So hard to figure out where I want to relocate, any ideas?

[Mocha]

I just turned 28 earlier this month, and it's time for a change. I've been living in Denver for 4 years, and if I could sum up every feeling and emotion...it's just time for a change. This place is centered around family, outdoors, and dog ownership, and there's not enough diversity. The scene here is very small and almost incestial. Everyone knows everyone and have been around twice over. More so, it's hard to meet someone for me. They all want the same type of guy here, and anyone different is seen as fetish or "player" material. They all seem so friendly, but when I look around and see that very few groups at restaraunts have any diversity...it makes sense why it's very rare that I get asked for a simple dinner or movie. Businesswise, Ive been able to see some improvement recently, but many of the clients tend to be from out of town or very temporary, and local regs hire at infrequent intervals. And being that a large amount of 20s, 30s and 40s something "party types" have moved here, people just bullshit, bullshit, bullshit around the clock and half the time sound like they're stoned when they call. I would have a rough ride if I didn't travel every 2-4 weeks for the last 4 years.

 

But now, I'm tired of coming home. Everytime I get back, I start feeling frustrated and depressed...and it's mainly because I'm so miserable here. I am so desperate to leave this place, that I'm considering putting my things in storage, or bringing it to my parents place in Florida...and just traveling the country city by city until I figure something out, because I'm happier traveling than I am dealing with this shit everyday.

 

In the past I've considered Minneapolis (glad I didn't make that choice). But that's what's so hard. I'm Trying to avoid making another wrong move and end up stuck there like I am now. I've also looked in Phoenix, Nashville, DC...can't figure anything out. I even have the opportunity to live in a small town in Wisconsin. I don't want to be in the south. I don't want to be in the middle of a huge city either...though a suburb could be nice. And not like the boring, white bread suburb I live in now. Something like the Glendale of LA or the Arlington of DC.

 

At this point, I'm ready to make the move ANY DAY. I can't go on another hour, another week, another YEAR being so unhappy.

[rvwnsd]

You might want to look at Evanston, Illinois. It is the first suburb (although you don't want to use the "s" word with Evanstonians) north of Chicago. Very diverse, easy to get around without a car, easy to get to Chicago via the 'L' or the commuter train. When I lived there, I rarely used my car on the weekends.

[Epigonos]

Why not consider Portland. It's on the West Coast and weather isn't all that bad. It is a very nice city and is always listed as one of best cities in the U.S. in which to live. Additionally it is an easy flight to Seattle, San Francisco or Los Angeles

[bigvalboy]

My advice would be to move your things to your parents place in Florida, then take your time and travel around a bit until you find a place that feels right. No place is perfect. Every place will have some draw backs, but I believe that it is possible to land somewhere and realize that you are home. Where that is, only you will know...Whatever you do, just go, because life is short, and being some place that makes you unhappy day after day, just isn't worth it....good luck.

[Guest]

It's difficult to give good advice without knowing more about you. A rough idea on your source and amount of income would, of course, be very helpful (it doesn't have to be specific). I can't even imagine living in a place with a climate like Minneapolis--now THAT would make ME really depressed. But maybe you don't mind the cold and can't stand the heat. Is that why you don't like the South, or are there other reasons? You do realize that Arlington is in the South? DC has some pretty extreme weather on both ends: really stuffy and almost unbearable summers, and cold, often snowy winters. Obviously, anywhere near LA, SF, or NYC is going to be very expensive. Portland does, indeed, have mild weather and more reasonable prices...

[Mocha]

Why not consider Portland. It's on the West Coast and weather isn't all that bad. It is a very nice city and is always listed as one of best cities in the U.S. in which to live. Additionally it is an easy flight to Seattle, San Francisco or Los Angeles

 

Personally, I've been to Portland, but very short visit. IMO, I didn't feel business was to my liking (that's the other dilemma to my decision). Also, I imagine Portland and Denver share some similiarties: the isolated western town with a liberal, vibrant...but closed in feel to it. I felt Oregon was too conservative. They also have a "history" of diversity issues of their own. Then again, it would be unfair for me to base a decision on just a weekend there.

 

But maybe you don't mind the cold and can't stand the heat. Is that why you don't like the South, or are there other reasons? You do realize that Arlington is in the South? DC has some pretty extreme weather on both ends: really stuffy and almost unbearable summers, and cold, often snowy winters. Obviously, anywhere near LA, SF, or NYC is going to be very expensive. Portland does, indeed, have mild weather and more reasonable prices...

