What kind of info can client expect to divulge in a screening?

[Guest Starbuck]

My reaction to the escort's requirements would have been the same as the OP's--unwillingness to proceed because I was being asked for more than I'd like to share--but both the client and the escort are certainly entitled to (and should!) operate within their individual comfort zones. And in this particular case, both gentlemen deserve credit for keeping things friendly and polite even after it was clear that a meeting wasn't going to occur.

[laben]

My reaction to the escort's requirements would have been the same as the OP's--unwillingness to proceed because I was being asked for more than I'd like to share--but both the client and the escort are certainly entitled to (and should!) operate within their individual comfort zones. And in this particular case, both gentlemen deserve credit for keeping things friendly and polite even after it was clear that a meeting wasn't going to occur.

 

Thank you. I myself was very impressed with how calmly he handled things, since I know that's not a given after reading several posts here where the escort doesn't take kindly to a retreat (sometimes understandably in the case of time-wasters). In fact, I'm thinking of contacting him again since he was so professional about him, and due to the general good feeling of the whole interaction.

[Juan Vancouver]

Hi Laben,

 

Let me share my point of view. I never, under any circumstance ask for a picture of any kind. I hope the potential client shares as much as he believes it to be important for a successful meeting, but that's entirely on his court.

 

As for going to a hotel to meet a client? I would NEVER go to a room in a hotel without having first called through the hotel number and confirmed my prospective client is there. I need to talk to him, having him answer the hotel phone IN THE ROOM. In order to do that I have to have your room number and your last name. Now, believe me, I have absolutely no interest in having your name, saving it, sharing it, googling it. I write it in a non-descript piece of paper that I take with me to the hotel, and as soon as I come out of the session I rip it off carefully and put it in the garbage.

 

People do book ho_kers as a prank. Happens all the time. Apparently it's hilarious. Sending a hooker to your neighbour, sending one across the hall, sending one to a fake address, you name it. That is not the worst possibility; some people in some places have the nasty sport of harassing the hooker. They send them to a false address or room, then they follow them, rough them up, assault them, rob them. Obviously people wanting to harass or prank you will not want to share any information with you. They will use a private number, won't want to share their room number or last name, will want to meet you at a coffee shop or some bullshit like that.

 

I don't know a single professional escort who has survived in this business who takes blind calls without necessary confirmation.

 

This is a toughy.. if you spoke and texted with the escort and developed some kind of rapport, I would reasonably expect "some" level of trust would develop. Particularly if you were both forthcoming and honest in your dealings.

 

This is exactly how psychopaths work. They are incredibly charming, funny, intelligent. They develop rapport in seconds because they know exactly what is it that you want to hear. I have found that the success of the session is inversely proportional to the length of the setting up process. There is this time limit that once passed, I know the potential client is just a flake and wants to jerk off, keep you on the phone or send you to a fake session. Have been long enough in this business to know when to be the one to pull the plug.

 

Knowing your last name doesn't give him any additional security if he knows your room number; he should have told someone where he was going, and the police would be able to get your name from the room number if they need to.

 

Of course, I hope you realize that what escorts want when screening a client is not to give the murder detective enough information to catch their killer. What we want when screening a potential client is precisely to avoid having a detective involved.

 

You can only break the safety rules once and you can find yourself floating down the river.

 

I realize there are a couple honest men who won't share their information. However, I know 100% of the men who have bad intentions won't either. I much rather never meeting that small percentage of very shy and scared men if that means I will avoid meeting the crazies. Also, the really scared ones, the hesitant ones, the ones who don't want to share any info are the ones most likely to flake because they had a panic attack in the parking lot.

 

Ain't nobody got time fo dat! As much compassion as I might feel for them, this is my job.

 

I like the idea of setting up a fake name with the front desk.

 

You all realize that hotel people will know immediately that you are hiring a male prostitute if you come up with this request, right? A couple friends of mine work a hotels and they say nobody gives a shit about what their guests do, until strange requests like these come up. Then you will be heavily screened by hotel security because they KNOW you are up to something illegal.

 

You desire to be discreet might be biting you in the butt.

 

If the escort is willing to meet in a neutral place, like a coffee shop or bar in or near the hotel with the offer of giving him the choice as to whether he is comfortable with doing an overnight after meeting you, (also YOU can decide if he is as desirable to you as his ad appears) it would bypass the need for giving him your real name and/or a picture.

