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What kind of info can client expect to divulge in a screening?


laben
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Hi all. Long-time lurker, first time poster, and about to hire for the first time. Or, recently having made my first attempt at hiring while traveling to the east coast.

 

It's someone with only a few reviews but who I find super sexy and whose ad is well written and just appealing. I got in touch with him and we had a nice, short text exchange that felt natural, comfortable and followed, I think, good etiquette. No haggling or mention of his stated rate, no overly sexy talk that might be confused for not-serious inquiry jackoff material, politeness, promptness and even a couple witty jokes. All seemed to be going well.

 

We then chatted on the phone, also easy and comfortable, until he started explaining his screening criteria he'd need from me, which was he wanted to know my last name so he could call me directly on my hotel room phone to confirm I was staying there. Also, because we discussed the possibility of a few hours and an overnight, he said he required a face pic for all overnighters he'd never met. I wasn't particularly comfortable with either, privacy being among my priorities, so I told him honestly it wouldn't work for me. He was courteous in his understanding and that was that.

 

But it made me wonder, and I can't seem to find a ton of info here about it, whether this is a standard screening process for new clients? Or if not, what can be expected by a client trying to hire, in terms of how much info, and what kind of info, he'll be expected to divulge? Though privacy is very important to me, I understand some compromises have to be made, so I'd also like to get an understanding of what some of you might consider "best" or "reasonable" practices. Any help and/or assurance around this would be fabulously appreciated.

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It's would seem that safety is of paramount importance and it's reasonable that the escort know the client's real name.

 

When I use I use my regular email.

 

Although it seems contrary, I can appreciate that most escorts use a "stage name" and I for one have no interest in knowing his real name

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I think you are perfectly entitled to confidentiality. If the meeting is at your hotel though, I find the escort's request to disclose your last name not entirely unreasonable. I know from escorts I hired in NYC, for instance, that outcalls to hotels are tricky - many 'prank' appointments are set up at hotels supposedly. I know of some escorts who will simply not accept appointments in a hotel. Imagine going to a hotel and finding out that your client never was there and 'suddenly' doesn't respond to text messages or can't be reached on the phone anymore. Frustrating. So I understand it.

 

Overnights are a serious commitment by the client and by the escort. Do you really want to spend the night with somebody you never met, and it just doesn't click? It may be uncomfortable for you to send a picture over, but better that than having a disappointing experience.

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I rarely take pictures and of course there is no guarantee to the escort that the picture being sent is actually the client's, so the idea of sending a picture does not work for me and does not do anything to reliably inform the escort.

As for my last name, I have no problem giving my last name but I do have some difficulty with the escort asking for it. Again, if one wanted to be deceptive, one could go to the front desk and inform them that my good friend, Mr. Smith will be receiving some calls in my room during my stay, would you please inform the operators. I understand that no one wants to go across town for a wild ride and no client. The escort has every right to ask, the client has every right to refuse.

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Hi all. Long-time lurker, first time poster, and about to hire for the first time. Or, recently having made my first attempt at hiring while traveling to the east coast.

 

It's someone with only a few reviews but who I find super sexy and whose ad is well written and just appealing. I got in touch with him and we had a nice, short text exchange that felt natural, comfortable and followed, I think, good etiquette. No haggling or mention of his stated rate, no overly sexy talk that might be confused for not-serious inquiry jackoff material, politeness, promptness and even a couple witty jokes. All seemed to be going well.

 

We then chatted on the phone, also easy and comfortable, until he started explaining his screening criteria he'd need from me, which was he wanted to know my last name so he could call me directly on my hotel room phone to confirm I was staying there. Also, because we discussed the possibility of a few hours and an overnight, he said he required a face pic for all overnighters he'd never met. I wasn't particularly comfortable with either, privacy being among my priorities, so I told him honestly it wouldn't work for me. He was courteous in his understanding and that was that.

 

But it made me wonder, and I can't seem to find a ton of info here about it, whether this is a standard screening process for new clients? Or if not, what can be expected by a client trying to hire, in terms of how much info, and what kind of info, he'll be expected to divulge? Though privacy is very important to me, I understand some compromises have to be made, so I'd also like to get an understanding of what some of you might consider "best" or "reasonable" practices. Any help and/or assurance around this would be fabulously appreciated.

 

Considering the fact you guys talked on the phone, and also texted each other I'm surprised about how distrustful he sounded. There's some important information missing from your conversations: rate for time, into, location (your city, his city), and the date of the event because I'm sure some escorts would require a deposit for an overnight next month somewhere else.

 

You could just check in and call him from the hotel's phone to give him your room number and ask him to come over.

 

Sending a face pic? This ain't e-harmony or Grindr. Very few times an escort meets a client he would have fuck for free after meeting at a bar (if people still meet at bars).

