pick up clues from their advertisements, reviews, or 411 on the message center. Other times some clues can be gotten from the reviewers themselves if they list any demographical information about themselves that match yours.

 

I guess if it is a great concern to you, and you absolutely do not want any "in person rejection", you can include your stats (including race) with any inquiry you send to the escort (like to verify rates or availability or ask a question) and take a positive response as an indication that things will be ok. Take a negative reply or NO REPLY as an indication that things are not.

[+ sync]

If the ad does not state something to the effect that all are welcome, I ask if he has any sensitivities regarding age, weight, or race.

[Kevin Slater]

Any good escort should be happy to see most any client, but if it makes you more comfortable, by all means, ask. I like the idea of mentioning your age, race and weight. Then we can have fun trying to decide which one he's an asshole about.

 

Kevin Slater

[+ Truereview]

I consider myself an attractive guy who hires. However, I also know that chemistry takes two for it to work. I always provide a succinct yet informative physical description of myself to my companion. I try to be as objective as I can about height, weight, etc. When it comes to race, I state that I'm Latino. I even tell the guy I'm uncut. I do all this for 2 reasons: I like for the escort to be as fully informed as possible so that he can opt in/out but also so that he can put himself in the frame of mind to make the best of our time together. The second reason is pride: by writing down or telling him my dimensions - height, weight, race, etc, I'm subsconsciously owning who I perceive myself to be physically. Not with the intent to box me in, but to be proud of my own packaging.

[bigvalboy]

I know this is a controversial topic, but how do you go about asking the rather unfortunate question 'are you okay with my race?'

 

Is it safe to assume that if an escort has not established any racial boundaries in their advertisement then it is unlikely that they will have a problem with a client's race?

 

I am asking because I have been in a very uncomfortable situation with regards to my race with an escort and I'd really love to avoid that unfortunate encounter.

 

If the ad does not state something to the effect that all are welcome, I ask if he has any sensitivities regarding age, weight, or race.

 

This...Racism is everywhere, it just is, that's a fact...SO

 

Always ask...NEVER assume, when it comes to issues of race, age or weight etc. Just because an ad doesn't mentions limitations or preferences, does not mean there aren't any. If it is an issue for you, it might be an issue for the escort, give the escort the opportunity to express limitations or preferences. I have in the past experienced numerous situations that became uncomfortable. All of which could have been avoided.

 

Now whether or not an escort should state limitations and or preferences in his ad upfront, is another whole argument.

 

p.s. I like your new avatar @Lab12

[+ Charlie]

Rather than mention your personal details, I would ask the escort if he has any limitations on his client's physical description, as sync suggested. It will at least make him think about his own instinctive reactions, and perhaps raise his consciousness, particularly if he is relatively young or new to escorting.

[Juan Vancouver]

Take care of yourself first. Make sure that you minimize the possibilities of you having an awful experience, with a hooker, no less. Put it all out on the first email or phone call. Phone call would work better because you can hear an unrehearsed honest response. If you perceive any hesitations, chose someone else.

 

Life is too short for you to put your vulnerable and beautiful self in the hands of someone who might not handle it with the love and care it deserves.

 

And don't ask the general "Do you have any restrictions when it comes to ____?".

 

Directly, honestly state your stats. If you were 350 pounds don't write you are heavy boned, if you are of ay race, mention it, don't say you are mixed or something like that. The more info he gets and the more chances he gets to react to that, the more certain you'll be he might be a nice guy and will take good care of you if you meet.

 

"But shouldn't all escort be able to deal with....?"

 

Honestly, who cares! You come first. Take care of yourself. Only put yourself in hands of loving people. Learn to weed out the ones that aren't.

 

A lot of clients might try to convince you to force the escorts to accept you, to not disclose, equating disclosure with some kind of acceptance of shame. The argument has been made before that letting the escort know in advance is abusive to yourself, as if not confessing the fear will make you love yourself better. Don't let yourself be dragged into this conversation.

 

You come first. Put yourself only in situations in which you will have better chances of being treated lovingly.

[+ José Soplanucas]

I consider myself an attractive guy who hires. However, I also know that chemistry takes two for it to work. I always provide a succinct yet informative physical description of myself to my companion. I try to be as objective as I can about height, weight, etc. When it comes to race, I state that I'm Latino. I even tell the guy I'm uncut. I do all this for 2 reasons: I like for the escort to be as fully informed as possible so that he can opt in/out but also so that he can put himself in the frame of mind to make the best of our time together. The second reason is pride: by writing down or telling him my dimensions - height, weight, race, etc, I'm subsconsciously owning who I perceive myself to be physically. Not with the intent to box me in, but to be proud of my own packaging.

