"mutual touch"

[GeoMitch]

Is there a standard understanding of what "mutual touch" entails?

Do different masseurs interpret it differently?

What is generally understood can/will occur if a masseur claims to allow "mutual touch?"

Thanks for any input.

[+ bashful]

Never had a massage from a guy who advertised "mutual touch" so cannot say. But I think it's worth the chance since you know a bit more of expectations before meeting. Massage ads have changed a lot recently (from therapeutic, sensual, erotic, to more benign heal, relax). I recently had a massage from a guy who advertised "relax", but nothing in his ad would lead you to believe anything beyond massage should be expected. It was actually a very good massage. At one point, I asked if I may touch him (I didn't want to assume anything). I'll never forget his response when he said "not a museum". I only lightly grazed his inner thighs with the back of my hands. I hope to see him again...soon.

[+ beethoven]

To me, "mutual touch" means that I can touch him. Obviously, he's going to have his hands all over me -- exactly where is something else again. That's difficult to predict. Just about every masseur who advertises will provide a happy ending, unless his ad says "strictly therapeutic," or something like that. If they keep their shorts and shirt on, they will usually tell you in the ad.

But I think that Bashful is right to ask -- that's just politeness and consideration. Respect and civility go a long

way in the massage game, just as they do in other aspects of daily life. Many times, you just have to play it by ear -- no pun intended!

[LookingAround]

Forgive me but what did you take the "not a museum" to mean? Weird.

[noob_one]

Forgive me but what did you take the "not a museum" to mean? Weird.

 

Not a museum means you can touch the guy, because in museum you cannot touch whatever displayed there right?

[Marlfox]

Not a museum means you can touch the guy, because in museum you cannot touch whatever displayed there right?

 

That's what I take it to mean. The guy was saying "go ahead, touch all you want".

[Just Chuck]

I read mutual to mean up to as much as the masseur is touching the client.

[Cliff]

I understand it to mean that he will touch me in a sensual/sexual way and I can do the same.

[Nvr2thick4me]

I never assume anything. I always ask before I touch a masseur - usually they give me clear signals that it's ok.

[rogerG]

I never assume anything. I always ask before I touch a masseur.

 

I do the same thing. It amazes me how many men don't seem to know, or understand, or care what the word "respect" means.

 

"Mutual touch" is a general indication that the guy is OK with you touching him. Sometimes it needs to be said because a lot of guys don't want to leave the "touch" door wide open, for a variety of reasons. How the "touch" is defined is a very personal decision. You show respect by asking about personal boundaries. A lot of guys respond nicely when you show them respect. They can become very generous when they realize you're not just a selfish taker.

[+ Travis69]

When you are face down on the table, with your hands by your side, you really don't have good coordination of your arm movements. Trying to touch then gets clumsy and you can end up hitting the masseur in the balls. Not a good way to start off a massage. You don't need to touch him 99.9% of the massage time. Let him do his job if you are really expecting a half way decent massage.

[Brian Kevin]

Mutual touch?? Yes please, lets exchange energy, time and effort. Lay down and relax, release and refresh. Enjoy a facial (or 2) a nice massage and a sugar scrub-- Need I explain the sugar scrub again? It really gets everyone going. A real trained LMT will understand the importance of mutual touching with m4m massage. S0me go further than others, and like myself-- whom is almost into anything safe and sane!

[mike carey]

Brian, you don't need to defend how you conduct your sessions!

[Brian Kevin]

Brian, you don't need to defend how you conduct your sessions!

 

 

i'm not defending !!!!! I am just saying for those interested in massage and mutual touch (plus) beyond that

[+ Funguy]

God, I'm hard just thinking about all of this!

[Brian Kevin]

God, I'm hard just thinking about all of this!

 

I call dibs!!!

[beachboy]

God, I'm hard just thinking about all of this!

Brian Kevin describing his service is enough to get any guy hard !!

