Seeking arrangements success!

[MscleLovr]

I would imagine these guys on SA know the marketplace

 

@cany10011 I could not disagree more! The guys I met from SA were amateurs (not pros) and interested in finding some financial support. Some of the guys like spending time with older men. It helps if you’re a good listener and prepared to be generous.

 

as part of the "courting" process I am fine with some coffee dates. For that I generally pay $100 for a couple of hours.

 

I feel that’s perfectly reasonable @fedssocr1 For my part, I would move things along to a dinner date quickly if I was interested in a guy. Often there was mutual interest and he stayed for breakfast.

 

my advice is don't confuse seeking with rentmen, they are different animals. Start slowly, take him for a drink. Do what you would do with a date, not an escort.

 

Excellent advice @The_Impeccable_G I feel Seeking is great but you have to be patient and enjoyed the ‘dating game’. I certainly had some great times with guys I met from Seeking, but I also had some frustrating times. I even had one bad dinner-date that was so bad that I refer to it as the gold standard of bad dates. Even now, it makes me chuckle to remember how, as we parted, he asked me when we were going to meet next.

[The_Impeccable_G]

I even had one bad dinner-date that was so bad that I refer to it as the gold standard of bad dates.

I am sure that would be a great story to tell over a drink ? Can you share key points?

[MscleLovr]

Yes @The_Impeccable_G but without giving anything away to identify the young man

 

To put it in context, I should mention I have one Golden Rule about first dates. It‘s my view that everyone presents the best version of himself on a first date. So if the man is rude or insulting (especially to the wait staff) or behaves badly or something seems not quite right/feels ‘off’ or if there’s some discrepancy with what I was told earlier, there is no second date. That’s s my Golden Rule.

 

He was working full-time and living in London. He was my type: early 20s, university-educated, decent looks, athletic body; very compatible with my being a top only; and he was keen to meet an older man. I suggested drinks but he countered with dinner so we could get to know each other better.

 

Alarm-bell 1: He asked where I was taking him to dinner. He approved my choice of a fashionable restaurant and I booked at the time he stipulated.

 

Alarm-bell 2: I arrived 5 minutes early but he was already there. He told me he’d expected me to be there to greet him; I smiled and gently pointed out I was early. He countered with he’d been waiting for 10 minutes.

 

Alarm-bell 3: I suggested a glass of wine. He said No, let’s have a bottle.

 

Alarm-bell 4: He was dismissive to the nice waiter…and a little later, snapped at him.

 

Alarm-bell 5: He happened to spill some wine on his shirt. When I suggested he dab some water on the stain, he snapped at me You think I don’t know how to do laundry?! Apparently it was a new shirt he’d bought to impress me.

 

Alarm-bell 6: I was thinking how to smooth over his upset, when he said What? So now you’re not talking to me just because I raised my voice to you?

 

Alarm-bell 7: I’d been making pleasant conversation and asking him about his job, his interests, his likes and dislikes etc. I made a mental note that he had not asked me anything. Then he abruptly remarked on the new iPhone. He said he wanted the one in rose-gold. I murmured Isn’t that expensive? He replied Not for you.

 

Luckily, then our first courses arrived

[The_Impeccable_G]

Yes @The_Impeccable_G but without giving anything away to identify the young man

 

To put it in context, I should mention I have one Golden Rule about first dates. It‘s my view that everyone presents the best version of himself on a first date. So if the man is rude or insulting (especially to the wait staff) or behaves badly or something seems not quite right/feels ‘off’ or if there’s some discrepancy with what I was told earlier, there is no second date. That’s s my Golden Rule.

 

He was working full-time and living in London. He was my type: early 20s, university-educated, decent looks, athletic body; very compatible with my being a top only; and he was keen to meet an older man. I suggested drinks but he countered with dinner so we could get to know each other better.

 

Alarm-bell 1: He asked where I was taking him to dinner. He approved my choice of a fashionable restaurant and I booked at the time he stipulated.