 

Well, I guess when I say the south....Maybe I sounded contradictory when I said Nashville and NC as both are in the south lol. But those would be the only 2 I'd consider, although after my 2nd and 3rd visit to Raleigh and Charlotte, I started feeling it wasn't for me.

 

Why not the south? Not that I don't "like it", but I don't feel I'm expanding my horizons enough. But, nowadays seems the south is like a wild card. Some areas in the south are more diverse and liberal than places in the north and west. Other areas make me glad to live in Denver (yes, I said it). But I won't do New Orleans, Atlanta or Texas.

[american executive]

Hey Mocha:

 

I propose Philadelphia. It's the 5th largest city in the US. It has four seasons. It is both historical but very modern. It's a city of neighborhoods with many of them expanding and becoming hot spots. I think Philly and Boston vie for some of the best hospitals and universities in the country. The art scene is fantastic. Great music scene and nightlife. Some of the best food in the country. Great sports. Generally a progressive city. Great shopping. The suburbs are great and depending on where you are situated the public transportion is good.

 

As for location for, not many cities can claim the following:

2 hours to NYC

2 1/5 hours to DC

1 hour 45 mins to Baltimore

Just over 2 hours to the mountains; most years snowboarding and skiing are great

Just over 2 hours to the beach; this was a great summer "down the shore"

You can be at the Atlantic City casinos is just over an hour to lose all your money

And then commiserate with the Amish over a shoo-fly pie in about 90 minutes!

[m.yi]

San Diego perhaps? Everyone I know who lives there loves it, and everyone who's been been to SD want to move there. Weather is awesome year-round.

 

Orange County has less diversity and seems too homogeneous; but it's bet. SD and LA.

[+ purplekow]

Philly does have a vibrant gay community so that is a nice option. Have you considered San Diego or Honolulu. Hawaii is expensive but hey its Hawaii. San Diego is away of the hustle and bustle of LA but if you are looking for long weekend or a week there, it is a very easy drive, traffic permitting. And while this may be a bit out of the box, Amsterdam is very diverse with plenty to do and a liberal attitude towards just about everything.

[Mocha]

You might want to look at Evanston, Illinois. It is the first suburb (although you don't want to use the "s" word with Evanstonians) north of Chicago.

 

I've looked into that areas on a previous supposed trip to Chicago last month. I definitely liked what I was seeing to offer throughout the Chicago area. But, forgive me that for some reason, Ive never seen myself living in Chicago. I meet lots of people from there, including my landlord...they all seem nice. It just seems like a place people are moving away from all the time, but then they go back without explanation.

[Mikegaite]

San Diego, Boston, Phoenix, Columbus, Cleveland, Toronto, Montreal. Canada may not be a feasible option but its diversity trumps that of most U.S. cities. I would go for small town Wisconsin as a temporary abode to do something different while you figure out where you want to go. There's also nothing wrong with setting up shop somewhere knowing you might very well be there only a fairly short time.

[american executive]

Hi Mocha:

 

I propose Philadelphia:

5th largest city in the country

Historic but very modern

Great neighborhoods many of which are expanding and becoming trendy

Great art scene, some of the best museums

Great music and entertainment scene

Philly and Boston vie for some of the best hospitals and universities

Great food scene

Great sports

Expanding waterfront

International airport

The suburbs are greats and depending on where you live the public transportation is good

 

And who else can claim:

2 hours to NYC

2 1/2 hours to DC

2 hours to the beaches; this summer we had great beach weather "down the shore"

1 1/2 to Baltimore

2 hours to the mountains; beautiful in the fall and nice for snowboarding and skiing

Just over an hour to Atlantic City where you can lose all your money...

And then just over 90 minutes to the countryside to commiserate with the Amish and eat sho-fly pie!

[+ FreshFluff]

Mocha, I'm really sorry you've had a depressing year. I hope this next year goes better for you.

 

One idea is to move to your parents place in Florida temporarily and then spend a few weeks at each of your top choice locations. That will give you an idea of the kind of clients you might get at each place once the "new kid" aura wears off, without paying double rent. (The challenge will be to find an apartment to sublet short term at a reasonable price.)

[Mocha]

Philly does have a vibrant gay community so that is a nice option. Have you considered San Diego or Honolulu. Hawaii is expensive but hey its Hawaii. Amsterdam is very diverse with plenty to do and a liberal attitude towards just about everything.

 

I'd probably be more for Australia than Hawaii. Then again, never been...but I can't see myself ever living there. I regularly like to drive cross the country...I'd have to get a serious Yacht to live on an island. But immigration would be a current factor in moving overseas unless I can become a foreign exchange student somehow.

