Would you rather overweight clients inform you about their expectations before meeting?

[TruHart1]

Well, as we can all see from this thread, opinions vary as to whether a client should leave himself open to being perceived as having low self-esteem about body issues when he first contacts an escort. What I think comes through loud and clear on this thread is:

Weight doesn't bother me. But if there is a limit on what can be done say because of back issues then please give me a heads up.

 

Hugs,

Greg

You said it, baby. Right On...

 

...I believe in treating all my guys like Kings, and enjoy my clients no matter what size, race, religion or creed.

 

Treat others as YOU would like to be treated. It's the only fair and "classy" thing to do of in "ANY" business. .

 

Own what you do as an escort, and be proud of yourself and your clients who helped build YOU to where you are as an escort today based on the joy and

pleasure you've brought into they're lives.

 

It's a great accomplishment, and honor for YOU as the escort to know you bring happiness and self-esteem to your client no matter of there size, looks, or even race.

 

We all need a great guy in our lives who makes us feel special in one way or another from time-to-time to help boost us up in life as we do live in a cruel, and sometimes "fake" society that's based on looks or how much money you have which isn't good for one's self-worth at times.

 

The really excellent escorts do not need a heads up from an overweight client unless it impacts what the client's actual physical limitations might be and then perhaps, a general explanation might be in order.

 

Personally, as an overweight client in my senior years, who used to have an awful lot of issues with my own personal self-esteem until my very first escort (AresApollo in NYC) educated me and put me on the path of a much higher self image, I still never fail to be clear in my initial contact with a new escort that I'm "an overweight and older guy!"

 

That said, the best escorts never seem to have any issue with my weight or my age. I quoted JD Daniels because what he said is the absolute truth. Every time I've been with him, whether in the bedroom or out in public, he has always made me feel as if I am the hottest, most sexually desirable guy he's ever met! So far, in my almost 5 years of hiring escorts, I have found that all the best professional escorts do this, which is why I stay completely addicted to this hobby!!!

 

TruHart1

[corndog]

And what if the client doesn't have a lot of self-confidence?

 

My advice: fake it. If you can manage to pretend that you're self confident, not only will others believe it, you'll start to believe it yourself.

 

There have been studies that have shown that when people smile -- even a fake smile -- they become happier.

[corndog]

Yes, give all information especially when it can possibly affect your expectations.

 

I have a great deal of respect for your point of view, Juan, but in this case I respectfully disagree. In your example, where the extremely heavy guy expected you to carry him around, you're right: that's unrealistic. But the problem isn't that he failed to disclose his weight ahead of time, the problem is that he's expecting the impossible. He should be able to figure out that his expectation is unrealistic without you telling him.

 

However, once a client has made a first impression of low self esteem, it probably can't be undone, and several people here seem to agree with me that self confidence is sexy, and conversely, low self esteem is a turn-off. As long as the client isn't asking for activities that are impossible because of their physical condition, I don't think it's worth it to disclose so much that they risk coming off as a person with self confidence issues.

 

I think that your point about the risk of being rejected at the escort's door is an interesting one, too. Maybe I'm higher than I realize on the self-confidence scale, but if that happened to me, I'd be frustrated and somewhat disgusted by the escort's unprofessionalism, but I think I would blame them for their inappropriate judgementalism rather than take it personally. If an escort wants to refuse clients based on their size, age, race, hair color, etc., I'd rather they put that upfront in their ad. One former forum poster, Marc Dylan, was pretty upfront about the fact that he only wanted physically fit clients. Although it always seem to me disappointing, if he felt he was unable to perform with unattractive clients, I applaud him for being upfront about it.

[calrichmond]

I, Claudius

 

Quintus Justus: Do you know what's going on at the new palace at this moment? The Emperor's wife is competing with a prostitute to see who can wear out the most men. Oh, they've been at it since noon!

http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTQ5Nzc1NzUwMl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNzY2MDU1MjE@._V1_SY317_CR104,0,214,317_AL_.jpg http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsH/tve8260-12-167.gif

 

Crowd: Galla's Hair!

 

Mnester: "The golden hair that Galla wears

Is hers. Who would have thought it?

She swears it's hers, and true she swears

For I know where she bought it!"

 

Messalina: Oh, come, Mnester.

 

Mnester: "You ask me how my farm can pay,

Since little it will bear.

