Do you give a shit if the person you're hiring is a drug user?

[Mocha]

I know this is ask an escort....but I figure it would be what makes a good encounter with one. It's kinda late and maybe I need to go to Bed, but for the past few weeks I just can't get my mind off of something. One person mentioned this in another thread:

 

Meth has the escort/client dynamic messed up, I avoid new York unless hired for an overnight or weekend. NYZ (ombieland)

 

I say this because I had met a guy, and began seeing him regularly. I'm an escort, He Is an erotic masseur. For label purposes only I guess, he and lord knows what else. But anyhow, he was quite conspicuous with me about being a meth and hash user. At the time, I didn't mind. However, when getting to know him...it began showing he was always overly eager and obsessed with getting clients round the clock. Every minute he was on his phone, checking emails, even initiating contact with clients. He'd sporadically break plans with me on the premises of "massage clients calling".

 

I thought he really needed to make ends meet...but then when I noticed a pattern, I decided to research meth. And everything came together. He randomly disappears and reappears, claims Tina makes him "horny", and just has been sketchy from day 1. I finally found the strength to drop his ass because he was too inconsistent. One week he was a user, next week he wasn't. Rinse and repeat.

 

For some reason, I feel irritated by the whole thing. He advertises and claims this stable, professional masseur....but yet he's tweaked out of his mind half the time. Am I being judgemental? A little bit. Because I don't feel like it's real. And plus, I think of the implications that could occur with someone being a user, if things were to ever get judicial.

 

Which drugs matter to you? I will say, I don't consider alcohol, Dick pills, or weed as the "drugs" in question...as non will land a felony charge if caught. The other stuff, it's just fucking stupid to have around.

 

I'm kind of at a point where I'm so fed up with drug use in the gay community as it is. It's become so common that whenever a group of gays get together, there's some hardcore drug use going on. And for someone who has witnessed lives lost, I can't stand it around me. It just makes me not want to be a part of an entire subculture.

[+ Gar1eth]

I know this is ask an escort....but I figure it would be what makes a good encounter with one. It's kinda late and maybe I need to go to Bed, but for the past few weeks I just can't get my mind off of something. One person mentioned this in another thread:

 

 

 

I say this because I had met a guy, and began seeing him regularly. I'm an escort, He Is an erotic masseur. For label purposes only I guess, he and lord knows what else. But anyhow, he was quite conspicuous with me about being a meth and hash user. At the time, I didn't mind. However, when getting to know him...it began showing he was always overly eager and obsessed with getting clients round the clock. Every minute he was on his phone, checking emails, even initiating contact with clients. He'd sporadically break plans with me on the premises of "massage clients calling".

 

I thought he really needed to make ends meet...but then when I noticed a pattern, I decided to research meth. And everything came together. He randomly disappears and reappears, claims Tina makes him "horny", and just has been sketchy from day 1. I finally found the strength to drop his ass because he was too inconsistent. One week he was a user, next week he wasn't. Rinse and repeat.

 

For some reason, I feel irritated by the whole thing. He advertises and claims this stable, professional masseur....but yet he's tweaked out of his mind half the time. Am I being judgemental? A little bit. Because I don't feel like it's real. And plus, I think of the implications that could occur with someone being a user, if things were to ever get judicial.

 

Which drugs matter to you? I will say, I don't consider alcohol, Dick pills, or weed as the "drugs" in question...as non will land a felony charge if caught. The other stuff, it's just fucking stupid to have around.

 

 

I would prefer guys I meet whether escorts or not not use 'street' drugs. But I may be a hypocrite because I am a social drinker, and I don't mind that. I mean I have only had marijuana twice in my life-once when I was 16 and once when I was 28. Have I met guys who use drugs? Yes, and if it's more than marijuana, it makes me nervous. And if it's marijuana, I prefer they don't because I don't like the smell.

 

Gman

[+ WilliamM]

m kind of at a point where I'm so fed up with drug use in the gay community as it is. It's become so common that whenever a group of gays get together, there's some hardcore drug use going on. And for someone who has witnessed lives lost, I can't stand it around me. It just makes me not want to be a part of an entire subculture.

 

My experience has not been as extreme. The escort I hired the longest (3 yrs) did have a meth prblems, which caused disappearances for periods of time & being in another time zone entirely for some appointments. Talking to him helped, me probably far more than him. He did eventually change his life . He and his husband are doing well, but it was far from easy.

[BaronArtz]

Yes it matters! When I moved to NY, early 1990s, I befriended a guy who was a stripper at 'Show Palace'. We had a great rapport and he did end up moving in with me. Gradually, cash in my wallet started disappearing and so did certain household objects, such as the television set. He was a crack addict. I was young, naïve, didn't know what that was and didn't have any other gay friends to discuss this with. I tried to help him, but couldn't. A charming guy when he was 'sober' but absolute hell when he was using. It took me almost a year to get him out of my house. Never again.