 

Standard screening process for new clients? There's no velvet rope here and if there is: face pic and full information required I would just move on.

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Hey laben, welcome. I would go by purplecow's tenet of "the escort has every right to ask, the client has every right to refuse." I can understand both sides here and there are no hard rules on the issue. Depending on the city and how long the commute, I can understand an escort wanting to verify the client's locale, and most hotels refuse to put calls thru without a surname. The picture thing is not something you're going to encounter often. I respect this escort's comfort zone level, but keep trying, for many escorts a picture is irrelevant.

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Guest countryboywny

This is a toughy.. if you spoke and texted with the escort and developed some kind of rapport, I would reasonably expect "some" level of trust would develop. Particularly if you were both forthcoming and honest in your dealings. You and the escort are perfectly entitled to decide what and how much information can be shared. If this escort requires more information than you are comfortable sharing then you have every right to decline and move on. The shame is that you are attracted to him and I'm sure you feel disappointment.

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I am not sure what purpose is served by the escort asking for the client's picture, but in these times when your photo could be shared with anyone, by anyone, I would hesitate to comply with the request. The request for a last name makes some sense if he is meeting you at a hotel where he needs to get past security, but it is another piece of information that can be used in uncontrollable ways, even if you never go through with a meeting. If you really are nervous about maintaining your privacy, declining to make an appt. is the safest route.

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Oh, sorry the missing info. New York, rate was $250, and I inquired on a Sunday for an appointment the following Thursday afternoon or possible Wednesday overnight. This was a couple weeks ago. It was a confirmed business trip I considered making a day longer to do a Thursday appointment, but didn't after it was clear it wasn't going to happen with this guy. Never having hired, I'm kinda trigger shy and it took me a long time to work up the nerve to contact this guy, let alone someone else I hadn't worked myself up to be so comfortable about.

 

I thought a lot about whether to ask about an overnight, and totally understand and agree about the first timer thing being tricky if the chemistry was off. But I don't know, he just seemed like a good idea! Am I getting ahead of myself?

 

I don't think he sounded distrustful, per se, or defensive. All very pleasant. Just firm and matter-of-factly. I'd never really read on this forum a lot about screening, though, or of anyone mentioning last name at a hotel or asking for a photo, so didn't know if I simply wasn't in-the-know. The photo request seems fair from a security perspective though it's not something I'm up for.

 

The last name request seems more reasonable after getting some of these replies, though I'm shocked to hear that any clients, whether actually potential or spoof clients, would set someone up like that. What a crazy thing to do. Why?!?!? I just can't understand the reasoning or the cruelty!!!!

 

I will be back in New York soon and travel there often for business so I might work up the nerve to give my last name for a one or two hour session and we can discuss overnight from there. I am quite eager to meet him!

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Iaben If you feel comfortable sharing the name with board, you might get more insight into others reactions with him. If you feel you somehow would be offending the escort, you might try privately contacting some NYC hirers on the board and inquiring if they have been with this man and was this his usual screening. Feel free to contact me on here if I can help you.

Just as an aside, you may be overthinking this and getting caught up on this particular guy. There are lots of great escorts in NYC and if you are looking for a particular type of man, the members here are always full of opinions about men.

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From my perspective, a request for an overnight, out of the blue, from someone I haven't worked with before raises more red flags that would lead me to tread cautiously. Would I want to find out more and find away to make that work? Yes. Would I want to be extra cautious in that situation? Yes. Would I want to take extra steps to ensure there is a "fit" between me and the client? Yes. What would those extra steps and extra caution look like - hard to say. But as was mentioned above, the escort can ask and the client can refuse - it is a two way street.

 

My advice for the original poster is to either move slightly slower with your chosen escort - a two hour or dinner date first. Or at the very least, put yourself in his shoes and understand that the "dream client" who comes in right off the bat with a $1000 or $1500 or whatever for an overnight may be the opportunity that is "too good to be true".

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Could you go to him for the first meeting? After that he might be willing to go to your room for an overnight.

 

Knowing your last name doesn't give him any additional security if he knows your room number; he should have told someone where he was going, and the police would be able to get your name from the room number if they need to.

 

I like the idea of setting up a fake name with the front desk.

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Iaben If you feel comfortable sharing the name with board, you might get more insight into others reactions with him. If you feel you somehow would be offending the escort, you might try privately contacting some NYC hirers on the board and inquiring if they have been with this man and was this his usual screening. Feel free to contact me on here if I can help you.

Just as an aside, you may be overthinking this and getting caught up on this particular guy. There are lots of great escorts in NYC and if you are looking for a particular type of man, the members here are always full of opinions about men.

 

Wow, so much to consider I never really thought about. You're probably right that I'm overthinking it because it does seem wrong to me to share who I'm talking about, because I don't like the idea that I'm being discussed. But I guess that's inevitable when I finally decide to plunge into this. And posting here isn't much different than writing a review in terms of discussing an escort I guess! I will definitely look around with a broader mind at other escorts.

