What if after a session, you felt you deserved more $$$

[Mocha]

Did an appointment recently, where I met with a client where we were discussing setting up time to meet. For the most part, it seemed the session was going to be 1 on 1 for just a couple of hours. However, when I went to meet him at the bar next to the hotel, there was another guy there he'd just met, who unbeknownst to me before arriving, would be joining in on a 3 way. He did ask if I'd be ok with it, I said yes but that I'd need to make sure I'm going to get my cut. I don't think the other guy involved was charging.

 

To address that briefly, and if anyone else has experienced, but I dont know why the idea of someone in a 3 way situation doing my client for free, makes me feel off. I mean, maybe it shouldn't have any bearing on our arrangement, but I almost feel like it throws off my end of the arrangement because how can I demand the amount of money I want, when there's someone else doing equal or more than I am for free? Then there's also me feeling like the guy is selling himself short for not charging....the whole thing just feels awkward. Then again, I don't know what arrangement might of been worked out before I arrived. And many guys out there will GLADLY do stuff for free, even if someone else is charging.

 

Anyway...so after the session, time went by way more than I realized. And also, even though I wasn't forced into doing anything with the other person, I was starting to feel like having a 3rd should have been more. More risk, more effort. But by this time, I'd already left the building. Admittedly I got paid for a little over 2 hours, but I feel I should have asked for another $100-200.

 

I almost thought about reaching out to the client this morning about it, but seems like backtracking. But at the same time, I felt like here was an extra surprise thrown in the mix, and I didn't really have time to assess the actual retail value of the appointment. So I don't know, I'm kinda annoyed by it, but overall I did get paid reasonably. I can think of worse case scenarios in a situation like this.

[corndog]

Two thoughts on this:

 

1. The time to think about this is before the session, when the client asked if you'd be OK with it. That was really your only reasonable opportunity to negotiate an additional fee. It would be great if the client gave you an extra-large tip, but that is completely at their discretion if nothing has been discussed up front.

 

2. Officially, you're being paid for your time only, and what transpires during that time is between consenting adults. You were compensated for your time, as agreed.

 

You aren't doing yourself any favors by being annoyed by it at this point. You've got to just let it go and consider it a learning experience for next time.

 

Finally, you should consider this from the client's point-of-view. It sounds like, after setting up the appointment with you, he met this other guy who was up for a (free) sexual encounter. The client could have gone with the other guy, cancelled your appointment (or no-showed) and gotten satisfaction. Kudos to him for respecting you and not flaking out.

[Guest countryboywny]

1. The time to think about this is before the session, when the client asked if you'd be OK with it. That was really your only reasonable opportunity to negotiate an additional fee. It would be great if the client gave you an extra-large tip, but that is completely at their discretion if nothing has been discussed up front.

 

 

Agreed! Mocha, you should have told your client that a third playmate would entail a higher fee. But then again, the client should have known that and paid you more.

[bigvalboy]

Two thoughts on this:

 

1. The time to think about this is before the session, when the client asked if you'd be OK with it. That was really your only reasonable opportunity to negotiate an additional fee. It would be great if the client gave you an extra-large tip, but that is completely at their discretion if nothing has been discussed up front.

 

2. Officially, you're being paid for your time only, and what transpires during that time is between consenting adults. You were compensated for your time, as agreed.

 

You aren't doing yourself any favors by being annoyed by it at this point. You've got to just let it go and consider it a learning experience for next time.

 

Finally, you should consider this from the client's point-of-view. It sounds like, after setting up the appointment with you, he met this other guy who was up for a (free) sexual encounter. The client could have gone with the other guy, cancelled your appointment (or no-showed) and gotten satisfaction. Kudos to him for respecting you and not flaking out.

 

Wise words from Corndog.

[+ poolboy48220]

I have always been put off by someone renegotiating after the fact, in any aspect of life.

[Edward]

Mocha, you got taken advantage of. But you said it was ok for the third to join. Now you know how clients feel when an escort does not "deliver".

[Irtwo]

It sounds like, after setting up the appointment with you, he met this other guy who was up for a (free) sexual encounter. The client could have gone with the other guy, cancelled your appointment (or no-showed) and gotten satisfaction.

