Why we pay??

[Tonyko]

THOU FROM ANOTHER THREAD THOUGHT I'D RESPOND SEPARATELY TO THIS RESPONSE FROM A MEMBER TO MY POST, SINCE I'M SURE IT'S OFTEN ASKED OF MANY OF US.

 

If you're in such a great shape why do you pay for sex, you should be able to get it for free.

 

MY BOD? I can work my ass off on that yes. But FACE? (my prof says 40's don't know WHY I still lie lol) but I'm in my 50's now and there's NOOOOO hiding it. AND I refuse to have "work" like many of my buds who look ridiculous (and asian) now, MEN should stay away from surgery. And I DON'T have to tell anyone here HOW invisible this age bracket is in any cruise bar setting. We blend into the walls and disappear. I like younger guys. And NONE of the ones I look at look back. (unless I happen to look like a friend of their Dad's they know) THAT'S why I pay :-) To get what I want. And I know I can't be alone on this :-)

 

Please don't take this site too personal.

 

Good advice and I will take it thanks :-) http://s12.postimg.org/sndtl4mgt/moi.jpg

[+ purplekow]

The main reason why men pay is ease.

I think the main reason why men in their 40s and 50s are invisible in bars is that most men in gay bars are in their 20s and stupid about what makes a great lover. I am a better lover than I was 10 years ago and after 2 recent sessions with Tyger and one with Mr. Draker, I am a better lover than I was 10 days ago. You are never too old to learn a new trick or two but experience and technique are more satisfying than youth and blind groping. Young men who think they have tried everything, are my favorite ones to show how it can be done, how one may be amazing and be on the other side of 30, 40, 50 and even 60.

[+ Funguy]

the main reason why men pay is ease.

I think the main reason why men in their 40s and 50s are invisible in bars is that most men in gay bars are in their 20s and stupid about what makes a great lover. I am a better lover than i was 10 years ago and after 2 recent sessions with tyger and one with mr. Draker, i am a better lover than i was 10 days ago. You are never too old to learn a new trick or two but experience and technique are more satisfying than youth and blind groping. Young men who think they have tried everything, are my favorite ones to show how it can be done, how one may be amazing and be on the other side of 30, 40, 50 and even 60.

 

amen, pk! or is it ah! men!

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

You are never too old to learn a new trick or two but experience and technique are more satisfying than youth and blind groping.

 

PK - exactly why I hired the first time or two: to learn - not only how to be a better partner but also what I like and do not like.

 

Now I hire sometimes to try something new, but mostly because I need a break from my career.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

...but also what I like and do not like.

 

One of the best things I've taken away from my experiences. As far as the statement about blending into the wallpaper—get out in the middle of the room and work it.

 

It ain't rocket science.

[TruHart1]

Why I Pay for It!

 

I found that hiring escorts who look hot and attractive to me has greatly increased my confidence level. My first hiring experience, I was a nervous newbie mess. I hired a really intelligent beautiful man (model face and body) and upon meeting him, I have no idea how he moved me into the sexual part of that first encounter, I was so afraid. I mean, I really wanted him but I was very worried that he would see me out of my clothes and be repulsed and reject me out-of-hand.

 

He was the opposite of that in every way. I even apologized to him at one point of our encounter during the sex. After we were finished and cleaned up, he sat me down beside himself (we were still naked) and chided me about my apology for my perceived shortcomings. He was very nice about it but basically read me the riot act about telling any future escorts how ugly, inept, overweight or ugly I might view myself.

 

He gave me the advice to just own that I DO have qualities that are attractive to other men, saying he found not only my thoughts and opinions attractive but also certain physical things about me a real turn-on for him! When we parted, he told me to feel free to call him to catch up or ask advice anytime. I took all of this to heart, even though it was sometimes difficult not to feel low self-esteem with new guys, but over the years his advice has really proved sound and my self-confidence has continually improved!

 

I still keep in touch and hire him periodically and he always makes me feel wonderful! I think that is the main reason I stayed with this hobby. If my first escort had been a bad experience, I doubt I would have kept hiring. I just seem to thrive on the positive interaction I get from hiring an escort who gives me a really great BFE!

