So Long And Thanks For All The Fish

[+ Gar1eth]

As a lot of you may or may not remember, I've been out of a job for a year. Because of the way my last job ended (fired - horrible job- for 9 months I had an almost constant stomach pain from stress- as well as continued lack of sleep), I went into a deep depression- an acute depression on top of my chronic depressive attitude because I was afraid the firing would prevent me from continuing in my career.

 

Well I finally pulled up my big boy pants, and made an attempt to restart my career. It seemed like I might have a chance, but Wednesday something occurred that probably nailed the coffin shut on resuming my career for good. It seems like the fears I had after losing my last job were correct.

 

I've enjoyed my years on Hooboys and now Daddy's. In addition to the escorts I've met, I've made some very nice email friends. Frankly, I'm not exactly sure what my life holds for me now. But I'm most likely either never really going to be able to afford an escort again- or if I can it's not going to be for a long long time. So I need to try and wean myself off of this site, Rentboy, Men4RentNow, Rentmen and all the rest. It's going to be very difficult. I started reading the site shortly after it first debuted back in the late 90's, and the site and my interactions on the Forum have been a big part of my life since then. I might not ever have had sex if not for the reviews as I was a total virgin before my 1st time with an escort in 2002 (the retired former porn star Dallas Taylor). I had never even French kissed anyone before until Dallas taught me how. But if I don't have the wherewithal to hire- and in spite of whether people think I'm exaggerating or not- it's the truth that I almost never find anyone interested in hooking up with me ( the last complete non paid experience I had was in December 2012- and the one before that was May /June 2012 and the one before that was October 2011-- and the one before that was never). And I've never had a relationship. I guess I'm just too damaged.

 

So continually reading a site where people are having fun with escorts or talking about their non- escort exploits is not going to be very pleasant. It's very possible I might come peeking back at the Reviews and the Forum from time to time- after all it's been a large part of my life for at least 14 years. But I don't think it will be very healthy for me when I'm penniless. So I'm going to try my best to go cold turkey.

 

In the tradition of great farewell speeches - for my last few thoughts I'd like you all to know that 'I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve '

 

On a more serious note, I will miss the Forum Members and the Site. I'm grateful to Hooboy for starting the site. I'm sorry he's no longer with us. I want to thank Daddy and the Moderators for all the hard work they have done in continuing the site over the years. Maybe if my life ever 'straightens' out, I'll return and have to eat crow about this interminably long farewell post. I wish I could see that as a likely probability- but I don't at this point. I will miss all the 'friendly' discussions.

 

I wish everyone good fortune in their relationships and hiring.

 

Gman

[tyro]

You will be missed. I wish you only every good thing.

T

[bigvalboy]

Well I for one am very saddened by this news. I will not try and second guess what is in your heart, or in your thoughts, and I will certainly respect any decision you have made in regards to leaving. I am usually one that will always have an answer to a problem or situation, but this post has left me just feeling sad, and caught off guard, so I am a bit at a loss for words.

 

I am so sorry that things are not going your way, and I sincerely hope that your 'Higher power' whatever you envision that to be, will grant you some good fortune for the future. I have not always agreed with you, but I always respected your opinion, enjoyed your take on things, and I can tell you without hesitation that many many will miss you here.

 

I hope that our paths will cross in the future......

[biguy]

Hey, Gman - give us some info and maybe someone here will be able to give you some help: where are you, what do you want to do, want can you do, etc. It's worth a shot.