 

Maybe...... or ..... the client only got this other guy's interest on the promise that the client was going to bring along a hot escort. In which case, the client really was taking advantage of Mocha.

[gregkidman]

Mocha, I do empathize with you that this was a curve ball and my impression is that you didn't have time to assess.

 

One thing that was brought up, and I want to emphasize, is that you're compensated for your time between TWO consenting adults. When he brought up the third person, that was the time to withdraw your consent or renegotiate. If I were in your shoes, I would say, 'Oh. This is a surprise. Give me a minute.' giving your client an opportunity to offer 'something' for time with three adults and an opportunity for you to analyse the situation before making decisions.

[Mocha]

Finally, you should consider this from the client's point-of-view. It sounds like, after setting up the appointment with you, he met this other guy who was up for a (free) sexual encounter. The client could have gone with the other guy, cancelled your appointment (or no-showed) and gotten satisfaction. Kudos to him for respecting you and not flaking out.

 

That is true, and part of what would constitute 1 of the alternative endings.

 

Like I say, the amount was decent, but there was a lot of ambivalence on the client's part also, which made it difficult to really pinpoint what and how long the session would be going on for. I did stop and reassess and scope out the client twice (including the initial time) as to how long we'd be looking at. At one point he seemed like he was open to the idea of an overnight, and then switched when the party was over :-(

 

I really don't like to be in scenarios like that. I know for him it was a fantasy he wanted, and that's fine. But he came to me first, 3 days ago. I didn't feel comfortable discussing money with the client in front of the other guy, and there was only 1 brief period that I had time to discuss it.

 

I don't know why I feel ripped off though. I've done similar scenarios for less or around the same. But it was different. I felt the client was being real last minute with me, and even though it wasn't a complete total surprise like me walking up to the room to find a 3rd, I would have preferred to negotiate it before I even met him. I like to know 100% what I'm doing and for how much ahead of time.

 

I'm just going to have to put on my ads like they do for dogs at hotels. The pet fee may be $75, but if you sneak a dog in....it goes up to $250.

[m.yi]

Sorry about what happened Mocha. I feel the client put you on the spot. This is a similar scenario where the escort is not the guy on his profile or posted pics of him from 10 years & a few extra lbs ago. "This is not what I signed up for" kinda thing.

 

If something is that "fishy" - bail and "graciously" leave. Easier said than done. It was assumed that the agreed fee was for a one-on-one service.

[thickornotatall]

I have always been put off by someone renegotiating after the fact, in any aspect of life.

negotiating after the fact is not fair ....that changes the entire dynamic and puts the escort in a bind....probably no one lost out...but it happened so fast no thought was put in to what happens after...who gets what from?....personally I dislike 3 somes....too confusing....who do I do first?...what if I like this guy more...what if?..what if?...no more for me....maybe...

[+ azdr0710]

Mocha: "He did ask if I'd be ok with it, I said yes but that I'd need to make sure I'm going to get my cut."

 

"I wasn't forced into doing anything with the other person"

 

"Admittedly I got paid for a little over 2 hours"

 

"I'm kinda annoyed by it, but overall I did get paid reasonably. I can think of worse case scenarios in a situation like this."

 

 

 

 

so just kinda venting, eh, "Mocha"?.....I like gregkidman's answer

[+ stevenkesslar]

Two thoughts on this:

 

1. The time to think about this is before the session, when the client asked if you'd be OK with it. That was really your only reasonable opportunity to negotiate an additional fee. It would be great if the client gave you an extra-large tip, but that is completely at their discretion if nothing has been discussed up front.

 

2. Officially, you're being paid for your time only, and what transpires during that time is between consenting adults. You were compensated for your time, as agreed.

 

You aren't doing yourself any favors by being annoyed by it at this point. You've got to just let it go and consider it a learning experience for next time.

 

Finally, you should consider this from the client's point-of-view. It sounds like, after setting up the appointment with you, he met this other guy who was up for a (free) sexual encounter. The client could have gone with the other guy, cancelled your appointment (or no-showed) and gotten satisfaction. Kudos to him for respecting you and not flaking out.

 

I mostly agree with this.