 

TruHart1

[+ FreshFluff]

The main reason why men pay is ease.

I think the main reason why men in their 40s and 50s are invisible in bars is that most men in gay bars are in their 20s and stupid about what makes a great lover. I am a better lover than I was 10 years ago and after 2 recent sessions with Tyger and one with Mr. Draker, I am a better lover than I was 10 days ago. You are never too old to learn a new trick or two but experience and technique are more satisfying than youth and blind groping. Young men who think they have tried everything, are my favorite ones to show how it can be done, how one may be amazing and be on the other side of 30, 40, 50 and even 60.

 

Based on whave I've read here, I agree. Most men can attract at least some proportion of the guys they are interested in. But it's far quicker for a man to pick up the phone and hire than to have to go through a mating dance and seduce multiple guys in order to get one of them.

 

I think men also hire for guilt-free and hassle-free sexual variety or to fulfill a specific fantasy.

 

MY BOD? I can work my ass off on that yes. But FACE? (my prof says 40's don't know WHY I still lie lol) but I'm in my 50's now and there's NOOOOO hiding it. AND I refuse to have "work" like many of my buds who look ridiculous (and asian) now, MEN should stay away from surgery. And I DON'T have to tell anyone here HOW invisible this age bracket is in any cruise bar setting. We blend into the walls and disappear. I like younger guys. And NONE of the ones I look at look back. (unless I happen to look like a friend of their Dad's they know) THAT'S why I pay :-) To get what I want. And I know I can't be alone on this :-)

 

Your friends who had facelifts look Asian now?

 

If you have a great body, you are way ahead of the game. Make sure your clothes show it off!

[+ Gar1eth]

I initially hired because I was a virgin at 41. I thought there was a good chance I might die before I got up the courage to have sex. But I was still upset at being gay, and had no plans to try to date or anything. Now, or at least when I was able to hire , I continued to hire because while I was willing and interested in dating, no one that I was attracted to really seemed interested in me. A guy wouldn't have to be as handsome or in as good a shape as most escorts for me to be attracted to him- but I'm not interested usually in guys with my physique. They can be bears-just not as bearish as me. But since no one has really been interested, I might as well hire (or hired) handsome guys. I wonder all the time if I had been able to accept being gay when I was younger and had the 'normal' sexual experiences a young guy should have whether I ever would have hired to begin with. Of course if I hadn't, I never would have made the (Internet ) acquaintances of all you fine gentlemen and ladies.

 

Gman

[adriano46]

Why I hire? My career, my job and my work schedule preclude spending time in bars meeting guys or checking in on Gaydar and other social sites to "meet someone" and really invest the time needed for a LTR. I have adapted to the job-career thing long ago and am now at an age where an abrupt change is just not an option (and by the time it would be, I'd long be retired).

 

So I hire because it is convenient, less complicated, and offers an exciting challenge and adventure meeting someone new, different and yes, sexually available. I have been very content to meet a few guys who have taught me that what I most seek (and most enjoy) are encounters with older men, mature men, men comfortable in their own (sexy) skin who have experience both outside and inside the bedroom, and who can stimulate me on many levels. Like the over-used phrase, they are like a very fine wine and gets better as it ages.

 

Younger guys are interesting to watch, interesting to day-dream about, but when it comes to investing my own time and resources, I prefer what will be for me a "sure thing" with a man (*not a twink, not a jock, although I prefer an athletic man) and weather hairy or smooth, no big deal: just a man who is safe, sane, mature, sure of himself, and grounded. If those qualities mean I have to open my wallet and pay - then I am up for it.

[Tonyko]

Your friends who had facelifts look Asian now?

 

Yes lol. Their eyes are pulled sideways, men and facelifts are a bad combo. (a little slit to remove the fat under the eye, THAT works fine, but they shouldn't go the whole Enchalada :-)

 

If you have a great body, you are way ahead of the game. Make sure your clothes show it off!