[Frequentflier]

Gman,

 

Your post was difficult to read and I'm sorry for your troubles. We've never met but you seem like a nice, very intelligent and genuine man. I wish you the best, hope you'll stay a participant on this site to whatever degree you want and I look forward to reading about an improvement in your situation so we can celebrate that with you. I had what seemed like the darkest of times in my life awhile ago. It doesn't matter how it compares to your situation because only what you're dealing with matters now. I truly believe someone as intelligent as you will be recognized and welcomed by an employer soon. Or maybe as a consultant which can often times be even better. I know you find it troubling to read about other men having relations with guys that maybe you're not. Enjoying life isn't just about sex. Although its interesting to read that you had two non paid sexual experiences in 2012 - so what the hell are you complaining about - LOL Good for you. But back to the point. Life is great independent of having sexual encounters so adjust your happiness and fulfillment filter. When I was last looking for a job, I'd be up early following up on leads, calling contacts, emailing and then I got my ass out of the house. Hiking, getting to the library, volunteering, lots of ways to connect with other people and some connections (as I'm sure you know) turn into jobs. Independent of all that, make some time everyday to appreciate some things in your life. Whether its a scenic view that takes your breath away, or the face of a newborn niece or nephew that smiles and laughs with you, a play in NYC or a movie in which the acting has a profoundly positive impact on you. Its sure tough/tough/tough and nobody can tell you otherwise when you're the one dealing with it, but shoot me for saying this, you will get through this period and I'm rooting for you to.

 

Now, take a walk around the neighborhood, say hello and smile to some random strangers and I bet you'll feel better.

[marylander1940]

All the best to you! I hope you can take some time off and decide what's next in your life.

I've been trying to advice you by PM about working out, becoming more active, engaging your family and neighbors, I hope you do part of it.

Sincerely,

M.

[Decatur Guy]

I'm really sorry to hear about the continued joblessness. It's an insidious problem that has claimed a terrible toll on the lives of people I know. I hope for you an opportunity soon a chance at job that can help turn things around for you. You are such a nice guy who deserves a break.

[+ Charlie]

Gar1eth, you will definitely be missed by many here, and I hope you will miss some of us. But you may be right: sometimes it's best to get away from a place that is no longer where you are emotionally. It clears your mind and allows you to see a different perspective. I stopped being interested in escorts a long time ago, and I have thought of just stepping away. But I have always been reluctant to completely cut my connection to a place where I have found a lot of cameraderie and stimulation, even when the main focus is no longer very relevant to my life. So I still stop in regularly, even though I don't feel any compulsion to participate. I hope you will not feel that you have now made a public vow of Hooboy chastity that you must not break. Take a peak back in every few months to see what is going on, and don't be afraid to say "hi." We'll always be happy to see you again. Good luck with a new career, and stay open to new relationships, even if they don't seem to fit your preconceptions of what you are looking for.

[Epigonos]

Love and best wishes.

[Okliehomo]

Nope....no way...

 

This is not "so long".........

 

You and I have been in touch forever. Yep, way back in the Hooboy days.. and we have shared alot of boys......

 

ALOT.

 

And YOU were the only one that reached out when Arpad died. That's how special you are and how well you know me.

 

So, I get it if you have to sign off this place, but know for sure, that we ain't over.

 

Okie

[+ FreshFluff]

Gareth, I am truly sorry to hear this as I've always looked forward to reading your posts. I'm even more sorry to hear that you're facing career issues that seem insoluble. I am hoping that you can find someone to help you get past them.

 

I wish you the very best going forward.

[Guest]

I'll join those who will be sorry to no longer hear from you. Just because you're not hiring, of course, doesn't mean you shouldn't contribute to the forums. Now that I have a domestic partner, I hire a whole lot less than I used to--mainly when I go to professional conferences or he does likewise (we have an open relationship, but it's not as if I can say "Honey, we won't be having dinner together tonight--I'll be hiring an escort!"). But ultimately that decision is up to you, of course. I hope you get help with your mood and your career. Things are never as hopeless as you fear--maybe a change in direction is in order. I hope you check in every once in a while to let us know you're OK!

[+ purplekow]

Gar1eth, I can understand your feelings but i am concerned that someone who is depressed is cutting off a source of support and enjoyment. I would hope you might find this place as a guilty pleasure, or perhaps a refuge from the temporary oppression of your life right now. I recently went through a rather tumultous time in my professional life and after about 2 years, i am finally seeing an upswing. It does get better. During that time, i would come to this site and there would be a silly argument or hot pictures of a sexy man or a silly argument about hot pictures of a sexy man and I was temporarily transported out of my head, out of my world and into a gentleman's club with supportive and annoying men and a few supportive women. Take a walk away if you must, but don't lock the door. We will keep a candle burning in the window awaiting your welcome return.

