Approaching str8 student

[jakeleyman]

I have some heavy property work I need help with and approached a cute college student working at a local nursery and he is coming over Sunday to give me a hand. Naturally I would like to hire him for bigger and better things. Sure I know the correct answer is that approaching str8 guys is risky and I should stick with well reviewed personnel on this site. Given that I seem to gravitate toward risk, do you have any suggestions on how to bring the subject up of a willingness to hire for more than yard duties?

[down_to_business]

Not from personal experience, but the only way I know of "friends" doing something like this is to invite him to go shopping with you so you can buy him a nice shirt or jeans or whatever.

[AdamSmith]

[marylander1940]

I have some heavy property work I need help with and approached a cute college student working at a local nursery and he is coming over Sunday to give me a hand. Naturally I would like to hire him for bigger and better things. Sure I know the correct answer is that approaching str8 guys is risky and I should stick with well reviewed personnel on this site. Given that I seem to gravitate toward risk, do you have any suggestions on how to bring the subject up of a willingness to hire for more than yard duties?

 

Would you offer him money or you just want to suck him for free?

[Frequentflier]

I have some heavy property work I need help with and approached a cute college student working at a local nursery and he is coming over Sunday to give me a hand. Naturally I would like to hire him for bigger and better things. Sure I know the correct answer is that approaching str8 guys is risky and I should stick with well reviewed personnel on this site. Given that I seem to gravitate toward risk, do you have any suggestions on how to bring the subject up of a willingness to hire for more than yard duties?

 

After the work is finished offer him a cold beverage and after some small talk ask him if he'd be up for you buying him dinner. His reaction might give you a clear indication? You've already made a lot more progress than I think I could by approaching him at the local nursery and asking him to do some work at your house. I couldn't imagine doing that but maybe I should be wondering why I think its so difficult.

[MiamiLooker]

I have some heavy property work I need help with and approached a cute college student working at a local nursery and he is coming over Sunday to give me a hand. Naturally I would like to hire him for bigger and better things. Sure I know the correct answer is that approaching str8 guys is risky and I should stick with well reviewed personnel on this site. Given that I seem to gravitate toward risk, do you have any suggestions on how to bring the subject up of a willingness to hire for more than yard duties?

 

Does he know you're gay?

[+ FreshFluff]

The analogous situation would make me very uncomfortable, especially if I was on the turf of the person who was paying me. I would go slowly: Bring out two beers after he's done and talk for a while. Ask about his life, whether he has a girlfriend. If you're not absolutely sure he's receptive, let it go for now and then see how he responds if you hire him again.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

I have some heavy property work I need help with and approached a cute college student...

 

Dude, this is a bad idea. It may not be the King Of Bad Ideas, but it's still a bad idea.

 

I think before you do anything, you should sit down and try to predict how a straight, probably immature college student will react to an unexpected sexual advance (for money) from someone of the same sex.

 

He might think: cool. He might not. And while risk may be exciting—having to explain all of this to the cops if this goes wrong could be very, very awkward. I'm certainly not trying to be your parent, but I don't want to read about you in the papers either. Consider both sides of the equation before you do anything, and remember that it's for a "cute" college student, and not the male equivalent of Helen of Troy.

[Zapped]

Go very slow with this, and you'll each pick up on the signals the other is sending. It will be interesting to see how this turns out.

 

A cute guy I initially hired to do yard work for me some years ago ended up enjoying having his dick sucked while he watched straight porn on the computer. It took a while to establish a friendly relationship and get to where there was an opening to make this happen. The fact that he was a broke not-quite-straight guy helped, too.

[rvwnsd]

I have some heavy property work I need help with and approached a cute college student working at a local nursery and he is coming over Sunday to give me a hand. Naturally I would like to hire him for bigger and better things...

 

You do not want to mix business with pleasure. If I may ask, how would you feel if you were the college student who was doing work for a man and that man (your boss for the day) approached you about doing "bigger and better things?"

 

To put it more directly and succinctly: don't approach him to do any more than the heavy property work. Doing so is a VERY bad idea.

