On escort/client friendship -- again

[gp0560]

Escorts, have you ever told a client that you considered him a friend? ("Friend" in the deepest sense, not just pal, fuck buddy, acquaintance, etc.) How did you convince him that you weren't just saying so as a ploy?

 

Clients, has an escort ever told you that he considered you a friend? "Friend" in the deepest sense, not just pal, fuck buddy, acquaintance, etc. How did he convince you that he wasn't just saying so as a ploy?

[+ Funguy]

Tho not expressly stated as, "Gee, I really think of you as a friend" sort of thing, after being a "regular" for a period of time you can figure it out when you wind up going to dinner or lunch before or after an appointment. I value the companionship I've had with some of our better (longer-lived) escorts as well as their "escort services" and the time in bed has been a lot different than with others. With these guys, definitely not a ploy nor do they need a ploy.

[elliotpierce]

I have. I have a very close bond with some of my clients. That's what I find so intriguing about this business. There is no other type of relationship that compares to the one between an escort and his/her client. Don't get me wrong, some clients just remain clients, not because they don't want to be friends; the majority of them just have other responsibilities and intentionally try to maintain their distance. A few of mine have become dear friends, the kind that I'd bend over backwards for (no pun intended) to make sure they're happy.

[maninsoma]

Friend = If I do stuff "off the clock" with someone.

 

Friendly = If I feel like I have a good connection with someone where we actually get to know one another to some extent, but there's no off the clock interaction. (Not saying the guy has to be a clock watcher, but there's no "let's have lunch" or "let's go to a movie" just for the sake of it.)

[SteveEscort]

Never

 

As hard as it sounds, I came to this world for a financial need, they came to this world for a sexual need or male to male bonding need. I have my cats, my house and my friends.

 

Clients say to me time and time again "Steve you won't ever contact me or use the number displayed".. No I won't and that applies to the ones that want that and tell me to keep their number. I have never and never will contact a client outside this work.

 

Clients who welcome such contact are needing something more than a discreet paid liaison. Most of my clients just want a no fuss fun. I see some clients every week and its on a "call me only" basis, when they need my service. To contact them would feel needy and sordid, like I was touting for business.

 

I have a personal life outside this work and a good job too and therefore, a crossover isn't applicable in my circumstances.

 

I've been doing this work a long time and I have a good balance where this concerns. It's never made me unpopular in this sort of work, infact because I never ever contact clients its probably brought those good regular clients back time and time again. Ive heard so many horror stories of gay escorts texting businessmen and telling them they help with their rent. It starts off with a gentle Hello and leads, over weeks, to a needy self obsession to get money.

 

At the end of the day, clients contact us, we put ourselves out there to be contacted and I feel the contact level should remain like that. They should contact us when they need us, we should never pry, encroach or concern ourselves with their personal lives.

[elliotpierce]

Steve, you do make a good point. But this job is all about client comfortability. The reason the majority of them even contact us in the first place is because they are actually lonely. Not all of them, but most. It is our task to be the one person that will actually give them the time of day and show them that regardless of the dollar signs, we actually do care. By developing friendships with my closer clients, I've found it's easier to relate with them and they're much more willing to contact you for a hire than someone else. Also, clients don't like to feel like they're only financing you for the sake of your occupational status, the entire reason they're hiring us in the first place is so that they can have a real, true, undeniable experience that they cannot receive from any other exterior motives. If the job is done right, then they automatically feel closer to you anyway, because you just made them feel like no one else could, or sometimes even would. These are the kinds of clients I like to keep around, some of which I do consider "friends."

 

Obviously, there are the clients that know exactly what they are paying you for and know exactly what they want out of it. After all is said and done, you get paid, they leave happy, and you may or may not see them again. Those can be fun and relatively easy as well, but to me nothing beats the feeling of being just as excited to see a client you're already comfortable with as they are to see you.

[tyro]

And that post, young man, indicates that you may become one of "the greats" in this business.

Just my two cents.

