Would You See a Client at an SRO/Residential Hotel?

[+ Lance_Navarro]

A couple years ago I received an email on A4A from a guy who said he wanted to schedule with me and for an outcall. He gave me the address, I Google searched it and realized it was an SRO (single resident occupancy). For those who aren't aware, these are normally used to house homeless or those that can't otherwise rent an apartment for whatever reason. They are usually just one room, with a shared bathroom and shared common space. They are known for usually being pretty dirty and "rough". Also, you have to go through security to get into the building and most of the time they don't even allow guests. I seriously doubted that he was serious, but also didn't feel comfortable about it. I told him that he could come to me and that I was only about 8 blocks from him. He declined.

 

I thought about this question because a guy who just checked out my RM profile, has his address in his client profile (not premium) and it's an SRO. We of course know that many guys use RM for hook-ups with no real intent to hire, but I'm just curious how many would do as I did and decline the outcall and how many would take a chance?

[Irtwo]

No sure about other cities, but I know that in NYC many people will use SRO's as a cheap hotel alternative, since hotels can be so expensive here. Especially if they are just visiting for a night. Having said that, it would be awkward for hosting an escort and your are right that many don't let guests come in.

[+ glennnn]

Lance, I'm not an escort, but I think you made the right decision. The fact that he turned down the offer to come to you smells bad. Take care of yourself, please and always take the safe cautious route.

[Beancounter]

Thanks, Lance! I learned something today. I've never heard of an SRO.

[OneFinger]

I didn't want to be the first person to post cuz I'm not an escort, but my first thought was WTF? NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!. SRO's here are drug dens mostly for violent ex-felons, pedophiles and mentally ill who are restricted from where they can live. Bad places where people should have more important priorities than hiring escorts. You invited him to your home. I mean THAT was (scarily) generous enough. I'm a newbie and even I smell something rotten.

 

Boy, I think your post is an 0ver-generalization of a residential hotel. One of my current residences (San Diego) is a residential hotel. I've been here over a year and there's absolutely no drug den, ex-felons, pedophiles or mentally ill neighbors. It's an inexpensive place to sleep in the Hillcrest gayborhood while I'm assigned to a project in San Diego. Not sure where you're located but this residential hotel has been perfect and VERY, VERY, VERY safe for me.

[edinbrooklyn]

,

[Mocha]

I've not actually know a residential hotel before or been to one. The closest I've probably been was a "senior apartment home"...and that in itself was a little scary: their security was mostly just cameras and such.

 

That said i would go only if the person sounded normal. And had a pic. Unfortunately with Adam4Adam, you never know what you're gonna get, and i wouldn't go anywhere weird.

 

Years, years, and years ago...many many years ago, I was twice invited to truck stops to meet a client off Adam. Now, some may say that's sleazy. But, has anyone noticed that about 1 in 10 truck drivers are kinda hot? Not that it matters, but just noting. The first one was strange, but it went okay. It was late so i felt a little more comfortable. The second one was in a different area...and didn't go okay. Middle of the day, and I was completely stood up, walking between the trucks looking like a complete buffoon.

 

After that i decided to never ever ever do a truck stop call because even if the person is real, it just feels highly nerve wrecking. Maybe if it's a nearby rest stop or specific area where there's only 1 truck, I'd consider it. Hell I thought going to an RV park was scary, but it looked like the Ritz Carlton on wheels. But it's been years since I've even gotten those kinda calls and the last time i had one, I told him to get a room and I'll come over.

[+ nycman]

No

[Photojimsf]

Lance! Hi I've seen you around SF, esp. at Edge Bar. I live in a SRO, one of the few nice ones in SF. Everyone here is nice, and most have been here a long long time, and have jobs. No security no check in, just a security gate with phone entry. There is one more locked door so your host has to come down and let you in. It's the one on Market St. in same block as the LGBT center. I can only vouch for this SRO, but yes I've visited some scary SRO's in the Tender Loin.

[MasterMaxRR]

Research, research, research.

 

The second you smell bullshit, don't look for the bull, get away from the shit!

 

You did the right thing absolutely. Boom, done. No shady session is worth any rate! I'd rather judge something shady and be wrong, than to judge something as excellent and be wrong and end up in a shitty situation.

 

The fact that he wouldn't walk 8 blocks would have been my red flag, but if I had found it was a seedy SRO I might not have offered him to come to my place, if it was a nicer one, sure!

 

From what I read, decline, decline, decline. Oh, wait, did I decline that? Yup, better decline again just to be sure.

 

Above all, trust your instincts, not the rationalizations your brain makes on those instincts. Where I always got in trouble was this thought. "My gut says no, but...." The but was my brain kicking in. If you find yourself saying this to yourself, (common for my brain to talk to my brain) eliminate the butt!

 

L&L

Master Max

[LADoug1]

Was your rate the same if he came to you?

 

And I agree with you. I would have not gone to it unless you walked there and took a look first.

[+ Lance_Navarro]

Was your rate the same if he came to you?

 

And I agree with you. I would have not gone to it unless you walked there and took a look first.

My incall rate is $40 less, so that was certainly another red flag, that he wasn't willing to come to me and save the money.

[bobchitown]

Two stories, both in Chicago. The first was meeting an escort I what turned out to be some sort of SRO or halfway house. Hot guy but really scary people hanging around. Ruined the mood.

 

The second is that there is a building just north of Irving Park where any number of massage guys share an apartment. I wound up there twice before I figured out to avoid anyone with a map posting in that area. Not a pleasant experience!