[Zapped]

And Chris is probably correct.

[+ quoththeraven]

I'm with the naysayers on this one. This is the stuff of porn, not real life. You're trading on a power imbalance here with someone you don't know. It could go really badly.

 

Also, do you really want to play into the stereotype of the gay guy trying to manipulate or coerce a str8 guy into bed?

[+ azdr0710]

if you must try this, I'd, first, get very involved in the Sunday work yourself with him so it looks like you really needed his help......chat him up very casually during the work - nothing even remotely creepy-sounding!.....if it all goes well and he seems happy and relaxed, see if the dinner thing sparks his interest, but keep it along a Chipotle level for dinner, NOT some wine-and-candlelight place!!!!......see how things are after that, but don't be a creepy dude!!......

[Bryanforservice]

This only works out well in porn......

[marylander1940]

I'm with the naysayers on this one. This is the stuff of porn, not real life. You're trading on a power imbalance here with someone you don't know. It could go really badly.

 

Also, do you really want to play into the stereotype of the gay guy trying to manipulate or coerce a str8 guy into bed?

 

Exactly!

 

This only works out well in porn......

 

He might even sue you for sexual harassment, besides if you had a straight son/nephew would you like one of his would-be-employers do that to them? What about your daughter or other female member of the family.

 

Call an escort!

 

Dude, this is a bad idea. It may not be the King Of Bad Ideas, but it's still a bad idea.

 

I think before you do anything, you should sit down and try to predict how a straight, probably immature college student will react to an unexpected sexual advance (for money) from someone of the same sex.

 

He might think: cool. He might not. And while risk may be exciting—having to explain all of this to the cops if this goes wrong could be very, very awkward. I'm certainly not trying to be your parent, but I don't want to read about you in the papers either. Consider both sides of the equation before you do anything, and remember that it's for a "cute" college student, and not the male equivalent of Helen of Troy.

 

Wanna explain it to a Lawyer and a Judge instead?

 

If the school is involved as a mediator (for presenting you the student) that would be a heck of a lawsuit, now a days anybody could turn his cellphone into a "hot microphone"...

[rvwnsd]

This only works out well in porn......

 

You hit the nail right on the head. However, in more than one porn it didn't work as intended for the employer.

[Zapped]

I think we all agree it is a bad idea to hire a guy to do yard work and then straight up offer to pay him for sex.

 

While I did have a situation where a guy who did yard work for me ended up having some sexual encounters with me, it was only after we had developed a friendly relationship. I had come out to him, etc., he had given some signals he was interested, and it was a mutually agreeable situation. That's why I said above to go very slowly.

 

Thinking back, I did not hire my yard guy with any initial hope or fantasy of having sex with him (or the guy he was working with). It developed in an unexpected way.

 

It is a very bad idea to hire someone to do work for you if what you are actually intending is to seduce him or offer him money for sex. You could easily end up with an angry and/or somewhat traumatized young man on your hands, as others have pointed out more eloquently than I.

 

As to some other points:

 

If he's a college student working at a nursery and you met him there, the school isn't involved. But if you directly proposition him, and he shares the incident with staff at the school, it's possible they could contact authorities on his behalf. It depends on the size of the school, the size of your city or town, whether he's undergrad or grad, the perspective and policies of the student affairs/services staff, etc.

 

Meanwhile, how do you know he's straight? There are good-looking masculine guys who are gay, bi and curious. I've had students who I worked with for four years and had no clue they were gay until they came out some time after graduation. (And many more who I knew were gay long before they came out to themselves.)

[+ purplekow]

I have some heavy property work I need help with and approached a cute college student working at a local nursery and he is coming over Sunday to give me a hand. Naturally I would like to hire him for bigger and better things. Sure I know the correct answer is that approaching str8 guys is risky and I should stick with well reviewed personnel on this site. Given that I seem to gravitate toward risk, do you have any suggestions on how to bring the subject up of a willingness to hire for more than yard duties?