 

No matter HOW great a shape you're in and how you dress to show it, I personally never make it past the "second glance" stage from younger guys "I" am attracted to in bars. (first glance is " Hmm that looks interesting", second glance is the "upon closer inspection" one, where they say nope too old lol. Personally I think we as a tribe, and by we I mean MEN, STRAIGHT and gay, are programmed that way. A bud my age I hang with is to me an adonis, 6ft super handsome AND a semi-celeb who's all over the press and TV , and HE fares NO better than me with younger guys lol. BUT if he walked into a str8 bar, women in their 20's and 30's would be all over him. That's the truth :-)

RE WHY I REALLY HIRE?? BEING BRUTALLY HONEST HERE WARTS AND ALL:

 

1 - When an escort meets me they often think I'm little bit of a catch. Of course they are being PAID, they're doing their job, and they would never get with me otherwise, but it's like a decent meal in a crappy restaurant, I'm judged on another scale. And they make me FEEL like a catch, which I rarely do anymore. They make me feel good about myself. Even if it's BS, it feels good :-)

 

2 - Having been, when I was VERY young, on the receiving end of the proverbial chase around the desk by older guys from TV Dads to an Oscar winning actor (but not at that time) to various Hollywood types where the desk was a pool (like at Rock Hudson's but NOT Rock he was a gentleman), I SWORE that I would never be one of "those" guys when I got older. Making a fool of myself like I see many guys my age doing, buying drinks and fawning over young guys who are not interested OR only interested in what they can get out of you. So cutting to the bottom line and paying for it is how I stave that off and avoid embarrassing myself. (and getting hurt) Thaz the truth.

[+ Gar1eth]

Your friends who had facelifts look Asian now?

 

Yes lol. Their eyes are pulled sideways, men and facelifts are a bad combo. (a little slit to remove the fat under the eye, THAT works fine, but they shouldn't go the whole Enchalada :-)

 

If you have a great body, you are way ahead of the game. Make sure your clothes show it off!

 

No matter HOW great a shape you're in and how you dress to show it, I personally never make it past the "second glance" stage from younger guys "I" am attracted to in bars. (first glance is " Hmm that looks interesting", second glance is the "upon closer inspection" one, where they say nope too old lol. Personally I think we as a tribe, and by we I mean MEN, STRAIGHT and gay, are programmed that way. A bud my age I hang with is to me an adonis, 6ft super handsome AND a semi-celeb who's all over the press and TV , and HE fares NO better than me with younger guys lol. BUT if he walked into a str8 bar, women in their 20's and 30's would be all over him. That's the truth :-)

RE WHY I REALLY HIRE?? BEING BRUTALLY HONEST HERE WARTS AND ALL:

 

1 - When an escort meets me they often think I'm little bit of a catch. Of course they are being PAID, they're doing their job, and they would never get with me otherwise, but it's like a decent meal in a crappy restaurant, I'm judged on another scale. And they make me FEEL like a catch, which I rarely do anymore. They make me feel good about myself. Even if it's BS, it feels good :-)

 

2 - Having been, when I was VERY young, on the receiving end of the proverbial chase around the desk by older guys from TV Dads to an Oscar winning actor (but not at that time) to various Hollywood types where the desk was a pool (like at Rock Hudson's but NOT Rock he was a gentleman), I SWORE that I would never be one of "those" guys when I got older. Making a fool of myself like I see many guys my age doing, buying drinks and fawning over young guys who are not interested OR only interested in what they can get out of you. So cutting to the bottom line and paying for it is how I stave that off and avoid embarrassing myself. (and getting hurt) Thaz the truth.

 

Obviously nothing is 100%. But two escorts of my acquaintance both probably in their 40's both muscular both with reviews on this site have talked with me about having college age F-Buddies. I know one had several possibly both did. And these guys were talking about athletic college guys not out of shape guys. One of the college guys was a rower. Maybe a gym rather than a bar is a better place? Coach Locker Room Fantasy anyone?

 

Gman

[Amoco]

Is anyone aware of anything written about this whole gay escort thing from the perspective of the client? I've seen all of the escort driven material but have yet to see anything from another perspective. For those of us who came late to the party, I think there is almost unanimous agreement that the impact on their life, one way or another, has been profound. Just curious...