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

When you are face down on the table, with your hands by your side, you really don't have good coordination of your arm movements. Trying to touch then gets clumsy and you can end up hitting the masseur in the balls. Not a good way to start off a massage. You don't need to touch him 99.9% of the massage time. Let him do his job if you are really expecting a half way decent massage.

 

I have often find that even without asking a masseur will encourage me to touch him by any of the following:

 

(1) when I'm face down on the table, position himself so that his cock is in my palm as he kneads my back,

(2) while standing above me, gently make sure his cock rubs my cheek,

(3) when massaging and stretching my arms, place an arms between his legs and say "it is ok."

[+ Funguy]

How do these guys not get hard while they are doing this? By the time I'm doing the touching, I'm like a rock!

[+ LAdude424]

This may be more about legit massage - where no advertising or discussion of "mutual touch"has been discussed - but I thought I'd add to the general direction of the conversation:

 

My standard MO is the be laying face down, have my hands on the side of the table, cupping around the edge. This just feels most natural for me - very gently gripping around the table's edge. Otherwise my hands feel almost unconformable open palms flat down, or palms flat up.

 

I must admit i do this for every massage pretty much, even at full on legit spa/hotel/resort places. And even if my hands are under a drape. You can kinda deduce where the masseur is most of the time, and I may ever so gently adjust my hands here and there if i feel it may position them a bit closer to the masseur's crotch. Then it's up to the masseur to drop some hints. Sometimes it's only 10 minutes in and I'm feeling a throbbing bulge directly on my hand. .OK.. .that's a VERY clear message. I've had massages where it never went any further than that. I feel his cock- through his pants, .,rub it, massage it... but he goes no further.. still i like that connection and intimacy (especially as part of a good massage in the first place - it's a small but very nice extra) I;d actually rather be rubbing his dick here and there while he gives a good massage, and have nothing else. than the sitaution where there is NO intimate touch for 55 minutes, then a very perfunctory hand job at the end. .that feels so disconnected and un-nurturing.

 

Often the crotch-brush-against-the-hand is the first signal form the masseur to hte client that "yes, we can a do a bit more " and most of the time it proceeds to at least a happy ending for me. If the masseur grabs my ass or dick, or whips his dick out, then I feel comfortable reciprocating, and of course backing off if he indicates it's off limits.

 

It's a bit of a dance. .especially at legit places.. he's kinda cautious about crossing a line, and I'm making sure I'm not being a hands perv of a client. But it's a dance I love and I admit, even someitmes contacting a guy on massagem4m or masseurfinder, I WONT have an explicit converstaion because I want to enjoy the testing of boundaries.

 

Every now and them a masseur will deftly take my hand and place it next to my body, AWAY from the edge of the table. I may gradually work my hand out to the side again, and if he puts it back next to my body a second time. I interpret that as OK.. message received. Nothing extra at all.. and that's OK

 

Again, this is for legit places. If a masseur ADVERTISES mutual touch, then i feel you should be comfortable gently and respectfully initiating contact and seeing if it's permitted (some mutual touch MUST be permitted) or if he terminates the contact.

 

I'd be interested in others' input here.

[bobby2013r]

I think there is no standard definition of that term. Totally depends on the chemistry between the masseur and client as 2 consenting adults.

[luvsrubs]

This may be more about legit massage - where no advertising or discussion of "mutual touch"has been discussed - but I thought I'd add to the general direction of the conversation:

 

My standard MO is the be laying face down, have my hands on the side of the table, cupping around the edge. This just feels most natural for me - very gently gripping around the table's edge. Otherwise my hands feel almost unconformable open palms flat down, or palms flat up.