[+ Cock Eyed Optimist]

Here is another poster who will miss you! And as purplekow said, "We will keep a candle burning...."

[Diverdan]

I for one, like many others here will miss you in so many ways. Take a break if you must, and I hope and pray that these aspects of your life will turn around. Life is certainly tough without a job, but know that you have friends here. There are a lot of resources around that can be of help, whether it is trying to find the right job, getting involved socially with a group or volunteering for some place where there are folks in a far worse situtation than you are in. Please feel free to send me a PM if I can be of some help. Know that you will continue to be in our thoughts and prayers, and I only wish the very best for you.

DD

[wayout]

As a relatively small community here on this forum, we are somehow all connected to each other in a special way. Nothing can change that connection and you will always be part of this community regardless of your participation or not. The posts above goes to show the depth of feelings towards you and they have expressed far better than I can the importance of your contributions, how you will be missed and that you will always be welcomed back. You are well respected and without question are valued as a good person. All I can echo is best wishes for the future and let you know that you will be in my thoughts (and hopefully things will work out so you do come back soon).

[MalcomXpark]

...All I can echo is best wishes for the future and let you know that you will be in my thoughts (and hopefully things will work out so you do come back soon).

 

Don't worry, he'll be back soon...

 

"You can't quit us, man!"

[JT Brooklyn]

"Best of Luck" to you..Gman!

[Michael Wayne]

This situation is FAR more common than we think. I have had 3 clients lose their job this month. all were regulars.... This economy is not real. It is artificially being propped up by the Fed.

[Cooper]

Gman, You've been a true gentleman on this site. Your contributions were greatly appreciated and will be missed... I'm sorry to read of the difficult times you're going through. I hope things will start to turn around for the better.. My sincerest best wishes... Coop

[Phil_musc]

I'm sorry to read of your departure, Gman. Even though I frequently disagreed with you, I always enjoyed reading your posts and your perspectives on things. It does seem to me that you have been depressed or at least "down" for as long as I've been coming here (a handful of years), but then so to have I. I do hope that something good will come your way soon - you seem like you deserve some brightness and happiness after such a period of darkness. At any rate, clearly you have mattered to a number of folks here in our little community who wrote with such sensitivity and concern for your well-being. That should at least lift your spirits for a time. Please check in on us from time to time - and say hello. Keep us posted on your life and how it's going -we all want to hear. Peace to you.

[bostonman]

Gman - so sorry to hear about all of this, and I do hope you won't *really* be leaving. But if you feel you must, know that we'll be thinking of you. And sending prayers that you will be able to find a good job. Wishing you all the best. Don't lose hope.

[seeker630]

Gman, like so many others here, I wish you better things. I was 'down-sized' at the end of 2010 and have some idea of what you may be feeling, since I'm still unemployed. But I hope you won't isolate yourself. It's clear that you have many people here who care about you.

 

I think a lot of readers here hire infrequently, if at all, and I wish that you could find some support and comfort here - perhaps just avoiding the reviews and the Deli sections. But of course, only YOU can weigh the relative benefits and downside of coming here.

 

Whatever you choose to do - I wish you the best!

[unsub2O17]

I have found you to be an invaluable source of knowledge and experience. I will miss you. On another note: you said that you hated your last job. Could this be an opportunity (rather than a setback) to pursue something that you enjoy much more??

[uwsman2]

Gman, sorry to hear about this bad turn. I was traveling this weekend and just now had first access since Friday. I hope you will reconsider about this site, since I think you undoubtedly derive pleasure even from just reading about the exploits of others, and chatting about things. There is lots of talk on this site apart from escorts - about society, culture, the state of the world, etc. Your comments are always welcome, and I think you might continue to derive enjoyment here. I urge you not to isolate yourself.