masc only; my age or younger; str8-acting

[gcursor]

Very interesting article I read. Main point being: The negative language so prevalent on Craigslist and Grindr seems to signal that the culture of sexual liberation has been replaced by sexual segregation.

 

http://www.fabmagazine.com/story/not-just-a-preference

[unsure]

Thanks for the interesting article. I think we all were likely in one of those categories that were excluded by those profiles at some point. My favorite quote was "I don’t know why some guys only want to fuck Hitler’s Youth." Lol.

[JT Brooklyn]

Germans are a good Lay with Big Schwantz's (Dicks)?

[jjkrkwood]

You like WHAT you like. No denying that fact ever..... In the end, theres always someone for everyone... Just takes a lot of looking. (or Hiring)...

[leigh.bess.toad]

Fascinating article gc. I've thought some of the same things. I'm sure I've been guilty of the same things too. I guess there certainly is a difference in what you are looking for in a relationship versus a hookup. I do try to examine my own pre-conceived notions (aka prejudices), not always successfully. I try to do it as I put the galleries together. One of my pre-conceived notions was challenged recently and a gallery will be going up shortly to address that.

 

Self-examination isn't a bad thing. Opening yourself up to other possibilities isn't a bad thing. But it isn't always easy.

 

Thanks for the fascinating read, gc.

[+ glutes]

Can wait for that report on the 'Silicone Cock' Viscount Wood...

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

I've learned that my friends often are better able to pick folks to date for me than I am able to do for myself. They tend to pick individuals that have values similar to mine - things that don't come to the surface well. I'm learned to not set up barriers for my friends and have given them only one rule: I won't date anyone who works for the same company as I do.

[Decatur Guy]

What I love is reading someone wants a guy 25 or younger, athletic, straight-acting, ect., and he turns out to be 45, "slightly" overweight, etc. ... yeah, good luck with that mister.

[jjkrkwood]

What I love is reading someone wants a guy 25 or younger, athletic, straight-acting, ect., and he turns out to be 45, "slightly" overweight, etc. ... yeah, good luck with that mister.

 

Thats the way it is DC. Often when I read Daddys escort reviews, they are often by middle aged to older, overweight gentlemen, so I guess the Free sex doesnt flow so freely for them,, and hence they Pay for what they want. I have commented myself on This site that alot of guys choosen by the members as "attractive and desirable" look like pre-teen girls..... Fantasy, fantasy, fantasy.....

[nate_sf]

I like the quote, "If you’re just trying to hook up, don’t be so picky about it." I wonder how many of those really specific profiles actually result in getting laid. I suppose someone with limited parameters might attract someone with equally limited parameters, but what are the odds?

 

A month or so ago I met a guy through Manhunt and when I got to his place discovered he was much more "nellie" than his profile and pics suggested. I was taken back at first, but then I thought, "I do want to get laid after all." And as it turns out the sex was fantastic. So I guess the problem with being so definitive with what you are "into" is that you might preclude being surprised with something you wouldn't have expected. Or at the very least, not get laid.

[leigh.bess.toad]

What I love is reading someone wants a guy 25 or younger, athletic, straight-acting, ect., and he turns out to be 45, "slightly" overweight, etc. ... yeah, good luck with that mister.

 

You aren't alone in that thought DG. And then you get into the "internet" age, weight and inches realm. I've often felt like I had the only honest profile on A4A, MH, Grndr, et al.

[jjkrkwood]

I like the quote, "If you’re just trying to hook up, don’t be so picky about it." I wonder how many of those really specific profiles actually result in getting laid. I suppose someone with limited parameters might attract someone with equally limited parameters, but what are the odds?

 

A month or so ago I met a guy through Manhunt and when I got to his place discovered he was much more "nellie" than his profile and pics suggested. I was taken back at first, but then I thought, "I do want to get laid after all." And as it turns out the sex was fantastic. So I guess the problem with being so definitive with what you are "into" is that you might preclude being surprised with something you wouldn't have expected. Or at the very least, not get laid.

 

Ive actually NEVER hooked up off of any of the MANY websites I have profiles on, although I do get tons of hits, am open and versatile in my tastes (although I have preferneces like everyone else) AND I am willing to travel. My conclusion with these sites is that I feel guys just want to see WHO they can actually attract, and often have no intention of ever meeting. They will message you back and forth a few times, and if you sound Serious about meeting them, and you agree to, the messages stop and they disappear. It takes more time and effort than it is truly worth, although it seems that it Shouldnt, so I opt to frequent the several sex clubs available in the NYC area, where I can see, feel and EAT.... Less effort, no drama, get off and go home, Period !