 

I must admit i do this for every massage pretty much, even at full on legit spa/hotel/resort places. And even if my hands are under a drape. You can kinda deduce where the masseur is most of the time, and I may ever so gently adjust my hands here and there if i feel it may position them a bit closer to the masseur's crotch. Then it's up to the masseur to drop some hints. Sometimes it's only 10 minutes in and I'm feeling a throbbing bulge directly on my hand. .OK.. .that's a VERY clear message. I've had massages where it never went any further than that. I feel his cock- through his pants, .,rub it, massage it... but he goes no further.. still i like that connection and intimacy (especially as part of a good massage in the first place - it's a small but very nice extra) I;d actually rather be rubbing his dick here and there while he gives a good massage, and have nothing else. than the sitaution where there is NO intimate touch for 55 minutes, then a very perfunctory hand job at the end. .that feels so disconnected and un-nurturing.

 

Often the crotch-brush-against-the-hand is the first signal form the masseur to hte client that "yes, we can a do a bit more " and most of the time it proceeds to at least a happy ending for me. If the masseur grabs my ass or dick, or whips his dick out, then I feel comfortable reciprocating, and of course backing off if he indicates it's off limits.

 

It's a bit of a dance. .especially at legit places.. he's kinda cautious about crossing a line, and I'm making sure I'm not being a hands perv of a client. But it's a dance I love and I admit, even someitmes contacting a guy on massagem4m or masseurfinder, I WONT have an explicit converstaion because I want to enjoy the testing of boundaries.

 

 

 

Every now and them a masseur will deftly take my hand and place it next to my body, AWAY from the edge of the table. I may gradually work my hand out to the side again, and if he puts it back next to my body a second time. I interpret that as OK.. message received. Nothing extra at all.. and that's OK

 

Again, this is for legit places. If a masseur ADVERTISES mutual touch, then i feel you should be comfortable gently and respectfully initiating contact and seeing if it's permitted (some mutual touch MUST be permitted) or if he terminates the contact.

 

I'd be interested in others' input here.

This is one of the best descriptions of procedure for a possible but unknown erotic massage I've ever read. Could be a handbook on how to proceed as far as I'm concerned.

[+ Billsboy4]

I think everyone's definition of these terms is different. You never know what's in the masseur's mind. Instead of speculating, why not just ask. In my experience, I find that being clear and upfront before you meet the person is the only way to know for sure. What does 'custom' really mean? or 'relax'? or 'heal'?

 

In the words of a wise Joan Rivers: Ya don't know if ya' don't ask!

[MikeBiDude]

This may be more about legit massage - where no advertising or discussion of "mutual touch"has been discussed - but I thought I'd add to the general direction of the conversation:

 

My standard MO is the be laying face down, have my hands on the side of the table, cupping around the edge. This just feels most natural for me - very gently gripping around the table's edge. Otherwise my hands feel almost unconformable open palms flat down, or palms flat up.

 

I must admit i do this for every massage pretty much, even at full on legit spa/hotel/resort places. And even if my hands are under a drape. You can kinda deduce where the masseur is most of the time, and I may ever so gently adjust my hands here and there if i feel it may position them a bit closer to the masseur's crotch. Then it's up to the masseur to drop some hints. Sometimes it's only 10 minutes in and I'm feeling a throbbing bulge directly on my hand. .OK.. .that's a VERY clear message. I've had massages where it never went any further than that. I feel his cock- through his pants, .,rub it, massage it... but he goes no further.. still i like that connection and intimacy (especially as part of a good massage in the first place - it's a small but very nice extra) I;d actually rather be rubbing his dick here and there while he gives a good massage, and have nothing else. than the sitaution where there is NO intimate touch for 55 minutes, then a very perfunctory hand job at the end. .that feels so disconnected and un-nurturing.

 

Often the crotch-brush-against-the-hand is the first signal form the masseur to hte client that "yes, we can a do a bit more " and most of the time it proceeds to at least a happy ending for me. If the masseur grabs my ass or dick, or whips his dick out, then I feel comfortable reciprocating, and of course backing off if he indicates it's off limits.