 

San Diego I enjoyed it, liked the scenery/weather, etc. I have a King Palm from Oceanside, Ca in my bathroom. I had much better dating luck here in 2 days than the entire 4 years I've lived here. So that's always been on the list. The only thing with SD is I'd have to find an affordable apartment/condo and business needs to be a little better than when I went there...though it wasn't that bad. $500 my first night...but expected more calls. Then again, only stayed 2 days also.

[Mocha]

Mocha, I'm really sorry you've had a depressing year. I hope this next year goes better for you.

 

...once the "new kid" aura wears off, without paying double rent. (The challenge will be to find an apartment to sublet short term at a reasonable price.)

 

Thanks for the condolences. But I will re-iterate, this has actually been a pretty good year (hard to believe we're so far along). Overall, I've done a lot of new things this year and some good opportunities. The depressing part is what's been going on the home front. Everybody wants to make it seem like I'm over-analyzing it, but it's amazing how living in a town you've outgrown can affect you to the core. And I'm just so over it. And I'm getting fed up with myself because how hard can it be to find someplace and just Go? GTFO.

 

That's why I think, if I force myself to be nomadic...eventually I'll get tired and find someplace else, but I can't really do that because it's taxing to my body and mind, and then I have to make sure my live possessions stay in good health. But that involves returning home every 2-3 weeks. Then I have to start all over, pay rent+bills, etc and just becomes a constant cycle.

[AdamSmith]

Well, I guess when I say the south....Maybe I sounded contradictory when I said Nashville and NC as both are in the south lol. But those would be the only 2 I'd consider, although after my 2nd and 3rd visit to Raleigh and Charlotte, I started feeling it wasn't for me.

 

Trust your instincts on this! Raleigh (where I live now) is small and insular, socially. Charlotte is bigger but BORING. Bankers -- and laid-off bankers -- as far as the eye can see. And the "diversity issues" once you drive 30 miles outside any of the metropolitan areas can still be fairly stark.

[Mocha]

Trust your instincts on this! Raleigh (where I live now) is small and insular, socially. Charlotte is bigger but BORING. Bankers -- and laid-off bankers -- as far as the eye can see. And the "diversity issues" once you drive 30 miles outside any of the metropolitan areas can still be fairly stark.

 

Banks are no longer making billions off overdraft fees...just millions. Though, those monthly fees do add up. But otherwise, that's good to know. Couple years ago, I met with the former Ace Banner at a bar in Raleigh, I talked to some of the locals...they didn't seem particularly thrilled and were recommending DC. But...personally I liked it for what it was at the time. But for some reason I just couldn't say, "I want to move here". And what you say explains my feelings of the south. And the southern hospitality/meddling I'm just not into that, and they think I'm stuck up. However, the most nosiest state I've ever been to in my life is eastern SOUTH DAKOTA. Everytime I walked into someplace, They wanted my life story. I had to RUN.

 

But at this point, my patience is wearing down, so I can't be picky. Another weekend gone by, and not a goddamn thing to show for it. A couple of bookmarked free dates that the guys never got around to, as usual. Saturday and Sunday were dead. Friday night was my only good night. Maybe next weekend will be better...but a wasted weekend in Denver is nothing new. I had more fun last week in Madison, WI.

[BSR]

Philadelphia residents can give a more accurate lay of the land, but Philly strikes me as one of the underserved escort markets in the country. It's the 5th largest city and the 7th largest metropolitan area by population, yet a Rentboy search yields only 31 ads. San Diego and Phoenix are the other two big cities that I think are lacking in the number of escorts relative to the city's population. I love Phoenix, but since it sounds like diversity is a big issue for you, Phoenix probably isn't a fit. San Diego has it all -- great weather, beautiful beaches, vibrant urban life, a large and thriving gay population -- but the cost of living reflects all that. Unless you have a good-sized nest egg in hand, moving to an expensive city like San Diego might be too daunting.

[+ Gar1eth]

Mocha, if you think Denver is homogenous-what do you think small town Wisconsin will be like? The two most most metropolitan cities would be Madison and Milwaukee. And in many ways even though Madison is the Capitol it's still on the smaller side. Madison is definitely not as vibrant as say Austin. And if you are going to live in Milwaukee, well I'd just prefer to live in Chicago.

 

Have you ever thought about Indianapolis? I've never lived there. But it seems like a nice city to me.

