I think my new neighbour is an escort

[caliguy]

Like living above a great curry restaurant or something.

That would sound like a nightmare to me.

[oz_carter]

Thanks for all the comments guys. I will try to introduce myself today. I will not be baking any cookies or bring a gift basket with dildos and Jose Cuervo however I'll keep it simple with a bottle of wine.

[Brian Kevin]

Thanks for all the comments guys. I will try to introduce myself today. I will not be baking any cookies or bring a gift basket with dildos and Jose Cuervo however I'll keep it simple with a bottle of wine.

 

I'm down for bringing the Jose cuervo, dildos and cookies over to you.

[Guest]

He's living on the same floor as you so I have to ask: why are you being such a bad neighbor, Oz_Carter? It's your duty to put a note under his door and invite him round for drinks etc. so that you can get acquainted and make him feel welcome in your building. In the future, there may come a rainy, stormy day when you don't want to leave the building in search of paid entertainment.

 

I'm with those who suggest you introduce yourself and be neighborly. However, I would just introduce myself in person rather than slip a note under the door. Invite the person over for drinks, or coffee, or something. May I ask where you live, which seems to make you uncomfortable introducing yourself? Wherever I've lived, my neighbors came to introduce themselves when I moved to the area, and I welcomed new people when they moved in next to me. Even if you don't want to hire the man, it's always a good idea to be acquainted with and offer to help out your neighbors.

[+ WilliamM]

Time to bake cookies and stop by. Trying welcoming him. Show him you welcome him. Maybe you'll find out what's going on! Never judge a book by its cover

 

Exactly. Years ago I lived in two different small apartment buildings (with a break in between) where a very good-looking friend also lived. We both knew the landlord. The week after I moved into the second apartment building, one female neighbor speculated whether or not my friend was gay ("He never has any women visit.") I knew he was not gay, but put off saying anything. Before I could say anything the 40 year old female neighbor was rushed to the hospital and died a few days later.

 

There's no huge point to the story, She was correct...most of his friends were male. But, so what. An example of how rumors and gossip start

[oz_carter]

I'm with those who suggest you introduce yourself and be neighborly. However, I would just introduce myself in person rather than slip a note under the door. Invite the person over for drinks, or coffee, or something. May I ask where you live, which seems to make you uncomfortable introducing yourself? Wherever I've lived, my neighbors came to introduce themselves when I moved to the area, and I welcomed new people when they moved in next to me. Even if you don't want to hire the man, it's always a good idea to be acquainted with and offer to help out your neighbors.

 

Unicorn, I split my time between Melbourne and Sydney. This particular neighbour is in Melbourne. I'm not uncomfortable introducing myself. It's just that the few times I've seen him he looks at me briefly then looks away. And so did his guest. Him and his guest were not talking to each other too. They were just walking side by side.

 

I saw him in the lobby this morning. He was on the phone and he smiled at me. Thought it could just be there was something in his conversation that caused him to smile and I just happened to be there.

[oz_carter]

I'm down for bringing the Jose cuervo, dildos and cookies over to you.

 

I hope you are prepared to travel 14+ hours to get to Melbourne. That is, if you fly from LA.

[Guest]

I'm not uncomfortable introducing myself. It's just that the few times I've seen him he looks at me briefly then looks away. And so did his guest.

 

Well, maybe he is an escort. When he's with someone is probably not the best time to introduce yourself. I would do it after work or on a week-end sometime. Interesting. I always thought of Australians as among the friendliest, most outgoing people. I've always pictured the Kiwis as more reserved and aloof.

[klifhangar]

This has the makings of a good story. Please introduce yourself quickly so that we can be entertained.

[CompleteNewbie]

Well? Anything new?

[Bargara Leatherboy]

Its all about respect!!!

 

I think even in Australia our cities are big, and people take no notice of other people, or are too busy with their own life being all about "me" to worry.

 

We live in the suburbs, and while we say hi to our neighbours when we see them, most of our time at home we are inside or in our private back yard - and we just dont mix.

[+ glennnn]

Be friendly and welcoming, but let the neighbor guide the personal revelations. I came out to my wife last December, my son this September, and my two best friends in October. It was very hard and scary, and I think I'm done. I am a well-known, retired teacher in a small town, where privacy can be a problem. I would REALLY resent any one prying and upsetting the precious, peace and balance I've waited so long to achieve. If I want the whole town to know, I will tell them. I will tell them!

 

I'm not saying the OP means any harm with his curiosity. It's just that private information, secrets if you will, should be gifts of trust and love we choose to give, not gossip items that are taken from us. Get to know the guy, and let him decide how much he wants to share, or just leave him alone. His business is his business. May I ask why anyone needs to know in the first place?

[Rudynate]

It seems that everyone is overthinking this. I think the OP was merely speculating as we would about any neighbor with curious habits.

 

I agree that the OP should make the neighbor feel welcome. Hospitality goes a long way. Whenever a new person or family moves into my neighborhood, I bring them something - cookies, vegetables from my garden etc. This has really pulled our neighborhood together and a bunch of us have gone out to get drinks, we've had one another in our homes etc. It's all about community. Then again, I'm a raging extrovert.

 

 

Exactly. It sounds like everybody involved needs to get out more.

