Escorts Not Listing Their Rates

[+ glennnn]

... Agreed and, for me, it sets an adversarial tone that's the exact opposite of what I want. To carry it to the logical extreme, I'd boil it down to asking "How much affection and interpersonal chemistry can I get for 50 bucks less?"

 

Absolutely! Perfectly stated

[+ honcho]

Even places that list rates: like car repair shops, how often do you end up paying that rate? You go in for a $39.95 lube and oil, and end up walking out paying $1,256.75 for new shocks, struts, brakes, and a tune up. Why? Because they didn't know what the fuck they were getting into before you bought the car in.

 

Yes *But*, ...

 

Whenever I've had car repairs go over an initial estimate, they've always called and gotten a go ahead prior

to doing the work.

 

Although we're not supposed to link exchanging $$ for certain kinds of activities, one might imagine

providers who have "A la carte" pricing, and not disclosing it to the client ahead of time would be unfair.

[JuniorNYC]

I thought about this and came up with a theory. In every city, many escorts socialize with one another, many of whom go out and are socialites within nightlife. I live in NYC, and from my perspective I think many of the guys who put "Ask me" are more part of "the scene" - meaning they go out more, have (or perceive themselves as having) a public persona to protect - public opinion. Gay men can also be judgmental to with one another; so I think this is a way to prevent other people from judgingly saying, "oh, he's only worth ____" - or - "oh, he thinks he's worth ____." There's also the potential desire for income privacy, especially when many of the other escorts (who don't disclose their rates online) are friends and acquaintances - a similar type of behavior one has with colleagues in different fields of work. It's socially unacceptable to ask or disclose your income in social settings - perhaps this is no different.

[+ Truereview]

I thought about this and came up with a theory. In every city, many escorts socialize with one another, many of whom go out and are socialites within nightlife. I live in NYC, and from my perspective I think many of the guys who put "Ask me" are more part of "the scene" - meaning they go out more, have (or perceive themselves as having) a public persona to protect - public opinion. Gay men can also be judgmental to with one another; so I think this is a way to prevent other people from judgingly saying, "oh, he's only worth ____" - or - "oh, he thinks he's worth ____." There's also the potential desire for income privacy, especially when many of the other escorts (who don't disclose their rates online) are friends and acquaintances - a similar type of behavior one has with colleagues in different fields of work. It's socially unacceptable to ask or disclose your income in social settings - perhaps this is no different.

Thanks Junior, this is an angle I had not considered, but the theory seems plausible: Escorts choosing to keep rate info from prospects bc of their concern for income privacy, social persona, or judgment from "friends." Seems that only hurts their business model for the sake of social status. I really hope that's not the case...sorta hope the NYC escort community would be more supportive of its own members...lord, I was kinda hoping they were vetting good clients and endorsing

[+ José Soplanucas]

I am really surprised at how we insist on finding ONE explanation for "Ask me". Can't we accept that human behavior is much more complicated than that? Can't we accept that reality is pretty diverse and provide as many motivational sets as circumstances and individuals there are?

Just follow azdr lead. If you see an interesting ad with "Ask me", just ask. We just do not have enough information to interpret what it means beyond that.

[+ Truereview]

I am really surprised at how we insist on finding ONE explanation for "Ask me". Can't we accept that human behavior is much more complicated than that? Can't we accept that reality is pretty diverse and provide as many motivational sets as circumstances and individuals there are?

Just follow azdr lead. If you see an interesting ad with "Ask me", just ask. We just do not have enough information to interpret what it means beyond that.

Hey, LatB, I totally agree with you that there are many explanations, not just one. At least for me, I'm intrigued by exploring all angles. learning a lot from these perspectives to shape my own.

 

PS- I'm not much of a follower...Although curious about how @azdr0710 looks from behind

[+ quoththeraven]

I'm surprised at how some responses seem so utterly offended by someone not listing their rates. I mean, once again using the lawyer reference...they never list rates until they do a consultation to find out what they're working with.