 

I thoroughly agree. I also give a detailed description of myself. So far, out of my 2-3 years of hiring history in the USA, I've bounced only once and not because of my ethnicity but because of my weight.

[+ José Soplanucas]

Take care of yourself first. Make sure that you minimize the possibilities of you having an awful experience, with a hooker, no less. Put it all out on the first email or phone call. Phone call would work better because you can hear an unrehearsed honest response. If you perceive any hesitations, chose someone else.

 

Life is too short for you to put your vulnerable and beautiful self in the hands of someone who might not handle it with the love and care it deserves.

 

And don't ask the general "Do you have any restrictions when it comes to ____?".

 

Directly, honestly state your stats. If you were 350 pounds don't write you are heavy boned, if you are of ay race, mention it, don't say you are mixed or something like that. The more info he gets and the more chances he gets to react to that, the more certain you'll be he might be a nice guy and will take good care of you if you meet.

 

"But shouldn't all escort be able to deal with....?"

 

Honestly, who cares! You come first. Take care of yourself. Only put yourself in hands of loving people. Learn to weed out the ones that aren't.

 

A lot of clients might try to convince you to force the escorts to accept you, to not disclose, equating disclosure with some kind of acceptance of shame. The argument has been made before that letting the escort know in advance is abusive to yourself, as if not confessing the fear will make you love yourself better. Don't let yourself be dragged into this conversation.

 

You come first. Put yourself only in situations in which you will have better chances of being treated lovingly.

+1

[cany10011]

i always disclose everything upfront.(stats, location, likes/dislikes).. easier for the escort to decide whether they want to meet up and minimizes the back and forth emails/texts

[Lab12]

@bigvalboy thanks it is an ancient ceremonial gold mask of the Asante Kingdom, where my dad is originally from.

[Lab12]

I sent an escort a message on Whatsapp asking him if he was okay with the fact that I am black, yesterday in the morning, he's not responded as at this afternoon, so I am a bit weary about the prospects of hiring him.

 

I have been in the US for sometime now and I am still trying to wrap my head around the social dynamics of the American society. Apart from an incident with an escort, I have not had any overt display of racism or racial bias thus, the whole topic makes me deeply uncomfortable. My favorite days are when i hear statements like

1. Hey you talk really funny.

2. Yo, bruh why you talk like you is white.

3. I was not expecting a black person, you sounded really nice over the phone

4. Why are you talking like a British (Briton), you are black.

 

I usually giggle or laugh at statements like those, because i truly find them funny even though I recognise the inherent error in them

[marylander1940]

I know this is a controversial topic, but how do you go about asking the rather unfortunate question 'are you okay with my race?'

 

Is it safe to assume that if an escort has not established any racial boundaries in their advertisement then it is unlikely that they will have a problem with a client's race?

 

I am asking because I have been in a very uncomfortable situation with regards to my race with an escort and I'd really love to avoid that unfortunate encounter.

 

I do remember plenty of talk about an escort from Annapolis who said in his ad: "no blacks".

 

http://www.companyofmen.org/threads/411-on-dakota-annapolis-are-these-picts-real.108659/

 

It's always a good idea to describe yourself to the escort and basically what you would like to do: top or bottom, and warn them if you're overweight. I would never hire someone like Dakota who clearly said: no blacks in his ad. If I was in his place I'd rather be hired by black men in shape instead of by someone out of shape.

[down_to_business]

I do remember plenty of talk about an escort from Annapolis who said in his ad: "no blacks".

 

http://www.companyofmen.org/threads/411-on-dakota-annapolis-are-these-picts-real.108659/

 

It's always a good idea to describe yourself to the escort and basically what you would like to do: top or bottom, and warn them if you're overweight. I would never hire someone like Dakota who clearly said: no blacks in his ad. If I was in his place I'd rather be hired by black men in shape instead of by someone out of shape.

 

Yes Marylander... we know from your 10,000 posts how much you hate the fatties already.

 

"He was balding, had bad hygiene, showed up late, and spent the entire evening on his cellphone... but at least he wasn't overweight!"

[marylander1940]

Yes Marylander... we know from your 10,000 posts how much you hate the fatties already.

 

"He was balding, had bad hygiene, showed up late, and spent the entire evening on his cellphone... but at least he wasn't overweight!"

 

9.000.... and btw 60% of them (maybe more) are nothing but pictures in the gallery.

 

Btw I love your avatar, I think I never told you that before.

[LADoug1]

i always disclose everything upfront.(stats, location, likes/dislikes).. easier for the escort to decide whether they want to meet up and minimizes the back and forth emails/texts

I also (naively I suppose) a non-x pic.

[LADoug1]

Escorts get asked every question imaginable. Asking about race would be tame in my opinion.