 

Separately, and acknowledging that generalizations are often unfair to individuals, my best sexual experiences have been with older escorts rather than the young ones - and I don't think that's because I'm older (61), too. For me, their greater life experience translates into an enhanced understanding of how to connect in a meaningful way, a deeper understanding of human sexuality, and greater peace with who they are. That doesn't mean that I'm not titillated by a beautiful younger guy, I am, but I can honestly say that beauty has receded into the background as a priority for most of my hiring. Instead, I look for smart creative guys with a lot of experience who are described by others as passionate and capable of conveying real desire. Are there young guys who can do that? Of course - for me, Kyle Vong comes to mind as being young, ripped, and a consistently extraordinary lover, but guys under 30 like him are rare. (maybe I should add Russ and GingerJack, too?)

 

All that said, sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't. The greatest part of the escort experience has been the variety - finding regulars that consistently deliver high quality, connected, passionate sex, and adding in the occasional outlier that brings something different to the table. Further, my whole gay escort experience has supported the notion that monogamy is not natural, whether you're married or hiring escorts or just hooking up from CL.

[Epigonos]

For me, at least, it was and is an easy decision. I started hiring and continue to do so for TWO reasons:

 

1. It's easy.

 

2. I can hire a guy who totally appeals to me physically.

[+ FreshFluff]

Ha, I now understand what you mean about the fake Asian look.

 

No matter HOW great a shape you're in and how you dress to show it, I personally never make it past the "second glance" stage from younger guys "I" am attracted to in bars. (first glance is " Hmm that looks interesting", second glance is the "upon closer inspection" one, where they say nope too old lol. Personally I think we as a tribe, and by we I mean MEN, STRAIGHT and gay, are programmed that way.

 

Unfortunately, I think you're right, though a lot depends on the competition. We can only hope that plastic surgery technology develops a little in the next ten or twenty years so we can all look young and fresh at a reasonable price--without becoming Mickey Rooney.

 

A bud my age I hang with is to me an adonis, 6ft super handsome AND a semi-celeb who's all over the press and TV , and HE fares NO better than me with younger guys lol. BUT if he walked into a str8 bar, women in their 20's and 30's would be all over him. That's the truth :-)

 

I wonder if it would be as bad if you lived anywhere other than LA.? The dating scene in LA is famously challenging for straight women, and I wonder if the same is true for gay men. There are so many (naturally or unnaturally) great-looking people to compete with, even compared to Manhattan.

[namchebaz]

You are never too old to learn a new trick or two

 

Why pay? Easy.

 

Building confidence.

Learning new tricks.

Living the fantasy of going home with the hottest boy in the room.

 

And the gentlemen I've been with are not just good at sex; they're smart, fun, can talk about pretty much anything, and act interested and engaged.

 

In fact, on Friday, I had a date...(ok, it was a scruff hookup). And when we were done he looked up and said, "Where did you learn to do THAT???"

 

heh heh...I've had some good teachers and I'm a quick study.

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

In fact, on Friday, I had a date...(ok, it was a scruff hookup). And when we were done he looked up and said, "Where did you learn to do THAT???"

 

Please don't tease us. What did you do and where do I learn it?

[namchebaz]

Please don't tease us. What did you do and where do I learn it?

 

 

Sam.f,

Well what I did involved a ball stretcher (Ft. Troff ball bender to be specific), some lube, both hands, and my tongue. Your imagination will probably get you close. As far as how you learn it...It'd probably be best for me to just show you hahaha!!

[Rudynate]

To get THAT MAN. I'm 62 and I don't need to pay - men my own age. Which is great, since I am attracted to men my own age. Could I get, say, Alec Andrews without paying? Probably not. Also, for me, hiring has an erotic charge all its own. One of my biggest fantasies as a twenty-something was to hire Gordon Grant to fuck me silly. I advise contemporaries who have problems connecting, for whatever reason, to consider hiring, but most of them take the position that they "don't pay for sex." To each his own, but to me sex is sex. And paying has gotten me some great sex that I probably wouldn't have gotten without paying.