[+ poolboy48220]

nowhere near the more serious drugs being discussed here, but I recently hired a guy who was absolutely gorgeous but totally uninvolved in the scene. it was a last-minute appointment, and he mentioned he'd been getting high when I called. I suspect that's why he was so passive during our time. No plans to hire him again.

[dcguy20]

It makes a huge difference to me. I would definitely not hire someone that I knew was using drugs.

[+ Topseed]

I avoid meth users always. I've had to cut loose a couple very fun fuck buddies because their behavior was so scattered. Tragic that it's an epidemic in the gay community.

[Keenan]

Let's turn this question around some. If an escort is hired by a drug user would you continue to hold the session. Yes you are getting paid by the client so do you have an obligation to follow through if you find this out or do can you cancel the appointment?

 

Keenan

[corndog]

I aspire to be non-judgemental, and therefore there is part of me that says it isn't any of my business. However, in practice, it is my business because drug use effects their performance, reliability and trustworthiness. I'm ok with someone who drinks (which I do also), or smokes pot, but, like gman, I don't like the smell of pot, so I would prefer that they didn't.

[Kenny]

"User" is a euphemism. Your ex-friend is an addict. I hope he gets help. Addiction is self-destructive -- no judgment involved.

[bigvalboy]

"User" is a euphemism. Your ex-friend is an addict. I hope he gets help. Addiction is self-destructive -- no judgment involved.

 

Exactly...

[rvwnsd]

"User" is a euphemism. Your ex-friend is an addict. I hope he gets help. Addiction is self-destructive -- no judgment involved.

 

Exactly...

 

No, not exactly. A person can be an addict and be in recovery and sober. When that person is sober, that person is not using the substance to which they are addicted. When they are not using the substance, then they are not a "user," but they are still an "addict."

 

In answer to Mocha's original question, it matters to me for all the same reasons it matters to him.

 

Excellent post, Mocha. Thank you for taking the time to thoroughly explain your concerns.

[bigvalboy]

No, not exactly. A person can be an addict and be in recovery and sober. When that person is sober, that person is not using the substance to which they are addicted. When they are not using the substance, then they are not a "user," but they are still an "addict."

 

he was quite conspicuous with me about being a meth and hash user. At the time, I didn't mind. However, when getting to know him...it began showing he was always overly eager and obsessed with getting clients round the clock. Every minute he was on his phone, checking emails, even initiating contact with clients. He'd sporadically break plans with me on the premises of "massage clients calling".

but then when I noticed a pattern, I decided to research meth. And everything came together. He randomly disappears and reappears, claims Tina makes him "horny", and just has been sketchy from day 1. I finally found the strength to drop his ass because he was too inconsistent. One week he was a user, next week he wasn't. Rinse and repeat.

 

For some reason, I feel irritated by the whole thing. He advertises and claims this stable, professional masseur....but yet he's tweaked out of his mind half the time. Am I being judgemental? A little bit. Because I don't feel like it's real. And plus, I think of the implications that could occur with someone being a user, if things were to ever get judicial.

 

Which drugs matter to you? I will say, I don't consider alcohol, Dick pills, or weed as the "drugs" in question...as non will land a felony charge if caught. The other stuff, it's just fucking stupid to have around.

 

I'm kind of at a point where I'm so fed up with drug use in the gay community as it is. It's become so common that whenever a group of gays get together, there's some hardcore drug use going on. And for someone who has witnessed lives lost, I can't stand it around me. It just makes me not want to be a part of an entire subculture.

 

I was referring to Mocha's friend specifically, not about drug use and recovery in general. In this instance, his friend is an addict. Mocha says he is a Meth and Hash "user"....so his friend is an active addict, and he needs help. Nowhere in his post does Mocha indicate his friend is in recovery.

 

Feel free to read something else into his post, but that's what I see...

[Kenny]

No, not exactly. A person can be an addict and be in recovery and sober. When that person is sober, that person is not using the substance to which they are addicted. When they are not using the substance, then they are not a "user," but they are still an "addict."

 

In answer to Mocha's original question, it matters to me for all the same reasons it matters to him.

 

Excellent post, Mocha. Thank you for taking the time to thoroughly explain your concerns.

All true, but it's worth noting that Mocha never once used the word "addict," which is essential to identify. His ex-friend is an addict who is using.

[BaronArtz]

Let's turn this question around some. If an escort is hired by a drug user would you continue to hold the session. Yes you are getting paid by the client so do you have an obligation to follow through if you find this out or do can you cancel the appointment?

 

Keenan

 

You are right. That is a very fair question. My vote (as a client) would be: cancel the appointment.

[body2body]

I have twice hired guys in the last year who arrived at my place after having smoked marijuana. I'm sure they thought they were fine, but they acted like fools. One kept giggling, and asking if I wanted to smoke with him. The second guy said he liked to start with a massage. He would massage my lower back, and then start on my right leg, and then go back to my lower back, and then to my right leg. Then he asked for a glass of water because his mouth was dry. Neither guy was "present" for the session. I now specifically ask that the escort refrain from indulging until after our session. So yes I care.