 

I don't know a single responsible, intelligent, surviving escort that will agree to meet anyone in the street. Every dummy that has tried it has innumerable stories of being stood up, having been followed, having had the client try to negotiate out of the blue before going to the hotel, and stories much darker than these.

 

It blows me away how often some clients are shocked about the thought that the escort's safety should be taken in consideration at all. "You want the money, I have the money, you should do as I say or you won't get it". (Even if this might potentially mean putting myself in very serious danger..)

 

Your safety is important, as is your privacy. Exactly the same applies to your escort.

 

Meeting with consistently reviewed escorts is one extra level of protection against meeting someone dangerous.

 

Having a client who gladly shares his information is the only way we have to gauge our potential client's good intentions.

 

If you want to hire an escort with a proven record of safety, you will have to disclose some information. If you don't want to disclose some information, you will have to end up meeting with un-proven, potentially dangerous escorts.

 

There really is no way around it.

[BaronArtz]

Very well said, Juan! I had some thoughts about security issues myself but you explained it very clearly. Thank you.

[laben]

Wow, thank you Juan! These posts were slowly getting me to understand the complexities of what escorts deal with and I then you came and laid down the law! (In a good way.) I must confess guilt to exactly what you describe...not taking much time to consider the safety considerations of the escort. Not because I don't want him to be safe, but because I would never do any harm to anyone purposely. But obviously I'm old enough to understand that the world is a much more dangerous place than that.

 

Hearing about all the things all of you have mentioned is a real wake-up call to understand an escort's perspective, and lets me know I'm being overly paranoid. I believe when you say...and believe probably most escorts would agree...that you're only interested in "my info" for safety and not out of nosiness. Also, that there must be some trade-offs in the disclosure of information given how little info an escort has on a client. I'd never really thought about the disparity of info available in the form of reviews, when comparing client to escort.

 

I still haven't made my first hire (which I'd like to do soon) but thank you all, and especially you Juan, for answering my questions and allowing me to look at things from a different perspective. It's making me much less nervous and comfortable with making the proper arrangements for my first hire. Clearly I needed this before contacting anyone to begin with, and in a way I'm grateful to that escort for turning me down because it lead to my looking at things more compassionately. And I'm even more turned on by him now, because he's clearly someone who takes care of himself and knows what he's doing!

[Guest countryboywny]

 

This is exactly how psychopaths work.

 

Are you saying that I'm a psychopath?

[Juan Vancouver]

Are you saying that I'm a psychopath?

 

No.

 

Dogs also work like that. Grannies also work like that. There are many different types of creatures that work really hard at instilling trust and creating a semblance of safety.

 

Some of those creatures are psychopaths and murderers. Whether you are one, I have absolutely no idea since I don't know you or know nothing about you.

 

So... are you?

[Steven_Draker]

Hi all. Long-time lurker, first time poster, and about to hire for the first time. Or, recently having made my first attempt at hiring while traveling to the east coast.

 

It's someone with only a few reviews but who I find super sexy and whose ad is well written and just appealing. I got in touch with him and we had a nice, short text exchange that felt natural, comfortable and followed, I think, good etiquette. No haggling or mention of his stated rate, no overly sexy talk that might be confused for not-serious inquiry jackoff material, politeness, promptness and even a couple witty jokes. All seemed to be going well.

 

We then chatted on the phone, also easy and comfortable, until he started explaining his screening criteria he'd need from me, which was he wanted to know my last name so he could call me directly on my hotel room phone to confirm I was staying there. Also, because we discussed the possibility of a few hours and an overnight, he said he required a face pic for all overnighters he'd never met. I wasn't particularly comfortable with either, privacy being among my priorities, so I told him honestly it wouldn't work for me. He was courteous in his understanding and that was that.

 

But it made me wonder, and I can't seem to find a ton of info here about it, whether this is a standard screening process for new clients? Or if not, what can be expected by a client trying to hire, in terms of how much info, and what kind of info, he'll be expected to divulge? Though privacy is very important to me, I understand some compromises have to be made, so I'd also like to get an understanding of what some of you might consider "best" or "reasonable" practices. Any help and/or assurance around this would be fabulously appreciated.