It pays me thus - 'tis far away

And you are never there!"

 

Slave: The woman Scylla! The President of the Guild of Prostitutes!

 

Mnester: Sh! ... Permit me to introduce myself. My name is Mnester. I am an actor. Most people have heard of me.

 

Scylla: My name is Scylla and I'm a whore. Everybody's heard of me.

 

Mnester: Allow me to introduce you to the Lady Messalina. Your challenger, and the Emperor's wife. This is Scylla the Sicilian - and anybody's wife!

 

Scylla: I am honored.

 

Messalina: You are most welcome.

 

Scylla: They said you were beautiful, but their praise did you small justice.

 

Messalina: You are most generous. And it was sporting of you to accept the challenge.

 

Scylla: Sporting? I see. There's no money in it?

 

Mnester: You're here for the honor and to defend your reputation.

 

Scylla: Would you defend yours for nothing, Greek? Lady, I'm a professional; I work for money. The honor I gladly leave to you.

 

Mnester: What impudence! She expects to be paid, and in this company!

 

Scylla: The difference between you and me, actor, is you're a snob and I'm not. And the difference between this great lady and myself is that my work is her hobby. My hobby happens to be gardening, for which I don't expect to be paid.

 

Messalina: You shall have your money. Shall we say...?

 

Scylla: Five?

 

Messalina: Three gold pieces a head?

 

Scylla: "A head" seems an odd way to describe it. Win or lose, of course? That seems satisfactory.

 

Mnester: Satisfactory? You've never earned so much in a whole year.

 

Scylla: This Greek will drive me to distraction. Nothing I say pleases him.

 

Messalina: Let us begin. Which side of the bed do you prefer? Left or right?

 

Scylla: Lady, give me a support for my back, and "Let the Games begin," as they say!

[calrichmond]

Here's a related problem with disclosure. I was seeing a hot escort years ago (Justin Banks) https://www.google.com/search?q=justin+banks&biw=1000&bih=459&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&sqi=2&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAmoVChMI0p3oyo-RyQIVBJeICh1EbgIg&dpr=1.35#imgrc=XX_S9VZGoSB57M%3A

 

who had a habit of telling me how disgusting and unattractive his clients were. I found it unprofessional to say the least. Although he was incredibly hot and a great bottom, this disturbed me. He charged high rates ($300/hr in early 90s), and I thought he should have more respect for men who supported him. Also, I wondered what nasty things he said about me.

 

To their credit, all other escorts I've hired have never done this. When talking about their career in escorting they only speak of positive encounters and the men they service.

[MiamiLooker]

I bet the doctor felt really bad about this...

 

[+ Truereview]

Two things concern me about this thread:

 

1. One of the clients went from 300 to 400 to 500 lbs in a matter of a few posts! Take heed: Reading these posts can lead to weight gain unless you are reading this on a threadmill!

 

2. On a serious note, I agree with CarlRichmond. I do pause and pay careful attention when I read companion's comments about their client experiences. Yes, I learn from those experiences and it helps me be a better client, but I also gain insight about the escort himself. I've learned a lot about a couple of escorts today.

[Juan Vancouver]

In your example, where the extremely heavy guy expected you to carry him around, you're right: that's unrealistic. But the problem isn't that he failed to disclose his weight ahead of time, the problem is that he's expecting the impossible. He should be able to figure out that his expectation is unrealistic without you telling him.

 

This original post is called "Would you rather overweight clients warn you about their size and expectations before meeting?" It's not called "Are you disgusted with fat people and should people warn you because you think they are gross". In this specific case, for my client, his weight was the reason for which his expectation could not be fulfilled.

 

He was unaware of that. No, he didn't realize his expectation was unrealistic without me telling him. As a matter of fact he had tried many escorts and was disgusted with the whole thing because nobody could give him what he had seen on a porn flick.

 

If you read my post carefully I was having the time of my life. He was a handsome, fun man. This had absolutely nothing to do with me having to be warned about his weight because it's gross, but I would have love to know he wanted to be carried by my cock all over the room. I would have not taken his money had I known in advance.

 

However, once a client has made a first impression of low self esteem, it probably can't be undone, and several people here seem to agree with me that self confidence is sexy, and conversely, low self esteem is a turn-off.

