Has anyone ever dated or had a relationship with someone who...

[+ carlos45]

when giving an opinion that he doesn't agree with, he responds with, "shut up" or "stupid"?? What are your thoughts on this??

[josephga]

If someone called me stupid or told me to shut up id drop their ass

[down_to_business]

I think the context of the situation and the tone would have some meaning (if it happened once), but if he repeatedly tells you this-- then he doesn't respect you and you should dump his ass!

[+ nycman]

See ya.....!

[+ Travis69]

I think the biggest insult to a person is when they dismiss your opinion with only any one word or phrase and can't take the time to explain why they disagree with you. Perhaps someone says "that's absurd" or "limp" but doesn't take a few minutes to say why. The words can be nicer but the condescending attitude is the same.

[+ glutes]

Yes. And Kyle_K and I got a divorce...

[leigh.bess.toad]

Hasta la vista, baby. There is NO excuse for that and staying in a relationship like that is asking for bigger problems down the road

[+ purplekow]

Well I have no difficulty saying someone has a bad idea or that I disagree with their thinking. Sometimes however, an idea is just stupid and I do not feel bad saying so.

 

That is a stupid idea is not the same as you are stupid. We all have had stupid ideas. Look someone just restarted a 5 year old thread about plagarism which amounted to the citing of an article about a Hungarian politician stepping down over old plagarism. What word better describes that action? As to the person, I have no idea whether the adjective fits generally or just for this particular thought and action?

 

One has only to check through some of the escorts I have hired to come to the conclusion that I have had some stupid thoughts.

 

 

I expect someone I love to love me but they do not have to love every idea I come up with and sometimes the loving thing to do is to tell someone they are being stupid.

[+ azdr0710]

could be a sign of low self-esteem, insecurity, and/or an attempt at validating themselves.....

 

is this happening to you, marica?....

[bigvalboy]

I don't deal with people like that in my life....

[Guest]

On the other hand, have you guys seen that video of the guy who's unsuccessful in convincing his girl that if you're driving 60 MPH it'll take you an hour to drive 60 miles??

[bigvalboy]

On the other hand, have you guys seen that video of the guy who's unsuccessful in convincing his girl that if you're driving 60 MPH it'll take you an hour to drive 60 miles??

 

What did you think of that? I thought it was really sad. What kind of person would post a video, that clearly is making fun of and degrading his new wife, for millions of people to see. I think that at some point, there has to be some level of respect, especially with your partner. OR I could just be over reacting. Clearly she may not have cared and even thought it was funny her self.

[+ purplekow]

What did you think of that? I thought it was really sad. What kind of person would post a video, that clearly is making fun of and degrading his new wife, for millions of people to see. I think that at some point, there has to be some level of respect, especially with your partner. OR I could just be over reacting. Clearly she may not have cared and even thought it was funny her self.

 

Was flipping through the dial and ran across these two being interviewed on something called Tosh.0 He said he regretted posting it and she said that they had been up all right traveling and she was very tired.

[+ carlos45]

@azdr0710: I thank you for responding to the question. Some years back, I belonged to a group of gay/bisexual Latino men who met twice a month to discuss various topics. I recall their being a few people who likely projected their own insecurities, by responding to comments, with those words. What bothered me the most, is that most of the men that gave these opinions, were either university educated or were in the process of completing their higher education degrees. Now, I can say that a reaction like that would be a deal breaker for me in a relationship.

[jjkrkwood]

As you may have noticed, "Shut Up" is not a statement I understand !

[+ Shoreboy]

There are hundreds of correct ways to disagree without being condescending nor insulting.....I would not tolerate being told to shut up let alone being called stupid because of what I believed in and or thought.

 

It all boils down to simple respect for a differing opinion and a person

[jjkrkwood]

There are hundreds of correct ways to disagree without being condescending nor insulting.....I would not tolerate being told to shut up let alone being called stupid because of what I believed in and or thought.

 

It all boils down to simple respect for a differing opinion and a person

 

Shoreboy, if people could be TAUGHT that, we would HAVE World Peace. Or at least Peaceful Websites !

[bigvalboy]

There are hundreds of correct ways to disagree without being condescending nor insulting.....I would not tolerate being told to shut up let alone being called stupid because of what I believed in and or thought.