[nate_sf]

Ive actually NEVER hooked up off of any of the MANY websites I have profiles on, although I do get tons of hits, am open and versatile in my tastes (although I have preferneces like everyone else) AND I am willing to travel. My conclusion with these sites is that I feel guys just want to see WHO they can actually attract, and often have no intention of ever meeting. They will message you back and forth a few times, and if you sound Serious about meeting them, and you agree to, the messages stop and they disappear. It takes more time and effort than it is truly worth, although it seems that it Shouldnt, so I opt to frequent the several sex clubs available in the NYC area, where I can see, feel and EAT.... Less effort, no drama, get off and go home, Period !

 

Yes, that is so very true. I'm always amazed if, after pulling the trigger and saying let's get together, it actually happens. 9 times out of 10 they go away or say they need to get up early for work, etc. So yeah I think a lot of it is casting out a line and seeing what they can snag. Occasionally I'll see a profile on Grindr that admits they're only just on there because they're bored and want to chat... at least that's being honest!

[seeker630]

Very interesting article I read. Main point being: The negative language so prevalent on Craigslist and Grindr seems to signal that the culture of sexual liberation has been replaced by sexual segregation.

 

http://www.fabmagazine.com/story/not-just-a-preference

 

Nothing new in exclusionary language. I can remember in the late 70s or early 80's, our local gay (print) newspaper refused to print personal ads which contained a then-standard phrase "No fats, no fems, no beards". You were encouraged to state positive preferences rather than exclusions.

[Phil_musc]

I agree (again) with JJ. With the internet so much time is wasted with guys who are on for reasons other than hooking up. When you go to a playroom or sex club, at least you can be pretty sure the guys are there for whatever you're there for. There might still be a lot of S & M (stand & model) but you can figure that out right away and move onto the guys who seem more into something physical rather than so cerebral.

[Phil_musc]

I've actually read the article now. It seems that this was written by a grad student in a liberal university in a liberal city who is decrying the fact that gay men seem to have particular preferences (horrors!) for what they find attractive. Oh gosh, I've never heard that before - in fact, my life was so sheltered it never even crossed my mind that people might have individual preferences about who or what they do the nasty with. I just assumed it was me that they didn't like and didn't want to have sex with. Actually when I was younger a friend had also encouraged me to just do it and not worry so much about whether the person was my type of not. Sometimes (like when the hormones had kicked into overdrive) that would work and might lead to some interesting discoveries and experiences (much like Nate-sf wrote about) but other times I'd have a mental disconnect and think to myself - why am I doing this? I don't even like the guy or find him hot. But here at last I find that it was just my lack of PC-ness. To solve this rare, never before heard or seen problem I've resolved to "open a new window" and go out and become an equal opportunity f---er. Watch out, World! If this catches on, I suppose our grad student will then have to write another eye-opening piece about gay males and their shocking promiscuity. Thank god for the young with all their insights that we old-timers never thought of as well as their willingness to share these new ideas. And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take some geritol and go out and hook up with the first fat nellie old queen that I can find. Who wants those entitled young guys anyway? I plan to change the world one man at a time and promote world peace while I'm at it.

[leigh.bess.toad]

I realize the following picture is talking about a relationship versus a hookup, but it sort of is in line with the thread. I just came across this on Tumblr just a minute ago.

 

 

http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lfyd4c56l91qdtg1xo1_500.png

[jjkrkwood]

I've actually read the article now. It seems that this was written by a grad student in a liberal university in a liberal city who is decrying the fact that gay men seem to have particular preferences (horrors!) for what they find attractive. Oh gosh, I've never heard that before - in fact, my life was so sheltered it never even crossed my mind that people might have individual preferences about who or what they do the nasty with. I just assumed it was me that they didn't like and didn't want to have sex with. Actually when I was younger a friend had also encouraged me to just do it and not worry so much about whether the person was my type of not. Sometimes (like when the hormones had kicked into overdrive) that would work and might lead to some interesting discoveries and experiences (much like Nate-sf wrote about) but other times I'd have a mental disconnect and think to myself - why am I doing this? I don't even like the guy or find him hot. But here at last I find that it was just my lack of PC-ness. To solve this rare, never before heard or seen problem I've resolved to "open a new window" and go out and become an equal opportunity f---er. Watch out, World! If this catches on, I suppose our grad student will then have to write another eye-opening piece about gay males and their shocking promiscuity. Thank god for the young with all their insights that we old-timers never thought of as well as their willingness to share these new ideas. And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take some geritol and go out and hook up with the first fat nellie old queen that I can find. Who wants those entitled young guys anyway? I plan to change the world one man at a time and promote world peace while I'm at it.