 

I don't need you to lure me with your bravado. The whole point of being with an escort who understands his therapeutic presence in your life is that you can entirely leave the posturing out of the equation. I don't need you to come with airs, I don't need you to exude self confidence and matador style elegance. Just be on time, be clean, be respectful, honour our agreements and be yourself. Believe me, if you do this, you will leave knowing what true self confidence feels like because you will give someone the chance to see you naked, vulnerable and still be appreciated and seen.

 

It's impossible to see, like or appreciate someone trying to put on airs of something he doesn't feel.

 

No need to pep yourself up before a session. No need to steel yourself up. No need to having to charm, lure, or make the escort fall in love... that's our job. Just be yourself. That's all we ask for.

 

I think that your point about the risk of being rejected at the escort's door is an interesting one, too. Maybe I'm higher than I realize on the self-confidence scale, but if that happened to me, I'd be frustrated and somewhat disgusted by the escort's unprofessionalism, but I think I would blame them for their inappropriate judgementalism rather than take it personally.

 

Props to you. I beg you to put yourself in the shoes of all the inexperienced clients who may suffer from crippling self doubt and would be destroyed if not even a hooker will touch them. Having an escort not answering an email is one thing, having an escort closing the door on you or worse, taking your money and treat you like shit would leave a terrible mark.

 

Good on you for having confidence. Not good on you for pushing your own opinion without thinking how this might impact other people.

 

If an escort wants to refuse clients based on their size, age, race, hair color, etc., I'd rather they put that upfront in their ad.

 

Yeah, and I want escorts to be kind and loving and sweet and respectful and I want them to be mindful of their clients' privacy... I want so many things!

 

Most escorts don't.

 

My advise to inexperienced clients when dealing with escorts is not relevant to when they are dealing with the ten best escorts of the world. No advise needed then. My advise is for when they are dealing with all the rest.

 

Do I need my clients to hide their money when I visit? No. Would I advise them to hide it when an escort is visiting? YES! EVERY TIME!

 

Would I want escorts not to steal? Who gives a shit what I want. Some do, some don't. The advise I give is in case you are meeting with the ones that do.

[Guy Fawkes]

My dear Juan, as one of those people that may be one and a half to two times your weight. If he had wanted to be hoisted against the wall, he should have provided the fork lift.

 

http://www.toonpool.com/user/589/files/forklift_love_2017145.jpg

In our case, thank heavens we're both tops! As a famous escort once told me: "Two Tops Can Be Hot!" in such a way that my tongue got hard.

 

Meet me at the door dressed only in a towel and all will be well.

 

 

I was once hired by a guy who weighed possibly two and a half times my weight. He was really handsome and I thought the session was going well. At some point, after adjusting heights and angles, finally I was able to fuck him. As soon as I was inside him, he jerked at my arms frantically demanding that I lifted him with my dick and fucked him against the wall the way he had seen in a porn movie.

[+ purplekow]

Juan, I think you have every right to know anything that you need to know in order to do your job. I believe you have made it very clear here, that, for you, information is part and parcel in the determination as to whether or not you can meet expectations of the clients while maintaining your own standards of excellence. Fat, fine. Lift me with your dick, sorry no can do. Seems clear. Seems straight forward. Seems right thinking and honest.

You were clear in you representation but I am really perplexed at the reception you have had. If a client wanted their body twisted as much as your words were twisted here, you would need to know that beforehand, if only to get ready for the appointment by doing some preparatory stretching exercises and then afterwards to have Aleve and Ben Gay on hand.

 

I am a fatty, baldy, saggy, flabby, horny, funny, sexy man-beast. I do not mind telling an escort that and usually do. I try to paint a reasonably accurate word picture to the escort without actually sending a picture. In negotiations with an escort, as in being in bed with an escort, my tongue is my friend and my biggest ally and since I look better in the dark, I would rather regale with the tongue than reveal the rest of the body in a photo.

 

I have scattered negative thoughts about my body. We all do. Ultimately I will not let my mind interfere with my body's ability to enjoy itself. After all, my mind is in charge almost all the time, the body deserves to be pampered now and again. But I need to be honest with myself, no one is hoisting me up and pounding me into a wall. So there you have it. Bald, flabby, saggy men can have hot, boisterous; cover the ears of the children lest they hear coitus, but many wont be lifted off their feet during such shenanigans without the use of some thick steel wire and a large crane.