T

[SteveEscort]

The reason the majority of them even contact us in the first place is because they are actually lonely. Not all of them, but most. .

 

 

That must be an American thing because the majority, around 95% of my clients are married men, some might be lonely but it's certainly NOT most. To think that most are lonely is a bit of a slight arrogance. Most will have a need not a loneliness. That's something you don't seem to grasp or understand. I would rarely consider a client to be lonely. It's really one of the worst analysis I've never heard. This site must be full of lonely men, its not !!!!

[big-n-tall]

A little from column A, a little from column B, and some from column C.

 

I have met escorts and either over time or immediately we've been in the friend column. I've been invited to homes, hung out and gone to the movies & dinner, been called just to say hi... all without the sex equation. One particular guy is a webcam model... never physically met for sex, but we're as close as brothers now (met his family, been to his house, went to ball games together). He's even tried to get me to move closer to him so we can hang out more. Thinking of him sexually now actually weirds me out. LOL!

 

I have met escorts whom i would consider acquaintances. We're friendly to one another other and have a great time together beyond the sex, but once they are out of the area... that's it... nothing more. I'll get an occasional phone message about whatever. Then of course there are just the hook up ones. Some of them have mentioned the friend thing, but I never hear from them until it's hook up time. So I wouldn't consider them friends nor acquaintances.

 

I won't tell someone I'm their friend unless I mean it. When an escort says it, depending on the person and how well I've come to know them... I can be a little skeptical. However, if a friendship grows over time, all the better. I guess the biggest determiner if they are really friends is when they retire. If they still keep in contact once they are temporarily or permanently out of the business... I guess that's a good sign you really are friends.

[elliotpierce]

I would rarely consider a client to be lonely. It's really one of the worst analysis I've never heard.

 

You're completely missing the point, but I'm not going to argue with you. First of all, I don't get how you can say that saying they were lonely was offensive, when you prety much just flat out said you only see your clients as just clients and nothing else. We all get a variety; married, bicurious, young, old, big, and small. I wasn't inferring they were lonely because no one would give them the time of day, I used the term "lonely" to infer that the typical client will hire an escort because he seeks his accompaniment and companionship above just wanting a quick hit-and-quit appointment. I'm not going to start some ditzy pre-teen internet argument with you over your misunderstanding. I'm just saying only you can do your job, so if you so choose to continue treating your clients as money signs then go right ahead, I'll be over here in the U.S. treating mine with the courteousness and respect that they deserve from someone they can actually consider a FRIEND.

[Browser]

Interesting topic. I occasionally hire escorts, and on a couple occasions, they turned out to be very interesting people in their own right. We became friends. I've invited them over to my home for parties (as guests, not sex workers - I don't have those kind of parties), gone for lunch or dinner, and even a movie or two. All this as friends, who enjoy each others company. But when the urge strikes and I feel like a sexual encounter, I arrange for an appointment and i pay them as I did our initial meeting. After all, this is their work and source of income. I enjoy them as friends (no fee) and as escorts (fee). I realize this is not usual, but it has worked for me and my friends who happen to also be my escorts on occasion.

[Newly]

That's pretty interesting. People do this all the time with doctors, lawyers and so forth, but is it the same when sex and intimacy are involved? What happens if one of these friends becomes more? Is there a point when it feels strange to pay for intimacy? Would intimacy be the same if it is available to anyone who has an appointment? I think its fantastic that you can make this work, and I'm assuming that lots of escorts with partners make this work all the time, but my somewhat limited mind has a hard time wrapping itself around this. Maybe you have a current relationship so you know that anything with an escort won't go past a certain point? But if that's the case doesn't that make the relationship different from a regular friendship that just develops without a bunch of preset limits?