 

I'm much more relaxed in the setting up process and the confirming stage. I never ask for face pics. Furthermore, I don't want my clients to feel obligated to divulge any info they're not comfortable giving (like last names). I know you guys care about your privacy, as I do ...

 

For the record: If you want to verify that a given person is staying at certain hotel, the telephonist will put you through if you have a room number and a first name. However, a phone conversation and talking to the person will give me much more information about his intentions, than verifying that he's indeed staying in a given room. If I have a doubt, I may seldom ask for a verification, but I won't bother for each and every client I'm seeing. And I still have to be a victim of a "prank".

[Guest countryboywny]

No.

 

Dogs also work like that. Grannies also work like that. There are many different types of creatures that work really hard at instilling trust and creating a semblance of safety.

 

Some of those creatures are psychopaths and murderers. Whether you are one, I have absolutely no idea since I don't know you or know nothing about you.

 

So... are you?

 

Well, I'm not a dog or a grannie. I don't think I'm a psychopath, have to think about that one! LOL You are absolutely correct that evil people will go out of their way to create a false sense of trust and/or safety. As an escort, you are probably more likely to encounter these people, and I'm glad that you are aware of them for your own safety. I guess that I'm a bit naive, but I have a very good sense of people and notice when something doesn't "feel" right. But, I am honest and genuine in my dealings with people, kind of like putting my best foot forward. Sometimes my foot is gently massaged and returned.. and sometimes my foot gets stomped on!

[+ WhamIAm]

Interesting thread! I've always been both concerned and curious about the risks faced by escorts with first-time clients as well as (of course) my own when hiring a first-time escort. (So much so on their side that I used to send links to my FB and LinkdIn pages. Thanks to Chris Eisenhower for telling me that that wasn't the best idea in the world).

FWIW to the OP, for my protection, I primarily just research the hell out of them, relying heavily on the feedback in the reviews and on this forum. When first contacting a new guy, I give first name, age, where I'm from if I'm hiring out of town, and tell him generally that I have a professional career without revealing it and a self-depreciating joke about my looks. Many if not most of my hires have been EOY or Top of the List guys in the past. With one or two exceptions, they've all been reviewed at least once by forum members with multiple posts. At hotels, I almost always meet the escort in the lobby just to make sure neither of us have last-minute concerns. At home, our first visit is always an in-call or I'll rent a hotel room in town. I've never been asked for a picture (which would be a total non-starter for me) and never been asked to take a call from my hotel room phone (which would be ok by me). Maybe a lot of it is how open you are in your first contact?

 

And, let me add my name to the chorus of never hiring for an overnight as the first meeting. I've done it twice, neither was at all successful or satisfying.

[mike carey]

Interesting thread and comments, and although I've posted frequently here, not so far on this thread. My hiring has been limited here in Oz and has so far been guys on Gaydar, and they have initiated contact after I'd looked at their profiles or made a comment in an open chat room. They have been good although not necessarily stellar. In all of them we went to messages on site and/or email or phone contact (mainly text), and neither of us asked for the sort of confirmation info discussed here. Maybe naïve but it worked. I went to their places for the meets to start with, although my hotel rooms later, money exchanged at the start in some first meeting cases, not in others (I didn't know one way or the other).

 

I've chatted in various ways with a few escorts here, but going further depends on when I'll visit the US (I'm not about to pay for or even ask one to consider coming here, that would be presumptuous, and I should make a significant effort if I want to see any of them). As far as this site is concerned, so many guys talk about the escorts and so many escorts chat openly, that the widely reviewed guys are low risk. I hope that if a hire is in consideration that I am low risk as well, and if I'm serious I will answer questions that they ask.

[recency]

I never use the "house phone" to call an escort, so I avoid that one. And, I never block calls, so presumably they have my name. (or do they? I don't understand modern phone technology very well--never mind). I try to send both an E Mail and make a phone call. I cross reference them "I will also call" in the E Mail and "I have also E Mailed you with the screen name ____" in my phone message. If it is a first time arrangement, I try to be very forthcoming about my age, appearance, and interests. I would rather have an escort decline on contact than at the start of our time together. I never send a picture. I like incalls, and incalls are practically a requirement for me to arrange for an escort's time. That's my end of things. To be honest, I never know what to expect from the escort's end of things, and I just regard this as an adventure, gaining new insights. At last, my question: what else should I be disclosing? Thanks all you wonderful escorts, for all you do.