If an escort (for overnight) asks: "What are you into sexually?"....

[bcohen7719]

....do you find this helpful, in the sense that ones's

cards are on the table, or are you sort of startled,

and prefer to just take things slow and get to know

each other first?

 

BC

[bigvalboy]

....do you find this helpful, in the sense that ones's

cards are on the table, or are you sort of startled,

and prefer to just take things slow and get to know

each other first?

 

BC

 

 

The more the escort knows about me and what turns me on, the more fun that will be had by all. The escort is the professional, and it is his job to satisfy the client. He can't do that unless he knows what satisfies me. Clearly the majority of escorts I have been with, have asked me what I was into beforehand.

 

AND the flip side to that is also true. If a discussion takes place that includes discussing ones sexual desires, and as a client, in the course of that conversation, I find out what the escort is into also, then helping him get turned on is always a nice plus... IMO anyway.

[rvwnsd]

....do you find this helpful, in the sense that ones's

cards are on the table, or are you sort of startled,

and prefer to just take things slow and get to know

each other first?

 

BC

 

Typically, I tell the escort what I am into during our first communication. I find good communication makes for a great session.

[down_to_business]

While this isn't my favorite question to answer, I will usually respond in general terms. The reason I don't like it is that often its followed by either send me a picture of you or what do you look like. If that does follow, I end it right then and there letting them know we are not going to be a good match.

 

I think the question is unnecessary if the escort has honestly placed his advertisement (i.e. answered the sections on rentboy: Tastes / Specialties / Fetishes and Sexual Position etc.). If this has not been discussed at all and you have no idea of the interests of the man you are considering hiring, then I agree it is better to know this prior to agreeing to meet or it could lead to an incompatible and or uncomfortable session.

[+ purplekow]

Not a fan of this question as my tastes vary from session to session and partner to partner. I can recall spending nearly 45 minutes working over the feet of an escort who managed to intensely orgasm from the manipulations. I am not usually into feet and most usually give only passing, if any, attention to them during an encounter. As soon as we started it was clear the the feet were a hot spot for this escort and I immensely enjoyed bringing him to completion using just his feet. I was so excited by this, that I needed very little encouragement to climax. I say this, as I would never say I am into feet if asked about preferences.

Usually with this question, I simply say, I do not enjoy bottoming and I do not enjoy pain that is painful but that there is a line that he can look for there. Other than that, I am up for anything and will let him know if something is not working for me.

[wisconsinguy]

And, if an escort asks that question, and it will be your first experience, (which is coming up shortly), what does one say? I have definite ideas what I would like to happen. But, from what I hear from escorts in the forum is just tell him that. He will understand, and just relax and enjoy the ride? I am positive the gentleman that I will be with will do just that. If an escort were to ask me. "what am I into?" At his point I'd have to say "dah, teach me master."

[+ poolboy48220]

At his point I'd have to say "dah, teach me master."

Which could be a hot scene in itself.

 

I welcome that question, it means the escort's serious, and also that they're willing to discuss that type of thing beforehand.

[adriano46]

Personally appreciate an escort who cares enough to ask about me and what I would like, or how I see the date unfolding, and it provides me an opening (after the initial encounter where I am more interested in seeing about his interest and availability) to now go into more detail.

[Epigonos]

After initially establishing contact with an escort, I in my second email, to him, state very clearly what my social and sexual expectations are. I want to know ASAP that these expectations do or do not work for him. If they don't then I would rather know right up front rather than get together with the guy and risk disappointed. It is also important to me that the escort lets me know, I usually bring this subject up during dinner prior to our intimate time together, what I can do to get him really hot and bothered and revved up.

 

There is no secret to having a positive experience with a good escort – it is communication, communication and more communication.

[wisconsinguy]

After initially establishing contact with an escort, I in my second email, to him, state very clearly what my social and sexual expectations are. I want to know ASAP that these expectations do or do not work for him. If they don't then I would rather know right up front rather than get together with the guy and risk disappointed. It is also important to me that the escort lets me know, I usually bring this subject up during dinner prior to our intimate time together, what I can do to get him really hot and bothered and revved up.

 

There is no secret to having a positive experience with a good escort – it is communication, communication and more communication.

I like the idea of dinner prior. That was part of my plan. As I said, first encounter coming up. Also, the idea of asking what makes them excited really appeals to me. Both sensually for myself, and I hope for the escort.

[adriano46]

I like the idea of dinner prior. That was part of my plan. As I said, first encounter coming up. Also, the idea of asking what makes them excited really appeals to me. Both sensually for myself, and I hope for the escort.

 

I have found that escorts respond better when you show an interest in them too - as persons, not sex objects. We know we hire them for the latter, but keeping in mind the former is very helpful towards a truly great experience.

[wisconsinguy]

I have found that escorts respond better when you show an interest in them too - as persons, not sex objects. We know we hire them for the latter, but keeping in mind the former is very helpful towards a truly great experience.