 

From my perspective, a request for an overnight, out of the blue, from someone I haven't worked with before raises more red flags that would lead me to tread cautiously. Would I want to find out more and find away to make that work? Yes. Would I want to be extra cautious in that situation? Yes. Would I want to take extra steps to ensure there is a "fit" between me and the client? Yes. What would those extra steps and extra caution look like - hard to say. But as was mentioned above, the escort can ask and the client can refuse - it is a two way street.

 

My advice for the original poster is to either move slightly slower with your chosen escort - a two hour or dinner date first. Or at the very least, put yourself in his shoes and understand that the "dream client" who comes in right off the bat with a $1000 or $1500 or whatever for an overnight may be the opportunity that is "too good to be true".

 

This makes a lot of sense and I hadn't considered before the suspicion of coming in too hot. I will definitely take your advice on starting out with an hour or two.

 

Could you go to him for the first meeting? After that he might be willing to go to your room for an overnight.

 

Knowing your last name doesn't give him any additional security if he knows your room number; he should have told someone where he was going, and the polive would be able to get your name from the room number if they need to.

 

I like the idea of setting up a fake name with the front desk.

 

I'm generally more comfortable with the idea of being in my own space, though I'm not closed off to this idea. But god, I would hope never to get into a situation where the police are questioning him about my room number for any reason. I realize total anonymity is impossible but I'm just trying to keep my privacy because of personal/family concerns and would rather err as much on the side of caution as possible.

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The only guideline that has ever made sense to me is that if you are new to hiring--or even in a new or unfamiliar city--select escorts who are well reviewed and seem to have a good bit of experience. I have had a few uncomfortable experiences which almost always resulted from my not doing my homework. It's always exciting to try out a new guy, especially if his pictures turn you on. But when my little head overrules my big head, I can find myself in a bad spot. cheers

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I rarely take pictures and of course there is no guarantee to the escort that the picture being sent is actually the client's, so the idea of sending a picture does not work for me and does not do anything to reliably inform the escort.

As for my last name, I have no problem giving my last name but I do have some difficulty with the escort asking for it. Again, if one wanted to be deceptive, one could go to the front desk and inform them that my good friend, Mr. Smith will be receiving some calls in my room during my stay, would you please inform the operators. I understand that no one wants to go across town for a wild ride and no client. The escort has every right to ask, the client has every right to refuse.

 

Could you go to him for the first meeting? After that he might be willing to go to your room for an overnight.

 

Knowing your last name doesn't give him any additional security if he knows your room number; he should have told someone where he was going, and the polive would be able to get your name from the room number if they need to.

 

I like the idea of setting up a fake name with the front desk.

 

Welcome to the forum, laben! So much great advice here. I agree with keeping your anonymity by giving an alternate name to the front desk and furnishing that name to the escort. As for a picture, just as Ares (who is an excellent escort in NYC, by the way!) pointed out, this is not a usual request for most escorts.

 

If the escort is willing to meet in a neutral place, like a coffee shop or bar in or near the hotel with the offer of giving him the choice as to whether he is comfortable with doing an overnight after meeting you, (also YOU can decide if he is as desirable to you as his ad appears) it would bypass the need for giving him your real name and/or a picture. Finally, just remember to relax and enjoy your time with him if the appointment happens!

 

TruHart1 :cool:

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The last name request seems more reasonable after getting some of these replies, though I'm shocked to hear that any clients, whether actually potential or spoof clients, would set someone up like that. What a crazy thing to do. Why?!?!? I just can't understand the reasoning or the cruelty!!!!

 

Sadly, yes that does happen. And often. Which is why most upscale escort agencies representing women, in NYC, will refuse to send their escorts to hotels. The same applies to male escorts - some of the guys I know will not do outcalls at hotels. Some people are just very cruel, as you said, and 'get off' on mistreating people that way. It is hugely risky for an escort to go to an outcall at a hotel, especially if they haven't met the client before!

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laben,

 

Unfortunately, bad treatment can go both ways and clients are set up for fake meetings as well. So, I'm glad to hear you are trying to find someone with some decent reviews for your first hire.

 

Personally, I always send a face picture. Sometimes I send one before I've seen an escort's own face pic but usually I insist he send one first (of course that's not an issue if he puts one in his ad). So I'm ok with an escort asking for one as long as he will goes first.

 

I wouldn't give my last name to an escort I hadn't met yet. Just feels invasive to me at first. If I've seen him and feel comfortable, I wouldn't care if he new my name.

 

I would also consider not doing an overnight your first time. You never really can tell chemistry before you meet someone even if he has the most glowing reviews. Do an hour (or two) and see how it goes for your first time.