 

Alarm-bell 2: I arrived 5 minutes early but he was already there. He told me he’d expected me to be there to greet him; I smiled and gently pointed out I was early. He countered with he’d been waiting for 10 minutes.

 

Alarm-bell 3: I suggested a glass of wine. He said No, let’s have a bottle.

 

Alarm-bell 4: He was dismissive to the nice waiter…and a little later, snapped at him.

 

Alarm-bell 5: He happened to spill some wine on his shirt. When I suggested he dab some water on the stain, he snapped at me You think I don’t know how to do laundry?! Apparently it was a new shirt he’d bought to impress me.

 

Alarm-bell 6: I was thinking how to smooth over his upset, when he said What? So now you’re not talking to me just because I raised my voice to you?

 

Alarm-bell 7: I’d been making pleasant conversation and asking him about his job, his interests, his likes and dislikes etc. I made a mental note that he had not asked me anything. Then he abruptly remarked on the new iPhone. He said he wanted the one in rose-gold. I murmured Isn’t that expensive? He replied Not for you.

 

Luckily, then our first courses arrived

Thank you. I get the picture. I had a similar experience many years ago. But I liked him so much that I did not care at the time. Now I regret it.

[cany10011]

Yes @The_Impeccable_G but without giving anything away to identify the young man

 

To put it in context, I should mention I have one Golden Rule about first dates. It‘s my view that everyone presents the best version of himself on a first date. So if the man is rude or insulting (especially to the wait staff) or behaves badly or something seems not quite right/feels ‘off’ or if there’s some discrepancy with what I was told earlier, there is no second date. That’s s my Golden Rule.

 

He was working full-time and living in London. He was my type: early 20s, university-educated, decent looks, athletic body; very compatible with my being a top only; and he was keen to meet an older man. I suggested drinks but he countered with dinner so we could get to know each other better.

 

Alarm-bell 1: He asked where I was taking him to dinner. He approved my choice of a fashionable restaurant and I booked at the time he stipulated.

 

Alarm-bell 2: I arrived 5 minutes early but he was already there. He told me he’d expected me to be there to greet him; I smiled and gently pointed out I was early. He countered with he’d been waiting for 10 minutes.

 

Alarm-bell 3: I suggested a glass of wine. He said No, let’s have a bottle.

 

Alarm-bell 4: He was dismissive to the nice waiter…and a little later, snapped at him.

 

Alarm-bell 5: He happened to spill some wine on his shirt. When I suggested he dab some water on the stain, he snapped at me You think I don’t know how to do laundry?! Apparently it was a new shirt he’d bought to impress me.

 

Alarm-bell 6: I was thinking how to smooth over his upset, when he said What? So now you’re not talking to me just because I raised my voice to you?

 

Alarm-bell 7: I’d been making pleasant conversation and asking him about his job, his interests, his likes and dislikes etc. I made a mental note that he had not asked me anything. Then he abruptly remarked on the new iPhone. He said he wanted the one in rose-gold. I murmured Isn’t that expensive? He replied Not for you.

 

Luckily, then our first courses arrived

I hope you skipped dessert!

[+ José Soplanucas]

I made an attempt to catch up after all these months away, but I gave up. I just skipped to the last page and it is still too much. So let me drop my 2cs for what I think it is being mostly discussed, and I apologize if I sound out of place, as I probably will be.

 

I do not think that making generalizations about who the guys in SA are, or about what they want, or about how educated in the trade they are, is a productive approach. In my experience, the diversity of the offer in SA is out of the charts. Do not waste your time trying to figure it out a stereotype that does not exist.

 

Instead, focus on who you are, what you want, and what you are willing to trade for it. Notice that I did not say pay but trade for it. It is possible to offer things like lessons, school work, an extra room at your place, or whatever you have that may be appealing for these young guys.