I agree with you 110%. I am going to give myself a little credit here. Almost all the individuals I have come in contact within my decades of existence, acquaintances or my thousands of clients from my profession. I have always wanted to make some sort of human connection. We ALL come from a history. If we spend sometimes just seconds, just in passing, it gives me a feeling of being connected. To What? That could be entire new thread. As far as I am concerned. I would never want anyone to feel I am probing. AND, I live by my daily rule: "What is said here, stays here." So after years of thinking about this too much, I know I have make a great decision. Going to see my first fella end of Jan. Sometimes I still feel like I want to puke though!!!

1

[Steven_Draker]

I think the question is unnecessary if the escort has honestly placed his advertisement (i.e. answered the sections on rentboy: Tastes / Specialties / Fetishes and Sexual Position etc.). If this has not been discussed at all and you have no idea of the interests of the man you are considering hiring, then I agree it is better to know this prior to agreeing to meet ...

 

Try to put yourself in the escort's shoes.

 

Answering the tastes/interests/specialties in Rentboy doesn't give any info about the CLIENT's interests. Interests can vary greatly! Go from general to more specific. This is about the client and the client's needs.

 

Come to think of it: in some cases a prep work is necessary. Therefore I find "What are you into?" a very practical question. If you don't communicate properly, don't expect your escort to be a mindreader.

[leigh.bess.toad]

teach me master."

 

Which is actually sort of the relationship I've had with Legendary Dave since day 1, almost three years ago. At my suggestion. I sometimes make suggestions, but as a general rule, it's however, he wants to play. The only stipulation is that any question I ask, I get the complete and total truth. And in many ways, this has served me very well. Since Dave is so versatile, it has led me to become versatile as well. In ways I never would have imagined. Ways I wouldn't have been if I had gone into sessions with escorts saying I want to do "x, y or z". I've found out that I enjoy a lot more things that I would ever have dreamed of. So now when meeting guys on the hookup sites and they ask "what are you into", I can honestly tell them lots of things. It opens up a lot of possibilities for playmates.

 

As far as the OP's original question, I certainly find the question useful. And sharing as much about me makes our time better. And yes, I know that escorts who have been with me before also answer questions about me when they are approached by a new hire I have. And I have no problem with that either. And I also want to know what turns on the new escort I'm hiring as well since for me, our time together is about us, not about me.

 

So tell him what you like to do. But if you're willing, maybe tell him you're willing to explore a bit what he might like too. You might like it.

[down_to_business]

Try to put yourself in the escort's shoes.

 

Answering the tastes/interests/specialties in Rentboy doesn't give any info about the CLIENT's interests. Interests can vary greatly! Go from general to more specific. This is about the client and the client's needs.

 

Come to think of it: in some cases a prep work is necessary. Therefore I find "What are you into?" a very practical question. If you don't communicate properly, don't expect your escort to be a mindreader. [/color]

 

Completely understand your point of view, but the question is not as easy to deal with as you think.

 

What I am into with one person does not mean I am into the same thing with another person. It could depend on the chemistry, the day, so many other factors I can't even mention. Two examples : If the chemistry is right or I develop a strong attraction, I like to kiss-- but if it is not right, or I am not really into the partner, I don't like to kiss. Saying I am into "kissing" could make an awkward encounter if I have no desire to kiss the person who shows up and he spends a lot of time and effort trying to kiss me. Likewise, my desire to explore anal at all could be influenced the day of an encounter because of a mild stomach ache or back pain. When I made the appointment I had no idea that 2 weeks later, when we are actually meeting, that I would have mild back pain. I can't win no matter how I answer your question. If I say I might be into kissing and I might be into anal but I might not, you will think I am a total flake. Some things are better left to the moment and the chemistry of the session. Are things going to be better if I have to tell you in the middle of a session that I know I said I like kissing but (sorry) I do not want to kiss you ? Or maybe I am just the kind of person who is lousy at expressing himself verbally or specifically sexually. Maybe I answer the question to graphically and drive you away. Maybe I don't answer the question in enough detail.

 

I still contend that if you accurately answer the questions on your ad (i.e. that you are a top and your into kissing) and I am basically a vanilla client who enjoys anal on occasions and kissing if the chemistry is right- that we should have no problems in our session if I want to be fucked and kissed. I also agree 100% that if (for example) I wanted you to show up dressed in leather, I should give you instruction prior to our meeting.

 

I wouldn't expect an escort to be a mind reader, but there is no reason communication can't take place during the session and that an escort couldn't pick-up on verbal cues or otherwise, especially if the things I want to do are in line with what you express in your ad.

[JT Brooklyn]

Personally appreciate an escort who cares enough to ask about me and what I would like, or how I see the date unfolding, and it provides me an opening (after the initial encounter where I am more interested in seeing about his interest and availability) to now go into more detail.

 

Totally Agree especially on an OverNiter! Even during a short "Session"..always good to know you will more or less get what you PAID for!