 

The caveat is I felt a curveball was thrown at me, I would have dealt with it right away. Cancel the whole thing, ask for more, insist that the 3rd person has to leave - whatever you want. Once you moved forward, you have up that chance. You can't go back and renegotiate after the fact.

[+ WmClarke]

You can't go back and renegotiate after the fact.

Well, yes, except that's exactly what the client did.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

I guess it all depends on the situation.

 

- Am I expected to be responsible for this other party's pleasure and enjoyment?

- Is he going to dilute or add to the amount of effort that I put into the session?

- Is the third party making the overall encounter more fun?

 

This has only happened to me one time, where the client pulled someone else out of the proverbial hat. I was still a naive and scared little escort girl in Bumfuck Town Meadows, and had barely started when I was contacted by this businessman to come to a hotel that night. I show up and it's a multi-room suite, and he's got this kid who might be 18 and they are traveling together. And they are both coked out of their minds. I am obviously uncomfortable and the kid knows it and pulls me aside and tells me that he's an escort, everything is on the up and up (as much as it could be—anyway) and to basically just sit back and watch because the kid was tired and wanted someone to distract the client for a while.

 

So they sat and asked me questions about myself for about an hour, while the two of them did shots and more coke. I got up to leave and the client asked me how much I wanted and before I could answer the kid said: "He wants $800." So without missing a beat the guy whips out a wad of money and counts me out $800. The kid thanks me for providing him with a break and I leave.

 

A trainwreck to be sure—but it was a learning experience.

[maninsoma]

I guess it all depends on the situation.

 

- Am I expected to be responsible for this other party's pleasure and enjoyment?

- Is he going to dilute or add to the amount of effort that I put into the session?

- Is the third party making the overall encounter more fun?

 

This has only happened to me one time, where the client pulled someone else out of the proverbial hat. I was still a naive and scared little escort girl in Bumfuck Town Meadows, and had barely started when I was contacted by this businessman to come to a hotel that night. I show up and it's a multi-room suite, and he's got this kid who might be 18 and they are traveling together. And they are both coked out of their minds. I am obviously uncomfortable and the kid knows it and pulls me aside and tells me that he's an escort, everything is on the up and up (as much as it could be—anyway) and to basically just sit back and watch because the kid was tired and wanted someone to distract the client for a while.

 

So they sat and asked me questions about myself for about an hour, while the two of them did shots and more coke. I got up to leave and the client asked me how much I wanted and before I could answer the kid said: "He wants $800." So without missing a beat the guy whips out a wad of money and counts me out $800. The kid thanks me for providing him with a break and I leave.

 

A trainwreck to be sure—but it was a learning experience.

 

That sounds like a trainwreck and also sounds uncomfortable, but I wouldn't mind getting paid $800 to sit around for an hour and bullshit with two guys while they're snorting coke.

[Rudynate]

So I don't know, I'm kinda annoyed by it, but overall I did get paid reasonably. I can think of worse case scenarios in a situation like this.

 

That kind of stuff happens. You just have to suck it up. A couple weeks ago, I quoted a fixed fee for a project based on a time estimate of 4 hours. I drastically underestimated how long it would take and I spent ten hours on it. It cost me thousands of dollars. But a fixed fee is a fixed fee. Doing what I said I would do, maintaining my credibility, in the long run, is more important than getting paid for all the time I had in his project.

 

The week before that, I was able, unexpectedly, to complete a project in, literally, a few minutes, that I had also quoted at four hours. But, a fixed fee is a fixed fee, and it worked in my favor that time.

[+ stevenkesslar]

Well, yes, except that's exactly what the client did.

 

Actually, WC, this is partly semantics, but I'd argue the client renegotiated it BEFORE the fact. That's the time to either call bullshit, ask for more money, or shut up and suck.

 

I've been in this situation a bunch of times , where I found out when I arrived a third party was coming along for the ride, and my response was always just, "Dive in." I'm highly capable of feeling self-pity, but rarely for getting paid to have sex.

[+ stevenkesslar]

That sounds like a trainwreck and also sounds uncomfortable, but I wouldn't mind getting paid $800 to sit around for an hour and bullshit with two guys while they're snorting coke.