 

Navigating SA takes a lot of time, much more than just going to a rent boys website to pick one from the menu. To cut the waist of time, I learned to make clear in my opening what I was willing to give. Far from bragging and faking a wealth I do not possess, I was transparent. I would make clear that my extra cash was very limited. This simple strategy, once I learned it, was a key for my success. Once I was left with the smaller universe of the guys I was able to afford, I was ready to find out what they were looking for. Let me insist: the offer is very diverse in all senses.

 

I am too lazy to go back to my blog and look for the reports, but about three years ago I spent a full month exploring intensively the site, and shared all my failures and successes. I do remember that the beginning was frustrating but it paid off in the long term.

Edited March 23, 2021 by latbear4blk

[CuriousByNature]

Yes @The_Impeccable_G but without giving anything away to identify the young man

 

To put it in context, I should mention I have one Golden Rule about first dates. It‘s my view that everyone presents the best version of himself on a first date. So if the man is rude or insulting (especially to the wait staff) or behaves badly or something seems not quite right/feels ‘off’ or if there’s some discrepancy with what I was told earlier, there is no second date. That’s s my Golden Rule.

 

He was working full-time and living in London. He was my type: early 20s, university-educated, decent looks, athletic body; very compatible with my being a top only; and he was keen to meet an older man. I suggested drinks but he countered with dinner so we could get to know each other better.

 

Alarm-bell 1: He asked where I was taking him to dinner. He approved my choice of a fashionable restaurant and I booked at the time he stipulated.

 

Alarm-bell 2: I arrived 5 minutes early but he was already there. He told me he’d expected me to be there to greet him; I smiled and gently pointed out I was early. He countered with he’d been waiting for 10 minutes.

 

Alarm-bell 3: I suggested a glass of wine. He said No, let’s have a bottle.

 

Alarm-bell 4: He was dismissive to the nice waiter…and a little later, snapped at him.

 

Alarm-bell 5: He happened to spill some wine on his shirt. When I suggested he dab some water on the stain, he snapped at me You think I don’t know how to do laundry?! Apparently it was a new shirt he’d bought to impress me.

 

Alarm-bell 6: I was thinking how to smooth over his upset, when he said What? So now you’re not talking to me just because I raised my voice to you?

 

Alarm-bell 7: I’d been making pleasant conversation and asking him about his job, his interests, his likes and dislikes etc. I made a mental note that he had not asked me anything. Then he abruptly remarked on the new iPhone. He said he wanted the one in rose-gold. I murmured Isn’t that expensive? He replied Not for you.

 

Luckily, then our first courses arrived

All that before the first courses arrived? Yikes!

[+ Just966]

Yes @The_Impeccable_G but without giving anything away to identify the young man

 

To put it in context, I should mention I have one Golden Rule about first dates. It‘s my view that everyone presents the best version of himself on a first date. So if the man is rude or insulting (especially to the wait staff) or behaves badly or something seems not quite right/feels ‘off’ or if there’s some discrepancy with what I was told earlier, there is no second date. That’s s my Golden Rule.

 

He was working full-time and living in London. He was my type: early 20s, university-educated, decent looks, athletic body; very compatible with my being a top only; and he was keen to meet an older man. I suggested drinks but he countered with dinner so we could get to know each other better.

 

Alarm-bell 1: He asked where I was taking him to dinner. He approved my choice of a fashionable restaurant and I booked at the time he stipulated.

 

Alarm-bell 2: I arrived 5 minutes early but he was already there. He told me he’d expected me to be there to greet him; I smiled and gently pointed out I was early. He countered with he’d been waiting for 10 minutes.

 

Alarm-bell 3: I suggested a glass of wine. He said No, let’s have a bottle.

 

Alarm-bell 4: He was dismissive to the nice waiter…and a little later, snapped at him.

