What's Your Earliest "I'm Queer" memory?

[+ Funguy]

i was about 7 years old and at sleep away camp during the summer. in my cabin, we slept in bunk beds and I had a bottom bunk. My camp counselor slept in our cabin in the upper of my bunk so every time he undressed (and he slept in the nude) I had a bulls-eye view of his dick and i immediately had a hard-on. It was quite clear at that point that I had a thing for dicks. I didn't act on it until high school (I was 15) when a friend came to my house and we were fooling around in my bedroom (parents were not home) and I had a roaring hard-on as did he. We rubbed each other til we came and then it was any time we could as long as the parents were not home. Rubbing led to sucking, led to fucking. This went on for 2 years, graduated and never saw the guy again.

[+ Charlie]

The problem is of course that with having graduated high school 36 years ago-I can't remember for sure if I wondered about anyone else. The only one I can remember for sure wondering about, I think, was the flautist. And maybe it was only in retrospect when I thought about them once I was in college.

 

I don't know if it was me being naive or not. I'm sure it is possible others in my high school were more attuned to people being gay than I was. And I was most likely called gay at some point-Texas boy-not into sports and took drama. But I wasn't sure I was gay at the time. (I most likely knew but was too afraid to acknowledge it) I never acted on it at all publicly-never hung around the boy's locker room unless I had to, never really made calf-eyes at any guy (although I did think to myself certain guys were handsome), never hung out around a guy's home hoping to see him.

 

Actions I do remember taking-

 

1. What I do remember is once riding my bike to the park down the street-I might have been in junior high. I saw either a high school or college age guy shooting baskets. He was really cute and muscular. I went back to the park several times hoping he would show up again but he never did.

 

2. There was also a cute guy from school (junior high) whom I didn't really know. He was a year or two older. I noticed him when he ran for Student Council President. I found out by chance he was a stocker at a convenience store that I routinely used to ride my bike to to buy comics. I remember riding my bike around the store occasionally to try to see him. I think I was once rewarded with seeing him in a tank top.

 

3. Oh and the neighbors who lived across the alley from us. The hubby was a Physical Science teacher at the junior high. He used to do yard work in his backyard shirtless occasionally, and I liked to watch.

 

I may have done other things. But I really can't remember much of I did.

 

Of the three guys I mentioned in my last post-two of them I have no idea what happened to. So I don't actually know if they are gay. One I do know is gay due to Facebook now.

 

So thinking of people that I now know to be gay from my (non college) school years there are 11 I know to be gay (actually only 9. There are two that I'm fairly sure of-but I'll get to that).

 

Of these 11-

 

1. Was my best friend whom I didn't know anything about him being gay in high school and college. I began to suspect years after college. (Funny thing-my mother said a couple of years ago she had wondered at some point whether he was gay. But never said a word to me. I'd wonder if she was alerted because of the way I acted. But D and I were very different, so that probably wasn't it. )

 

2. T hasn't said anything to me. We aren't really friends anymore. We were best friends in elementary school. He occasionally posts on Facebook, but hasn't marked that he's interested in men on Facebook or posted rainbows or equality pictures. He's an unmarried actor -his best friend from high school is gay.

 

3. Another guy M we haven't seen each other in years. We were friends as children but not in high school. I found him on FB but he's not very active. He hasn't marked liking men on FB. But as far as I can tell, he's single, has a fairly nice muscular physique when he was on the thin side in high school. He has no pictures that I can identify for sure as being of him and a girlfriend.

 

Also one of the places he indicates on FB that he's been-no pictures-is Provincetown, MA. Now M works for an airline-no he's not a flight attendant. He works in management. I'm sure he gets discount travel.

 

So I guess I could be wrong about him. I mean straight, muscular, single guys can go to Provincetown too-right?

 

Of the remaining 8-in most cases I know from Facebook that they are gay.

 

Of these 9 that I know definitely are gay-two of them know I'm gay. Of these guys, I'm the only one not really out in my life or on Facebook-not unless my recent postings about 'marriage' on Facebook have thrown my closet door wide.

 

So of most of these guys, I don't think I ever considered back in high school that they were gay. I might have wondered years later when reminiscing about them.

 

Funny I'm sure there must have been some lesbians in high school. But who they are, I have no idea. No one of my FB 'friends' as far as I know is openly lesbian*. And I need to make a point. While I've known the majority of my non-related Facebook 'friends' for years-most are not really friends-only people I share somewhat of a similar background with having grown up in the same conservative town.

 

* I forgot. There is one girl from my high school, D. D did a bit of soft core porn after college. Someone told me at either our 10th or 30th high school reunion that her former husband had a sex change -and they had done sex shows/films after his operation. I don't know if that's true or not. I don't know if true whether that means she is a lesbian or bisexual. She might just love her ex.

 

Gman

Seeing this old thread revived caused me to re-read it all, and this post reminded me that since you wrote it five years ago, through the miracle of the Internet I recently happened to find the high school year book of my first partner, who like you went to a public high school in Texas. It was fun to see his photos there, in which he looks so potentially gay to my jaded eyes. I was amused to see that his classmates had voted him "Most Sophisticated" in their senior class of 1958--little did they imagine what that would entail in the remaining 33 years of his life!

[+ purplekow]

i was about 7 years old and at sleep away camp during the summer. in my cabin, we slept in bunk beds and I had a bottom bunk. My camp counselor slept in our cabin in the upper of my bunk so every time he undressed (and he slept in the nude) I had a bulls-eye view of his dick and i immediately had a hard-on. It was quite clear at that point that I had a thing for dicks. I didn't act on it until high school (I was 15) when a friend came to my house and we were fooling around in my bedroom (parents were not home) and I had a roaring hard-on as did he. We rubbed each other til we came and then it was any time we could as long as the parents were not home. Rubbing led to sucking, led to fucking. This went on for 2 years, graduated and never saw the guy again.