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Hi laben,

 

I echo the sentiment that you should re-consider hiring an escort for an overnight for your first time. There are many reasons for giving this advice, including the obvious: you or he might realize during the date that an overnight simply won't work. When meeting an escort for the first time I schedule for an hour with the option for a second if we both have the desire and availability to do so. If I was traveling and wanted company for a post-date dinner, I might suggest that we schedule for an hour with the option of going out to dinner "if we are both up for it." That gives both of us a way to opt out of the extra time if we don't wish to (or don't have the time to) extend our date.

 

From my perspective, a request for an overnight, out of the blue, from someone I haven't worked with before raises more red flags that would lead me to tread cautiously. Would I want to find out more and find away to make that work? Yes. Would I want to be extra cautious in that situation? Yes. Would I want to take extra steps to ensure there is a "fit" between me and the client? Yes. What would those extra steps and extra caution look like - hard to say. But as was mentioned above, the escort can ask and the client can refuse - it is a two way street.

 

This is a great perspective, which is easily turned around to a client's perspective: if an escort I hadn't worked with before out of the blue suggested we spend the night together on a first date I would proceed with caution. Not knowing the escort, there would have to be a way for me to determine whether we would be a good fit first. Can't say what that would look like, but it would require more than a couple of emails to work out.

 

It is tempting to want an extended date when you are traveling and have the ability to spend a night with another man. Resist that temptation on your first time. There will be other trips and if you hire the guy for a couple of hours and click you can always plan a longer session the next time.

 

Lastly, welcome to the forum. Please keep us apprised about your experience and feel free to ask any questions you might have. There is a diverse set of opinions and communications styles here and I find myself learning something new every day.

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Sadly, yes that does happen. And often. Which is why most upscale escort agencies representing women, in NYC, will refuse to send their escorts to hotels. The same applies to male escorts - some of the guys I know will not do outcalls at hotels.

 

That weeds out the few guys setting them up. But it also eliminates a large part of the market for high end escorts: Traveling businessmen and married guys who can only host at a hotel. They can insist that those guys show up at the agency or a coffee shop, but again, that weeds out many legit guys. I'm curious: How do the agencies get around this issue?

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I used to run off to meet clients with very little information. Worked fine for awhile, but with texts becoming so commonplace and the abuse and anonymity of it, I started having problems.

 

I now do ask for stats, and with hotels....unless the client can call me directly from the hotel and VOLUNTEER (prank callers tend to not) their name and room number...I wouldn't suggest someone do it. I've was stood up to hotel by very genuine sounding client, didn't volunteer name information which should have been a red flag.

 

As for hotels being more risky, i don't find that to be the case. In fact, I wish MORE clients would call when in hotels because that's an entire market that seems to have vanished over the last couple years. I used to drive by in Dallas and point to all the hotels I visited. Almost every single one from the W to the Melrose to the Warwick. Nowadays, no matter what city I'm in, except 1 southern city, hotel meets seem to be way down. I've only been stood up with those once or twice, compared to the millions of times more likely a client can cancel or no show on Incalls.

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There are no more male agencies in new york, but a few years ago, when i worked for one, they had no pb sending out guys to hotels once the credit card had been verified. I can't speak for female agencies.

 

Surely, if the credit card has been verified it's an entirely different game. The agency or the escort is quite likely to get paid. AND you have the real name of the client as well - you can call ahead of time to verify the client is indeed a guest at the hotel.

 

Most escorts seem to expect cash payments though.

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That weeds out the few guys setting them up. But it also eliminates a large part of the market for high end escorts: Traveling businessmen and married guys who can only host at a hotel. They can insist that those guys show up at the agency or a coffee shop, but again, that weeds out many legit guys. I'm curious: How do the agencies get around this issue?

 

A great question. I think the high-end female escort agencies in NY are busy enough with their local clientele. NY is an affluent market on its own. My experience with the high-end female agencies is that they will simply hang up the phone on you if you request an appointment at a hotel. When I worked on Wall Street, I had many requests like that from the firm's clients.

 

I don't know this for sure, but I think the 'less reputable' agencies and some of the solo female escorts may cater to hotel guests. There certainly are plenty of solo female escorts to chose from - check out www.eros.com

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A great question. I think the high-end female escort agencies in NY are busy enough with their local clientele. NY is an affluent market on its own. My experience with the high-end female agencies is that they will simply hang up the phone on you if you request an appointment at a hotel. When I worked on Wall Street, I had many requests like that from the firm's clients.

 

*Breathes a sigh of relief* For a moment there, I thought you meant that the bankers and traders themselves patronized such establishments.;)

 

Seriously, thanks, that's interesting info. But doesn't the NY market include a lot of married men and even single men who don't want the doorman in their business? I thought that nearly all female escorts screened clients before the first meeting, either on their own or through a service.

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