 

The lawyers have firm hourly rates which might be discounted for not for profit and pro bono clients. What they don't know is how many hours it's likely to take. Strangely enough, it's not always easy to predict! And some charge flat fees for certain types of work.

 

At the end of my legal career, the firm for which I worked charged somewhere between $240 and 275/hr for my time in tenths of an hour increments. (I wasn't keeping track, so I don't remember exactly. ) But it was also willing to write off some or all of that time to keep overall fees reasonable. Usually writeoffs occurred because the person whose client it was asked me to look at the prebills and I suggested the writedowns.

 

There's almost no analogy between the two other than hourly rates and service professions. Before anyone suggests that both involve screwing, may I remind you that the lawyer is under an ethical obligation to represent their client zealously and other than in some (but not all) litigation, screwing over the other party is likely to be counterproductive.

[+ quoththeraven]

I am really surprised at how we insist on finding ONE explanation for "Ask me". Can't we accept that human behavior is much more complicated than that? Can't we accept that reality is pretty diverse and provide as many motivational sets as circumstances and individuals there are?

Just follow azdr lead. If you see an interesting ad with "Ask me", just ask. We just do not have enough information to interpret what it means beyond that.

 

Agree with you up to "just ask." More time and hoops to jump through. I prefer knowing up front. It prevents both of us wasting time.

 

Just as there are probably many reasons for "ask me," including post-Rentboy caution, there are many reasons for client response to it. Some aren't put off by it. Some are. Both reactions are valid for those who have them.

[jimboivyo]

this week's ask me thread

 

we have these all the time. same questions, same answers.

[bigvalboy]

if you're interested and it says "ask me", ask him.....this ain't rocket science, folks!!......yes, the escort may be trying to control the situation with his "ask me" policy, but this isn't some delicate Cold War negotiation with the world teetering on the brink of nuclear annihilation.....if you don't like the offer, politely thank him for his reply and move on!

 

Exactly!!

[mike carey]

Before anyone suggests that both involve screwing, may I remind you that the lawyer is under an ethical obligation to represent their client zealously and other than in some (but not all) litigation, screwing over the other party is likely to be counterproductive.

There are always a few who take advantage of clients. I don't remember the legal matter involved but there was case here in the last few years where a lawyer was dealing with a number of clients in similar cases. Somehow an outsider familiar with the cases (it may have been the media where it ended up, or it may have been someone else) noticed that the lawyer had 250 (or some such number of) billable hours in a week. It turned out that a number of the things he did applied to a number of the cases and he billed each of them for the full time each action took.

[+ quoththeraven]

There are always a few who take advantage of clients. I don't remember the legal matter involved but there was case here in the last few years where a lawyer was dealing with a number of clients in similar cases. Somehow an outsider familiar with the cases (it may have been the media where it ended up, or it may have been someone else) noticed that the lawyer had 250 (or some such number of) billable hours in a week. It turned out that a number of the things he did applied to a number of the cases and he billed each of them for the full time each action took.

 

Every profession, job or career has its share of the ethically-challenged. For lawyers (among others), the downsides if caught are steep.

[down_to_business]

As a client or customer I don't shop where they don't list prices in any business.

[RussJohnson]

As a client or customer I don't shop where they don't list prices in any business.

 

Doesn't the saying go "If you have to ask, you can't afford it."

[RussJohnson]

2 Escorinthians 9:8

And the internet is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

 

[jawjateck]

I'm doing my best to bust the myth that exceptional escorts are rare to near-extinct. I hired 11 newbies this year, 10 of them were credible to excellent bfe's.

[LADoug1]

I prefer that they list the price for the first hour. I've learned that it's ok (I hope) to "ask" about the rate for the second hour.

[jawjateck]

I never hire for one hour, but I look for the number. Guys whose first hour exceeds 300 tend to disappoint in the scenarios that interest me, so it helps to see the number at the beginning.

[MikeyGMin]

I'm doing my best to bust the myth that exceptional escorts are rare to near-extinct. I hired 11 newbies this year, 10 of them were credible to excellent bfe's.