 

Gman

[Epigonos]

Mocha unfortunately you have so many caveats that it is virtually impossible for us to make valid suggestions. With the possible exceptions of Philadelphia and San Diego you have eliminated all other recommendations.

 

I know nothing about Philadelphia but what I hear from local escorts (L.A. area) San Diego isn't all that great a place to live for resident escorts. I understand that most escorts living in places like San Diego and Palm Springs have to make frequent visits to L.A. in order to survive financially. San Diego is also somewhat isolated as far as direct flight throughout the U.S. are concerned.

 

I would recommend Seattle but the weather suck, it is overcast and it rains for weeks on end. Additionally Seattle is located in the extreme Northwest and cross country flights are a bitch.

[rvwnsd]

...San Diego I enjoyed it, liked the scenery/weather, etc. I have a King Palm from Oceanside, Ca in my bathroom. I had much better dating luck here in 2 days than the entire 4 years I've lived here. So that's always been on the list. The only thing with SD is I'd have to find an affordable apartment/condo and business needs to be a little better than when I went there...though it wasn't that bad. $500 my first night...but expected more calls. Then again, only stayed 2 days also.

 

The weather here is generally beautiful (this winter will be an exception, thanks to El Nino), but San Diego is a pretty small town. I know a couple of escorts who relocated to San Diego and then moved up to LA because business was bad.

[MiamiLooker]

I don’t recall if Florida was off your list or not. If not, I’d suggest West Palm Beach or possibly Wilton Manors. But based on your posts, it seems you’ve not only traveled all over the country, but already lived in several different cities. You haven’t found happiness in any of them. Maybe moving isn’t the answer.

[+ Gar1eth]

 

I would recommend Seattle but the weather suck, it is overcast and it rains for weeks on end. Additionally Seattle is located in the extreme Northwest and cross country flights are a bitch.

 

I don't think it makes sense really for an escort who really wants to travel himself or have clients fly him places to live in Seattle or Portland (although I did bring Tyger to me in Texas once). One thing is cost. The other is distance -it can take some really long flights to get anywhere in Seattle.

 

As for socially, Seattle has a stereotype of being difficult. There is something called the Seattle Freeze. It's seemed a bit true for me. But I have the added problems of not actually living in Seattle (30 miles away), not being good at making friends to begin with, and being older. Mocha being young and handsome would most likely have an easier time of it than many.

 

But if you want to read about the Freeze. Here's a Wikipedia entry on it.

 

 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seattle_Freeze

 

Gman

[seattlebottom]

Why not consider Portland. It's on the West Coast and weather isn't all that bad. It is a very nice city and is always listed as one of best cities in the U.S. in which to live. Additionally it is an easy flight to Seattle, San Francisco or Los Angeles

 

Also Vancouver, BC and Las Vegas.

[+ Charlie]

So much to respond to in this thread. First, Philly is a wonderful city to live in (reading american executive's description makes me homesick), but there is a reason there are so few escorts: it is close enough to NYC and DC that local clients often go there instead to hire, or escorts go to Philly from those cities to satisfy the locals' needs.

 

You are trying to combine two motivations--business success and personal satisfaction--which in many cases may cancel one another out. A place that is comfortable and interesting to live in may not provide good opportunities to make money as an escort; I have heard lots of feedback from escorts who are frustrated by places like Portland, which I think is very livable, about the difficulty of making a living there as an escort. Clients often live in cities that are NOT comfortable for them, which is why they hire escorts, or travel to other places where they would never live--usually huge, expensive cities with lots of tourists--in order to hire escorts whom they wouldn't hire at home.

 

Smaller cities do seem nicer, but you will always run into the diversity issue. You will find the most diversity in smaller cities with very big universities, but academics generally don't spend a lot of money on escorts. Otherwise, you will still find the most diversity in huge agglomerations like New York and Los Angeles, which you seem to have ruled out. You will also find the most clients there, but you will also spend the most money to live there.

 

When I was your age (oh, so long ago!), I felt the same impetus to go somewhere new, have more experiences, before descending into the rut of middle age. I satisfied it by obsessively saving money and then moving somewhere totally different (London) for only one year, during which I indulged my emotional needs at the expense of my practical career moves, and then went back to putting business first. I don't know whether that kind of solution is doable or desirable for you, but it might be one solution to your current problem.

 

Finally, an admission: no matter where I have lived and no matter how much there is to like about it, I have always found myself fantasizing about living somewhere else that is better in some way, because unless you have enough money to live in multiple places, you will never be totally satisfied anywhere. That may be one explanation why you are happiest when traveling.