 

It all boils down to simple respect for a differing opinion and a person

 

It would be nice if members on this board practiced a little respect for different opinions. We actually have a member in 'time out' right now, who not long ago told me to "shut the fuck up" and it was on a thread where I had just finished supporting him..I was baffled. I called him out on it and he mysteriously vanished for 3 days. When he returned he actually claimed that someone hacked his computer and stole his user name. Ya gotta love that. At least he was creative. Well a few days later he tried it again on another member, and Daddy sent him packing. If nothing else Shoreboy, this is at least entertaining. LOL LOL

[+ FreshFluff]

when giving an opinion that he doesn't agree with, he responds with, "shut up" or "stupid"?? What are your thoughts on this??

 

Many people who do this are abusive. Even if they're not, they make crappy partners.

 

I dated someone like this, but he only showed his true colors during a weekend trip to the Hamptons. I was on my best behavior and put up with all sorts of crap I wouldn't have otherwise tolerated.

 

He decided to take his antique car to the movies though he had another on. Turned out the seatbelt on my side was broken. Given that it was 2 AM and he's not the most careful driver, I asked whether I could sit in the back seat for the return trip, since there's a seatbelt there. (I obviously didn't mention the reason.) The response?

 

"You f---ing wuss! You f--ing wuss! Why do you need a f---ing seatbelt? (Repeated for about 20 minutes.) What's the problem with getting killed in a car accident? It's a quick death!"

 

I really liked this guy, but I dumped him right away after the trip. (Of course, he came up with excuses like "You're so used to being put on a pedestal. I'm not like your other guys!")

[Bosguy]

Many of us have dismissed remarks like that, but my advise after ending a long term relationship, is to address it NOW firmly and immediately cause it will only get worse.

 

Boston Bill

[Samai139]

After reading the original question and all the responses, I'm wondering if there are times when alcohol, tiredness, stress may play a role in a partner, friend, relative, date snappping out a "Shut Up!" Not that those factors are any excuse for such rude behaviour but if the comment is a rare occurence then perhaps it could be overlooked or responded to with a mild ---"I'm sure you didn't mean that to come out so harshly." But for a partner to repeatedly tell you to shut up or to call you stupid? As many others have said----Good Bye---no arguments, no long examinations of who said what and why, just that's it, you are history.

Agree with Bigvalboy---many of us on this thread need to be more respectful of the opinions of others when posting and for that matter, all the time. We can disagree with each other without being disagreeable.

[operalover21]

when giving an opinion that he doesn't agree with, he responds with, "shut up" or "stupid"?? What are your thoughts on this??

 

No, and if I had it would have lasted for about 5 seconds after the douchebag said it. Unless someone is a masochist, which I'm not.

[gallahadesquire]

British Comedy uses it effectively ... I specifically remember AS TIME GOES ON, when Dame Judith Dench disagrees with her male friend, and just says, "Oh, shut up ...". But it is rarely said in these tones in the US of A.

 

I had an argument about the contrabass Recorder versus the contrabass Krumhorn - At least, I think that was the argument - and after being told, multiple times, that I was wrong (which I was), I finally said "Shut up!" He did. We didn't speak for six months. He even left the bulk of his dinner at dinner.

 

But he's passed on, now, and one should not speak ill of the dead.

[rvwnsd]

when giving an opinion that he doesn't agree with, he responds with, "shut up" or "stupid"?? What are your thoughts on this??

 

I usually paraphrase my mother's quotes. When I hear "shut up" I give my best innocent look and say "I always think people should take their own advice, don't you?" When I hear "stupid" I get the same innocent look and ask "Stupid in what way?" When the other person cannot come up with an answer (and they never can) I paraphrase my mother and say "well, if you can't explain how it is stupid, then it can't be stupid now can it?" That was her way of saying "shut up."

 

God, I miss my mom.

[bigvalboy]

I usually paraphrase my mother's quotes. When I hear "shut up" I give my best innocent look and say "I always think people should take their own advice, don't you?" When I hear "stupid" I get the same innocent look and ask "Stupid in what way?" When the other person cannot come up with an answer (and they never can) I paraphrase my mother and say "well, if you can't explain how it is stupid, then it can't be stupid now can it?" That was her way of saying "shut up."

 

God, I miss my mom.

 

Brilliant!!! I loved this...I miss my mom also. Funny how much we take from them and embrace.