I think you are going about this all wrong. Consider hiring someone for sex and then ask if he would consider doing yard work. That way, if you get turned down, you still got laid. The way you are doing it, all you get is a clean yard.

[sincitymix]

I think you are going about this all wrong. Consider hiring someone for sex and then ask if he would consider doing yard work. That way, if you get turned down, you still got laid. The way you are doing it, all you get is a clean yard.

You can always tell him you get turned on by yardwork, watching those muscles glistening with sweat under the hot sun.

[jakeleyman]

Thank you for taking the time to respond to my question. I thought there would be a few suggestions to follow logical, legal and ethical values, and appreciate that advice. You have made some important points and expressed them in creative ways; however, I am surprised how few of you suggest 'going for it.' I actually need the physical help, as I have a huge fallen tree which has been cut up with a chain saw. Each piece must be loaded by two people and wheel-barrowed to the street and stacked for city pick-up. So I will be closely (very closely) working with this cute guy all afternoon in a sweaty operation. I need the help, but I crave the eye candy and proximity. I like the suggestions to have a couple beers and ask about his personal life. He is about 5-10 / 145 and immediately caught my attention in his t-shirt and jeans. He quickly accepted my offer of work and said he needs it. He thinks I am str8 but may be reflecting on why I chose him, as there were a couple dozen guys working there. I do not think that many of you are waiting on pins and needles, but I will let you know how this works out.

[marylander1940]

The diamond on the rough, the starving student from craigslist or grindr who wants help and will give sex in exchange...

 

That's a recipe for a "Donovan House Hotel" incident.

 

if I was you I would get professional help, for the tree and your needs under your pants too.

[Gar1eth]

My question is why would you even think he would be amenable to this situation? And what if he takes real offense at the slight to his manhood, and starts something physical? It just sounds like a bad deal all around to me.

 

Gman

[+ WilliamM]

I actually need the physical help, as I have a huge fallen tree which has been cut up with a chain saw. Each piece must be loaded by two people and wheel-barrowed to the street and stacked for city pick-up. So I will be closely (very closely) working with this cute guy all afternoon in a sweaty operation. I need the help, but I crave the eye candy and proximity. I like the suggestions to have a couple beers and ask about his personal life. He is about 5-10 / 145 and immediately caught my attention in his t-shirt and jeans. He quickly accepted my offer of work and said he needs it. He thinks I am str8 but may be reflecting on why I chose him, as there were a couple dozen guys working there.

 

I would have asked the owner or boss to suggest three possible people there to help you with the huge fallen tree. If this student is one of the three, you have some cover in picking him. Then go very slowly in finding out if he is gay or 'willling.' I realize you have already made your move, but I agree that he may be reflecting on why you chose him, thus my response

[+ purplekow]

I would have asked the owner or boss to suggest three possible people there to help you with the huge fallen tree. If this student is one of the three, you have some cover in picking him. Then go very slowly in finding out if he is gay or 'willling.' I realize you have already made your move, but I agree that he may be reflecting on why you chose him, thus my response

 

This is not a situation where the wallflower was picked to dance with the king of the prom. This is a yard job for a guy who works at a nursery. I would bet he has given it little or no thought as to why he was picked. Before offering him beer, I would be sure he is of age to drink, as you do not want him driving drunk on your beer. Of course, before even considering doing anything about a sexual encounter, I would make sure he is of age there too. There are college students who are under 18 and that could present another big mess.

Since you seem to be intent on trying this, I would go the Anne Bancroft technique. Get him into the bedroom, roll down the black stockings and show him some leg. "Mr. Jakeleyman, are you trying to seduce me?"

[+ quoththeraven]

Unless you get very definite indications of interest, don't do anything other than socialise at this meet. Invest the time to get to know him 1st. Otherwise you look like a creep who hired him for needed yard work (as oppose to someone else) solely because you wanted to bed him.

 

Another stray thought: what if you were straight and you were hiring a college girl you wanted to bed? (Let's ignore the fact that heavy duty yard work may not be a girl's forte.) If that sounds creepy and inappropriate, so is this.