 

Alarm-bell 5: He happened to spill some wine on his shirt. When I suggested he dab some water on the stain, he snapped at me You think I don’t know how to do laundry?! Apparently it was a new shirt he’d bought to impress me.

 

Alarm-bell 6: I was thinking how to smooth over his upset, when he said What? So now you’re not talking to me just because I raised my voice to you?

 

Alarm-bell 7: I’d been making pleasant conversation and asking him about his job, his interests, his likes and dislikes etc. I made a mental note that he had not asked me anything. Then he abruptly remarked on the new iPhone. He said he wanted the one in rose-gold. I murmured Isn’t that expensive? He replied Not for you.

 

Luckily, then our first courses arrived

And assume 1st and last date!!?

[guru68]

Yes @The_Impeccable_G but without giving anything away to identify the young man

 

To put it in context, I should mention I have one Golden Rule about first dates. It‘s my view that everyone presents the best version of himself on a first date. So if the man is rude or insulting (especially to the wait staff) or behaves badly or something seems not quite right/feels ‘off’ or if there’s some discrepancy with what I was told earlier, there is no second date. That’s s my Golden Rule.

 

He was working full-time and living in London. He was my type: early 20s, university-educated, decent looks, athletic body; very compatible with my being a top only; and he was keen to meet an older man. I suggested drinks but he countered with dinner so we could get to know each other better.

 

Alarm-bell 1: He asked where I was taking him to dinner. He approved my choice of a fashionable restaurant and I booked at the time he stipulated.

 

Alarm-bell 2: I arrived 5 minutes early but he was already there. He told me he’d expected me to be there to greet him; I smiled and gently pointed out I was early. He countered with he’d been waiting for 10 minutes.

 

Alarm-bell 3: I suggested a glass of wine. He said No, let’s have a bottle.

 

Alarm-bell 4: He was dismissive to the nice waiter…and a little later, snapped at him.

 

Alarm-bell 5: He happened to spill some wine on his shirt. When I suggested he dab some water on the stain, he snapped at me You think I don’t know how to do laundry?! Apparently it was a new shirt he’d bought to impress me.

 

Alarm-bell 6: I was thinking how to smooth over his upset, when he said What? So now you’re not talking to me just because I raised my voice to you?

 

Alarm-bell 7: I’d been making pleasant conversation and asking him about his job, his interests, his likes and dislikes etc. I made a mental note that he had not asked me anything. Then he abruptly remarked on the new iPhone. He said he wanted the one in rose-gold. I murmured Isn’t that expensive? He replied Not for you.

 

Luckily, then our first courses arrived

 

Wow, that's some serious entitlement there! I can't fault your view, though. I suppose it was possible that he was having an absolutely horrific day, but your descriptions don't suggest that. All of the alarm bells are good, but #4 stands out to me. I put a lot of stock in the way that someone treats service people as a reflection of their character.

 

Of course, all of this would make more sense to me if the guy were particularly attractive. It doesn't sound like he was, and London certainly isn't a small pond.

 

So, all I can conclude is that he was quite the entitled jackass - I hope he didn't cost you too much.

[+ FrankR]

 

 

So, all I can conclude is that he was quite the entitled jackass - I hope he didn't cost you too much.

Jackasses everywhere are troubled by your vicious insinuation! ? ?

[guru68]

Jackasses everywhere are troubled by your vicious insinuation! ? ?

 

Hopefully the guy didn't shit on the floor, but the way that date was going ...

[Bucky]

I'm enjoying the entertainment value re: the salacious story of Florida congressman Matt Gaetz and his inevitable demise. ONE of the interesting drips is his alleged involvement recruiting young women from SA, now getting free publicity from the NYT. Sadly, underage girls are also part of this tangled web. (btw, if you can imagine an "average" membership fee, the revenue this site is raking in is astounding!)

 

One of the sites the men met women through was called Seeking Arrangement, which describes itself as a place where wealthy people find attractive companions and pamper them “with fine dinners, exotic trips and allowances.” The site’s founder has said it has 20 million members worldwide. The F.B.I. mentioned the website in a conversation with at least one potential witness, according to a person familiar with the conversation.