 

Nellie Old queens? Phil, you really need to STOP calling me names. Once again, I am highly offended by you.

[Phil_musc]

Since that is you in your avatar, we all know that the words nellie old queen and JJ do not go together. Certainly not fat either!

[JoeyBryant]

This unfortunently is nothing new to me. There's a site I'm on which is for fitness/forums and mentions all that stuff that article mentioned especially about race.

 

I find most people who limit themselves and then mention it on their profile about race tend to be total pricks. They haven't really traveled anywhere, they think what they see is how the whole world is. Just narrow and closed-minded.

 

Even the ones who say they are only into Black guys (as obviously I am). I mean, of course there are guys on there who don't say it but may very well have that preference, but to make other people feel alienated is almost counter productive to their goals.

 

And like Nate said, with so many limitations it's hard to believe they even getting anywhere. You seem em 3 or 4 years later with the same pictures under a different name. Forever bachelors.

 

My conclusion with these sites is that I feel guys just want to see WHO they can actually attract, and often have no intention of ever meeting. They will message you back and forth a few times, and if you sound Serious about meeting them, and you agree to, the messages stop and they disappear.

 

NOW you're talking sense! That's very true. And too, some are already involved but just miss that little extra mingling ability. I mean seriously, you have a boyfriend but you're on adam4adam just looking for friends? Thats sad. I know I'm not ugly, hell I get paid just for being me. Yet my luck on those dating and hookuo sites out there are no where close to the luck that I have when I advertise for pay on rentboy/men4rent. So, my new motto is: If you can't give it away for free, put it up for sale. And it works. Qwest didn't want to take my old router back so I put it up for sale on craigslist and got an offer.

 

I am happy however that last week I was able to meet a guy where we spent a few days hanging out last weekend in my town, and now we're planning to catch up again in his city later this week...And nowhere on his profile did he mention anything about liking Black guys, not liking a certain race or any other non-negotiable quality!

[Guest verymarried]

A guy stated prominently on adam4adam that he did not want contacts from a certain ethnic group. The way he said it and how it was in context in the rest of his profile was so offensive to me that I wrote to him and suggested he not say that. I reminded him that he has the right not to reply to any hits he received. He replied to me by calling me some very ugly names and he blocked me from further contact with him. He also changed his profile to delete reference to his racial preference. I think that some people, in explaining their preferences, do not realize what they are saying is hurtful and can use reminders.

[jjkrkwood]

A guy stated prominently on adam4adam that he did not want contacts from a certain ethnic group. The way he said it and how it was in context in the rest of his profile was so offensive to me that I wrote to him and suggested he not say that. I reminded him that he has the right not to reply to any hits he received. He replied to me by calling me some very ugly names and he blocked me from further contact with him. He also changed his profile to delete reference to his racial preference. I think that some people, in explaining their preferences, do not realize what they are saying is hurtful and can use reminders.

 

I had a similar experience this weekend on Adam4Adam. A thirtiy-ish guy contacted me and said that he had a huge cock and loved to be serviced.

But he stated he does not travel and I would need to come to him. As much as I love huge cock, if I am doing all the work, the least they can do is come to me.... so I politely declined him, and then came the barage of insults, etc..saying I had alot of nerve to turn him down, and old muther fuckers like me should take it where they can get it. When I went to reply, he had blocked me... Hence is the online Game. Cyber space makes it too easy for the crazies....Whether they be young or Old....

[+ Shoreboy]

I think the key to this is liking who you are and not giving a flying shit what others think

[jjkrkwood]

I think the key to this is liking who you are and not giving a flying shit what others think

 

Well stated, and its advice that I Always follow.....

[josephga]

People can be blunt. I agree don't give a shit what others think. I saw 2 profiles that came to mind few weeks ago they both had 2 lines in their ads that stood out.

one said. vanilla & spice no chocolate or rice. the other said. I block more Asians than the great wall of china