[WolfRamNHard]

Take care of yourself first. Make sure that you minimize the possibilities of you having an awful experience, with a hooker, no less. Put it all out on the first email or phone call. Phone call would work better because you can hear an unrehearsed honest response. If you perceive any hesitations, chose someone else.

 

Life is too short for you to put your vulnerable and beautiful self in the hands of someone who might not handle it with the love and care it deserves.

 

And don't ask the general "Do you have any restrictions when it comes to ____?".

 

Directly, honestly state your stats. If you were 350 pounds don't write you are heavy boned, if you are of ay race, mention it, don't say you are mixed or something like that. The more info he gets and the more chances he gets to react to that, the more certain you'll be he might be a nice guy and will take good care of you if you meet.

 

"But shouldn't all escort be able to deal with....?"

 

Honestly, who cares! You come first. Take care of yourself. Only put yourself in hands of loving people. Learn to weed out the ones that aren't.

 

A lot of clients might try to convince you to force the escorts to accept you, to not disclose, equating disclosure with some kind of acceptance of shame. The argument has been made before that letting the escort know in advance is abusive to yourself, as if not confessing the fear will make you love yourself better. Don't let yourself be dragged into this conversation.

 

You come first. Put yourself only in situations in which you will have better chances of being treated lovingly.

 

Very well stated!

[WolfRamNHard]

I sent an escort a message on Whatsapp asking him if he was okay with the fact that I am black, yesterday in the morning, he's not responded as at this afternoon, so I am a bit weary about the prospects of hiring him.

 

I have been in the US for sometime now and I am still trying to wrap my head around the social dynamics of the American society. Apart from an incident with an escort, I have not had any overt display of racism or racial bias thus, the whole topic makes me deeply uncomfortable. My favorite days are when i hear statements like

1. Hey you talk really funny.

2. Yo, bruh why you talk like you is white.

3. I was not expecting a black person, you sounded really nice over the phone

4. Why are you talking like a British (Briton), you are black.

 

I usually giggle or laugh at statements like those, because i truly find them funny even though I recognise the inherent error in them

 

Sorry you have to go through this.

 

That's the United States for you. Racism and other forms of bigotry aren't usually on the surface here, but simmering underneath instead. That's because most Americans are theoretically aware that certain words and actions are rude or improper, and nobody wants to be labeled as racist or bigoted. Overt racism is not commonly displayed here publicly or in polite company, unlike in certain other countries, but it's the actions and "reading between the lines" that give it away.

 

I suspect that even if an escort in the US has a problem with your race, they will not openly admit as much. More likely, they will probably make some other excuse or just not respond to you.

Edited July 10, 2016 by WolfRamNHard

[+ Eric Hassan]

I consider myself an attractive guy who hires. However, I also know that chemistry takes two for it to work. I always provide a succinct yet informative physical description of myself to my companion. I try to be as objective as I can about height, weight, etc. When it comes to race, I state that I'm Latino. I even tell the guy I'm uncut. I do all this for 2 reasons: I like for the escort to be as fully informed as possible so that he can opt in/out but also so that he can put himself in the frame of mind to make the best of our time together. The second reason is pride: by writing down or telling him my dimensions - height, weight, race, etc, I'm subsconsciously owning who I perceive myself to be physically. Not with the intent to box me in, but to be proud of my own packaging.

 

WOW. Thank you for this. I wish more folks had this perspective!

[+ quoththeraven]

Sorry you have to go through this.

 

That's the United States for you. Racism and other forms of bigotry aren't usually on the surface here, but simmering underneath instead. That's because most Americans are theoretically aware that certain words and actions are rude or improper, and nobody wants to be labeled as racist or bigoted. Overt racism is not commonly displayed here publicly or in polite company, unlike in certain other countries, but it's the actions and "reading between the lines" that give it away.

 

I suspect that even if an escort in the US has a problem with your race, they will not openly admit as much. More likely, they will probably make some other excuse or just not respond to you.

 

Actually all of the responses are racist in the sense that they're based on stereotypes. Descendants of Africans live in England too. Has no one ever heard of South Africa and other English colonies, Jamaica or Bermuda and the Caribbean sugar plantations that underpinned British wealth? And "I was not expecting a black person, you sounded really nice over the phone is straight up racist in equating "nice" with "white."

[Rudynate]

Race only exists as a social construct. When you start looking at skin tone as a phenotype, all the problems disappear.

[WolfRamNHard]

Race only exists as a social construct. When you start looking at skin tone as a phenotype, all the problems disappear.

 

But most people do not, as a matter of fact, look at skin tone as a phenotype, and many never will (in our lifetimes at least). Ergo, the problems will continue to exist.