 

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/01/us/politics/matt-gaetz-justice-department.html

Edited April 2, 2021 by Bucky

[Kcdave]

I would imagine these guys on SA know the marketplace. If they are in it for NSA or fun, i presume they will have a dollar figure in mind. Most would probably be similar to escorts in the local area or higher (i would expect). If you look at the local rentmen ads, what are the guys charging there?

 

For the guys in option 2, what happened? Did they take up your offer? I’m not sure i would offer anything for someone that had “nothing special”...

I’ve had a few good emails with a couple guys who are local. If I have a first meeting at coffee shop or a bar. Would a normal honorarium fee be about $200 to $300 for a couple hours at a hotel?

[cany10011]

I’ve had a few good emails with a couple guys who are local. If I have a first meeting at coffee shop or a bar. Would a normal honorarium fee be about $200 to $300 for a couple hours at a hotel?

Great question. I don’t know. I would direct the question to the guy you are planning to spend time with.

[MscleLovr]

You're right @Kcdave to have the initial meeting somewhere public and where you can chat easily. My own experience is that coffee shops are better than bars. You want to be able to exit readily, aka cut it short, if the guy isn’t your type or you just don’t relate well together.

 

I wouldn’t offer a “normal honorarium”…and I hope you wouldn’t say that unless you were dating a classics student. I feel it’s better to ask the young man how you can help him. You may be pleasantly surprised when you find out what he’s looking for.

[BonVivant]

You're right @Kcdave to have the initial meeting somewhere public and where you can chat easily. My own experience is that coffee shops are better than bars. You want to be able to exit readily, aka cut it short, if the guy isn’t your type or you just don’t relate well together.

 

I wouldn’t offer a “normal honorarium”…and I hope you wouldn’t say that unless you were dating a classics student. I feel it’s better to ask the young man how you can help him. You may be pleasantly surprised when you find out what he’s looking for.

 

I’d also think of some place you can chat without curious eyes and ears looking on. People can get quite curious when they see a Thanksgiving/Easter pair meeting and chatting. Especially when you can’t pass as biologically related. They especially are nosy about what’s going on when they see beautiful/handsome young men with me!!! ????‍♂️???

[+ FrankR]

I’d also think of some place you can chat without curious eyes and ears looking on. People can get quite curious when they see a Thanksgiving/Easter pair meeting and chatting. Especially when you can’t pass as biologically related. They especially are nosy about what’s going on when they see beautiful/handsome young men with me!!! ????‍♂️???

There is a absolutely nothing wrong with an “uncle” meeting with his “nephew”! ?

[BonVivant]

There is a absolutely nothing wrong with an “uncle” meeting with his “nephew”! ?

 

Tee hee. Well maybe I could pass as their Older Cousin!! ? Seriously though, sometimes the Comp package comes up and it’s just easier to have an honest convo if people are not judging the whole thing. Seriously - contemporary society is not at all understanding. They seriously disapprove. They tend to be horrified. Especially me cause I’m a POC who loves my beautiful/handsome Caucasian young men. (College fantasies at play).

[MikeBiDude]

Tee hee. Well maybe I could pass as their Older Cousin!! ? Seriously though, sometimes the Comp package comes up and it’s just easier to have an honest convo if people are not judging the whole thing. Seriously - contemporary society is not at all understanding. They seriously disapprove. They tend to be horrified. Especially me cause I’m a POC who loves my beautiful/handsome Caucasian young men. (College fantasies at play).

Don’t overthink it. THEY are not watching you.