 

You're doing better than me or just have a different idea about what a good BFE is like. I hired four (new to me) guys this year. Two were good and two were duds. That's not a great percentage. Luckily one if them is probably the best I've ever met so I'm ending the year very pleased with the prospects for 2016.

[+ DickyF]

I wonder if the number of escorts is a factor. When I go to NYC where there are 100s of choices I'll probably not bother with the "ask me"s. Too much time involved as well the other factors.

If I were in a town however with only a couple dozen choices then I am more inclined to ask.

[+ glennnn]

I thought about this and came up with a theory. In every city, many escorts socialize with one another, many of whom go out and are socialites within nightlife. I live in NYC, and from my perspective I think many of the guys who put "Ask me" are more part of "the scene" - meaning they go out more, have (or perceive themselves as having) a public persona to protect - public opinion. Gay men can also be judgmental to with one another; so I think this is a way to prevent other people from judgingly saying, "oh, he's only worth ____" - or - "oh, he thinks he's worth ____." There's also the potential desire for income privacy, especially when many of the other escorts (who don't disclose their rates online) are friends and acquaintances - a similar type of behavior one has with colleagues in different fields of work. It's socially unacceptable to ask or disclose your income in social settings - perhaps this is no different.

 

 

You make excellent points.... Things I hadn't considered. On the other hand, consider this.... I find a guy I really want. As he says, I ask him how much and I just can't afford his price (say the $500/hour mentioned elsewhere in this forum). Now what? Do i try to 'bargain' him down (and many escorts here have said they hate when clients do this), claim I'm really buff and hung, deserve a "senior discount" which I don't even use at Denny's, or I admit I'm poor or too cheap or whatever which is a real boner killer and end up bummed out. Hmmmmm.... No I'll just walk on down to the restaurant with the posted menu. Too much hassle.

[+ glennnn]

Again, I accept and defend an escort's right to put anything or nothing in his ad. I reserve my right to enjoy my escort hiring experiences my way and for me the more info the better. It's how I found my wonderful Dane Scott and Nate in LA.

[dcguy20]

I had a very interesting and somewhat frustrating experience with an "ask me" today.

 

A few weeks ago I sent a guy from Atlanta a message asking if he ever visited DC (he's someone I was very interested in meeting). He said he didn't because of obligations where he resides. As I have a few friends there, I thought I would look into taking a trip. Before doing so, I wanted to get some more info from the guy. A few days later I left a voicemail message. He quickly responded with a text saying he was unable to speak at the moment, but would gladly text. I texted back, but he didn't respond until 3.5 hours later after I was already in bed.

 

Today I sent another text to inquire about rate (though I still preferred to speak). He texted a couple of times, but still wouldn't confirm anything. I responded saying that I would prefer to speak. He said he was cool with texting, and turned around and ASKED ME what I think the fee should be! I realized at this point, it was futile, and I was actually beside myself with frustration.

 

I need to speak with the person to get the vibe. I realize someone from the younger generation is so accustomed to texting nowadays. It all seemed so impersonal, and in a way he came off unprofessional. His ad is completely inviting, which is why his conduct was surprising to me. After the brief back and forth, I realized we were not a good fit.

 

My question is, was it really too much to ask the guy to pick up the phone and speak? I'll just bypass ads that say ask me.

[stop]

I've noticed a lot of guys on Rentmen who aren't listing their rates, creating a default "Ask Me". I'm curious to know why escorts would do this, if any of you do, and I'm also curious to know how perspective clients feel about this. Although I understand there are factors that can effect a session rate, like outcall travel, but I dont understand why someone would choose not to list a base rate.

 

Off topic, but great new avatar Lance! very sexy

[+ TylerandAce]

Just read through this interesting thread and have to admit we go back-and-forth about the posting thing. We have a decreasing scale for added time, so I like to explain that to folks. Also, due to our geography, we get fully half of our inquiries from men4rentnow. Somebody correct me if I'm wrong, but they don't allow rates to be listed. I've scoured the site administration as well as other ads and can't find rates anywhere.