[TruHart1]

Steve, you do make a good point. But this job is all about client comfortability. The reason the majority of them even contact us in the first place is because they are actually lonely. Not all of them, but most. It is our task to be the one person that will actually give them the time of day and show them that regardless of the dollar signs, we actually do care. By developing friendships with my closer clients, I've found it's easier to relate with them and they're much more willing to contact you for a hire than someone else. Also, clients don't like to feel like they're only financing you for the sake of your occupational status, the entire reason they're hiring us in the first place is so that they can have a real, true, undeniable experience that they cannot receive from any other exterior motives. If the job is done right, then they automatically feel closer to you anyway, because you just made them feel like no one else could, or sometimes even would. These are the kinds of clients I like to keep around, some of which I do consider "friends."

 

Obviously, there are the clients that know exactly what they are paying you for and know exactly what they want out of it. After all is said and done, you get paid, they leave happy, and you may or may not see them again. Those can be fun and relatively easy as well, but to me nothing beats the feeling of being just as excited to see a client you're already comfortable with as they are to see you.

 

This is a fascinating topic. I think Steve and Elliot are both right, though. Each man conducts business in the manner which is most comfortable for him. Both Steve and Elliot have great reviews so it follows that both are most likely excellent escorts! Elliot is relatively new to the business while Steve has been doing this (and doing it well) for quite a while. Elliot seems to have a feel for what his clients are looking for as does Steve. Reading both their multiple posts, each man seems very intelligent in their various and astute contributions to this forum. Therefore I must draw the conclusion that both these men know the needs and desires of their particular clientele, though those may not be at all the same for each man. In other words, neither are incorrect.

 

Other escorts may chime in, (after all, I am only a client) but I believe there is room in the world of escorts for any number of great escorts with any number of “business models!” I have personally become friends with a few of the men I have hired, including some off-the-clock time enjoyed together but I also have met some really wonderful escorts who keep the relationship on a business-only basis and, if they are good (I have been very lucky here) I still feel that frisson with them each time I hire them and do not ever feel like it is necessary to be their “friend” to enjoy their particular talents in the bedroom! I began hiring to build self-esteem but I continue hiring because I am really enjoying meeting and relating to new and diverse people!

 

TruHart1:cool:

[Epigonos]

I must say I find the constant repetition of this topic wearisome. The answer is quite simple - to each his own – some will – some won’t – end of discussion!!!!!

[seeker630]

I must say I find the constant repetition of this topic wearisome. The answer is quite simple - to each his own – some will – some won’t – end of discussion!!!!!

 

Some people are apparently still interested in the topic.

[+ purplekow]

This topic comes up on the anniversary of the passing of a friend I met when I hired him as an escort. RIP. By the way, his mother asked me to speak at his funeral and I spoke of him as a dear friend. So for me, it is a definite yes, clients and escorts may be friends.

[SteveEscort]

You're completely missing the point, but I'm not going to argue with you. First of all, I don't get how you can say that saying they were lonely was offensive, when you prety much just flat out said you only see your clients as just clients and nothing else. We all get a variety; married, bicurious, young, old, big, and small. I wasn't inferring they were lonely because no one would give them the time of day, I used the term "lonely" to infer that the typical client will hire an escort because he seeks his accompaniment and companionship above just wanting a quick hit-and-quit appointment. I'm not going to start some ditzy pre-teen internet argument with you over your misunderstanding. I'm just saying only you can do your job, so if you so choose to continue treating your clients as money signs then go right ahead, I'll be over here in the U.S. treating mine with the courteousness and respect that they deserve from someone they can actually consider a FRIEND.

 

First and foremost, I've been an escort for 14 years. I don't see any of my clients, nor do I treat any of them as Money Signs, how awful for you to think that of someone else, I treat being an escort as a job. You might not have meant lonely but it was a poor choice of words. Potential clients and former clients could read that and think you're taking pity on them and that really isn't good.

 

I prefer to have my personal life personal, just because the workman was super kind when fixing your washing machine it doesn't mean he wants to pop out for a burger and fries later on. I am the same, I am super kind to the clients and it doesn't matter to me if its a full on evening of companionship or a 3 minute fumble, both of which I do, the clients come to us because they seek out male to male contact, its not my place to then involve myself in their lives and I keep everything superficial and easy for them. I never initiate any further contact and leave it all to them.