[gallahadesquire]

I lived on Irving Park Road in the mid-'80s'. Didn't seem to be quite so seedy then, but .... it was a long time ago.

 

Two stories, both in Chicago. The first was meeting an escort I what turned out to be some sort of SRO or halfway house. Hot guy but really scary people hanging around. Ruined the mood.

 

The second is that there is a building just north of Irving Park where any number of massage guys share an apartment. I wound up there twice before I figured out to avoid anyone with a map posting in that area. Not a pleasant experience!

[gallahadesquire]

To you SFO types: Have any of you ever heard of the Parnassus Guest House? I found it in the mid-'70's, when I was interviewing for medical schools. It was right behind UCSF. It had shared bath / shared kitchen / and was $6 a night.

[Rudynate]

To you SFO types: Have any of you ever heard of the Parnassus Guest House? I found it in the mid-'70's, when I was interviewing for medical schools. It was right behind UCSF. It had shared bath / shared kitchen / and was $6 a night.

 

It was probably swallowed up by UCSF. UCSF medical center is on the north side of Parnassus Avenue. On the south side is the Parnassus Campus of UCSF. Behind that, is a neighborhood called Forest Knolls that is mostly UCSF married student housing. And there are more UCSF buildings way behind that in Clarendon Heights on the other side of the Sutro Forest.

[+ WilliamM]

One of my first jobs was relocating folks from SRO buildings in the 1970s. It was an urban renewal area, so the tenants received a substantial amount of money to relocate. I regretted taking the job so I felt better when I helped people moved & got each person the max amount under the Uniform Relocation Act. People end up in SRO because of problems, perhaps drinking or drugs.

 

There are several reasons why the SRO guy did want to visit your apartment. The most likely is shame; he may not have visited anyone in years. Some times shame out distances the desire for sex.

[East2West]

Lance! Hi I've seen you around SF, esp. at Edge Bar. I live in a SRO, one of the few nice ones in SF. Everyone here is nice, and most have been here a long long time, and have jobs. No security no check in, just a security gate with phone entry. There is one more locked door so your host has to come down and let you in. It's the one on Market St. in same block as the LGBT center. I can only vouch for this SRO, but yes I've visited some scary SRO's in the Tender Loin.

 

Photojimsf,

 

What an informative and well written reply! I had never heard of an SRO before this thread and thought you deserved a shout out of some sort. Also, like your blog/website. I didn't read all the way through it but got a vibe it was about sexy men and gogo life local to SF (at least it was for the last several days).

[tennisjock]

I love how I always learn something new on these forum chats. Always informative and good Intel and info thank you for sharing

[hairyhorny415]

A couple years ago I received an email on A4A from a guy who said he wanted to schedule with me and for an outcall. He gave me the address, I Google searched it and realized it was an SRO (single resident occupancy)...a guy who just checked out my RM profile, has his address in his client profile (not premium) and it's an SRO. We of course know that many guys use RM for hook-ups with no real intent to hire, but I'm just curious how many would do as I did and decline the outcall and how many would take a chance?

 

Great question and thread! You have great intuition and made the right choice, Lance. Living in SF, a lot of the SRO's in the Tenderloin can be scary. A friend of mine places triple diagnosed ex-cons in SRO housing as his job. The stories I have heard about rules and the shenanigans that can happen are pretty stressful. Even if your client is normal and nice, the surroundings in his building might not be. I'd also check out the bed bug report to see if his SRO has been affected.

 

You were right in redirecting the client back to doing an in-call, save money, and relax. Maybe next time, suggest the $40 he would have spent on an outcall could be used towards a cab/uber/bus ride to you. Worst case scenario - the client is high as a kite/bad news and doesn't want to go out. Best case - maybe he has a physical or mental disability and/or severe depression where travel is difficult.

 

What about the opposite scenario? Advice on hiring a masseur that advertises his location in the tenderloin and possibly a SRO? Is there a kind, mindful way to find out if his place is clean, safe, and drug&drama-free? The price of living in SF has forced a lot of men into living in the TL. I prefer in-calls because it is nice to have a change in scenery/energy without having my significant other (my very cute shiba inu pup) get all the attention LOL.

[Meo]

Great question. Big cities are turning to SROs more and more it seems as a way for social services to handle placing the hard to place within the city. I had an internship back in the day that briefly involved visiting guys in SROs. From what I saw the "security" was negligible, basically just a a door buzzer that opened for each resident and guests were no problem. I also always felt safe in the doorways and public areas. The main things I noticed were how crowded they were--the hallways full, and the rooms barely big enough for a twin bed and a chest of drawers. This might be a mood killer, but the rooms were reasonably private and sound-proofed too.

[BryanKnight]

I've had that happen once with a return visitor. I went to his place and the security turned me away from the building, and he did not pick up the phone.

Generally not a good idea.

[Kenny]

Boy, I think your post is an 0ver-generalization of a residential hotel. One of my current residences (San Diego) is a residential hotel. I've been here over a year and there's absolutely no drug den, ex-felons, pedophiles or mentally ill neighbors. It's an inexpensive place to sleep in the Hillcrest gayborhood while I'm assigned to a project in San Diego. Not sure where you're located but this residential hotel has been perfect and VERY, VERY, VERY safe for me.

A residential hotel is not the same thing as an SRO. Apples and oranges. Many SRO's are former hotels, and the best ones are affiliated with social service agencies.

[OneFinger]

A residential hotel is not the same thing as an SRO. Apples and oranges. Many SRO's are former hotels, and the best ones are affiliated with social service agencies.

Thanks for the clarification.