[+ Gar1eth]

Let's turn this question around some. If an escort is hired by a drug user would you continue to hold the session. Yes you are getting paid by the client so do you have an obligation to follow through if you find this out or do can you cancel the appointment?

 

Keenan

 

 

If drug use matters to the escort, and considering a client on drugs might be dangerous, I would think it should matter, then the escort should ask ahead of time. Then the escort can decide based on what the client tells him. If the client says 'no' but has lied, and the escort discovers it when they meet, I think the escort is within his rights to cancel the appointment.

 

Gman

[Juan Vancouver]

If an escort is hired by a drug user would you continue to hold the session. Yes you are getting paid by the client so do you have an obligation to follow through if you find this out or do can you cancel the appointment?

 

No. You have absolutely no obligation and if you arrive and he is foaming at the mouth with drug paraphernalia all over the place, personally I would leave without expecting to get paid.

 

If you arrived to your call and the client were murdering someone, just because you are being paid doesn't mean you have to stay in "spend time with him" while he kills his victim.

 

But the same applies if I get there and the client is really drunk, mean, or rude, or dirty, or has company, etc.

 

Now if I get there and my client is a little buzzed but functioning well, I have absolutely no problem staying and long as he stops whatever he is taking, and strict precautions are taken to prevent me from being exposed to whatever he is doing.

[OneFinger]

I've had jobs that required a fairly high level security clearance and drugs would have cost me my job. I'm currently in an industry where routine drug testing via a mouth swab is administered. Everyone gets the swab every 4-6 weeks. I avoid all escorts or contacts where there is any suspicion of drug use.

 

I actually had one experience, several years ago, when the escort slipped something into my drink. One of the worst experiences of my life.

[Aiden McGraw]

I would prefer guys I meet whether escorts or not not use 'street' drugs. But I may be a hypocrite because I am a social drinker, and I don't mind that. I mean I have only had marijuana twice in my life-once when I was 16 and once when I was 28. Have I met guys who use drugs? Yes, and if it's more than marijuana, it makes me nervous. And if it's marijuana, I prefer they don't because I don't like the smell.

 

Gman

I've had jobs that required a fairly high level security clearance and drugs would have cost me my job. I'm currently in an industry where routine drug testing via a mouth swab is administered. Everyone gets the swab every 4-6 weeks. I avoid all escorts or contacts where there is any suspicion of drug use.

 

I actually had one experience, several years ago, when the escort slipped something into my drink. One of the worst experiences of my life.

I've had jobs that required a fairly high level security clearance and drugs would have cost me my job. I'm currently in an industry where routine drug testing via a mouth swab is administered. Everyone gets the swab every 4-6 weeks. I avoid all escorts or contacts where there is any suspicion of drug use.

 

I actually had one experience, several years ago, when the escort slipped something into my drink. One of the worst experiences of my life.

I do care, I don't like to see people that use hard drugs, they are too unpredictable

[+ Keith30309]

My first reaction was "No" but, after thinking about it for a bit it became a little more complicated than it first seemed.

 

First - if I'm travelling, or meeting someone who is travelling, and I know I'm likely to only see him one time my concern is limited to safety and performance. Meth is not good for either; I can't think of any drug that improves both so I give a shit only insofar as the experience is negatively affected. A little bit of alcohol or weed or whatever to soothe the nerves (i.e., a sedative) is probably harmless but a "drug user" means that moderation is unlikely and one drink is a slippery slope. If someone is under control then whatever they do away from me is none of my business.

 

For someone who I would like to see more than once - which is my aspiration for anyone I meet at home - I care because as our levels of intimacy deepen and trust develops it's my nature to care about them as a friend and I'd not like a friend to be addicted to drugs. Recreational usage - being able to stop at one - is easy for many but addiction is a bitch and not always obvious. I met a guy regularly for months and didn't figure out he was a hardcore alcoholic until he kicked in a floor lamp in a hotel room during a trip I booked for us. Disengaging emotionally from him was tough and not a roller coaster I care to get back on.

 

So - yes, most of the time I do give a shit.

[+ José Soplanucas]

The original question is not so easy to answer to me. My first though would be no, I would not hired somebody into drugs. But then I remember I have been high many times, on several different substances, and 90% of the times I was a harmless, nice, horny, fun person to hang around. So I think I would answer the original question on a case by case basis.

[gallahadesquire]

I do care, I don't like to see people that use hard drugs, they are too unpredictable

 

Which? The People or the Drugs?

[Lookin]

Depends on whether he brings his own or tries to schnorr some of mine. http://www.boytoy.com/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif

[bigvalboy]

Depends on whether he brings his own or tries to schnorr some of mine. http://www.boytoy.com/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif

 

 

"Don't bogart"