 

It's a bit of a dance. .especially at legit places.. he's kinda cautious about crossing a line, and I'm making sure I'm not being a hands perv of a client. But it's a dance I love and I admit, even someitmes contacting a guy on massagem4m or masseurfinder, I WONT have an explicit converstaion because I want to enjoy the testing of boundaries.

 

Every now and them a masseur will deftly take my hand and place it next to my body, AWAY from the edge of the table. I may gradually work my hand out to the side again, and if he puts it back next to my body a second time. I interpret that as OK.. message received. Nothing extra at all.. and that's OK

 

Again, this is for legit places. If a masseur ADVERTISES mutual touch, then i feel you should be comfortable gently and respectfully initiating contact and seeing if it's permitted (some mutual touch MUST be permitted) or if he terminates the contact.

 

I'd be interested in others' input here.

 

This would also mirror almost *exactly* my own MO. Especially since I do like good massage, the intimacy of touching nice, and fun beyond the massage is all bonus. I've had the same experiences in "pro/legit" as LADude424 in that regard. Even on a Princess Cruise ship once.

[+ poolboy48220]

This may be more about legit massage - where no advertising or discussion of "mutual touch"has been discussed - but I thought I'd add to the general direction of the conversation:

 

My standard MO is the be laying face down, have my hands on the side of the table, cupping around the edge. This just feels most natural for me - very gently gripping around the table's edge. Otherwise my hands feel almost unconformable open palms flat down, or palms flat up.

 

I must admit i do this for every massage pretty much, even at full on legit spa/hotel/resort places. And even if my hands are under a drape. You can kinda deduce where the masseur is most of the time, and I may ever so gently adjust my hands here and there if i feel it may position them a bit closer to the masseur's crotch. Then it's up to the masseur to drop some hints. Sometimes it's only 10 minutes in and I'm feeling a throbbing bulge directly on my hand. .OK.. .that's a VERY clear message. I've had massages where it never went any further than that. I feel his cock- through his pants, .,rub it, massage it... but he goes no further.. still i like that connection and intimacy (especially as part of a good massage in the first place - it's a small but very nice extra) I;d actually rather be rubbing his dick here and there while he gives a good massage, and have nothing else. than the sitaution where there is NO intimate touch for 55 minutes, then a very perfunctory hand job at the end. .that feels so disconnected and un-nurturing.

 

Often the crotch-brush-against-the-hand is the first signal form the masseur to hte client that "yes, we can a do a bit more " and most of the time it proceeds to at least a happy ending for me. If the masseur grabs my ass or dick, or whips his dick out, then I feel comfortable reciprocating, and of course backing off if he indicates it's off limits.

 

It's a bit of a dance. .especially at legit places.. he's kinda cautious about crossing a line, and I'm making sure I'm not being a hands perv of a client. But it's a dance I love and I admit, even someitmes contacting a guy on massagem4m or masseurfinder, I WONT have an explicit converstaion because I want to enjoy the testing of boundaries.

 

Every now and them a masseur will deftly take my hand and place it next to my body, AWAY from the edge of the table. I may gradually work my hand out to the side again, and if he puts it back next to my body a second time. I interpret that as OK.. message received. Nothing extra at all.. and that's OK

 

Again, this is for legit places. If a masseur ADVERTISES mutual touch, then i feel you should be comfortable gently and respectfully initiating contact and seeing if it's permitted (some mutual touch MUST be permitted) or if he terminates the contact.

 

I'd be interested in others' input here.

Another upvote for this post, especially the "enjoy the testing of boundaries" bit. It reminds me of a description I wrote in another forum years ago, in response to a guy who wondered if anything ever started in the steamroom of the gym, and how to initiate it. Always very subtle advances and an awareness of how they were being received, and proceeding (or stopping) based on that reception.

 

when I was first coming out, I had a massage from a guy who started with you on your back, then moved to you being face down, opposite of how most massages go. It wasn't until I was face down that he started rubbing his crotch against my hand, and it went where you would expect.