[Epigonos]

I live in a small (52 units) condo complex in Orange County CA. I have been chairman of the board of directors now for over ten years. Being in that position I know nearly ALL of the other owners and renters. The complex is not multiple story but a group of separate building where owners comings and goings are readily visible. I frequently have escorts over and I would bet that many of my neighbors wonder what is going on. Frankly I don't give a shit what they think or imagine, it's none of their business. Wisely no one has ever broached the subject with me as I have a, well deserved, reputation for being painfully blunt and profane.

[TruthBTold]

I live in a small condo building in big city. Except for a woman that lives down the hall, I seldom see the same person more than once every 6 or 9 months. I might remark about the dog they have (if they have one) or how slow our elevator is. If they want to keep the conversation going, great, if not then it ends until the next time I see them. In certain limited circumstances a small gift is given (holiday). Otherwise, I think that people expect that their privacy will be respected. If there is something that breaks the rules of the condo people know to contact the condo management. It is a system that works well.

[+ purplekow]

Truth you paint a bleak picture of isolation in your own home. I know these people are not your friends. It seems they are not really your neighbors, but rather just people who share the same elevator with you. I know you have a full rich life and so you may not need more than a nodding acquaintance, but I ask you to consider that there are a lot of lonely people living in big cities who have no idea how to make contact. Perhaps they just need someone to make a bit more effort to show them that it is safe to share more than a nod and meaningless elevator conversation. You can show interest without being nosy. So it is probably best for one to avoid starting out asking questions about matters which are personal. In the case of the OP, stop imagining titillating tidbits which are not any of your business. If you are interested in the man you are asking about, engage him in conversation.

[LADoug1]

He might just be a highly sexual guy who's into daddies.

[cany10011]

I live in a very gay neighborhood and a very gay building. I'm good friends with most my neighbors in my condo and have been able to surprisingly instruct a "visiting trick" in the elevator which apartment they should be heading to from the elevator based on my knowledge of my neighbors sexual tastes. Good thing I ask my escorts to dress appropriately - - although I'm sure my neighbors know what I'm up to.

[slightly]

I live in a very gay neighborhood and a very gay building. I'm good friends with most my neighbors in my condo and have been able to surprisingly instruct a "visiting trick" in the elevator which apartment they should be heading to from the elevator based on my knowledge of my neighbors sexual tastes. Good thing I ask my escorts to dress appropriately - - although I'm sure my neighbors know what I'm up to.

 

It would be funny if some of your neighbours were also active members on this forum and you guys have been chatting away without realising it

[Rudynate]

I know all of my neighbors well. I live in a house, but in San Francisco, most of the housing is attached so it isn't unlike living in a building. We don't socialize, but we all know each other and say "hello" and watch out for each other. Our immediate next door neighbors have two daughters who were teenagers when we first moved in. The daughters' relationship with their mother seemed pretty volatile because they would scream at each other. One time, it got so loud that my partner knocked on their door to make sure everything was OK. The mother answered the door, and when he asked if everything was OK, she calmly replied,"Yes, my daughters are just going off on me." In retrospect, it was kind of funny.

[Rudynate]

He might just be a highly sexual guy who's into daddies.

 

Sounds like a great life.

[+ poolboy48220]

I know all of my neighbors well. I live in a house, but in San Francisco, most of the housing is attached so it isn't unlike living in a building. We don't socialize, but we all know each other and say "hello" and watch out for each other. Our immediate next door neighbors have two daughters who were teenagers when we first moved in. The daughters' relationship with their mother seemed pretty volatile because they would scream at each other. One time, it got so loud that my partner knocked on their door to make sure everything was OK. The mother answered the door, and when he asked if everything was OK, she calmly replied,"Yes, my daughters are just going off on me." In retrospect, it was kind of funny.

Reminds me of a post I read about a screaming child, someone asked the parent if everything was okay, the parent said "yes, he (the child) just saw that his sandwich was cut diagonally rather than in half".

[RockyHardon]

He might just be on grindr, scruf, and A4A alot and like Daddy's. Plenty of pretty boys playing alot for fun in this world. Not everyone seeing older guys is are "working".

[TruthBTold]

Truth you paint a bleak picture of isolation in your own home. I know these people are not your friends. It seems they are not really your neighbors, but rather just people who share the same elevator with you. I know you have a full rich life and so you may not need more than a nodding acquaintance, but I ask you to consider that there are a lot of lonely people living in big cities who have no idea how to make contact. Perhaps they just need someone to make a bit more effort to show them that it is safe to share more than a nod and meaningless elevator conversation. You can show interest without being nosy. So it is probably best for one to avoid starting out asking questions about matters which are personal. In the case of the OP, stop imagining titillating tidbits which are not any of your business. If you are interested in the man you are asking about, engage him in conversation.

 

I'm sorry if it appears to be isolation. It is more just getting to know people in a big city (2.8 million). I generally have said hello to the person and they have responded and that is the start. Either we continue the conversation or we can do so the next time or they will not want to speak with me further. Or the person may be the person who has just delivered a pizza so I generally will not see them again. It's not loneliness. It is the preference of the other person and I will abide by it. But I will always try to begin a conversation in some fashion.