[Decatur Guy]

I try to avoid scripting the scene ahead of time, but I do like for the escort to know what I enjoy and I like to find out as much as I can of what he enjoys (and that he'll talk about -- some are cautious about that).

 

But I like to leave room for pleasant surprises and go-with-the-flow moments. I usually manage to lay my cards out on the table without completely predetermining how the hand will be played.

[Guest]

I wouldn't expect an escort to be a mind reader, but there is no reason communication can't take place during the session and that an escort couldn't pick-up on verbal cues or otherwise, especially if the things I want to do are in line with what you express in your ad.

 

I agree that I would prefer, for many reasons, with legal ones being at the forefront, not discussing sexual preferences until we're both naked and have started becoming intimate (i.e. once we've kissed, and I know I'm not dealing with a cop). Then, I will tell the escort what my preferences are, whether he asks me or not. And I don't like it if I have to repeat myself, especially multiple times. However, the original poster asked "....do you find this helpful, in the sense that ones's cards are on the table, or are you sort of startled, and prefer to just take things slow and get to know each other first?", which, to me, implied that he was startled by the question even once the encounter had begun. So I also agree with Steven Draker that overt verbal communication would usually improve the session for most clients, since he is right that escorts are not mind-readers. As a physician, I occasionally encounter patients (usually from different cultures) who do not want to know their diagnoses and/or be involved in treatment decisions. They might say "Just tell my son, and let him decide." However, this is quite rare. If a client prefers to keep his preferences secret, he should just say so at he start of the session. But then he shouldn't complain if he doesn't get what he was looking for. I certainly don't get being "startled" by the question. The escort is trying to do his best job, by assessing your expectations. Would you be startled by a baker who asked what kind of bread you prefer, or a doctor asking if you prefer surgery or radiation? Do you go to a restaurant and say to the server "Surprise me!"?

As for kissing, I can't in my wildest imagination ever hiring a guy I wouldn't want to kiss. I don't hire a guy unless I see his picture, so there is no doubt in my mind that this guy turns me on. Only twice have I had the experience of the guy not looking like the pictures he has up, in which case I tell him that he isn't what he advertised, and I cancel the appointment based on false advertising. There are some things which might be different from one guy to another, or based on how I feel that day. For example, I only bottom for a minority of my hires. I usually prefer hiring guys who are versatile, to leave possibilities open. However, if the guy advertises as a bottom, I might hire him with the understanding that I'm not going to expect him to be able top me. If the guy advertises as top or versatile, I expect him to be able to function in the roles he describes when we meet.

[Steven_Draker]

I agree that I would prefer, for many reasons, with legal ones being at the forefront, not discussing sexual preferences until we're both naked and have started becoming intimate (i.e. once we've kissed, and I know I'm not dealing with a cop).

 

That makes sense, Unicorn, if you're hiring an 'unknown entity' off the pages of BP. In that case, I truly hope that you'll be able to distinguish the escort from the undercover cop before meeting up in person. Once you're in the same hotel room with the law enforcement officer, you won't be able to get intimate with him and ask him about his preferences. ;-)

 

You don't need to worry about sharing your likes/dislikes prior to the meeting if you hire a "well-reviewed escort" (I know, a cliché).

 

Communication (repeat 3 times)

 

Happy hiring, everyone!

 

[bcohen7719]

Try to put yourself in the escort's shoes.

 

Answering the tastes/interests/specialties in Rentboy doesn't give any info about the CLIENT's interests. Interests can vary greatly! Go from general to more specific. This is about the client and the client's needs.

 

Come to think of it: in some cases a prep work is necessary. Therefore I find "What are you into?" a very practical question. If you don't communicate properly, don't expect your escort to be a mindreader. [/color]

 

Steve,

 

I usually agree with your way of thinking...but here, one has to also keep in mind that people

may communicate at differiing pace or speed. Some people are quite adept at sharing from the get-go

their inner desires. I, myself, don't open up that quickly. Perhaps it might be best to share

that as well (s..l..o..w..l..y).

 

BC

[+ Gar1eth]

And, if an escort asks that question, and it will be your first experience, (which is coming up shortly), what does one say? I have definite ideas what I would like to happen. But, from what I hear from escorts in the forum is just tell him that. He will understand, and just relax and enjoy the ride? I am positive the gentleman that I will be with will do just that. If an escort were to ask me. "what am I into?" At his point I'd have to say "dah, teach me master."

 

Wow- congratulations on your upcoming 1st time!!! I hope it's someone experienced and reputable with good reviews. If it's your 1st time also with man to man sex, please be sure and tell the escort this. Experienced escorts should be able ease you into things whether you want to top, bottom, or whatever. My 1st experience was really my 1st experience of any type. My 1st guy was very patient. He even had to teach me how to kiss. I can remember how shocked I felt- in a good way when he began to nuzzle my neck and ears. I had heard all the jokes about 'blow in my ear and I'll follow you anywhere', but I had no idea the basis in truth in that.

 

Gman