 

BTW, Steven, you could have used my name. LOL. My guess is there are a lot of men who have partaken of your services who fall into the category of self aware, less than perfect and loving life. You are lucky to have them and they are lucky to have had you, in a variety of positions in a variety of locations throughout the day and night.

[corndog]

...

Juan, I totally respect and appreciate your opinion. I don't agree with it, but I think it is well thought out and valid. This forum is at its best when we can have a healthy debate and yet disagree. And, by the way, if I could make it to Vancouver, you'd be my first priority.

[Juan Vancouver]

Fat, fine. Lift me with your dick, sorry no can do. Seems clear. Seems straight forward. Seems right thinking and honest.

 

You were clear in you representation but I am really perplexed at the reception you have had. If a client wanted their body twisted as much as your words were twisted here...

 

Hey man,

 

Thank you. Sadly I am more than used to people twisting what I write in the "evil ho witch hunt" McCarthy style. Historically this has happened here anytime any escort veers away from the beloved "I'll do anything to anyone and you can demand everything from me at anytime because that's my job" narrative.

 

I guess it boils down again to: want a robot who will repeat the publicity verbatim and obey you like a slave? do not contact me, you won't like me at all. But if you want a man who will be honest, will respect you and treat you like a human being, I'll be delighted to meet you.

 

You sound fun, by the way. =)

[Brian Kevin]

Would you rather overweight clients warn you about their size and expectations before meeting?

 

I PREFER this. DO NOT ever feel ashamed or like you aren't equal to someone! JUST because they have a 6 pack doesn't make them any better than the next. No disrespect to anyone on the froum, I charge just as much as some of these jocks-- However, my sessions include much more than what they offer I.E. Facial, sugar scrub (spa experience) plus a legit massage from a LMT ...THEN... the fun part. Helps break down walls for some, some just need someone to talk to and have someone listen... HELL EVEN Some just WANT to listen, I love the "can we just talk about you?" question....... like.... Why, sure the fuck we can! *jumping up and down inside* I automatically talk about NoLa and Las Vegas.

[mike carey]

Juan, thanks for continuing to post despite some negativity. I can see why some clients might think escorts like more info rather than less so they can filter potential clients that they don't find attractive or that don't fit their hirer characteristics, but I doubt many would do so. And when an escort says he doesn't do that I believe him, unless I have firm evidence to the contrary.

 

The examples you cite about how client information enables you to determine whether you are a match, and if so how it enables you to tailor the meeting make perfect sense to me. The fact that you are prepared to tell a potential client that you don't think you're a match, or that part of his expectations for the meeting are unrealistic is a sign to me that you take your job seriously.

 

On confidence, I don't go into any meeting with an air of self-confidence, or that I know exactly what I want and will make it happen. I do go in comfortable in my own skin, having a good idea of what I want and being confident that if I am paying my partner he will be able to encourage me, and that despite any hesitation on my part that I will have a good time!

[+ Truereview]

I realize what I'm about to say may be perceived by some forum members as sacrilegious, silly, worthy of criticism, and possibly divisive. I'm ok with it, it's just one opinion vented to get it out my system.

 

For me, escorts should refrain from using specific client stories to make their point. I know it probably adds more validity to their advice, but to me, detail-sharing is a breach of trust and, ultimately, damaging to an escorts' personal brand. I'm often criticized for not hiring outside my trusted circle of companions. Well, this thread is precisely why I choose so carefully. I've yet to find any of my trusted companions on this forum actively talking about their clients. Doesn't mean they aren't (!), but at least, I don't yet see my personal story and fantasies used as forum fodder.

 

To my wonderful, thoughtful, beautiful, trustworthy companions: Thank you for holding me tight to your chest...literally and figuratively. Let's now embrace our 300 pound client and his fantasy, and let's all of us lift him up against that wall. May his fantasy soon become a reality. With utmost respect, TR

[MiamiLooker]

No one hires hoping for a mediocre experience. It seems to me it’s in the client’s best interests to let the escort know of anything that might influence whether the session is going to be mind-blowing or just run-of-the-mill. Some forum client members go so far as to inform the escort that the client is a forum member. Even escorts considered “top-tier” by some don’t always provide top-tier service. This has been posted numerous times in the forum, and usually the client tends to blame himself for having too high of expectations or explains the less than stellar experience as a lack of chemistry between the two. Less than stellar experiences do not usually get reviewed.