 

Personally, I think it was incredibly rude. He should have at least offered cocaine to Chris, so that he could get all fucked up and be barebacked by both the escort and the client for hours. I've done gigs like that, and I only charge $2500, after the discount for the free cocaine.

[Amoco]

I think the story Chris told above is disturbing on many levels, but unless I'm missing something, how is taking $800 from a coked up guy being controlled by another Impaired escort the ethical thing to do? I'm sure I'll get all kinds of grief for this, but I don't see it as any different than a client taking advantage of an impaired escort.

 

Don't get me wrong. Chris should be paid exactly what he contracted for, but my guess is that $800 an hour, even for him, is more than anyone would have expected or asked for. The whole situation was fucked up from the start and the right choice would probably have been to leave. Once he stayed, he deserved compensation at the agreed upon rate. To let the other escort manipulate the obviously impaired client into overpaying for whatever reason, is ethically wrong in my book. Whether the client could afford it, was a dick on every level or whatever, it's my belief that Chris should have taken the $800, peeled off what was due him, possibly added a decent tip and thrown the rest of the money on the bed before walking out and telling these guys not to call him again.

 

Feel free to disagree, but that's what character is all about. Everybody deserves exactly what they deserve. Just because someone is an asshole, it doesn't mean it's OK to take advantage of them.

[MiamiLooker]

I think the story Chris told above is disturbing on many levels, but unless I'm missing something, how is taking $800 from a coked up guy being controlled by another Impaired escort the ethical thing to do? I'm sure I'll get all kinds of grief for this, but I don't see it as any different than a client taking advantage of an impaired escort.

 

Don't get me wrong. Chris should be paid exactly what he contracted for, but my guess is that $800 an hour, even for him, is more than anyone would have expected or asked for. The whole situation was fucked up from the start and the right choice would probably have been to leave. Once he stayed, he deserved compensation at the agreed upon rate. To let the other escort manipulate the obviously impaired client into overpaying for whatever reason, is ethically wrong in my book. Whether the client could afford it, was a dick on every level or whatever, it's my belief that Chris should have taken the $800, peeled off what was due him, possibly added a decent tip and thrown the rest of the money on the bed before walking out and telling these guys not to call him again.

 

Feel free to disagree, but that's what character is all about. Everybody deserves exactly what they deserve. Just because someone is an asshole, it doesn't mean it's OK to take advantage of them.

 

Very interesting perspective. I can’t say that I disagree with you. It seems, though, that several forum members think it was ok.

[+ azdr0710]

hmmm......all this chatter and dickering around reminds me of my first meeting with a future Daddy's Reviews EOY......we hadn't even really agreed on a rate and I ended up handing him a reasonable amount at the end....he said it was too much and handed much of it back.....sorta refreshing and reassuring after reading "Mocha"'s initial lament here in the thread.....

[+ SundayZip]

... Whether the client could afford it, was a dick on every level or whatever, it's my belief that Chris should have taken the $800, peeled off what was due him, possibly added a decent tip and thrown the rest of the money on the bed before walking out and telling these guys not to call him again...

 

Peeling off what was due him and handing back the rest would make for a good scene in the Julia Roberts movie, but quite frankly, I probably would have done exactly as Chris did, especially as "...a naive and scared little escort girl in Bumfuck Town Meadows."

[Amoco]

Hah! That you would have done it the same way doesn't make it right...

[corndog]

I think the story Chris told above is disturbing on many levels...

 

First of all, as I read Chris's account, it seems like the situation that he found himself in was a significant departure from what he had agreed to, so I don't think that taking the $800 was totally unfair. I don't think that he was in a position to demand anything like that, but when it was handed to him, without objection, it was reasonable for him to accept it. If the client was impaired, it wasn't Chris's fault; it was a situation that Chris neither facilitated nor appreciated, and the client shouldn't have allowed his judgement to become impaired with drugs and alcohol.

 

Second, and more important, if we want escorts to continue to participate here, I think we need to take it easy on the judgement. I really appreciate Chris sharing this little story, and if we, as a community, cast judgement on every escort's remark, we'll soon find ourselves talking only amongst ourselves, without the valuable insight that we get from seeing this business from the escorts' point of view.