 

There are some clients who walk through my door who are super fit, the type I would date had it been in other circumstances but I've enough in my life without clouding the boundaries. It works for me and yes, I have had clients who want to text and who want to email and I'm happy to go along with that, but for me, that's all it's going to be. Whether that makes me a bad person or not doesn't really concern me.

 

The only reason I pulled you on your post was because you referred to most of of your clients as being lonely. I thought it was a bad choice of words. As I said earlier, you never ever ever ever want your clients to think you pity them and it was only mentioned because that's how your choice of words came across.

 

I never slagged you off or anything but you are a different matter, maybe when you get into your 30s you might see things from a different outlook. Money Signs, what a thing to say about someone, it is nearly as bad as calling clients lonely. Grow up !

[elliotpierce]

Agree to disagree. We're done here.

[bigvalboy]

I have said this before, but there are a handful of escorts that I became friends with. As far as my definition of friend is concerned, I would say that it is someone who will call and just want to hangout for the day or weekend, or will go to dinner with me and very often will insist on picking up the meal. Like many things, developing a friendship is often complicated. I think that it is something that has to happen naturally. We are often attracted to those that we hire, and sometimes I have wanted a friendship only to be told that our relationship was purely business.

 

I recently, much to my surprise, developed a friendship (well I am actually working on it) with two local hires. Both are twenty something, and began pursuing and interest in me. My guard was up, since I was not sure exactly why they wanted a friendship with someone old enough to be their father. After all I am not an ATM machine. I did make a few comments, half joking of course, questioning their intentions. Both guys were clearly hurt by my comments, and for them at least they do not see what I see or the age difference. So for now I am just going to take this slowly, enjoy their company, and for once in my life not try and overthink everything.

[Decatur Guy]

I'm friendly with several escorts I've hired, in that we've had post-hiring communications via e-mail or a phone call. They're usually quite brief, except for one escort with whom I occasionally have longer phone discussions.

 

I'm not sure any of them actually consider me a friend, as in someone they'd look up for dinner or movie. I'd be open to such a relationship with any of the ones with whom I'm friendly, but I leave that up to them to initiate, and none of them have.

 

As for the topic being tiresome, perhaps I'll think the same thing in another five years, but as I've only been posting on the Forum for a few years, it's not worn out its welcome with me.

[Newly]

I like bigvalboy's advice...I tend to over think everything too. Won't be easy to follow, but really good advice. As for repeated threads, so much has been discussed over the years that if we followed that rule there might not be much left to talk about.

[Bosguy]

I must say I find the constant repetition of this topic wearisome. The answer is quite simple - to each his own – some will – some won’t – end of discussion!!!!!

 

Epigonos is correct. It is a topic that has widely divergent views and is a unique and highly individual arrangement.

 

Boston Bill

[robberbaron4u]

The test, I surmise, is, "Hey, we're FRIENDS, you ain't goin' charge me, are you?" If, in reply, the escort holds you up by your ankles and shakes his fee loose from you, you know "FRIENDS" was a ploy.

[Diverdan]

I have had many experiences similar to what BVB describes. The "friendship" developed over a long time, but remains to this day with a couple of the guys. When I am in the area where they live we get together... hang out, go to movies, go bar hopping, have dinner, etc. We also sometimes play together and I am happy to pay, even though he sometimes does not want to accept his fee. But as has been said here, we are different and what experiences one person has does not negate the others. There is no right or wrong way, and I just marvel at the many ways that a business relationship may develop into something more, but sometimes it is only business.

[johnjohn]

I met guy in 1989 we saw each as escort/client for like 5 years, then I got a call from him one day ,he asked in I would be interested in meeting him in Ft Lauderdale for a long weekend. We split everything , had great time as Just Friend, We have traveled to Europe, all over the USA we splitting everything. We grew into close friends, I consider him one of my best friends as he does I . No Sex in years, just friends .