Would look him up on line and see what became of the one that disappeared.

My father had a cousin, Frankie was my father's younger cousin about 40 at the time, who was the black sheep of the family, He was a con man and he was in and out of trouble with the law all the time. At one point, he was living in California with a rich older woman who may have been the attorney general of the state (my memory of this is vague as I was about 9 at the time but whoever she was, she was rich and powerful and he was living with her). He was a notoriously bad driver and he had several car accidents so the woman hired a chauffeur for him. Even though he was visiting NYC and did not have a car, the chauffeur came on the trip. My home at the time was about a 5 minute ride from what was then Idlewild Airport, So Frankie and the chauffeur stayed at our home. I slept in an attic bedroom with a pull out couch and Frankie and the chauffeur slept on the pull out. The chauffeur, Jimmy, his name just came back to me, was in his 20s and I remember being very impressed with his Popeye biceps and lean body and a nautical tattoo he had on the left forearm, During their first night, I awoke during the night and heard heavy breathing and in the moonlight from the window I could see some movement on the pull out couch. The heavy breathing stopped with a big sigh and I went back to sleep. The next day I asked Jimmy if he slept alright because I heard him breathing heavy. He said he was better than fine and that in a few years I would know why he was breathing that way. For the next three days I could not take my eyes off of Jimmy but I was not sure why. He was right, a few years later I knew why he was breathing that way but it took me a bit longer to realize why I could not take my eyes off him. I can still vaguely picture him now, crew cut, sandy hair, angular face, tattoo was an anchor, great guns and his pants were very tight, which may have been the style then, I have not thought about this in decades.

Edited April 26, 2020 by purplekow

[thickornotatall]

My parents had many brothers and sisters....I had about 20 cousins and we all lived in the same neighborhood..went to the same school...did most things together..My cousin Harry was about 8 years older than me...A very smart..but wild boy...He bought a motorcycle and menaced us with wild rides...When I rode on the back and put my arms around him I felt a certain something something...I was leaning in a smelling his leather jacket...Our cousin Denny was about mid way in age between us....Harry said "you know Denny is queer"...I thought he meant smart....So on the weekend all the cousins went skiing at Pine Knob In Clarkston MI...and stayed at my Uncle Hanks cabin..I had to share a bed with cousin Harry...Being younger I was put in bed early...When Harry came to bed he pulled my blankets back and laid down next to me...to be continued>>>

[Guest]

Mine would be the realization that I enjoyed seeing men shirtless WAY too much. I thought I was just comparing how I looked vs. them, or that I was just interested in finding a best friend. When I hit puberty and starting 'taking care of things' I use to use my older half brother's Penthouse magazines that had guys in them as well. Then came jerking to pictures of Christopher Atkins in the Blue Lagoon from a magazine. But I knew for sure when I started staring to much at the new kid in math class, his shaggy hair, his blonde furry forearms, his dark happy trail which would poke out when he stretched and his shirt would raise up. Ding, I think that was the moment. I became his friend for awhile and saw him shirtless most of the time especially in the summer but nothing happened as he was very homophobic. But the view was always incredible.

[+ Coolwave35]

AJ hammer used to host a music video countdown show on vh1 in the 90’s and I’d jerk off to him.

[+ azdr0710]

AJ hammer used to host a music video countdown show on vh1 in the 90’s and I’d jerk off to him.

 

here you go, C35!.....it'll be just like old times......

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=du0wCE1YhRA

[thickornotatall]

I had no idea how two men had sex--I thought they probably rubbed against one another while kissing--until my first experience when I was 17, when the guy explained that we were supposed to insert our cocks into each other's assholes. I thought it was a bizarre concept, until I tried it.

WHERE????? o_Oo_Oo_O

[+ E.T.Bass]

Reading the word homosexual in our newspaper connected the last dots. 10th grade? I'm lucky I grew up where i did, otherwise my ignorance would have been extended.

[+ sniper]

Around 10 or 11, reading comic books and gradually realizing that superhero pictures were basically nudes that were colored over. There was an issue of Dazzler that opened with the Angel flying over Manhattan and he have the most wonderful leg and back muscles and ass...

[+ WilliamM]

I remember a Catholic priest calling out singer Johnny Raye at Sunday mass. Only vaguely understand what he was talking about.

 

My reaction: why was a priest so upset? He was Miles Away from being specific. He made a fool of himself. Truly.

[Guest]

I remember a Catholic priest calling out singer Johnny Raye at Sunday mass. Only vaguely understand what he was talking about.

 

My reaction: why was a priest so upset? He was Miles Away from being specific. He made a fool of himself. Truly.

[+ WilliamM]

 

It was 1950s popular singer Johnny Raye. Raye was best man at Judy Garland's last wedding in 1969.

Edited April 26, 2020 by WilliamM

[+ aeikaryoko]

Being in the third grade, I told a good friend he looked cute. Everyone around just laughed said “gay!!” That was 1991.

[KrisParr]

My older brother was quite the jock, and had a decent gym in our basement. His coach would give him Strength and Muscle-type magazines which were always available. I was 12-13 and when no one was around started thumbing through them looking at all the hot men, which eventually led to many hours of masturbatory delight. When I was a freshman in high school, I was too small for the football team, so I was lucky to get to be a team “manager” which meant lugging around all the equipment and uniforms and whatever they wanted. The highlight was always having a front row view of shower time - a whole team of high school footballers showering at once still gets me hard when I think about it. It also led to a very closeted oral-sex relationship with one of the players for several years on into college.

[Guy Fawkes]

Thread Closed. It is against the rules to discuss children; even ourselves.