[tom1980]

I started off paying because I wanted to hook up with hot guys without investing a lot of time. I also assumed that no hot guys would be interested in me unless I paid them. Since then, I've learned that there are guys who are willing to hook up with me for free (some pretty hot, but most not).

 

I continue hiring because it's convenient and it's the best way for me to hookup with really hot guys. Also, it's practically impossible for a guy like me to find a good top without hiring an escort. I can post an ad on craigslist advertising as a top and get responses from a dozen guys, but post as a bottom and get nothing.

[marylander1940]

Obviously nothing is 100%. But two escorts of my acquaintance both probably in their 40's both muscular both with reviews on this site have talked with me about having college age F-Buddies. I know one had several possibly both did. And these guys were talking about athletic college guys not out of shape guys. One of the college guys was a rower. Maybe a gym rather than a bar is a better place? Coach Locker Room Fantasy anyone?

 

Gman

 

Yes, middle age guys (someone in his 40's is middle age) who look like pornstars style DILFs and bears get plenty of young men.

 

Pornstar/escort style bear

 

 

Pornstar/escort style DILF

 

http://i50.tinypic.com/1267k7r.jpg

[down_to_business]

You will find that people do not all hire for the same reasons. What is important is that you don't let this little hobby be the excuse for not going out in the world and find real relationships (friends, lovers, fuck buddies, whatever). It can be easy to do when you have a good-looking escort who makes you the center of attention for the hour or evening or weekend etc.

[Rudynate]

You will find that people do not all hire for the same reasons. What is important is that you don't let this little hobby be the excuse for not going out in the world and find real relationships (friends, lovers, fuck buddies, whatever). It can be easy to do when you have a good-looking escort who makes you the center of attention for the hour or evening or weekend etc.

 

But if you have the wherewithal, why shouldn't you maintain a hothouse environment around yourself if you want to? There would be a danger that you might start believing your own myth, but I don't see anything else wrong with it.

[marylander1940]

....If you're in such a great shape why do you pay for sex, you should be able to get it for free.

 

...We blend into the walls and disappear. I like younger guys. And NONE of the ones I look at look back. (unless I happen to look like a friend of their Dad's they know) THAT'S why I pay :-) To get what I want. And I know I can't be alone on this :-)

 

http://s12.postimg.org/sndtl4mgt/moi.jpg

 

First of all, great pic, wonderful body!

 

I've never been in such a great shape as you are!

 

Congratulations.

 

I've already answer why I pay and it's because I'm old, I've been paying since the 60's, but money is the only way for me to get sex with hot young men since the 80's.

 

Let me make an observation if you were straight you wouldn't have the same issue, you'd be getting plenty of pussy. I don't know who told daddy's little girl and women of all ages to open their legs on the 2nd or 3rd date but that was an ill advice. In big cities with so many gay men out of the closet, women are used and passed from one guy to another if they're lucky and hot, so many of them are just left behind because they can't compete.

 

Is like the world has turned gay, and promiscuity is the norm in straight relationships.

 

Women except in fracking towns in North Dakota and Alaska are desperate for men.

 

If I was straight maybe I would have paid in my late teens and 20's, but now after the new normal of sex on demand with women and their desperation, I'd be getting it for free and plenty. You with such a hot body even more than me.

 

I'll send you an email to let you know I've quoted you again.

 

Nice thread!

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

Sam.f,

Well what I did involved a ball stretcher (Ft. Troff ball bender to be specific), some lube, both hands, and my tongue. Your imagination will probably get you close. As far as how you learn it...It'd probably be best for me to just show you hahaha!!

 

Namchebaz - thanks, the imagination is running. I'll take you up on the demo!

[+ FreshFluff]

' look ridiculous (and Asian) '

 

On the other hand in some cases this will be an improvement in their appearance. Did you ever consider your comment racist?

 

I think he just meant their eyes look pulled in an unnatural way. Any surgery that changes their features or skin color dramatically is going to look odd, at best. Look at Michael Jackson.