[fedssocr1]

and you're not doing anything wrong anyway. Coffeeshop is a good idea. Or one of the guys I was seeing regularly would just meet me in the little park across the street from my building and we'd sit on a bench there to chat

[Studsearcher]

First meets have always been a crap shoot for me. One time the guy kept saying he wanted a good steak dinner so I made reservations at a nice restaurant and he showed up in a tshirt and ripped jeans. Another guy gave himself a preemptive ‘out’ via text before we met, which I am completely fine with. Unfortunately for him I was the one not interested and I insisted he not change his other plans after we had our drinks.

 

My approach has been evolving, and I rarely compensate for the initial meeting, I only pay for the dinner/drinks. Coffee shops tend to be too close of quarters for my taste so I’ll go for a bar that won’t be busy or a restaurant that I know offers some privacy, and I stay away from the gayborhood. If I’m traveling I make them suggest a place. I’ve hooked up on the first meeting just once. We never discussed compensation and the next morning he gave me a list of all of his bills so I could choose which ones to pay!

 

If we’re a match I’ll work out the details later via text. If we’re not a match I lie and tell them I realized that paying isn’t my thing. That hasn’t seemed to offend anyone as it saves them a rejection that might be based on appearance, and we’ve always parted on good terms.

 

Another thing I have to share is that my last regular was very attractive and fun to hang out with but he was such a dud in the bedroom that I finally had to let him go. I don’t think it was as simple as him not being attracted to me either because he told me about a guy he was casually dating who would get mad at him when they were fooling around. It’s just so odd to think that there are some really hot guys who are duds in the bedroom!

[MscleLovr]

It’s just so odd to think that there are some really hot guys who are duds in the bedroom!

 

Not so odd @Studsearcher - bedroom skills have to be learned.

 

I had a similar experience on an ordinary first date when I was in my late 20s; he was 2 years younger and had a very fit body. After an enjoyable evening, we went to bed. His body was even better than I thought. He was wonderfully muscled and he just lay there. It was like making love to a marvelous marble statue…but I don’t enjoy topping a statue. A sexy friend of mine (the same age as him) was interested and they had a date the next week. When my friend confided that in bed he had the same result, I was so relieved.

 

Further on ”adult education”, when I was in my 40s I had a good date with a 25 year old hot-bodied working guy. He had a bubble butt that I readily enjoyed, but his cocksucking was basic. I didn’t see him again until about 4-5 years later: his physique was even better, he still enjoyed being a bottom…but his oral skills were off the chart! He worshipped my cock: he kissed it, licked all of it and my balls and he sucked me off slowly and lovingly. I could only conclude that in the intervening years he had sucked LOTS of cocks and become much more skilled.

[Kcdave]

Seeking my first encounter off of the website. I’ve had a lot of good email chat but have not pulled the trigger. I guess my concern is just getting too much personal information between myself and the person I am befriending.

more concerned about my privacy if it does not work from the standpoint of any retribution from the guy on seeking.

Edited May 7, 2021 by Kcdave

[marylander1940]

Tee hee. Well maybe I could pass as their Older Cousin!! ? Seriously though, sometimes the Comp package comes up and it’s just easier to have an honest convo if people are not judging the whole thing. Seriously - contemporary society is not at all understanding. They seriously disapprove. They tend to be horrified. Especially me cause I’m a POC who loves my beautiful/handsome Caucasian young men. (College fantasies at play).

 

Why would they be horrified about 2 guys of different age seated together. Have you watched all the commercials lately about multiracial families?

 

I had to google POC. If you go to some colleges now whites are not as prevalent as before.

[caliguy]

I’d also think of some place you can chat without curious eyes and ears looking on. People can get quite curious when they see a Thanksgiving/Easter pair meeting and chatting. Especially when you can’t pass as biologically related. They especially are nosy about what’s going on when they see beautiful/handsome young men with me!!! ????‍♂???

Just strut your stuff like CK.

http://malecelebnews.com/wp-content/images/2012/08/Calvin-Klein-ex-boyfriend-Nick-Gruber-writing-a-book-04.jpg

Here's his new Husband.