[MiamiLooker]

I realize what I'm about to say may be perceived by some forum members as sacrilegious, silly, worthy of criticism, and possibly divisive.

I agree

[+ Truereview]

I agree

Lol! Touché!

[BaronArtz]

 

For me, escorts should refrain from using specific client stories to make their point. I know it probably adds more validity to their advice, but to me, detail-sharing is a breach of trust and, ultimately, damaging to an escorts' personal brand.

 

Truereview, I respect your opinion. Thank you for expressing it. I DO find the client stories interesting and valuable though - provided the identity of the client is not disclosed, of course. I find it makes someone's argument more direct and more honest. It gives an excellent perspective into how somebody handles a potentially difficult situation. I am in favor of it.

Edited November 15, 2015 by BaronArtz

[geminibear]

To my wonderful, thoughtful, beautiful, trustworthy companions: Thank you for holding me tight to your chest...literally and figuratively. Let's now embrace our 300 pound client and his fantasy, and let's all of us lift him up against that wall. May his fantasy soon become a reality. With utmost respect, TR

 

How does your light shine?

seriously listen to the lyrics

 

[bigvalboy]

Laughing my ass off!!...Why do you keep deleting your posts? Yes YOU!!...you know who you are.

[+ Truereview]

Truereview, I respect your opinion. Thank you for expressing it. I DO find the client stories interesting and valuable though - provided the identity of the client is not disclosed, of course. I find it makes someone's argument more direct and more honest. It gives an excellent perspective into how somebody handles a potentially difficult situation. I am in favor of it.

 

Good point,Baron. Like you, I learn from the story-telling, and my intent is not to discourage it. I just worry when the story-telling gets specific enough that it could betray what I hope is a professional, psychological contract with an escort.

 

Again, I share my perspective bc the story-telling is hitting home a li'l too close for my comfort. It is only my humble opinion that specific details are dangerous. Also, some of these posts indicate (to me) that people are taking sides and still holding on to previous threads and grudges. What the hell is that all about? Grow up folks. I would love to see how we could redirect that energy towards a more positive aim - helping us learn and grow with tact and empathy.

 

PS - Geminibear, to me, your handle is so appropriate bc you are a GEM. I must confess I'm crushing on your soul - which is expertly disguised by unrelenting humor and wit...yet you can't help but shine.

Edited November 15, 2015 by Truereview

[Rudynate]

Yes.

 

I recall thinking at the time that as I age, I hope I age as gracefully and with as much self-acceptance as the second client. And I felt sorry for the first client that he put enough expectations on himself that he often felt let down. And I do mean put expectations on himself, not the escort, because it seemed like at some deep level he really wanted to feel like he was much younger than he actually was.

 

Late middle age (or early old age) is an interesting territory to negotiate. You have to be careful not to give in to the pressure to apologize for getting old and to stay out of the way of younger people. But you also have to not delude yourself about the fact, that yes, you really are getting old. "Aging gracefully" cuts two ways. It can mean behaving the way other people think you should be acting at your age, or it can mean being the best you can be, for your age. I was more than 60 years old when I got my first tattoo. I realized I was finally old enough to get tattooed if I felt like it. A youngish straight guy who I am friendly with asked me if I might be having a mid-life crisis. I just smiled, shrugged my shoulders and said, "Could be."

[geminibear]

Late middle age (or early old age) is an interesting territory to negotiate. You have to be careful not to give in to the pressure to apologize for getting old and to stay out of the way of younger people. But you also have to not delude yourself about the fact, that yes, you really are getting old. "Aging gracefully" cuts two ways. It can mean behaving the way other people think you should be acting at your age, or it can mean being the best you can be, for your age. I was more than 60 years old when I got my first tattoo. I realized I was finally old enough to get tattooed if I felt like it. A youngish straight guy who I am friendly with asked me if I might be having a mid-life crisis. I just smiled, shrugged my shoulders and said, "Could be."

Atta boy

[Rudynate]

I have recently started sharing my stats with escorts because I am very tall. Although I don't consider 6'4" to be freakishly unusual, many guys have had a surprised look and comment on my height when they open the door. I usually tell them that I will be shorter when I am on my back and we both laugh, but for some guys the height difference is a real issue. In terms of communicating expectations, it seems only fair to explain what you want when hiring. How else is the escort supposed to know what you are looking for?

 

 

Some also go for really tall men.